Husbsnd jealous of ex-boyfriend

Posted in the Owensboro Forum

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Doctors wife

Owensboro, KY

#1 Jul 7, 2012
How many women have husbands that are just obsessed with an ex boyfriend you had? I think it is unattractive and can't understand what the deal is??? It's been 5 years since I was with the ex, no contact, yet he is still obsessed with him, and hates a guy he never met, just because he used to be with me???? Anybody understand this??
pretty girl rock

United States

#2 Jul 7, 2012
He sounds really insecure.
Banker

Owensboro, KY

#3 Jul 7, 2012
I bet you talk in your sleep. Maybe he thinks he doesn't measure up. Seems like he is insecure at the very least, good luck with that.
just a guy

United States

#4 Jul 7, 2012
We all wonder how we stack up to the ex, whether it be husband or boyfriend. Most of us don't say anything but we are all thinking it , and i'm about as confident as they come,whether we are as big or doing it as good, but thats the only time we wonder, it's if you've had sex with them or not!
Nice

Owensboro, KY

#5 Jul 11, 2012
Very normal

“Don't read what's to the right”

Level 8

Since: Aug 11

Owensboro, KY

#6 Jul 11, 2012
Doctors wife wrote:
How many women have husbands that are just obsessed with an ex boyfriend you had? I think it is unattractive and can't understand what the deal is??? It's been 5 years since I was with the ex, no contact, yet he is still obsessed with him, and hates a guy he never met, just because he used to be with me???? Anybody understand this??
I understand this. Because I'm a guy, and I know how guys work. That dude is forever to be considered a threat. You might not talk to him right now, but I guarantee if your man discovered that you said one word to him that he would savagely beat him with such a beastly vigor you could never imagine. And rightly so. It is up to your ex to maintain a suitable distance from you or get get what's due for not doing so.
This is very elementary.
legit

United States

#7 Jul 11, 2012
drahos wrote:
<quoted text>
I understand this. Because I'm a guy, and I know how guys work. That dude is forever to be considered a threat. You might not talk to him right now, but I guarantee if your man discovered that you said one word to him that he would savagely beat him with such a beastly vigor you could never imagine. And rightly so. It is up to your ex to maintain a suitable distance from you or get get what's due for not doing so.
This is very elementary.
Couldn't have said it better myself.
Kitten

Owensboro, KY

#8 Jul 11, 2012
You guys sound intimidated and lacking in self confidence. How un-appealing.

“Don't read what's to the right”

Level 8

Since: Aug 11

Owensboro, KY

#9 Jul 11, 2012
Kitten wrote:
You guys sound intimidated and lacking in self confidence. How un-appealing.
That's not it at all. It has nothing to do with insecurity, intimidation, nor a lack of confidence. It has to do with the way things are. Men are predators and we're territorial. It's the same as in the animal kingdom, your estrogen is nothing compared to testosterone and you should be grateful.
Whether you agree with it or not is of no consequence. It is the law of man and if you don't like it perhaps you should look into becoming a lesbian.
DoctorS wife

Owensboro, KY

#10 Jul 11, 2012
drahos wrote:
<quoted text>
I understand this. Because I'm a guy, and I know how guys work. That dude is forever to be considered a threat. You might not talk to him right now, but I guarantee if your man discovered that you said one word to him that he would savagely beat him with such a beastly vigor you could never imagine. And rightly so. It is up to your ex to maintain a suitable distance from you or get get what's due for not doing so.
This is very elementary.
My ex bf is a lot bigger and more athletic than husband. Plus husband I am sure has never been in a fight. Anyway don't get it. If we pass him on the road he gets mad, if he hears his name he gets mad. Yet he never admits it. He acts like he is mad about something else. Oh well , I was just curious and didn't want to share this with friends because it is embarrassing .
Really

