Ex-wives who keep their kids from the...

Ex-wives who keep their kids from the fathers

Posted in the Owensboro Forum

First Prev
of 2
Next Last
Unimpressed

Owensboro, KY

#1 Aug 15, 2012
Name them. I have, in the last few years, come to realize that in this town, there are an unbelievable amount of men who are paying support & doing everything they can, but their exes will not let them have visitation, or if they do, they make it as impossible as they can. Why are the courts not cracking down on this? And who all do you know who is losing out with their child because of a bitter ex? I'm disgusted by this.
the truth
#2 Aug 15, 2012
I dont get to see my daughter because of some lies that my ex told, yet she still gets my money every month. not that i mind paying "child support", if only i knew for sure that it was getting spent on her.
Unimpressed

Owensboro, KY

#3 Aug 15, 2012
the truth wrote:
I dont get to see my daughter because of some lies that my ex told, yet she still gets my money every month. not that i mind paying "child support", if only i knew for sure that it was getting spent on her.
Have you went to court to try to get visitation? That's the part I don't understand--how do these parents get away with keeping the child(ren) away? Aren't there laws?
the truth
#4 Aug 15, 2012
Unimpressed wrote:
<quoted text>
Have you went to court to try to get visitation? That's the part I don't understand--how do these parents get away with keeping the child(ren) away? Aren't there laws?
no i havent gone to court..... yet. its funny how it costs nothing to to get a court date for child support but when it comes to me getting a court date for visitation, i have to get a lawyer ($$$$$$$$) and pay the courts even more $$$$$ to open a case. im looking at probably $1500 just to get visitation, and thats money i just dont have right now.
two sided

Owensboro, KY

#5 Aug 15, 2012
My husband was on short term disability after having surgery for 7 months and was getting reduced pay.
He reported this to the Child Support Office and was told that the mom has to AGREE to lower the child support during that time, and he had to have a court date.
The mom didn't show up to court, so they didn't lower his support. So, he was making 40% of his normal pay for 7 months, but had to pay the whole support.
The system is ALWAYS for the mom, and I feel like the courts ALWAYS assume the dads are deadbeats, even the ones who are trying hard.
you are not alone

Owensboro, KY

#6 Aug 15, 2012
My husband is in this situation! I hate it for him it's quite pathetic and I don't understand. I don't see how anyone can do that to their child yet they profess their endless love and make him out to be a deadbeat for not being there! I was raised by my father, we are not from here, so when we (my brother and I) were younger, my mother tried everything to keep my Dad away including raising his support to $1200/ mo., and moving 3 hrs. away. But he faught her and never backed down paid his support and drove that 3 hr drive every-other weekend. I thank god he didn't becuase there was a lot of abuse going on and that is when dad stepped in and faught even harder! I know it took money he didn't have he sold his truck that he worked so hard for, worked 80-100 hour weeks and needless to say he was awarded custody of us, my mother only had to pay $120 a month in child support!(which she never paid) Shortly there after we moved here from michigan and my dad went to the courthouse here to see what he could do about her not paying, he didn't need her money it was just the principle. But when he asked the secretary who he needed to speak to she looked @ him like he was the biggest piece of scum! I, at 10 yrs. of age, told that woman to quit looking at my father like that and get him some help and to this day it still pisses me off! I respect men who are in this situation and I know it is tough. I dealt with it as a child and also now with my step-daughter. I just want to say it is a Kentucky thing and it is ridiculous! Keep your head up and NEVER give up! You never know when your child will need you and when they grow up they will know how much you love them by not giving up! But there definetly needs to be something done it is pathetic! We have spent over $3,000 in lawyer fees for my step daughter and we haven't had a visit since 2010! We have birthday and christmas presents wrapped and sitting in her room, it hurts me and I'm not even her mom. Women grow up and quit being so pathetic, you make the rest of us look bad! Keep pushing guys, it will happen one day!
ttpoint

Owensboro, KY

#7 Aug 15, 2012
Mothers and father seem to forget about the children involved, they get so wrapped up on themselves. Unless the ex being mom or dad is harming the child, get your shit together. These children didn't ask to be born. Stop trying and in most cases succeed to worp your children they are our future. My brother has been dealing with his ex for 11 years, she still can't put it behind her for their chidren, as a result one is out of control making bad grades ect. Future not so bright for him, has had to witness his mother say and do unheard of things to their father for 11 years. He works hard, provides financial, lots of love and support to both children and still gets a hard time everyday it seems. Their mother needs a wake up call. As for deadbeat dads they get what they deserve.

