caught him lying, but i snooped

caught him lying, but i snooped

Posted in the Owensboro Forum

First Prev
of 2
Next Last
nn name

Richland, IN

#1 Dec 4, 2012
I caught my fiance in a lie, a big one. I snooped thru his text msgs,(yes i love him, but after being burned before, i dont trust ANYBODY), and saw what I needed to see. When I casually asked him a question about the topic, he lied, straight out. Its killing me, i want to say, "hey you are lying", but I'm afraid my snooping is just as bad. What to do? Yea, go ahead and flog me for snooping, but intuition is right everytime.
!!!!!!!!

Princeton, KY

#2 Dec 4, 2012
nn name wrote:
I caught my fiance in a lie, a big one. I snooped thru his text msgs,(yes i love him, but after being burned before, i dont trust ANYBODY), and saw what I needed to see. When I casually asked him a question about the topic, he lied, straight out. Its killing me, i want to say, "hey you are lying", but I'm afraid my snooping is just as bad. What to do? Yea, go ahead and flog me for snooping, but intuition is right everytime.
What did he lie about? What you should do depends on what he lied about.

Since: Nov 11

Wild Blue Yonder

#3 Dec 4, 2012
Use what you know now to help him dig his own grave. Then it's not about what you did to protect yourself. If he can say what you found that he lied about was done to protect himself or was somehow for the good of you both, well...then you're in the wrong. If he can't, and I doubt that he can from what you've said, don't feel the least bit guilty about it.
?

White Plains, KY

#4 Dec 4, 2012
In a real relationship there should be nothing to hide
nn name

Richland, IN

#5 Dec 4, 2012
True, all of you, thanks.
Skipper

United States

#6 Dec 4, 2012
Snooping broke the trust first
KY Vet

Memphis, TN

#7 Dec 4, 2012
You stated he is your fiance, which means you have intentions of marrying. BAD MOVE! If you have trust issues at this stage of the relationship then your future is bleak. Be open and honest with him, including admitting to the snooping. Fess up and ask him to do the same. If both of or either of you cannot do this then you are heading down a long and troublesome road. Slow down and work on the honesty and trust issues before you both regret the outcome. I wish you and him well and hope this works out for you and him. I personally just ended a long marriage becouse we had these same issues and could not overcome them, learn from my experience. Hope this helps.
nn name

Richland, IN

#8 Dec 4, 2012
Thanks ky vet, great advice. I confronted him, problem is resolved. Forgive, dont forget. Thanks for the advice, yes, flog me for snooping skipper, but i never ignore my gut feeling. Its not my first rodeo.
dumb

Owensboro, KY

#9 Dec 4, 2012
Skipper...really...snooping broke it? Pretty sure he is obviously done something to her in the past to make her check...and it doesn't matter...he lied end of story. I sure hope you don't have a girl Skip

“"All gave some, Some gave all"”

Level 3

Since: Dec 12

Location hidden

#10 Dec 5, 2012
nn name wrote:
Thanks ky vet, great advice. I confronted him, problem is resolved. Forgive, dont forget. Thanks for the advice, yes, flog me for snooping skipper, but i never ignore my gut feeling. Its not my first rodeo.
Happy to hear you have resolved this, hopefully with good results. No flogging is necessary as you were following your gut,(and possibly your heart), and your gut instinct is seldom wrong. Best of luck to you.
Skipper

United States

#11 Dec 5, 2012
dumb wrote:
Skipper...really...snooping broke it? Pretty sure he is obviously done something to her in the past to make her check...and it doesn't matter...he lied end of story. I sure hope you don't have a girl Skip
Snooping is worse than lying. He is the victim in this. I would drop the dishonest girl like a hot rock.

