The pain of knowing your dad never wa...

The pain of knowing your dad never wanted you in his life

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Zoo Keeper

Johnston City, IL

#1 Nov 26, 2011
It has been many years since my mother divorced my father for cheating on her time and time aain. I never will undersand how he could be in our daily lives for all those years and then as soon as the divorce is over he doesn't know our names. I am humiliated to know that people know he doesn't care about being in my life. What is wrong with me? Why am i not good enough to be able to call someone dad? I have reached out many times but it never lasts long. The relationship can never go any further than formalities and then he is gone back into hiding from his children. His wife would rather we were all dead. It gets harder to take, knowing that my dad doesn't want me. If he had never been in my life and didn't know i existed, that would be much easier because people wouldn't know i have been cast away all my life by the fundamental person who is supposed to validate his daughters worthiness and worth. So, i'm done. Just want all of you fathers to know out there how important it is to stay in your daughters life, in your childrens lives. If the ex makes it difficult, please fight. I wish my father would
FYI

United States

#2 Nov 26, 2011
God loves you dearly. Turn to him. He is our true father in heaven. Many of us don't have fathers. Just pray to God honestly and from your heart. He will hear you. We live in a fallen world, the Devil is the Prince of the World. But God still has full control. He will not necessarily take away your hurt or problems, but will give you the added strength to overcome our obstacles.

God Loves You! He knows your hurt and problems. Check out Intouch.org
hang in there

Paducah, KY

#3 Nov 26, 2011
My daughter deals with a similar situation every day! You are worthy and the pain he causes you will only haunt him one day when he tries to reach out to you and you are so numb that you don't care if he is dead or alive. He is not worth your tears and one day you will get past this pain. He will live a life full of loneliness and he has to be heartless if he can just wipe away his children as if they don't exist! I will pray for your pain to get less every day. Stay strong!
call me what you want

Owensboro, KY

#4 Nov 26, 2011
The pain you describe is exactly what I have been working so hard to keep from my own child. when i found out i was prego the bio father ran. i met an amazing man who not only loves me but my kid as well. he legally adopted my child and the child knows nothing. the child was so young he is all she knows. he worries that when the child does find out that she will hate him because he is not her bio father. I pray you find comfort and do not learn to group all men in the same category. good luck and lean on God.

“.”

Since: Oct 11

Location hidden

#6 Nov 26, 2011
Monster mash has daddy issues
monster mash

Paducah, KY

#7 Nov 26, 2011
NEW-WORLD-ORDER wrote:
Monster mash has daddy issues
But you don't have a problem being gay do you?

“.”

Since: Oct 11

Location hidden

#8 Nov 26, 2011
monster mash wrote:
<quoted text>But you don't have a problem being gay do you?
What's that old fart? All I could hear was sh!t noises
I have

Paducah, KY

#9 Nov 26, 2011
SANFORD and son wrote:
i say pray for there mom she has brain washed them and made him run from everything! two sides to the story people a woman is viscious!
Really??? She said she has tried to have a relationship with her father. No matter what her mother might have said if she has tried to reach out to him and he still hasn't been there then it's on him. I know from experience with my own " biodad". I tried for years when I was younger to have a relationship with him but all he did was disappoint. He was given the option to pay child support and have a relationship or no child support and he could walk. he couldn't get out of there fast enough. It seems to me there r alot of boys who can't step up and be men. To the one who wrote this post, it has been forty years, and me having my own children to realize that this was his problem not mine. It does still hurt sometimes becuz I couldn't imagine doing that to my own children, but him not sticking around was probably the best thing for me. I'm happy and love my mom more than anything. This is on him and has nothing to do with u as person. He is the one who has lost out on a really incredible daughter. Just live ur life and be the best u can be and know he is the one who is missing out, not you!
memphisangel1948

Memphis, TN

#10 Nov 26, 2011
Don't waste your life trying to have a relationship with this sorry excuse for a dad. I spent most of my life trying to be loved by my parents. It was a waste of my life and was the ruin of it and now i am a senior citizen and i see clearly that i should have simply got on with my life and pursued my dreams and kept a relationship with Almighty GOD and joined a bible based church, but instead i opened myself up to abuse and madness and a wasted life by my pursuit of these sickos which were my biological parents.. PLEASE DON"T WASTSE YOUR LIFE and be like me full of regrets for a wasted life.
monster mash

Paducah, KY

#11 Nov 27, 2011
NEW-WORLD-ORDER wrote:
<quoted text>
What's that old fart? All I could hear was sh!t noises
Old Fart and me are not the same dumba$$, but you can continue to think that. And that sh!t noise you here is you rinsing your mouth with pee water.
Zoo Keeper

Johnston City, IL

#12 Nov 27, 2011
I thank all of you who responded to my post. It has truly helped me to know that i am not alone. It was especially nice to read the one post who said he is missing out on an awesome daughter. I am a christian but it still hurts sometimes. Hopefully this thread will continue and others who are going through the same thing can vent or feel encouraged. Thanks and pray for me.
swampdonkey

Niles, IL

#13 Nov 27, 2011
It truly shocks me that someone just writes off their child like that. Happened to my mother when she was growing up. As a result, he never really got to know me. I've dated women with children who had fathers that weren't around, didn't want to be. They were the sweetest kids too. I just don't get it. I don't have any of my own, but will possibly have stepkids. Their father is completely out of the picture, at his own hand. Keep your head up, I will be praying for you that you will find peace.