Level 1

Since: Aug 12

Location hidden

#8 Aug 15, 2012
I have an uncle going through this! His ex wife has custody, he pays child support, and has visitation every other week, but for a long time she would make exuses as to why they couldn't come on his weekends. Now she literally bribes their kids with money, new phones, ect. ect. so they pretty much don't have anything to do with him now. He just gave up because he felt he was fighting a losing battle so he is waiting for the kids to figure it out themselves. He has taken her to court several times and she would tell the judge the same lies she would give my uncle. Year before last she went as far as to tell the kids if they went to their dad's that weekend, they couldn't go to Florida for vacation!
The Truth

United States

#9 Aug 15, 2012
the truth wrote:
<quoted text>no i havent gone to court..... yet. its funny how it costs nothing to to get a court date for child support but when it comes to me getting a court date for visitation, i have to get a lawyer ($$$$$$$$) and pay the courts even more $$$$$ to open a case. im looking at probably $1500 just to get visitation, and thats money i just dont have right now.
married or not married. The system sucks for dads. I know. Well good dads. Pray. Hold ya head up high. Keep it moving. All you can do is what you can do. I sleep real good at nights.
not for all dads

Owensboro, KY

#10 Aug 15, 2012
I think that it is wrong to keep your kids from their dad. I am going through this right now, the crappy part is that my SOB ex-husband, well would be if he would ever go sign the damn papers, isn't paying at all to support his children and there's nothing that the law can do until there is a divorce decree in place. I have never kept my children from seeing their dad because I know how it feels to be a child and to grow up with a dad who lived so far away (his choice) that I only got to see him once a year for a long time. My mom did play a lot of the really hateful cards trying to get us kids to hate him as well, but it did not work for us. I keep my mouth shut in front of my kids (oldest) about his dad. He's a lazy POS who lies his way out of everything, yet I still let him see them unless I know he will put them in any sort of harmful (alcohol or under the influence of something) situations.
Kids are not to be used as bargaining chips and if they pay or don't pay support if they want to see their children then let them. It is about the kids not you and him...
The Truth

United States

#11 Aug 15, 2012
not for all dads wrote:
I think that it is wrong to keep your kids from their dad. I am going through this right now, the crappy part is that my SOB ex-husband, well would be if he would ever go sign the damn papers, isn't paying at all to support his children and there's nothing that the law can do until there is a divorce decree in place. I have never kept my children from seeing their dad because I know how it feels to be a child and to grow up with a dad who lived so far away (his choice) that I only got to see him once a year for a long time. My mom did play a lot of the really hateful cards trying to get us kids to hate him as well, but it did not work for us. I keep my mouth shut in front of my kids (oldest) about his dad. He's a lazy POS who lies his way out of everything, yet I still let him see them unless I know he will put them in any sort of harmful (alcohol or under the influence of something) situations.
Kids are not to be used as bargaining chips and if they pay or don't pay support if they want to see their children then let them. It is about the kids not you and him...
agree. It's suppose to be. In theroy. But in real life. When people get hurt. They will shit on you any way possible. If using the kids is one. Man or female. They will. It's 2012. All that good old days shi- is gone. People only care about themselves. When the shi- hits the fan. And kids get used as bargaining chips or for hurting the other parent. I know. I used to think growing up. The world could be a good place. Cause my childhood was great. But when I grew up. I realized. It's not and you have to be smart. Smart people in the long run will win. Dummies won't.
Unimpressed

Owensboro, KY

#12 Aug 15, 2012
I am so sorry so many people are dealing with this. But I have to say this--u do NOT need a lawyer to go fight for visitation rights. U most certainly can go to the courthouse by urself, file the papers, pay $50 for the sherriff to serve her, & u will get the standard Daviess County guidelines visitation. I know this for a fact because my husband had to do it. And he now has custody. He eventually did get a lawyer so he could fight to get what the kids needed, but in the meantime, while ur saving for a lawyer, go get ur visits! The judges are really starting to look thru these "mothers'" bs & pay more attention to fathers' rights. So that's why I started this thread because my husband had to fight like a dog to get where he & his kids are today, but I wondered why so many women are getting away with brainwashing the kids. Is it because of the lack of money for lawyers? Dads, go in that courthouse, get a court date, & plead your case to the judge. Explain to him that u can't afford a lawyer but u want to see ur kids. After she breaks the order so many times she will lose all credibility. It's so unfair & whoever said that the c.s. office favors the mom is so right. They piss me off so bad down there. To whoever is on disability--fight that crap! She does NOT have to agree to lower ur support! My husbands ex was madder than heck when he got laid off but his cs was lowered thru the cs division bc it's the LAW!!! The case worker who told him she had to agree must be a friend of his ex or something! Ask to deal with her supervisor & I bet the story will change fast--we have been down that road too! There is so much bull shit in this town I get so mad!
curious

Owensboro, KY

#13 Aug 15, 2012
There are some dads that Dont need to be in their kids lives...especially when they've molested them. I was with a guy once that i found out had done this to his kids. Thank God i got out of that real quick. Those poor kids are scarred for life no matter how much innocence he proclaims.
The Truth

