Da Nite Befo Christmas
Posted in the Paris Forum
#1 Dec 4, 2012
Wuz da nite befo Crimmus
An’ all ower de hood;
Ereybody wuz’ sleepin’;
Dey wuz sleepin’ good.
We hunged up our stockings
An hoped like de’ heck
Dat ol’ Sanna Claws
Be bringin’ ar check.
All o’ de fambly
Wuz layin in de beds,
Whilst Ripple and Thunderbird
Dance tru’ dey heads.
I passed out inna’ flo
Right nex to my Maw;
When I herd sech a fuss,
I thunk,“It mus be da Law!”
I looked out thru da bars
What covered my do’,
’Spectin da sheriff
Wif a warrent fo’ sho.
And what did I see,
I said,“Lawd, look at dat!”
They was a huge watta’ melon,
Pulled by giant warf rats!
Now ober all de years
Sanna Claws, he be white;
But looks liken us bros
Gets a black Sanna dis nite.
Faster dan a po’lees car,
My homeboy he came;
He wupped on dem warf rats,
An’ called dem by name!
“On Leroy, on ’Lonzo,
And on Willie Lee,
On Sapphire, on Chenequa,”
Dey wuz a site to see!
As he landed dat watta’mellon
Out der in da skreet,
I knowed it was fo’ sho’
Da damdest site I ebber did see.
He didn’t go down no chimbley,
He picked da’ lock on my do’;
An’ I sez to mysef,
“Shit! He done dis befo’!”
He had dis big bag,
Full of presents I ’spect;
Wid Air Jordans and fake gold
To wear roun’ my neck.
But he left no good prezents,
Jus’ started steelin’ my shit;
Got my drugs, got my guns,
Even got my burglar’s kit!
Wit my stuff in da bag,
Out da winda he flewed;
I woudda’ tried to catched him,
But he stoled my ’nife too!
He jumped on dat wadda’mellon,
An’ wipped out a switch;
He wuz gone in a seccon’,
Dat son of a bitch!
Next year I be hopin’
Anutha Sanna we git,
’Cuz diz here Sanna Claws
Jus’ ain’t werf a shit!
#2 Dec 5, 2012
#3 Dec 5, 2012
#4 Dec 5, 2012
They wants a white sanna claws. lol
#5 Dec 5, 2012
#6 Dec 5, 2012
twas dat der natfer Jesus Christmas
and me and mines twer sleepun in our double wide with the rock under pinun
When allz ruckus bustedloose
If it twernt melba and manaryd sippin in that hooch.
dar she was standing fat and smellin sour
while manaryd himself needed a shower.
I spokedted up and sez whats tha dang burn hells goin on here
and melba raised her fat arm anna says Happy New year... as da foul smell of dead rot flang from her pit of funk abyss.
Ida swore her underarms just took a shiiit
Granny mae hollered out in such anger
and says damn women you smell like your uncles phuck fanger.
manaryd spoke up slurd in words and says yea she smell like hot terds.
#7 Dec 5, 2012
Hey stupid only blacks say me and mines. You're not even funny or original. I know you want to be a smart, white person like the one that started this thread, but you are just dumb.
#8 Dec 6, 2012
#9 Dec 6, 2012
This proves how pathetic and dumb u are I guess u really were tired of school because only a dumbass like u talks like that
#10 Dec 6, 2012
You're dumb as hell. Guess u flunked the writing part of the test, lmbao!!
#11 Dec 6, 2012
You need to do a lot more than posting on Topix if you want LYBAO. Just laughing ain't gonna cut it, Hon. You need to get up and walk, run, or go work out in a fitness center. Stop eating those moon pies too. Switch from that Big Orange to Diet Coke or Diet Pepsi.
#12 Dec 6, 2012
Plz believe I lmbao everyday looking at u honkys at work ans in the gym. Oh yeah when I'm shopping too lmbao again at u cowards
#13 Dec 6, 2012
There was a black woman on Ebay a few years back selling her crappy clothes and guess what her user name was? Big ass pits and she didn't have any dogs. Why don't y'all shave that mess?
#14 Dec 6, 2012
Yo azz is wayyyyy to big for you to laugh off. You need to realize it ain't working and try something else. there is nothing more disgusting than seeing a flabby black azz rolling over the sides of a motorized shopping cart. But, I will have to say it curbs whites from impulse buying in the grocery section. I mean, after seeing that you lose your appetite real fast. So, in a way, you are repaying mankind for supporting yo azz. thanks!
#15 Dec 6, 2012
white folk say: fer meaning for
Black folk say: fo meaning for
white folk say:sho lizz meaning it sure is
black folk say: sho nuff meaning it sure is
white folk: i reckon meaning i suppose so
black folk: aight meaing alright
white folk: whatina hell meaing what in the hell
black folk say: whata hell meaning what in the hell
white folk: fellers meaning fellow
black folk: fellas meaning fellow
white folk: mama an nim meaning mama and them
black folk: momz and dim meaning mom and them
white folk: tricity meaning electricity
black folk; twicity meaning electricity
white folk: em ner meaning them there
black folk: dat dur meaning that there
white folk: twernt meaning that was not
black folk: taint meaning it is not
white folk: boat dim boys meaning both of them boys
black folk: boff fubum meaning both of them
I can go on and on. you white people and black people here in Paris just crack me up. Ive been here for a while now and all this finger pointing as to who is the dumbest race is just mind blowing in this small poorly educated town. you dont realize how foolish either of you look to us big timin city boyz from up der state, why hell i gotsta gets mines. what a joke!!!! haa haaa. i guess you two have to do something.the one thing that Topics will do for a city, it will draw in some of its worst.
#16 Dec 7, 2012
#17 Dec 7, 2012
haha . And right here you are! You sound like you're from Blosson or Cooper.
#18 Dec 8, 2012
Merry White Fugging Crismas
Twer ther nite befour crismas
En I wuz in bed wif ma mother
Ma brothur Billy Bob and ma sister Katy Jean
Wuz fugging one another
My pa comes in tha trailer frum fugging tha goat
Uncle Sketter and my granma
Wuz fugging on tha crismas float
I herd sum running in tha kitchin
En saw ma uncle Chicken wit a shotgun
He Beat Ant Jenny en her head en we all laffed
Twert nothing but us having sum redneck fun
Then we herd sum banging commin frum tha outhouse
We went out yonder en whut do we see
It was ma ol drunk grandpa
Trying to fugg a mouse
Tha wisky wuz a poreing
Lik it wuz ever day
Cousin Pear wuz stareing at a chickin
En so wuz Cousin Jimmy Ray
They wuz thankin en thankin bout tha chickin
En Wut to do wit it
They put it en a skillit en wuz about ta pluck it
But they changed thar minds en decided to fugg it
Aftr they wuz done we put it en tha sink
En wiped it wif newspaper so it wouldnt stink
We gobbld down tha chickin
Ma Pa Skitter Jimmy Ray en me
Thin all er us fugged each other
Unnerneth tha crismas tree
Ya better watch out en dont yu fret
This is as gud as it gits fer a redneck
#19 Dec 8, 2012
Man I should be so lucky.
Oh well, nothing wrong with whisky I suppose...
#20 Dec 9, 2012
Hey there, Jim BOY!
You stayed up all night and this was the best you could come up with? lol
You got one thing on that slutty mind of yours and you proved what that was! haha
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