Interracial dating with teens. How to...

Interracial dating with teens. How to prevent it.

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Curious

Paris, TX

#1 Feb 2, 2009
How would you discourage a teenage girl from dating out side of there own race?

Since: Nov 08

Paris, TX

#2 Feb 2, 2009
Curious wrote:
How would you discourage a teenage girl from dating out side of there own race?
That's a touchy subject... My sons were told that I preferred Indian to keep the blood going but would accept white, one of my boys said OK but he wasn't going to marry a Choctaw girl!(we have Choctaw and Cherokee blood)You need to talk with her and say how you feel about it. By the way, I got no Indian D-I-L out of the deal...:(

“Sleep eludes me.”

Since: Aug 08

Location hidden

#3 Feb 2, 2009
As long as the boy she is dating is treating her well and being respectful, I wouldn't discourage it at all.
Don't make it about skin color. Make it about how your daughter is being treated by the young man she is interested in.
In reality, she is going to date many guys throughout her teenage years. She will use those a guidlines for what she likes and doesn't like in a man to get serious with. I would focus on making sure she is treated right.
reality

Paris, TX

#4 Feb 2, 2009
Curious wrote:
How would you discourage a teenage girl from dating out side of there own race?
You don't. You should encourage her to choose the PERSON who makes her happy. From the time she's small you should teach her the values you want her to live by. Maybe, just maybe she'll look for those values in the person she chooses to date.
reality

Paris, TX

#5 Feb 2, 2009
Itlldo wrote:
As long as the boy she is dating is treating her well and being respectful, I wouldn't discourage it at all.
Don't make it about skin color. Make it about how your daughter is being treated by the young man she is interested in.
In reality, she is going to date many guys throughout her teenage years. She will use those a guidlines for what she likes and doesn't like in a man to get serious with. I would focus on making sure she is treated right.
I agree
Curious

Paris, TX

#6 Feb 2, 2009
She has confidence issues, her "friends" have convinced her no one will ever go out with her so at a very early age she has learned to take what she can get. Way too early to settle.

By the way I am a friend of the family, not closely involved but was asked to help.
OMG

College Station, TX

#7 Feb 2, 2009
If the person she cares for and is attracted to is of another race, why would you discourage her from dating them? Is because of the shame YOU would feel? I am not bashing on you, I am just curious. Most people that I know who do discourage their kids from dating outside their own race(this goes for blacks, whites, and hispanics) do it because of some of their own thoughts or feelings toward that particular rae. Some who are of "pure" bloodlines do prefer to keep it that way. I know many of my Jewish friends, especially those who are decendants of Holocaust survivors, are expected to keep that bloodline Jewish. Not only for the future children but for the person of another race/culture who would be trying to fit in to that family. As a child of mixed race (white/hispanic) I have been in Lamar County most of my life, and have never been treated badly because of my "race". I just hope that you can consider that the person of another race that you teen is interested in, may love her more and treat her better than anyone of her own race ever will. I grew up with friends of all races from the time I was young, and that may have been because my parents had friends of all races, but I wouldn't trade them for anything and I would be fighting mad if they were shunned because of their race but I would TRY to understand the whole situation and the feelings of the parents.

I will keep my finger crossed that you make a carefully thought on decision on the subject. And good luck getting your teen to always do what YOU want them to.
reality

Paris, TX

#8 Feb 2, 2009
Curious wrote:
She has confidence issues, her "friends" have convinced her no one will ever go out with her so at a very early age she has learned to take what she can get. Way too early to settle.
By the way I am a friend of the family, not closely involved but was asked to help.
You're kidding, RIGHT? This has to be the most ridiculous thing I've seen. If she's convinced no one will go out with her, what does race have to do with it. If no self-respecting guy in her race wants her, what makes you think any other race would? Does she have loads of money? Y'all get worse everyday. All of you go to counseling and take the girl with you.
reality

Paris, TX

#9 Feb 2, 2009
Curious wrote:
She has confidence issues, her "friends" have convinced her no one will ever go out with her so at a very early age she has learned to take what she can get. Way too early to settle.
By the way I am a friend of the family, not closely involved but was asked to help.
Besides at a very early age her parents should have been helping her build confidence in herself.

