Forgive an unfaithful spouse

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myexcheated

Paris, TX

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#22
Dec 1, 2012
 

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Some people have personality faults and will eve change. They are hounds and have always been hounds. These are the easy ones to identify. You will never hange one of those types. However, sometimes it is circumstances - you have to make the souse feel wanted. You have to take care of their needs.It isn' too big an assigment and much better than causing them t wonder. If you don't take care of your homework someone will - tht is a fact. Doesn't make it right but neither does withholding sex. My ex cheated with a friend.
you are an ass

Paris, TX

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#24
Dec 1, 2012
 

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What am ass wrote:
<quoted text>
Ever think she may not have anyone to tell to Dr? Typical cheater remarks made by yourself. Maybe you need counseling yourself since obviously blame the wife.
So tired of the poor pitiful victim wife. boo hoo hoo. I know of a couple that are crazy as shit house rats and that's why they can't keep a husband. When you get beat on and have to deal with crazy in the house then you look for relief anyway it comes. The crazy rats need to realize they need to make an effort to change or face the consequences. Thank God they finally got divorced and now the ones I know are happy with their new families and life. The shit house rats are still single and have never had a sucker to date them long.
tradition

Paris, TX

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#25
Dec 1, 2012
 

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myexcheated wrote:
Some people have personality faults and will eve change. They are hounds and have always been hounds. These are the easy ones to identify. You will never hange one of those types. However, sometimes it is circumstances - you have to make the souse feel wanted. You have to take care of their needs.It isn' too big an assigment and much better than causing them t wonder. If you don't take care of your homework someone will - tht is a fact. Doesn't make it right but neither does withholding sex. My ex cheated with a friend.
This is so true. All through my 20's I suffered being married to a sweet wonderful girl, we never argued and I loved her immeasurably and she did me, BUT a lot of the time she would go 30 days without giving me any sex and I got caught cheating on her and she left me and we never could work it out she turned colder than she ever did. I still regret it and love her to this day. I've been married for 17 years to someone else now. Strange, but my first wife was the love of my life.
Charlie Paine

Azle, TX

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#26
Dec 1, 2012
 

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There are two types of women. Those that have been caught cheating or those that haven't been caught yet. I like dating married women because I can take care of business and then send them home to daddy to face all the constant nagging and bs. Poor bastards.
Reality Check

Paris, TX

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#27
Dec 1, 2012
 

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Hard time wrote:
Having a hard time forgiving my spouse that I found out was sleeping with one of my friends. I have let him stay at home due to our children but everytime I look at him I see her face. And it aint good. Any suggestions?
You should have a hard time forgiving your cheating spouse...HE CHEATED!!! The reason you're having a hard time is because it's WRONG! Cheating men are like coyotes & livestock, if they do it once, they will keep doing it, & the only thing left for you to do, is shoot it. Now, I'm not suggesting you shoot anyone, I understand that you want to keep the family together for the children's sake, but honestly, what are you preserving? The family unit obviously has some issues if the patriarch is off playing "house" with someone else. So what are you really trying to say to your kids? I am very sorry that this happened to you, & I'm sure you're in a lot of pain right now, not to mention shock due to him stepping out with your "friend". You have a lot of hard decisions ahead of you, but don't allow your fear of change or being alone send the wrong signal to your children & create a vast amount of resentment & hostility in the house...the kids are going to pick up on this. I wish you * your children all the best.
Bottom line

Paris, TX

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#28
Dec 1, 2012
 

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myexcheated wrote:
Some people have personality faults and will eve change. They are hounds and have always been hounds. These are the easy ones to identify. You will never hange one of those types. However, sometimes it is circumstances - you have to make the souse feel wanted. You have to take care of their needs.It isn' too big an assigment and much better than causing them t wonder. If you don't take care of your homework someone will - tht is a fact. Doesn't make it right but neither does withholding sex. My ex cheated with a friend.
Do you want to have sex with someone who hurts you for fun? Who destroys your relationships with lies?

Sometimes it is a good thing an affair happens. One thing about it, sex is a mutual part of a marriatal relationship. They made a promise to be loyal, the spouse did not make a promise to have sex. Sex is not only optional in a marriage, it is mutual want.

No one wants to have sex out of obligation or fear of an affair, either jerk off, or do without. Have an affair, and risk a divorce.

It's like lying, stealing or anything else. You are putting your sexual needs in front of your spouse, your kids, because you feel entitled, and that is the bottom line.
Bottom line

Paris, TX

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#29
Dec 1, 2012
 
you are an ass wrote:
<quoted text>
So tired of the poor pitiful victim wife. boo hoo hoo. I know of a couple that are crazy as shit house rats and that's why they can't keep a husband. When you get beat on and have to deal with crazy in the house then you look for relief anyway it comes. The crazy rats need to realize they need to make an effort to change or face the consequences. Thank God they finally got divorced and now the ones I know are happy with their new families and life. The shit house rats are still single and have never had a sucker to date them long.
There are men and women who are both that way. Changing someone is not an option. You either deal with them, or you decide you don't want to. I personally choose to do it honestly. Some men drink or use drugs so much, they can't get it up without porn, or putting a new hen in the house, and maybe can't deal with their aging spouse....then blame it on them for their being unattractive, even if they are thin and fit.

Everyone has to blame...they sure aren't going to tell you they can't get it up anymore without some sort of external something. They will just blame it on the spouse.
Personally

Paris, TX

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#30
Dec 1, 2012
 

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If they can't get it up without porn, or affairs, and then come home to me expecting some, they aren't going to get anything other than a divorce. JMO.

