Dinosaurs Were Made Up By The CIA To ...

Dinosaurs Were Made Up By The CIA To Discourage Time Travel

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the real story

Salyersville, KY

#1 Jan 27, 2010
* Sometimes, the government lies. NO DUH!!!
* Elvis is alive and well in Utah.
* Elvis is now a Mormon.
* Ghengis Khan is now in control of much of Asia and Eastern Europe.
* America is, in fact, on the moon(think about it, have you ever been there?).
* Dinosaurs aren't extinct, they're just hiding.
* ROSWELL. WAS. REAL. I mean, really, a weather balloon? Fiddle dee-dee. Next thing you know, they'll say cigarettes are good for you.
* That is actually both here and there.( and everywhere)

[edit] United States government
In the distant future, President Bush will in fact become a zombie.

* Former president Bill Clinton wore Hillary Clinton's pink shirt and black suit in public on more than one occassion.
* Ann Coulter wears a size 3 man's shoe
* You are being anal probed by aliens AND Airport Security. Damn Perverts!
* Since aliens are GREAT at anal probing people, the Dept. of Homeland Security has hired them to be the security guys that get to anal probe YOU and ME. Damn Perverts!
* Shaft was based upon War and Peace.
* Black people have feelings, too.
* The United States actually lost in The Revolutionary War.
* Income tax rates will be raised to 80% in 2010.
* The President makes all his decisions using a Magic 8-Ball. This is less scary than if he made decisions on his own.
* The Surgeon General determined that being patriotic can be hazardous to your health.
* Oprah Winfrey has been captured, and news of her capture will not be publicly revealed until prior to the next election.
* Soup kitchens do reduce the number of starving homeless on the streets.
* Dydney in all...is a cult that is starting with you children....
* Due to a loophole, slavery is legal in states that didn't exist in 1865.
* Donating half your money to Congress does not get you into Heaven when you die, despite their advertisement claiming such.
* Puerto Rico is a state, the govenment just says it isn't because the flag would look dumb with fifty-one stars.

* One of the former Presidents was a frog. But which one? Figure it out.
* God adamantly refuses to bless the USA.
* Everyone who wrote the Constitution was stoned, drunk, or both at the time.
* Freedom fries have little to do with freedom.
* It's the Air Force that fights in the sea and the Navy that fights in the air, not the other way around.
* The Supreme Court is the same thing as a regular court, except that it has tomatoes and sour cream.
* Whoever buys the most flags does not win.
* In order to pay off the National Debt, the United States sold New York to Russia.
the real story

Salyersville, KY

#2 Jan 27, 2010
# selection of real life cheat codes exists.
# The truth is out there.
# Voting results are determined by mind control devices. Bush re-elected in `04? Think about it. why should i?
# The crime rate in an anarchy is zero.
* Alcohol does NOT make you more attractive
* Alcohol does NOT make you more cool
* Alcohol does NOT make you live longer
* The tax on alcohol DOES cancel out the social welfare budget

The book 1984 was non-fiction.
# Thunderstorms are actually Space Navy battles.
# A German scientist invented a cure for cancer, but refuses to give it to the United States for as long as he dislikes the President.
# The "illegal immigrants problem" was made up to make you think that anyone would want to enter this shithole of a country.
# The quantity of wood that a woodchuck could chuck has long been known, but the CIA covers it up.
# Video games did not cause 9/11.
# George W. Bush's favourite book is Brave New World, and he is actually a Cylon.
# The pope is animatronic.
# It's safer to drive on the left side of the road.
Spaced Out

United States

#3 Jan 27, 2010
The first dinosaur was discovered in 1822, the CIA began in 1947.
the real story

Salyersville, KY

#4 Jan 27, 2010
Spaced Out wrote:
The first dinosaur was discovered in 1822, the CIA began in 1947.
You just proved my point exactly. The CIA was formed in 1947 then invented a time machine. It fell in the wrong hands so the CIA made another time machine, went back into time to 1822, made up dinosaurs so that in the future it would discourage the CIA to not invent a time machine. It is very simple. Do oyu understand?
THAT guy

