Advice on love and happiness

Posted in the Owensboro Forum

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PleaseHelp

Owensboro, KY

#1 Jun 12, 2013
I couldn't possibly write my entire story, but here is the problem: I'm confused. I love my husband and I care about him. We have had three seperations in which one lasted for months. I was with a guy whom I fell for those months and I decided at the last minute to go back to my husband for whatever reason-bc it was the right thing to do? I hurt everyday and no matter which direction I take, I hurt in some way. I feel like my life has come to a stopping point and I can't feel happiness and love is confusing...Please no mean or rude comments, just advice..

Level 3

Since: Sep 12

Location hidden

#2 Jun 12, 2013
I dont have any advice to offer , but Im in a similar situation. Sometimes I wonder what I was thinking and how I got in such a mess. I wish you the best .
hmm

Owensboro, KY

#3 Jun 12, 2013
Both of us 2 wrote:
I dont have any advice to offer , but Im in a similar situation. Sometimes I wonder what I was thinking and how I got in such a mess. I wish you the best .
Thank you:)
Yeah, it's terrible...
Leslie45

United States

#4 Jun 12, 2013
PleaseHelp wrote:
I couldn't possibly write my entire story, but here is the problem: I'm confused. I love my husband and I care about him. We have had three seperations in which one lasted for months. I was with a guy whom I fell for those months and I decided at the last minute to go back to my husband for whatever reason-bc it was the right thing to do? I hurt everyday and no matter which direction I take, I hurt in some way. I feel like my life has come to a stopping point and I can't feel happiness and love is confusing...Please no mean or rude comments, just advice..
My advice has never really been worth giving nor was it probably worth taking but it does seen like you may have yourself in a pickle . I guess you should ask yourself what were the real reasons you went back to the current situation .
And just my opinion you can't love the husband to much or in the right kind of way if you found another relationship in a matter of months that would make one have such doubts . How does the husband feel about the feelings/ doubts you are having? How is the " New" fling handling being away from you and is his feelings as strong about you as they are with him? Lust could be blinding the feeling of pure love. You should be honest with yourself and the other two and make some sort of choice no matter the outcome you shouldn't lead either of the two on and isn't being fair go yourself or the other two people's feelings either really .

Level 3

Since: Sep 12

Location hidden

#5 Jun 12, 2013
Do you ever wonder what love really feels like ?
hmm

Owensboro, KY

#6 Jun 12, 2013
Both of 2 wrote:
Do you ever wonder what love really feels like ?
What I know/experienced, but can also fade away in time...You can't stand to be away from them. You feel like one person around them. IDK...Everyone is different. I may be experiencing the wrong thing.
Been there

Henderson, KY

#7 Jun 12, 2013
Go with who treats you right and you know loves you. Cant go wrong with that. I went through simular situation. And once the pain and guilt left over time. I know I made the right choice. Finding a man who loves you and treats you right is HARD to find. Dont let what people say or think affect your choice either. Its your life be happy and enjoy the man who loves you for you.
hmm

Owensboro, KY

#8 Jun 12, 2013
Leslie45 wrote:
<quoted text> My advice has never really been worth giving nor was it probably worth taking but it does seen like you may have yourself in a pickle . I guess you should ask yourself what were the real reasons you went back to the current situation .
And just my opinion you can't love the husband to much or in the right kind of way if you found another relationship in a matter of months that would make one have such doubts . How does the husband feel about the feelings/ doubts you are having? How is the " New" fling handling being away from you and is his feelings as strong about you as they are with him? Lust could be blinding the feeling of pure love. You should be honest with yourself and the other two and make some sort of choice no matter the outcome you shouldn't lead either of the two on and isn't being fair go yourself or the other two people's feelings either really .
That's all the problems and then some...I have two kids and found myself pregnant with my ex's child..I lose my feelings for my husband, but I care so much for him. And my feelings go straight to my ex. My ex feels the very same way and we have trouble being away from one another..when I'm back with my husband-it's about the kids and stability and the honeymoon phase..the honeymoon phase as in you all of a sudden "love" again..It doesn't last long...My ex: He can get so annoying, but he figured me out in 6 months than my husband ever did in 4 years. I can be myself around him. My husband: I love and care for him and those feelings are not totally there. We can't talk, we're not close. Hubby and a girl was getting serious and I felt like I was a failure as a mother and came back another time.(another separation)
hmm

