lovinmykids

Owensboro, KY

#1 Oct 4, 2012
So my mom seems to think that me being a single mom with 2 kids under the age of 4, that my home should be spotless all day every day. If there are crumbs on the kitchen table from the kids, a laundry basket should never be full, if a pillow on the couch is on the floor, or if there are more than one dish in the sink.. then I'm a Terrible mother for having such a filthy house for my kids! I've tried to explain to her that things are hard to be perfect every day, especially when I work alot of hours. And it seems that in my spare time, I'm doing more cleaning than anything else, and I feel that I don't need to put all extra time into it, I would rather build a fort in the middle of my living room with my kids, but she doesn't agree. Then she tries to say that if anything ever happened and if a professional ever comes in my home that they would probably take my kids away! It's really ridiculous because my home is clean and just because I put off doing the few extras to hang with my kids, she calls me a bad mom. We argue alot over this and I don't know how to tell her to back off because she helps me alot since I'm a single mother. Kind of at a loss of words and not really sure what to do! Any suggestions??
I know

Hartford, KY

#2 Oct 4, 2012
If your kids are protected, fed, clothed, healthy, and kept safe, no professional is going to take them away. They are only protecting kids from danger. Now if you couldn't get through your house because of stuff strung all over the place, maybe. They don't want to take your kids away. Just take the fort down before bed time I guess. Lol
been there

Saint Paul, MN

#3 Oct 4, 2012
my mom is the same way- i quit inviting her over and i rarely spoke to her and she figured it out real quick. it was tough, but it works! Shes always like, you need to clean out your refrigerator, you need to clean that dust off your fan, you need to do this, do that, pick up those toys, blahhh its old and annoying.. If she can't get the point across be drastic
Smh

Owensboro, KY

#4 Oct 4, 2012
My mom does it too! Idc! I'm married and have help and my home isn't spotless! My kids are also under 4, it's almost impossible to keep your home "spotless" with little ones! Tell her to take them to her house, work, and be a single mom! Lets see how much time she gets to spend with them, while keepin it spotless!
a mom

United States

#5 Oct 4, 2012
My mom did that once. I told her she was welcome to come and clean my house anytime she wanted. If your house really isn't dirty and it's just a few things, don't worry about it.
What topics is this

Paducah, KY

#6 Oct 4, 2012
Ignore her. She's your mother. Mothers were made to be ignored. If she gets you upset, you aren't ignoring her enough.

Level 1

Since: Sep 12

Location hidden

#7 Oct 4, 2012
Having a dirty home and a messy home are two different things. If your home has toys in the floor, few dishes in the sink...that kind of thing it is probably just messy.
Dirty is having visible trash/fecies in sight, having sink full of dishes, food laying around, bugs, etc...
Your home cannot be a fire hazard (there has to be a clear path and walkways to doors)
Trash should be taken out regularly (not visibly piled up)
Nothing that can harm the children should be laying around (weapons, pill bottles, sharp objects, cleaning supplies that could harm them)
Outlets should have covers on them (I am not talking about baby proof covers, just the regular covers that go on them)
They need to have a clean/sanitary place to sleep with a pillow and blanket.
That is all I can think of at the moment...hope that helps
true story

Fredonia, KY

#8 Oct 4, 2012
lovinmykids wrote:
So my mom seems to think that me being a single mom with 2 kids under the age of 4, that my home should be spotless all day every day. If there are crumbs on the kitchen table from the kids, a laundry basket should never be full, if a pillow on the couch is on the floor, or if there are more than one dish in the sink.. then I'm a Terrible mother for having such a filthy house for my kids! I've tried to explain to her that things are hard to be perfect every day, especially when I work alot of hours. And it seems that in my spare time, I'm doing more cleaning than anything else, and I feel that I don't need to put all extra time into it, I would rather build a fort in the middle of my living room with my kids, but she doesn't agree. Then she tries to say that if anything ever happened and if a professional ever comes in my home that they would probably take my kids away! It's really ridiculous because my home is clean and just because I put off doing the few extras to hang with my kids, she calls me a bad mom. We argue alot over this and I don't know how to tell her to back off because she helps me alot since I'm a single mother. Kind of at a loss of words and not really sure what to do! Any suggestions??
tell her to take the stick out her a$$. You will drive yourself nuts trying to maintain a spotless home. Enjoy your kids while they are young because they are only young once. You have the rest of your life to keep or spotless home. And then again, I'd it bothers her thst much she could come to your house and keep it clean. Lol
lovinmykids

Owensboro, KY

#10 Oct 4, 2012
Yeah my home is a normal sometimes slightly messy home that two little boys live in! There is no actual filth aside from the random sticky messes that get found, but as soon as they are found it gets clean! Trash gets taken out every time it gets full, which is often! No bugs at all except for the occasional cricket or spider. Laundry gets done once a week. I always stay stocked up on Clorox wipes! The only thing ever really messy about my home is the random toys, a piece of clothing here and there in the bedrooms, a few dishes in the sink, and a little dust here and there! I've tried to talk to her and It just gets old because im an adult and pay my own bills, so I should be able to live how I want. She thinks the tiny messiness are filth! She even comes over and will start cleaning things and I always tell her to stop, that ill get it later, but she never stops. Then complains about having to do it... but she doesn't have to do it!!!
ginger

Charlotte, NC

#11 Oct 6, 2012
Your mom is probably right cause I have been in trouble w/ social services before (someone called) and the first thing she wrote on the report was how clean or not clean my house was.
parent

Owensboro, KY

#12 Oct 6, 2012
I spent a majority of my childhood cleaning and doing chores around the house. Christmas day I was required to clean my room and put my new toys away before I could play with them. I'm thankful I was able to have a Christmas and stuff (could've been worse) but I never had quality time with my parents. If a parent was home, we couldn't even sit still with an activity for more than 15 mins w/o being told to go clean or something. I spent a lot of time hiding in my room.
Now that I have kids of my own, its completely different. The laundry can wait a day, the bed doesn't have to be made, the toothpaste tube can sit on the sink. We do clean but I'd rather spend time with the family then have folded towels that will end up in the hamper 3 days later.
Now if you have creepy crawlies, smelly garbage, moldy food in the fridge and so on, well that's just gross!

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