Since: Nov 08

Paris, TX

#10 Feb 2, 2009
Curious wrote:
She has confidence issues, her "friends" have convinced her no one will ever go out with her so at a very early age she has learned to take what she can get. Way too early to settle.
By the way I am a friend of the family, not closely involved but was asked to help.
They don't sound like the friends she needs to have around, can she not be taken somewhere to get a makeover, it does wonders for the psychological outlook.
Go away

Paris, TX

#11 Feb 2, 2009
reality wrote:
<quoted text>You're kidding, RIGHT? This has to be the most ridiculous thing I've seen. If she's convinced no one will go out with her, what does race have to do with it. If no self-respecting guy in her race wants her, what makes you think any other race would? Does she have loads of money? Y'all get worse everyday. All of you go to counseling and take the girl with you.
Thank you in advance for keeping your lame ass opinions to yourself. Now, go away....
pissedinannona

Lone Star, TX

#12 Feb 2, 2009
Your kidding right?
scarlett

Paris, TX

#13 Feb 2, 2009
reality wrote:
<quoted text>Besides at a very early age her parents should have been helping her build confidence in herself.
To a young teen the opinions of his/her friends or peers matter more than that of the people who love them. That is just how it is at that age.
Some children that are treated this way in school often end up with serious issues..
reality

Paris, TX

#14 Feb 2, 2009
Go away wrote:
<quoted text>Thank you in advance for keeping your lame ass opinions to yourself. Now, go away....
It's the truth. You post that she's convinced no body would want her,(which is wrong I've always heard there's someone for everyone) then go on about her dating someone out of her race. Blame the one that put that outragious post on here. Quit low rating other races by acting like they'll take anything. If the person that is responsible for the post, were really a family friend she wouldn't have posted it. She'd be too busy helping build the girls self confidence to even think about race.
reality

Paris, TX

#15 Feb 2, 2009
scarlett wrote:
<quoted text>
To a young teen the opinions of his/her friends or peers matter more than that of the people who love them. That is just how it is at that age.
Some children that are treated this way in school often end up with serious issues..
I know that. It's not a racial issue. The girl should be getting counseling, her parents should be complimenting her every chance they get. Doing things to build her confidence rather than thinking about race. Do something that will help the girl grow into a confident young lady.
If these

Paris, TX

#16 Feb 2, 2009
reality wrote:
<quoted text>I know that. It's not a racial issue. The girl should be getting counseling, her parents should be complimenting her every chance they get. Doing things to build her confidence rather than thinking about race. Do something that will help the girl grow into a confident young lady.
If these things would have been done this topic would not exist.
reality

Paris, TX

#17 Feb 2, 2009
scarlett wrote:
<quoted text>
To a young teen the opinions of his/her friends or peers matter more than that of the people who love them. That is just how it is at that age.
Some children that are treated this way in school often end up with serious issues..
The title for this topic should have been, How Can I Help Build My Daughter's Self Confidence. That's what both the mother and the friend should be worried about.
Huh

Paris, TX

#18 Feb 2, 2009
reality wrote:
<quoted text>I know that. It's not a racial issue. The girl should be getting counseling, her parents should be complimenting her every chance they get. Doing things to build her confidence rather than thinking about race. Do something that will help the girl grow into a confident young lady.
So if someone wants to date outside of there race they need counseling? You sound like a racist.
a mother

Paris, TX

#19 Feb 2, 2009
hellooooo!!! Anybody out there!!!! Come on! Telling a child to choose who/what makes them happy?!! I don't think so. There's nothing wrong with parameters. That's like (and I know there are parents out there that think this way), oh, you don't want to go to college...just drop out now! STUPID. Children have parents to guide them. I don't mind telling you that I tell my kids to stay with their race---not because of me but because of future kids that must be ridiculed. I also tell them---I will not accept homosexuality.(Controversial, I know.) I also tell them---College, College, College.

Also, before we go any further....if they chose these things....of course I would deal with it because my children's happiness is the most important thing to me. But, if I didn't give them guidance----what if they chose the goat? I think expressing your views and explaining to kids why you feel the way you do....they will go in that direction more likely than if you never told them at all.

BUT MAIN STORY IS THIS----KIDS NEED REAL PARENTS FOR THE TOUGH STUFF. CHILDREN DO NOT NEED FOR THEIR PARENTS TO BE THEIR FRIENDS.

Since: Sep 08

Location hidden

#20 Feb 2, 2009
a mother wrote:
hellooooo!!! Anybody out there!!!! Come on! Telling a child to choose who/what makes them happy?!! I don't think so. There's nothing wrong with parameters. That's like (and I know there are parents out there that think this way), oh, you don't want to go to college...just drop out now! STUPID. Children have parents to guide them. I don't mind telling you that I tell my kids to stay with their race---not because of me but because of future kids that must be ridiculed. I also tell them---I will not accept homosexuality.(Controversial, I know.) I also tell them---College, College, College.
Also, before we go any further....if they chose these things....of course I would deal with it because my children's happiness is the most important thing to me. But, if I didn't give them guidance----what if they chose the goat? I think expressing your views and explaining to kids why you feel the way you do....they will go in that direction more likely than if you never told them at all.
BUT MAIN STORY IS THIS----KIDS NEED REAL PARENTS FOR THE TOUGH STUFF. CHILDREN DO NOT NEED FOR THEIR PARENTS TO BE THEIR FRIENDS.
'SO so TRUE

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