In love with a married man

Posted in the Owensboro Forum

Lonely Princess

Sydney, Australia

#1 Jan 30, 2013
I've known this man for 23years. Been thru his 2 divorces before starting our relationship. I'm also married but was unhappy & now separated. After almost 14mths secretly together I thought I wasn't enough for him & told him to find a full time love. He did & now I'm devastated. They are not married but live together as if married. They go on a holiday on Friday & I'm beside myself. We have continued our affair for almost 3years & he says he loves me... But I don't understand how he can also love her...

Level 1

Since: Nov 12

Duluth, GA

#2 Jan 30, 2013
I would say start with yourself. Love yourself and do what is right for your life. If he really loves you his current relationship will end on its own. Sorry to hear you're going through something like this and I hope everything works out for you. Just my opinion.
Really

Owensboro, KY

#3 Jan 30, 2013
Lonely Princess wrote:
I've known this man for 23years. Been thru his 2 divorces before starting our relationship. I'm also married but was unhappy & now separated. After almost 14mths secretly together I thought I wasn't enough for him & told him to find a full time love. He did & now I'm devastated. They are not married but live together as if married. They go on a holiday on Friday & I'm beside myself. We have continued our affair for almost 3years & he says he loves me... But I don't understand how he can also love her...
get a life and some dignity. He doesn't love you. If he did he wouldn't be with another woman. He loves your mouth and puss for free on the side. Grow some self-respect and realize your getting used and find someone that is truthful to you.

Level 1

Since: Jan 13

Bellevue, WA

#4 Jan 30, 2013
Dem booties aint got no cooties!
Enlightened

Springhill, LA

#5 Jan 31, 2013
I have been single for over ten years now. I was tired of it and went online looking for love, met a man, fell head over heals in love only to find out after we slept together that he was married to a woman that had cancer. He wouldn't leave her because her change in personality towards him "was not her fault" after man surgeries she changed and no longer was nice to him nor had sex with him. I also found out he was a preacher. The minute I found out, my heart sank. I struggled with the morality of "us" since the day it started but he was perfect for me...so perfect. We connected on so many levels, had great conversation, great sex, great everything. I woke up one morning as we always did and chatted with him online. I immediately ended the relationship telling him that I did love him but his situation would have to change before I could see him ever again. I deleted him from my email, phone etc. I felt like I was playing with fire. Under no circumstance would I ever want him to introduce me to his kids unless he was a widow and even then they may not like me. I had considered all ways of how we could be together successfully and maintain all of our other relationships with the people we love...until he told me that he was a preacher. For me that sealed the deal, he had to go. I would not put my feelings before his family or God and play with fire like that. It was hard, it was painful but if we are meant to be it will be so. I have faith that if I delight myself in the Lord he will give me the desires of my heart. It may not be him..it may someone else but at least it will be right then. I hope this helps you with your struggles.
maryjane

Helena, MT

#6 Feb 4, 2013
My advise: stay away from men in a relationship or that are married. I hate to tell you but If you have been put on the sideline secretly for 3 years ... you are going to stay there. This is what women need to learn.... Men are going to try to get there cake and eat it to, and as long as you are letting him do it he is going to take what he can get. Truthfully honey, he is probably fucking both of ya'll. You either need to realize you are better than that and tell him you are not being put on the sideline anymore and if he loves you he will be with you and if not it's over..... or you can always be a sideline hoe until one day someone will find out and spill the beans to everyone. Just think if you wouldn't want your man or woman cheating on you then you shouldn't be getting with someone Else's man or woman bc karma it a bitch. (Once a cheater always a cheater)

Level 1

Since: Jan 13

Hawesville, KY

#7 Feb 5, 2013
Enlightened wrote:
I have been single for over ten years now. I was tired of it and went online looking for love, met a man, fell head over heals in love only to find out after we slept together that he was married to a woman that had cancer. He wouldn't leave her because her change in personality towards him "was not her fault" after man surgeries she changed and no longer was nice to him nor had sex with him. I also found out he was a preacher. The minute I found out, my heart sank. I struggled with the morality of "us" since the day it started but he was perfect for me...so perfect. We connected on so many levels, had great conversation, great sex, great everything. I woke up one morning as we always did and chatted with him online. I immediately ended the relationship telling him that I did love him but his situation would have to change before I could see him ever again. I deleted him from my email, phone etc. I felt like I was playing with fire. Under no circumstance would I ever want him to introduce me to his kids unless he was a widow and even then they may not like me. I had considered all ways of how we could be together successfully and maintain all of our other relationships with the people we love...until he told me that he was a preacher. For me that sealed the deal, he had to go. I would not put my feelings before his family or God and play with fire like that. It was hard, it was painful but if we are meant to be it will be so. I have faith that if I delight myself in the Lord he will give me the desires of my heart. It may not be him..it may someone else but at least it will be right then. I hope this helps you with your struggles.
your point is just because u love someone, doesn't mean they are good for you. You are very wise to realize that. I imagine we all have had to say goodbye to someone we love because something bad tears at the soul.
alivia

Greenville, KY

#8 Feb 5, 2013
He doesnt love you. Men lie all the time but actions speak louder than words. If he wanted to be with you he would be with you. Its that simple.
ur stupid

Owensboro, KY

#9 Feb 7, 2013
This man has no intention of leaving his wife.She ,I guareentee doesnt have a clue about you.Hes married,back off dummy
Skipper

Duluth, GA

#10 Feb 7, 2013
There are a lot of man haters here
TheTruthKills

United States

#11 Feb 7, 2013
Riiiight but for real I wouldn't leave no girl on the side that's just messed up in any circumstance honest loving relationships only I've been cheated and lied to used for money n a lot of other sneaky stuff women have pulled but it goes both ways that's def true
truth