“"All gave some, Some gave all"”

Level 3

Since: Dec 12

Location hidden

#12 Dec 5, 2012
Skipper wrote:
<quoted text>
Snooping is worse than lying. He is the victim in this. I would drop the dishonest girl like a hot rock.
If he has been caught in a lie its hard to see him as the victim. Kinda sounds to me like you are using the old 'its not illegal unless you get caught' theory. I dont condone someone snooping into other peoples business, but like the other comment made previously, he most likely did something to provoke her to snoop. Honesty and trust go hand in hand in a relationship, seems to be some of both lacking. Maybe he has yet to earn her trust due to a history of lieing.
A Mom

United States

#13 Dec 5, 2012
I have snooped before. I just told the guy "I went through your phone and found this." if he gets mad, just tell him that it's his fault for lying in the first place. Women can tell when something isn't right. He shouldn't have given you a reason to snoop. And I wouldn't think you should marry a man that lies to you. You will regret it.

Level 1

Since: Sep 12

Location hidden

#14 Dec 5, 2012
I wouldn't consider it as snooping. When you commit into a relationship with someone especially to the point of proposing a marriage your problems and issues become one. You don't hide things and you don't lie. Think about it. Lies lead to more lies to cover up the lies you told before. It always ends up snowballing into bigger issues and nothing gets resolved that way. Trust and honesty go hand in hand. My opinion the honesty brings the trust. Hopefully if these two love each other enough they will learn from this and realize no matter what the situation is, it is best to just bring things out into the open because the truth always comes out sooner or later.
nn name

Richland, IN

#15 Dec 5, 2012
Thanks everyone, actually alot of very good advice. Yes, lots of issues to work on, hopefully can continue on and regain trust, wedding is far in the future, these are some of the issues that have to be settled prior. Lesson learned for both of us. Ky vet, your wisdom and insight are great, thank you. And fyi, he wasnt mad i had snooped, he was pretty much busted and knew it. Good day to you all!
Jill

United States

#16 Dec 5, 2012
You won't last. You all must have huge problems if you're posting on this site. Or maybe you thought your soon to be husband would come across this thread and see how wrong he was. If there's no trust, you'll never last. If I guessed, you're together right now because security. You don't want to go and find somebody new. You're thinking it's a scary world and you can change the one you're with.

Good luck
thinking done gracefully

United States

#17 Dec 5, 2012
Do yo thing! Good for you for snooping! Trust your instincts!
Skipper

United States

#18 Dec 6, 2012
thinking done gracefully wrote:
Do yo thing! Good for you for snooping! Trust your instincts!
Interesting that dishonesty is being celebrated on this thread.

“"All gave some, Some gave all"”

Level 3

Since: Dec 12

Location hidden

#19 Dec 6, 2012
Skipper wrote:
<quoted text>
Interesting that dishonesty is being celebrated on this thread.
Yes, very interesting. Are you not the same Skipper whom posted just yesterday on this very thread, "snooping is worse than lieing"? In my book lieing and dishonesty are the same thing.
U guys r crazy

Owensboro, KY

#20 Dec 6, 2012
If you are already facing issues of infidelity & you are only engaged then you better get to steppin, it will never quit. Ladies: If you have to chase after him, he's not ever gonna be entirely yours. You will be chasing after him your whole relationship.

Tell me when this thread is updated:

Subscribe Now Add to my Tracker
First Prev
of 2
Next Last

Add your comments below

Characters left: 4000

Please note by submitting this form you acknowledge that you have read the Terms of Service and the comment you are posting is in compliance with such terms. Be polite. Inappropriate posts may be removed by the moderator. Send us your feedback.

Owensboro Discussions

Title Updated Last By Comments
Lucas anderson 1 min ICaNthEaRU 38
Love you to the moon and..... 3 min ROTTEN 2
Bobby Wilson arrested 9 min Hmmm 5
Musick studio drug test 10 min Hehe 7
Wife wants a divorce 14 min ICaNthEaRU 3
Casey Martin 18 min SKANK 2
Times up don't say I didn't warn you! 22 min ICaNthEaRU 7

Owensboro Jobs

More from around the web

Personal Finance

Owensboro Mortgages