Daughter in-law troubles!

Daughter in-law troubles!

Posted in the Paris Forum

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clara

United States

#1 Sep 6, 2011
Does anyone else have trouble with their daughter in-law? Please tell me how to get along with a person who is ruining your son's life financially and emotionally? Any advice.
Sunshine

Paris, TX

#2 Sep 6, 2011
You know, we have to let our sons go and make their
own decisions. When your husband picked you as his
wife, his Mother probably did not think you were the one for him and doing everything right. I think we all have dreams for our sons but basically
it is their life and we as Mothers have already done our job by the time they get married. We were not perfect and they are not perfect. Pray a lot and be kind, and do what you would want your mother-in-law to do.
Cuddles

Rockwall, TX

#3 Sep 6, 2011
A bit judgmental, don't you think?? What is so terrible & in ruins?? Give your son a little credit, and let him make decisions. In the end you will only push him further away by trashing your daughter in law. TRUST ME..!!
advice

Paris, TX

#4 Sep 6, 2011
clara wrote:
Does anyone else have trouble with their daughter in-law? Please tell me how to get along with a person who is ruining your son's life financially and emotionally? Any advice.
Leave them alone and let them work out their own problems. They don't need or want your advice I'm sure.
Cuddles

Rockwall, TX

#5 Sep 6, 2011
clara wrote:
Does anyone else have trouble with their daughter in-law? Please tell me how to get along with a person who is ruining your son's life financially and emotionally? Any advice.
Your post speaks volumes as to what the problem might actually be. First of all who would put this on a public forum, second have you ever thought it just might be the mother-in-law (YOU) causing troubles for this couple.
from a daughter-in-law

Paris, TX

#6 Sep 6, 2011
Take it from me, keep your mouth shut and your opinions to yourself. Take care of your own life and let them live theirs as they see fit. If you ever wish to stay in contact with your son, or at the very least be able to enjoy any grandchildren if they should have any, you had better leave them alone. Too many reasons as to why I feel this way, but if you respect your son, you will respect your daughter-in-law just as much and leave them alone if that is what they wish. If he chooses to let her run the household as she sees fit, then leave it alone. You have run your household, it is their turn now. If you are looking for a hand out as in my experience, pucker up and kiss their butt because their money is their money. Grow up again and get another job. If you can't, apply for assistance. If you are "sick" or some cockamania bullcrap, get help for that and then get help financially. Don't burden a married couple with your pathetic excuses or whines. Leave them alone. If they want contact, they will come to you. If you are a sweet old lady without a problem in the world and your daughter-in-law in truly the devil....sorry, can't help you there.
Truth Hurts

Rockwall, TX

#7 Sep 6, 2011
Sounds to me you need to back off, let the married couple figure out their issues. Be nice always, and above all don't criticize, verbal abuse can do lots of harm. Words can leave scars that will last a lifetime, once out there you can never get it back. Oh, don't manipulate either, most people are smart enough to see through that type of behavior. Playing the poor little me, helpless act is pathetic.

Since: Sep 10

Location hidden

#8 Sep 6, 2011
Detaching with love and "Mind My Own Business" are two Al-Anon principles that work in the case of grown children.
clara

United States

#9 Sep 6, 2011
it is so hard...she has a long list of theft by check and a dwi. I hate to see him suffer.

“Illegitimi non carborundum”

Since: Apr 10

...

#10 Sep 6, 2011
clara wrote:
it is so hard...she has a long list of theft by check and a dwi. I hate to see him suffer.
What if he was just the light in her life needed for her to realize that she had to change her life?

He loves her for a reason, try to figure out what that is and maybe you'll see her in a different light.

Since: Sep 10

Location hidden

#11 Sep 6, 2011
clara wrote:
it is so hard...she has a long list of theft by check and a dwi. I hate to see him suffer.
We have no control other others or their actions. If he chooses to stay, that is up to him, and no one else. Just try not to be an enabler to him. I am sorry you are feeling this pain.
Not Believing This

Arlington, TX

#12 Sep 6, 2011
6Bid wrote:
<quoted text>
We have no control other others or their actions. If he chooses to stay, that is up to him, and no one else. Just try not to be an enabler to him. I am sorry you are feeling this pain.
YOU are giving advice on how not to be an enabler?? You who STILL breast feeds your adult son? LMBO.
Anonymous

United States

#13 Sep 6, 2011
Alot of families are suffering from troubles...stay positive.
the real reason

Paris, TX

#14 Sep 6, 2011
I decided way back there to be a mother -in-law who stays out of her kids business. There have been many times I have wanted to give advice, but since I wasn't asked, I didn't. It has made my relationship with my children a good one. We raise our kids the best we can, then they are on their own. They learn from the mistakes they make, just like we did when we first married.It is hard to "bite ones tongue", but do it. A tongue that wags can cause even worse problems. You raised him. He is an adult. Respect him enough to back off.He will also learn from his mistakes, as we all have done. sign: A great grandmother
sammi jane

Dallas, TX

#15 Sep 6, 2011
mamma you gots no right posting this for the hole world to see. im posting my real name so u know its me. its not jasons fault he loves me and its not my fault i gots an abortion. jason diddnt wants no baby nohow and i loves him to. stay away frum us we dont want no money frum u no moore - sammi jane.
This is what you do

Paris, TX

#16 Sep 6, 2011
clara wrote:
Does anyone else have trouble with their daughter in-law? Please tell me how to get along with a person who is ruining your son's life financially and emotionally? Any advice.
So this is what you do:

1)Harass her on facebook. Watch every entry.
2) Make snyde comments about her looks, her clothes, her housekeeping, her parents, and her life.
3)Have neighbors watch the comings and goings of the home at all hours of the day and night.
4)Call them between four and eight every morning.
5) Act like you don't understand when they are telling you you are over stepping boundaries.
6) Take back all of the gifts that you have given them.

Then one of two things will happen. They will get divorced, or they will divorce you.
This is what you do

Paris, TX

#17 Sep 6, 2011
Maybe they will divorce and divorce you. No matter what, no more problem.
answer

United States

#18 Sep 6, 2011
I'm so blessed,I LOVE my mother in law.One of the best women on earth.

“It's good to be me.”

Since: Aug 11

Location hidden

#19 Sep 6, 2011
clara wrote:
Does anyone else have trouble with their daughter in-law? Please tell me how to get along with a person who is ruining your son's life financially and emotionally? Any advice.
your problem is not with your d-i-l. It's with your son.

That's not gonna be easy to accept, but think it thru.
Oh Really

United States

#20 Sep 6, 2011
clara wrote:
it is so hard...she has a long list of theft by check and a dwi. I hate to see him suffer.
That's his business not for you to judge much less get on a local blog talking behind his back.

He picked her and is staying with her for reasons only known to him.

Butt Out.

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