Bellevue, WA

#12 Feb 8, 2013
you need to leave married man alone
wakeup

Duluth, GA

#13 Feb 8, 2013
Married people are mostly pos! However if they are wanting out and truly want a divorce because they don't want to be with the person any longer or because they are having an affair and want to eventually be with this other person, then that's a different story. There are soooo many but some can seriously be legit. Don't be so quick to judge right after to read the title cause you haven't spent one day in that other persons shoes. What I find worst than anything in these situations is when the marriage is obviously broken and one wants out but the other person plays the married card and tries to threaten the other if they leave. Using kids, money pension, retirements, house, cars, family, friends... Etc... Against them. Either because they think they can, just to be a bitch, scared of being alone or even cause they found out the other cheated and they don't like the other person... That's really a sad one...
truth

Princeton, KY

#14 Feb 8, 2013
Enlightened wrote:
I have been single for over ten years now. I was tired of it and went online looking for love, met a man, fell head over heals in love only to find out after we slept together that he was married to a woman that had cancer. He wouldn't leave her because her change in personality towards him "was not her fault" after man surgeries she changed and no longer was nice to him nor had sex with him. I also found out he was a preacher. The minute I found out, my heart sank. I struggled with the morality of "us" since the day it started but he was perfect for me...so perfect. We connected on so many levels, had great conversation, great sex, great everything. I woke up one morning as we always did and chatted with him online. I immediately ended the relationship telling him that I did love him but his situation would have to change before I could see him ever again. I deleted him from my email, phone etc. I felt like I was playing with fire. Under no circumstance would I ever want him to introduce me to his kids unless he was a widow and even then they may not like me. I had considered all ways of how we could be together successfully and maintain all of our other relationships with the people we love...until he told me that he was a preacher. For me that sealed the deal, he had to go. I would not put my feelings before his family or God and play with fire like that. It was hard, it was painful but if we are meant to be it will be so. I have faith that if I delight myself in the Lord he will give me the desires of my heart. It may not be him..it may someone else but at least it will be right then. I hope this helps you with your struggles.
Hope you find some amazing.

Level 6

Since: Jul 11

Location hidden

#15 Feb 8, 2013
I'm not convinced that humans are designed to be monogamous. I think Charles Darwin agrees with me.
wakeup

Owensboro, KY

#16 Feb 8, 2013
We probably aren't.... Too many Good excuses not to be out there. Besides, most cheaters are good at BS, so they get forgiven eventually... Yea right
crazy

United States

#17 Feb 8, 2013
Enlightened wrote:
I have been single for over ten years now. I was tired of it and went online looking for love, met a man, fell head over heals in love only to find out after we slept together that he was married to a woman that had cancer. He wouldn't leave her because her change in personality towards him "was not her fault" after man surgeries she changed and no longer was nice to him nor had sex with him. I also found out he was a preacher. The minute I found out, my heart sank. I struggled with the morality of "us" since the day it started but he was perfect for me...so perfect. We connected on so many levels, had great conversation, great sex, great everything. I woke up one morning as we always did and chatted with him online. I immediately ended the relationship telling him that I did love him but his situation would have to change before I could see him ever again. I deleted him from my email, phone etc. I felt like I was playing with fire. Under no circumstance would I ever want him to introduce me to his kids unless he was a widow and even then they may not like me. I had considered all ways of how we could be together successfully and maintain all of our other relationships with the people we love...until he told me that he was a preacher. For me that sealed the deal, he had to go. I would not put my feelings before his family or God and play with fire like that. It was hard, it was painful but if we are meant to be it will be so. I have faith that if I delight myself in the Lord he will give me the desires of my heart. It may not be him..it may someone else but at least it will be right then. I hope this helps you with your struggles.
what really blows me away about your post is the fact that you are more upset about him being a preacher than you are that he is cheating on his wife who has cancer. She is at the lowest point in her life and possibly on her deathbed and he's out screwing around. I understand people change and people cheat, its human nature, but in her time of need he chose to go screw you instead of hold his wife's hand. The fact that that doesn't upset you is truly disturbing.
Same

Duluth, GA

#18 Feb 9, 2013
Was engaged to my best friend at one time but he cheated on me cause I worked a lot and he got lonely. Told him to tell me the truth and he never would so I kept finding out bits and pieces here and there and left. Immediately started dating someone else who didn't make me happy. My ex wanted back together for years. When me and
My guy broke up my ex was in a relationship:( after a while I got back together with my guy. Soon after my ex was single and called I think trying to see what might happen. Since my guy had changed some of his ways I told my ex I couldn't talk to him. My guy changed some things but after two years I regret not talking to my ex to see what he wanted. He is married now. I'm so miserable I often think what might have been if I had talked to my ex to see what he wanted and
Things could've finally worked out. I might actually be happy or married to him. Instead I'm stuck with my guy who makes me absolutely miserable. The longer I'm with him and the more he disappoints me theirs I think about my ex. I even dream about him all the time. Sometimes I'm scared I'm gonna be thinking of him and call my guy his name. I truly feel like my ex was my soulmate and there will never be someone to make me happy like when we were together. I would never physically cheat on my guy or even try to contact my ex but the what if has gotten to be an everyday question.
lolz

Morganfield, KY

#19 Feb 9, 2013
Liberal Wisenheimer wrote:
I'm not convinced that humans are designed to be monogamous. I think Charles Darwin agrees with me.
I'm quite sure Marti James agrees with you too

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