Forgive an unfaithful spouse

Forgive an unfaithful spouse

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Hard time

Plano, TX

#1 Nov 29, 2012
Having a hard time forgiving my spouse that I found out was sleeping with one of my friends. I have let him stay at home due to our children but everytime I look at him I see her face. And it aint good. Any suggestions?
suggest

Paris, TX

#2 Nov 29, 2012
Hard time wrote:
Having a hard time forgiving my spouse that I found out was sleeping with one of my friends. I have let him stay at home due to our children but everytime I look at him I see her face. And it aint good. Any suggestions?
You see a woman's face? Well then just dress him up in one of your dresses and y'all can have a girl's night out and talk about it.
Radit

Austin, TX

#3 Nov 29, 2012
Hard time wrote:
Having a hard time forgiving my spouse that I found out was sleeping with one of my friends. I have let him stay at home due to our children but everytime I look at him I see her face. And it aint good. Any suggestions?
Its a hard road. My wife and I went through that a few years ago. For the most part we are past it, but it took a long time. Sometimes I still worry that it is happening, but I have decided that if it is, I will find out. In some ways our relationship is stronger though. We were having issues before this happened (I worked ALOT and she was a stay at home mother). Try taking a break from the relationship and see where that gets you. Maybe go on a minication without the spouse. Whatever you decide-best of luck.

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Revenge

Paris, TX

#4 Nov 29, 2012
Do the same to him!! That is what he deserves! And as for your friend. She is a trash and doesn't deserve your thoughts.

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Radit

Austin, TX

#5 Nov 29, 2012
Revenge wrote:
Do the same to him!! That is what he deserves! And as for your friend. She is a trash and doesn't deserve your thoughts.
Don't do the same to him. Atleast not if you want it to work. The spouse is just as much at fault as the friend. That being said: Cut the friend.
Apryl

Paris, TX

#6 Nov 29, 2012
My boyfriend was trying to cheat on me before we got married. I forgave him and we got married. He started carrying two cell phones. he said one was his work phone. Finally caught him cheating on me. After some time I forgave him again. 18 months later I caught him with another woman. I left. Once a cheater always a cheater. It just might take some time to catch him. Seems like they get smarter every time about covering it up.
Radit

Austin, TX

#7 Nov 29, 2012
Apryl wrote:
My boyfriend was trying to cheat on me before we got married. I forgave him and we got married. He started carrying two cell phones. he said one was his work phone. Finally caught him cheating on me. After some time I forgave him again. 18 months later I caught him with another woman. I left. Once a cheater always a cheater. It just might take some time to catch him. Seems like they get smarter every time about covering it up.
meh thats depressing. Not that I am the original OP but do you think there was a root cause to why he cheated? I believe with mine my wife felt negelected. Hoping thats all it was and I have tried very hard to make sure she does not feel that way again.

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Personal choice

Paris, TX

#8 Nov 29, 2012
Forgive the affair, forget the husband, and move on down the road.

Two wrongs won't make a right, and you will want to make the spouse pay for the pain and suffering caused...everyday of their life. Which will make you both miserable.

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With love

Atlanta, TX

#9 Nov 29, 2012
My spouse cheated on me within 2 years of our marriage. It was a difficult time but we worked through it and with forgiveness and hard work ( yes, work) we have a wonderful loving family, grown children, grand kids, comfortable home, good life. Now days, divorce is a quick, easy way out. Marriage takes work. But worth the time and effort.
lovestoread

Bristow, OK

#10 Nov 29, 2012
My husband left me several years ago. He had an affair....wanted a divorce. It was hard for me to trust another man, but I am remarried. We started having trouble after we stopped going to church. Now that I am remarried..we are staying in church. My advice is to take it to the Lord. He will direct your path!
Tammy

Paris, TX

#12 Nov 30, 2012
My ex-husband cheated on his first wife. After we met, he told me about it and convinced me that he made a mistake and it woldn't happen again. Things were great for about the first year and a half of our marriage then I got a funny feeling. After about 2 months of keeping tabs on him sure enough he washaving an affair. I walked away. I was told before I married him that he was a cheater but I thought he had changed. Proved once a cheater always a cheater. Lesson learned on my part.