Owensboro, KY

#9 Jun 12, 2013
Been there wrote:
Go with who treats you right and you know loves you. Cant go wrong with that. I went through simular situation. And once the pain and guilt left over time. I know I made the right choice. Finding a man who loves you and treats you right is HARD to find. Dont let what people say or think affect your choice either. Its your life be happy and enjoy the man who loves you for you.
Thank you!:)
Both do love me for me and treat me right. I can never stop being friends with my ex...and from the attraction and bonding friendship-he's hard to be away from. My husband: We're married and I get jealous when he is dating-it sucks! We had a little separation the last one: He was already looking for a girl...He said if I left him again, he would go wild and be with a bunch of girls.
Leslie45

United States

#10 Jun 12, 2013
hmm wrote:
<quoted text>
Thank you!:)
Both do love me for me and treat me right. I can never stop being friends with my ex...and from the attraction and bonding friendship-he's hard to be away from. My husband: We're married and I get jealous when he is dating-it sucks! We had a little separation the last one: He was already looking for a girl...He said if I left him again, he would go wild and be with a bunch of girls.
sounds like you've got a mess and then some to deal with . If the husband did in fact go out with all these girls he claims he would why would it bother you? What's good for the goose is good for the gander I've always been told .
Been there

Henderson, KY

#11 Jun 12, 2013
If you let a GOOD guy go then you will never know how happy you could have been. Being treated like a woman should be with respect and tenderness is a rare thing. My husband now is the sweetest man I know and Im Lucky to have him.If I had stayed with my ex then id be living in regret instead of the guilt that left the moment I said I DO!
huh

Owensboro, KY

#12 Jun 12, 2013
PleaseHelp wrote:
I couldn't possibly write my entire story, but here is the problem: I'm confused. I love my husband and I care about him. We have had three seperations in which one lasted for months. I was with a guy whom I fell for those months and I decided at the last minute to go back to my husband for whatever reason-bc it was the right thing to do? I hurt everyday and no matter which direction I take, I hurt in some way. I feel like my life has come to a stopping point and I can't feel happiness and love is confusing...Please no mean or rude comments, just advice..
is this Jessica
justme

Greenwood, IN

#13 Jun 12, 2013
Both of us 2 wrote:
Do you ever wonder what love really feels like ?
I don't know if what I felt was love, but to me? It is like a drunk or a high, when things that aren't usually funny are hilarious or things that aren't usually appealing are beautiful. I never noticed how beautiful one persons skin could be until love. Just looking at them made thibgs better. I never had an imperfection be perfect to me, until love. How you can value someone else's happiness so much more then your own. Its scary really.
hmmm

United States

#14 Jun 12, 2013
If you ever find yourself loving two ppl at once chose the second one. Cause if u truly loved the first. You wouldnt have found the second one.
Joe

Owensboro, KY

#15 Jun 12, 2013
Don't marry for money, or out of desperation
sooo

United States

#16 Jun 12, 2013
hmmm wrote:
If you ever find yourself loving two ppl at once chose the second one. Cause if u truly loved the first. You wouldnt have found the second one.
Sorry. But I call BS. You CAN love 2 people at once, and for 2 totally different reasons. We aren't penguins. we are human and made to love. Love is unconditional, but people and relationships are not
April

United States

#17 Jun 12, 2013
Does ur husband know ur friends with ur x/husband??if yes how does feel about it???
sounds like amber

United States

#18 Jun 12, 2013
???
hmmm

Nashville, TN

#19 Jun 13, 2013
sooo wrote:
<quoted text>
Sorry. But I call BS. You CAN love 2 people at once, and for 2 totally different reasons. We aren't penguins. we are human and made to love. Love is unconditional, but people and relationships are not
I didnt say you could or couldnt love to ppl at once. Nor did i compare humans to birds.. the person that started this thread asked for advice. My point to her was to chose the second person. Plain and simple. Read next time before start throwing b/s around.
Love is not the problem

Madisonville, KY

#20 Jun 13, 2013
Unhappiness is not caused by lack of love. Lack of love is caused by unhappiness.

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