can abusive men change?

can abusive men change?

Posted in the Owensboro Forum

TNJ

Chicago, IL

#1 Jul 8, 2013
You leave a relationship because of constant fighting (minor physical) and very hurtful words, accusations with a constant reminder of past mistakes. Can they change and not do these things anymore?
I know

Owensboro, KY

#2 Jul 8, 2013
Not without on-going counseling. YOur talking about a deeply engrained behavior and ways of responding to stress. It's remotely possible, but highly unlikely.
Probably not

Owensboro, KY

#3 Jul 8, 2013
What kind of past mistakes?
Cheating = no
Zero trust = no

Therapy is a waste of money
Experienced

United States

#4 Jul 8, 2013
No. They can tell you they'll change and sorry yada yada yada but honestly that's part of the domestic violence cycle. They may change for the first month and try to be better, but slowly you'll notice him slipping back into his old habits. An insult here, controlling behavior on occasion and then increased to verbal aggression daily until finally it's back to physical. That's how the DV cycle works. Change is only temporary so be strong enough to walk away!
yes they can

Louisville, KY

#5 Jul 8, 2013
They can change how they hit you. Like from their left hand to their right hand,foot,elbow or push u into a door or smash your hand in a car door ect
Been There

Owensboro, KY

#6 Jul 8, 2013
I have been going through this for quite some time. Split up for a long time and got back together. I thought it was great because he didn't put his hands on me but the controlling behavior and everything having to be done his way never changed. Just now got out and will never let him come back. Regret wasting more years of my life with him. Everyone can tell you what you already know just like in my situation but you'll never be truly done with it until he does something that hurts you too bad to even think of him or you realize you will spend the rest of your life miserable as long as your with him. I'm now away from him and realize how much time I've wasted and everything I gave up for him. If you can relate to this story then you probably already know what you should do. Good luck.
doubt

Owensboro, KY

#7 Jul 8, 2013
No they wont
Run

Chicago, IL

#8 Jul 8, 2013
Get as far away as fast you can. You're wasting your time and energy trying to get them to change. Seen this exact same scenario countless times, it ALWAYS ends up the same
cray

Owensboro, KY

#9 Jul 9, 2013
yes

Owensboro, KY

#10 Jul 9, 2013
With a lot of work they can change, but only if they truly want to. It's not easy. But possible.
depressed

United States

#11 Jul 9, 2013
I was that guy. But when ur girls constantly f*cks up over n over again and there were lies from the start to the end...its hard what to believe what comes outta their mouth..then when u start trusting again it turns back into same thing. She would make the anger come out in me like crazy fuc**n with my head and *hit, never physical tho
Michael B

Owensboro, KY

#12 Jul 9, 2013
Get the hell out of there. The sooner the better. It doesn't get better. It gets worse.
I know

United States

#13 Jul 9, 2013
depressed wrote:
I was that guy. But when ur girls constantly f*cks up over n over again and there were lies from the start to the end...its hard what to believe what comes outta their mouth..then when u start trusting again it turns back into same thing. She would make the anger come out in me like crazy fuc**n with my head and *hit, never physical tho
<<<<<this guy displays perfectly why they can't change. They do not take responsibility for their actions. Someone else always drove them to it.

Level 6

Since: Mar 13

Location hidden

#14 Jul 10, 2013
When someone keeps doing the same crap its hard to forget about the past.
konspiracy theoree

Richmond, KY

#15 Jul 10, 2013
A frying pan during the night can change anything! He will always be watching you!!!

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