Here's another word that I own...."You".
...that one's in the Webster's Dictionary as well.
Try to be more creative. See...when I look at you I envision an uptight, angry, spittle spraying piece of work who needs this as one of his only form of social interaction given the clerk at the local 'LIQUOR STOP' probably hides under the counter until you're gone when you're seeking out your nightly case of Coors Light.
So in turn I'd call you a lonely angrified table pounder.
'Angrified'...I like that.