I'm not changing me to suit their erection by getting new boobs, facelift or porn. I didn't agree to that in marriage vows....

Maybe the wedding vows need to change to suit some men. LOL
Exwife

Dallas, TX

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#31
Dec 1, 2012
 

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Personally wrote:
If they can't get it up without porn, or affairs, and then come home to me expecting some, they aren't going to get anything other than a divorce. JMO.
I'm not changing me to suit their erection by getting new boobs, facelift or porn. I didn't agree to that in marriage vows....
Maybe the wedding vows need to change to suit some men. LOL
It is about being a best friend and a partner for life. Sex is only a very small part of it. Sex without being best friends is worthless. I married someone, who turned out was not my best friend, and quickly discovered I had made a huge mistake. I divorced him and reunited with the guy that I dated years ago, but had always been my best friend. No I never cheated on my ex-husband. I think he cheated on me but it really didn't matter. The connection just wasn't there. That was five years ago and I am happily married today and made the correct decision.
Personally

Paris, TX

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#32
Dec 1, 2012
 

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Well, even the best friend thing can change if lies and affairs interfere.

I think something does happen the first time Mr. Willie doesn't work, then it works well with around a new hen.

But lies and affairs can destroy friendships. If they feel so bad about it that they turn around and start blaming it on you (their erectile dysfunction, their affair, saying you are having affairs, well, that is just not something you can fix)
Ha Ha

Paris, TX

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#34
Dec 1, 2012
 

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Personally wrote:
If they can't get it up without porn, or affairs, and then come home to me expecting some, they aren't going to get anything other than a divorce. JMO.
I'm not changing me to suit their erection by getting new boobs, facelift or porn. I didn't agree to that in marriage vows....
Maybe the wedding vows need to change to suit some men. LOL
Instead of promising to love, honor and cherish, it could be to give it up 6 out of 7 days, BJ's when out of commission 6 out of 7 days a week, and listen to BS, and never nag...till death do us part.

That is what is expected. If that is what was promised then most women would think twice about getting married in the first place. LOL.
Affairs

Paris, TX

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#35
Dec 2, 2012
 
Affairs are for weak minded men who cheat with women of low morals. Vows should be honored. Adultery and fortification should not be acceptable any society and by any spouse. Men who cheat risk to cost not only of divorce but of his wife doing the same thing. If you ain't keeping her happy somebody else just might.
JMO

Paris, TX

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#36
Dec 2, 2012
 
Women "paying" back men who are unfaithful, are just as bad. The Bible does not say anything about paying back and unfaithful spouse with unfaithfulness. If they do, they are just as immoral.

If karma worked, they would have to live with who they cheated with plus become impotent.

But unfortunately it doesn't work that way in the real world.
JMO

Paris, TX

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#37
Dec 2, 2012
 
Ethically speaking, an eye for an eye and we would all be blind. Asking for forgiveness instead of covering the lie would be helpful in truth though.

You can't work through what is wrong if everyone is hiding and lying, but then again most just want what is good for them, and what looks good for them.

After a while you learn that and move on to greener pastures.
your words

Paris, TX

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#38
Dec 2, 2012
 

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tradition wrote:
<quoted text>
This is so true. All through my 20's I suffered being married to a sweet wonderful girl, we never argued and I loved her immeasurably and she did me, BUT a lot of the time she would go 30 days without giving me any sex and I got caught cheating on her and she left me and we never could work it out she turned colder than she ever did. I still regret it and love her to this day. I've been married for 17 years to someone else now. Strange, but my first wife was the love of my life.
maybe there was reason she did not have sex often, there are medical reasons that many women experience pain during it. No-one should have an affair due to sex. That is typical male excuse. Did you think thatcounseling might would have helped. Strangely, you said it yourself, she was the love of your life. I feel sorry for your second wife because in your eyes she is second. Hopefully, she doesn't know it. And hopefully you don't cheat on her.
wait

Paris, TX

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#39
Dec 3, 2012
 

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Affairs wrote:
Affairs are for weak minded men who cheat with women of low morals. Vows should be honored. Adultery and fortification should not be acceptable any society and by any spouse. Men who cheat risk to cost not only of divorce but of his wife doing the same thing. If you ain't keeping her happy somebody else just might.
Why are you singling out men? There are as many women that do it too. Even the wives of the cheating men are going on and having affairs before the divorce so get off your one sided soap box.
Not really

United States

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#40
Dec 3, 2012
 

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For every cheating man there is a woman laying right next to him so it is done equally among the sexes Cheat on me and I will send you a text photo of me banging your best friend long distance And know there's no forgiving don't even try and contact me my attorney will have you served
Joanna

Paris, TX

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#41
Dec 3, 2012
 

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Stay away from men in retail sales. Every salesman and sales manager type cheats. I was married to one and dated several and all of them are cheaters.
Do not

Paris, TX

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#42
Dec 3, 2012
 
I do not understand why a woman would even want to cheat with a married man. She has to know he is a cheater, if he cheats with you then he will cheat on you.
Blonde

Paris, TX

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#43
Dec 3, 2012
 

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The bottom line is cheating is not right! When a man or woman is cheating on each other they need to think about who all that person has been with. Because your basically sleeping with who all they have slept with. And you dont know what kind of diseases they have that they are not telling you about. And how can sex for 15 or 20 minutes be worth breaking up a home or getting something you cant get rid of? Next time people are cheating think of the kids that are going to have there family broken up because of something stupid someone had done and got caught. Its not all about you. Its also about the kids. There's alot more at steak than just getting you some or having a fling for a month or two.

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