United States

#14 Aug 15, 2012
curious wrote:
There are some dads that Dont need to be in their kids lives...especially when they've molested them. I was with a guy once that i found out had done this to his kids. Thank God i got out of that real quick. Those poor kids are scarred for life no matter how much innocence he proclaims.
yep. Good for you. Kids will let you know in there own way, what's going on or what they want.
tr h klm

Owensboro, KY

#15 Aug 15, 2012
My baby visits dad. But has a meltdown if she has to stay the night. We know she wants to be in her crib at my house to sleep. He understands. I'm thankful for that.
never change

Owensboro, KY

#16 Aug 15, 2012
I would give you a name but I'm not starting that again on here....
tr h klm

Owensboro, KY

#17 Aug 15, 2012
Oh. To add. She will nap at his house. But won't sleep through the night. I'm glad he understands what she needs at this point in her life.
prem

Owensboro, KY

#18 Aug 15, 2012
If I knew my ex would send my baby home if he wanted\needed me, we wouldn't have problems. Kudos to your ex letting the baby be comfortable!
you are not alone

Owensboro, KY

#19 Aug 15, 2012
Unimpressed wrote:
I am so sorry so many people are dealing with this. But I have to say this--u do NOT need a lawyer to go fight for visitation rights. U most certainly can go to the courthouse by urself, file the papers, pay $50 for the sherriff to serve her, & u will get the standard Daviess County guidelines visitation. I know this for a fact because my husband had to do it. And he now has custody. He eventually did get a lawyer so he could fight to get what the kids needed, but in the meantime, while ur saving for a lawyer, go get ur visits! The judges are really starting to look thru these "mothers'" bs & pay more attention to fathers' rights. So that's why I started this thread because my husband had to fight like a dog to get where he & his kids are today, but I wondered why so many women are getting away with brainwashing the kids. Is it because of the lack of money for lawyers? Dads, go in that courthouse, get a court date, & plead your case to the judge. Explain to him that u can't afford a lawyer but u want to see ur kids. After she breaks the order so many times she will lose all credibility. It's so unfair & whoever said that the c.s. office favors the mom is so right. They piss me off so bad down there. To whoever is on disability--fight that crap! She does NOT have to agree to lower ur support! My husbands ex was madder than heck when he got laid off but his cs was lowered thru the cs division bc it's the LAW!!! The case worker who told him she had to agree must be a friend of his ex or something! Ask to deal with her supervisor & I bet the story will change fast--we have been down that road too! There is so much bull shit in this town I get so mad!
My husband file his original visitation papers w/o an attorney but when we went to court she had an attorney and needless to say he wanted him to agree to a bunch of shit that he knew nothing about which he did because he just wanted to see his daughter. But then what happens when she's not home when you go to pick the child up? or she tells you that the child has other plans? They will set visitation but they WILL NOT enforce it. That is why we have dropped some $$$$$, to take her for contemp.

Level 1

Since: Aug 12

Location hidden

#20 Aug 15, 2012
My childhood was awful! I grew up with my mom and dad fighting all the time, he was an alcoholic who stayed gone most of the time, and we would come to owensboro and stay with my aunts for a while. I have 2 sisters and a brother and we missed so much school over that! Because of the atmosphere I grew up in, I have a sleeping disorder, bi-polar, severe anxiety, and depression! Parenets don't realize what they are doing to their children! They may seem fine, but it could cause more damage than realized. My husband and I have 3 beautiful children and if we have a problem, we discuss it when they are in bed or just stay away from each other until we cool off! I know how it feels to live in an environment with fighting parents, and no father (even though he was in the home, he was hardly there and has NEVER had anything to do with me)! I have never even heard I love you from him in 32 years! So moms and dads out there who read this, give it a thought and ask yourself "do I want my child(ren) to end up this way?"

Tell me when this thread is updated:

Subscribe Now Add to my Tracker
First Prev
of 2
Next Last

Add your comments below

Characters left: 4000

Please note by submitting this form you acknowledge that you have read the Terms of Service and the comment you are posting is in compliance with such terms. Be polite. Inappropriate posts may be removed by the moderator. Send us your feedback.

Owensboro Discussions

Title Updated Last By Comments
white girl 2 min icu17 1
nicole cooper (Jan '13) 8 min Molasses 8
Damian Morrow POLICE 15 min Omfg 2
Derek Worth 33 min truth sayer 3
Rebecca W (Becca Ann) 33 min BBNL 1
Chance got Tori hester pregnant? 34 min Aprilia m 4
Ariel Storm abusing Emily Oberst? (Nov '15) 52 min I know her 15

Owensboro Jobs

More from around the web

Personal Finance

Owensboro Mortgages