Since: Nov 11

Location hidden

#14 Nov 27, 2011
Zoo Keeper wrote:
It has been many years since my mother divorced my father for cheating on her time and time aain. I never will undersand how he could be in our daily lives for all those years and then as soon as the divorce is over he doesn't know our names. I am humiliated to know that people know he doesn't care about being in my life. What is wrong with me? Why am i not good enough to be able to call someone dad? I have reached out many times but it never lasts long. The relationship can never go any further than formalities and then he is gone back into hiding from his children. His wife would rather we were all dead. It gets harder to take, knowing that my dad doesn't want me. If he had never been in my life and didn't know i existed, that would be much easier because people wouldn't know i have been cast away all my life by the fundamental person who is supposed to validate his daughters worthiness and worth. So, i'm done. Just want all of you fathers to know out there how important it is to stay in your daughters life, in your childrens lives. If the ex makes it difficult, please fight. I wish my father would
How old are you?
Big Man

Nashville, TN

#16 Nov 27, 2011
I would help but my daddy loves me :)
Sssssss

Paducah, KY

#17 Nov 27, 2011
I have wrote:
<quoted text>Really??? She said she has tried to have a relationship with her father. No matter what her mother might have said if she has tried to reach out to him and he still hasn't been there then it's on him. I know from experience with my own " biodad". I tried for years when I was younger to have a relationship with him but all he did was disappoint. He was given the option to pay child support and have a relationship or no child support and he could walk. he couldn't get out of there fast enough. It seems to me there r alot of boys who can't step up and be men. To the one who wrote this post, it has been forty years, and me having my own children to realize that this was his problem not mine. It does still hurt sometimes becuz I couldn't imagine doing that to my own children, but him not sticking around was probably the best thing for me. I'm happy and love my mom more than anything. This is on him and has nothing to do with u as person. He is the one who has lost out on a really incredible daughter. Just live ur life and be the best u can be and know he is the one who is missing out, not you!
I think its a sad situation for the child, however remember there is always two sides to every story... Moms are really bad at holding their children over the fathers head and then making the father out to be the bad guy in the end.. When truth is you never know what real kind of fight the father put up... Maybe he thought it was better to walk away rather than put the child/children thru all the fighting and arguing... And maybe now that she has reached out mayve he dont know how to react b/c of the pain he feels for walking out instead of fighting forever until something changed... Im sure the mother wasnt easy to work with considering she said he had an affair, im sure she was bitter, ive been thru all that as a child and a adult w step children and their mother.. The kids are the ones who suffer in the end for two adults and their selfishness... I think cheating is wrong, however it doesnt change who a childs parent is, you layed down with him to make that baby and you have to be the one to deal with him for at least 18 years, i live that daily..
I have

Paducah, KY

#18 Nov 27, 2011
I can only speak for my situation, but I remember waiting for my "biodad" to show up for a visit and he very rarely would come. Just becuz a man can make a baby doesn't mean he is a father. And just becuz u "lay with someone" when ur very young and have a baby, doesn't mean a child should pay for ur mistakes. We all make mistakes when we r young and some of those become blessing in our children. I just know from my experience that NOT having my "biodad" in my life was the best thing for me. I am in my 40's and have a wonderful family that I love very much. I still hear things about my real dad from people and it seems he still doesn't have his life together. It's sad to say but I really have no feelings for him other than pity. And no he walked away becuz he would rather not have the burden of kids and he didn't want to have finiaicial responsibility either. He did the same thing with his next wife. I'm sure there r some women who hold kids over dads heads for revenge or whatever, but I think a good parent or mother just wants what is best for her kids and sometimes that isn't the real father. And sometimes its not the mother either. Just becuz u can have sex doesn't mean ur parent material.
omg270

United States

#19 Nov 29, 2011
Zoo Keeper wrote:
I thank all of you who responded to my post. It has truly helped me to know that i am not alone. It was especially nice to read the one post who said he is missing out on an awesome daughter. I am a christian but it still hurts sometimes. Hopefully this thread will continue and others who are going through the same thing can vent or feel encouraged. Thanks and pray for me.
God bless you, and stay strong. My younger brother and I also face a similar situation. I have come to terms with it all. I know that one day he will regret his actions, and that I have done nothing to deserve such horrible treatment. We will all be judged one day.
Chicky Doo

Paducah, KY

#20 Nov 29, 2011
Any parent that doesn't have a relationship with their child is a piece of crap and doesn't deserve to be called a Dad or Mother. Anyone other person that tries to come between a parent and child is the same piece of crap!
lucky one

Centertown, KY

#21 Nov 30, 2011
My biological father choose to not have a relationship with me. I understood he very much wanted and adored my older brother and half brothers, but never made any attempts to have any relationship with me, even after I turned 18 and he was free of any support payment, of which he rarely ever made. I was lucky, my mom remarried and I had a step dad who was more of a father to me than my biological father could have ever been. Unfortunately he died when I wass 15, but the love he gave to me, my older sister and brother was beyond what anyone would expect. My step dad married my mom with three children and loved us all. I don't regret not having a relationship with my biological father because he was crazy and my life was better off without him being in it. Things happen for a reason and if you let it drag you down then it will be part of you as long as you let it. I believe God puts others in our lives to fill the voids of those that don't, but rightly should. Count your blessings, a relationship with your biological father could have been much worse. Sometimes we're better off just moving on and count our blessings.
I agree with CD

United States

#22 Nov 30, 2011
Chicky Doo's right... anybody who doesn't want kids shouldn't have them. First practice safe sex, but if that fails, just go get an abortion.

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