Since: Sep 10

Location hidden

#13 Nov 30, 2012
Radit wrote:
<quoted text>
Don't do the same to him. Atleast not if you want it to work. The spouse is just as much at fault as the friend. That being said: Cut the friend.
Agree.
Oh yeah

Paris, TX

#14 Nov 30, 2012
It's a circumstantial thing. If they took responsibility for it, and worked out issues it would be one thing.

If they denied it to the end, despite the evidence, blamed the affair on you, tried to make your life difficult, or started blaming you for having affairs, then one can safely assume, there was nothing there to begin with, and there will never be trust, because they are looking for the payback.
bouttime

Paris, TX

#15 Nov 30, 2012
my ex husband cheated on his first ex wife numerous times and beat her, and then he cheated on his second ex wife with a neighbour and a coworker that was straight trash and beat her, needless to say when I married him I had no idea about his "probelm" ,his fling continued to run her mouth around town and made it known he was cheating on me with her,I got out real fast THANK GOD!. Come to find out thats who hes messing with still and he has a gf that works at a local dept.store I really feel sorry for the new gf she has no idea what shes gettin herself into. lesson learned: go talk to all the ex wives and figure out the real story on why they divorced before you marry someone
Generally

Paris, TX

#16 Nov 30, 2012
Nah, they are just angry and give a biased account much of the time.

If someone was to ask me about my ex husband, I would probably tell them he was a GREAT guy, so that he would be occupied with someone else and leave the kids and I alone.

Just watch behaviors. That will tell you all you need to know.
Dr Phil

Paris, TX

#17 Nov 30, 2012
Hard time wrote:
Having a hard time forgiving my spouse that I found out was sleeping with one of my friends. I have let him stay at home due to our children but everytime I look at him I see her face. And it aint good. Any suggestions?
So come to topix for advice........how's that workin for ya? I have a suggestion, come on my show and I will humiliate both of you in front of millions. See, the thing is.... the problem may lie with you or he wouldn't be lookin'. Maybe it's time for some body work, attitude adjustments and quit yer bitchin time. Now when can I book you two?
ALways Cheaters

Irving, TX

#18 Nov 30, 2012
Oh yeah wrote:
It's a circumstantial thing. If they took responsibility for it, and worked out issues it would be one thing.
If they denied it to the end, despite the evidence, blamed the affair on you, tried to make your life difficult, or started blaming you for having affairs, then one can safely assume, there was nothing there to begin with, and there will never be trust, because they are looking for the payback.
Mine took responsibility for cheating on his ex and promissed it wouldn't happen again. It didn't for almost two years then it was right back to the same ole cheating. Cheaters will always be cheaters.
David

Paris, TX

#19 Nov 30, 2012
My sister married a guy who had been caught by his ex live-in cheating. He said he was sorry and that it only happened because his ex wasn't satisfying him. I told my sister not to marry him but she said it was a one time thing. She married him and he would go to work and come home and sit and drink beer. She said that he wouldn't cheat on her though. A little over a year into the marraige she accidently read one of his work emails and he was sleeping with a co-worker. She divorced him and told me that I was right about him all along. Leopards never lose their stripes. It is a fact.
Generally

Paris, TX

#20 Nov 30, 2012
Dr Phil wrote:
<quoted text>
So come to topix for advice........how's that workin for ya? I have a suggestion, come on my show and I will humiliate both of you in front of millions. See, the thing is.... the problem may lie with you or he wouldn't be lookin'. Maybe it's time for some body work, attitude adjustments and quit yer bitchin time. Now when can I book you two?
You actually watch Dr. Phil...and you are griping about topix?

It's one thing topix has that Dr. Phil don't. Privacy. Anon is a good thing. Not everyone wants their business out there, but talking it out with people you don't know does help. You might not agree, but it will help polarize your own opinion.
What am ass

Paris, TX

#21 Nov 30, 2012
Dr Phil wrote:
<quoted text>
So come to topix for advice........how's that workin for ya? I have a suggestion, come on my show and I will humiliate both of you in front of millions. See, the thing is.... the problem may lie with you or he wouldn't be lookin'. Maybe it's time for some body work, attitude adjustments and quit yer bitchin time. Now when can I book you two?
Ever think she may not have anyone to tell to Dr? Typical cheater remarks made by yourself. Maybe you need counseling yourself since obviously blame the wife.

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