Pittsburgh, PA

#11 Jul 11, 2012
That's bullsh t. It's a security issue. Someone is lacking. I've been friends with my wife's ex husband for more than twenty years. And no, I didn't know this guy before her. We've never had an issue. We're friends together. Kids are involved. Adult kids. I've never felt the least bit intimidated or threatened. I'm confident in my security. And this guy is a good guy. For anyone to say that this childish jealous behavior is normal, is abnormal. Adults should have dumped that crap in high school. To cling to it is simply a matter of immaturity. Someone obsessing like this has greater problems than just an ex.
Really

Pittsburgh, PA

#12 Jul 11, 2012
A man should possess enough confidence to accept that she is with him because she chooses to be. If she chose otherwise, then it would be so. There are no guarantees. Treat your woman right and your woman will stay yours. If she won't, then she isn't what you need anyway. Bravado and all that macho crap won't change anything. Seen dudes screw up with that way too many times. A real woman wants to be cherished, protected, and loved, by her partner, mate, lover, and friend. I've yet to meet the real woman that wants to be possessed. Ain't saying not to protect her, but protection applies to a threat, not her past. It is the past that brought us to where we are.
idk

United States

#13 Jul 12, 2012
Its probably your fault somehow lol... Ive been like this plenty of times, theres probably some reason he feels threatned, have either of you ever cheated on the other or do you or the ex have a rep for cheating in the past, that'd do it... But if he does feel insecure its not just about himself, he'd also have to feel insecure about your relationship, so thats prob just gonna get worse... Dont think i helped any all pretty negaitve i must be sleepy
torn

Owensboro, KY

#14 Jul 12, 2012
i totally know this feeling, my husband is jealous of my deceased ex husband, the man died several yrs ago and cannot stand for his name to be brought up. My child is not allowed to talk about her father around my new husband and it really pisses me off. I love my husband very much but he has some serious issues with jealousy. I will never tell my child that they cannot speak of her deceased father he was a great man.
rainbow brite

United States

#15 Jul 12, 2012
torn wrote:
i totally know this feeling, my husband is jealous of my deceased ex husband, the man died several yrs ago and cannot stand for his name to be brought up. My child is not allowed to talk about her father around my new husband and it really pisses me off. I love my husband very much but he has some serious issues with jealousy. I will never tell my child that they cannot speak of her deceased father he was a great man.
You need to divorce him, that's sick.

“Don't read what's to the right”

Level 8

Since: Aug 11

Owensboro, KY

#16 Jul 12, 2012
DoctorS wife wrote:
<quoted text>My ex bf is a lot bigger and more athletic than husband. Plus husband I am sure has never been in a fight. Anyway don't get it. If we pass him on the road he gets mad, if he hears his name he gets mad. Yet he never admits it. He acts like he is mad about something else. Oh well , I was just curious and didn't want to share this with friends because it is embarrassing .
I didn't realize it was to that extent; that is sort of childish. But he's still your husband, I'm sure it would be great if you could just talk it over with him but I doubt that will ever happen. If he gets that defensive just passing him on the road then there's no way he's going to have a reasonable conversation on why it makes him feel that way. Some form of moderator would be necessary, psychotherapist or what have you, but I don't know if that would be something in which he would participate. But he certainly needs to assess why it causes him to feel that way and overcome it. I think you should voice your concerns to him about this, because by not doing anything I wouldn't call it enabling, but it's still not providing negative feedback to let him know you disagree with, or are concerned by, his reaction.
Best of luck.:)
Kate

Saint Joseph, MO

#17 May 4, 2013
My Ex Boyfriend Jason Speegle is very very jealous of my Husband the New Madrid fault line
geez

United States

#18 May 4, 2013
Insecurity
ILBAJ

United States

#20 May 4, 2013
My fiance is like that. We're both very protective of each other. I love feeling like I'm his property. Most women hate it, but the way we see it is that if you choose to be with someone, you belong to that person. I dont wear clothes he doesn't want me to wear (booty shorts, etc.) because I'm his & he doesn't want other guys to see his goods. I think its romantic. If you're not ready to be totally commited to someone, don't get married.
Kate

Saint Joseph, MO

#21 May 4, 2013
My Ex Boyfriend Jason Speegle said he will stick a power washer up in-between and kill me with a Tsunami Tonight

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