Chattanooga, TN

#5 Feb 19, 2010
the real story wrote:
<quoted text>You just proved my point exactly. The CIA was formed in 1947 then invented a time machine. It fell in the wrong hands so the CIA made another time machine, went back into time to 1822, made up dinosaurs so that in the future it would discourage the CIA to not invent a time machine. It is very simple. Do oyu understand?
but by preventing themselves from creating a time machine, they could never have invented dinousaurs to prevent themselves from creating a time machine, so they WOULD create a time machine and dinosaurs wouldnt exist
peggy elaine

Covina, CA

#6 Feb 19, 2010
It's nice to find something to laugh about on Topix.

Betsy Layne, KY

#7 Feb 19, 2010
Alcohol doesn't make you more attractive.. but it sure helps with what you brought home the night before.Oh and bush is a zombie.
Quad omega

San Antonio, TX

#8 Mar 2, 2010
Look up. You should see 5 cameras looking at you, if not, call a doctor.
Quad omega

San Antonio, TX

#9 Mar 2, 2010
Basically, it is split in half between the two dimensions, one where there is a dinosaur, and one where there is not a dinosaur, what determines it is what the creator is thinking about because everything starts out as an idea. Think about it.
Quad omega

San Antonio, TX

#10 Mar 2, 2010
The cia also have a listening instrument called eshwah and they really do listen in on phone calls, just not all of them.

Germantown, MD

#11 Apr 9, 2010
hahahahaha I love the stuff that pops up on google

United States

#12 Apr 9, 2010
i KNEW bush was a zombie.
and im pretty sure he got that way
by getting bitten by a male prostiture.

Palestinian Territory

#13 Jul 1, 2010
that's very funny, BUT if you want to be suspicious and dont believe everything you hear and dont take shit for granted YOU should do that for the RIGHT STUFF, the things thats worth it ! like ... Iraq had Nuclear missiles and other nonsense crap that was never actually found on real world!

thanks and good bye.
Egbert Wikitiki

Long Beach, CA

#14 Jul 25, 2010
I heard that Marky Mark was actually J. Edgar Hoover after a botched sex change.

Boise, ID

#15 Sep 21, 2010
Anal probing at airports, is done so that they can collect a sample of your DNA. The DNA samples are then stored just in case (the zombie president bush) decides to bite others and cause a mass termination of the human population. once the zombie invasion is terminated they clone your previously stored DNA. once again rejuvenating the human population.

Statesville, NC

#16 Nov 5, 2010
The CIA did none of these things....it was either russia or Chuck Norris...( i personally believe it was Mr. Norris)

Canberra, Australia

#17 Nov 15, 2010
But the problem with the government storing your DNA Is that when they regenerate people, the chances that you're not dead is rather high, and your clone will take over you life, and By life I Mean everything! Friends, fsmily, Job, Etc, so they have to keep a proper count of who's dead, and who's not, but on order to do that they must go back in time and record the exact time you were eaten so they can regenerate your clone without anyone becoming suspicious. Another thing that people fail to notice about the government is that in australia, we are slowly being brainwashed into thinking that we're kangaroos, so we can be killed and eaten by the population of the world. if you ever see kangaroo meat...don't eat it, it could be one of your friends who went in for a 'test' and became a Kangaroo, That's why we have a small human population and a Large Kangaroo population, and the people who find out are truend into wombats and hit my cars.
That is all.
AppleSauce Guy

Hallowell, ME

#18 Nov 29, 2010
Im surprised that this website has yet to have started a heated discussion on the up coming Zombie Apocalypse...
Quad Omega

Palm Coast, FL

#19 Nov 29, 2010
In Africa, the civil wars are a cover up for the big picture, aliens. It is the most untalked about controversy in the world because everybody is worried about the economy and Iraq, which is why the aliens set the native African tribes against each other so that way the aliens will rule in the end without having to harm any one themselves and they are disguised as Mosquitos to suck out the oxygen in a disease known as Malaria.

Stollings, WV

#20 Nov 30, 2010
Wouldn't doubt it!

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