My opinion only

United States

#61 Mar 21, 2013
okkk wrote:
That's wrong. my bd is like 3000 behind and we go to court like evey cpl months. as long as he pays wen or before we go they wnt put him in jaiil. its not a felony, if that wss the case 75% of men in town wld b felons
<quoted text>
OK I think I apologized for being wrong on this one already!! It has been YEARS since I had to worry bout receiving child support but when I did $1,000 behind was a felony & they would put them in jail for that then. I'm sure, as I'm hearing, that things have changed over the years.
My opinion only

United States

#62 Mar 21, 2013
Ok so here it is...a parent who receives social security for a child has to keep receipts to prove that the money is being spent on the child. That includes groceries, doctors, utility bills, clothes, & yes extracurricular activities that child may want to do. So with that being said, y shouldn't mothers/fathers who receive child support have to do the same thing? It's a fact that several parents spend the child's support on cigarettes & drugs. U can't say then don't have children with someone like that cuz mayb they weren't like that when they first met. Let's b realistic about it please. My husband pays child support & yes he has been behind when he was in between jobs, it happens. Doesn't make him a loser cuz he was paying what he could when he could, which means he payed every couple of weeks. What good would it have done to throw him in jail cuz then she wouldn't get anything. Can't work or look for work while in jail. Now those people who r not paying anything & making no attempt to, then jail might b the answer for them. Child support is a tricky subject to discuss. The system will never b without fault but u have to look at each individual case cuz they're not all the same, circumstances r different. I commend those parents who can work it out amongst themselves however, sometimes u have one parent who is uncooperative & it's just not possible. I pray for anyone having to fight this system, I did for years & it's simply exhausting.
Hey

Union Star, KY

#63 Mar 24, 2013
Men aren't the only gender who has to pay child support and there are women who do the same! I'm against the term "dead beat dad" because I have seen more "dead beat moms" in my lifetime! Just me, I guess!

The system is a failure! The punishment of jail time for not paying child support only supports not paying child support! Until that is changed, which apparently it won't, I wouldn't go through the system to get child support! I don't know the answer, but I'd rather not get child support while waiting for a person to get a job or decide to help than not get child support because jail is preventing it! That law ruins lives forever and the balance can never be caught as it's adding up while in jail! What is the point? To punish and motivate? If jail is the answer then the monthly child support amount should stop accumulating while in jail! The amount owed prior to first day in jail be the only amount owed and once out of jail that time forward counts, but not while in jail! I am against jail totally for child support issues, but if ever to support it this would have to change!
shame

Tucker, GA

#64 Mar 24, 2013
really wrote:
<quoted text>
Is $5k a lot of money? That's how much I paid for the car I just bought. Could we give our kids more with that money? Yes. It is a complete insult for her not to pay. If someone owed you that kinda money, would you be complaining?
Heres what ur not getting... It isnt owed to u! It isnt ur money. It belongs to the kids.
sara
#65 Mar 24, 2013
As far as documenting where support is spent, My childrens father only pays a little here and there. If i depend on that money for anything then i am screwed when it does not come. I use child support as extra cash to take the kids to a movie or out to eat because it rarely comes. He owes me 9000 in back support. Ive always taken care of my kids and made up for his lack of finacial support so the way i see it he is paying me back his half.
music

Owensboro, KY

#66 Mar 24, 2013
it is going on the kids but do u all know how much it takes to take care of the kids no if u pay o 200.00 hundred dollars in child support a month do u thank that will take care of them the hole month if the kid is 14 years old no it will not the kid will eat and eat they grown and grown out of their cloths to fast yes the parents have to but more money out of their pocket so you parents just dont care if you dont pay the other parents or not you all need to be in jail yes it goes for mothers and the fathers i am not just butting it on the fathers there is mothers out there that dont pay to and needs to be in jail if they cant pay their child support
really

Owensboro, KY

#67 Mar 24, 2013
shame wrote:
<quoted text>
Heres what ur not getting... It isnt owed to u! It isnt ur money. It belongs to the kids.
Are you kidding?

No. It belongs to me and my husband because we've had to foot the bills completely, without help, for everything the kids need. They don't go with out. So, it is paying us back for using all of our money to provide for our family without her help. Understand?

And jail is a place for people that break the law. Child support orders thru the court are required to be followed, or you are breaking the law. Pay the child support, and you won't be breaking the law and you won't go to jail.
Rob

Tucker, GA

#68 Mar 24, 2013
really wrote:
<quoted text>
Are you kidding?
No. It belongs to me and my husband because we've had to foot the bills completely, without help, for everything the kids need. They don't go with out. So, it is paying us back for using all of our money to provide for our family without her help. Understand?
And jail is a place for people that break the law. Child support orders thru the court are required to be followed, or you are breaking the law. Pay the child support, and you won't be breaking the law and you won't go to jail.
"Foot the bills"? Wow so your children burden your ability to pay bills so the other parent "owes" you because you made the decision to lay down, got pregnant and left the father. You are pathetic!

My child's father choose to walk away from her. His loss! But instead of running off to child support court, I accepted FULL financial responsibility because I CHOOSE to sleep with him and she was the end result. If you cannot afford your child on your own income then you don't need them. Child support is to help raise the child...not blow it "replacing money you spent" our of your checks that you wanted to use on yourself. My sons dad voluntarily pays support. We opened an account and when he turns 18 it's his to put towards school. I know it's there and can access it to "care" for him but I'm not greedy and I raise my children within my budget means. If you can't do the same then your failing your children!
really

Owensboro, KY

#69 Mar 24, 2013
Rob wrote:
<quoted text>
"Foot the bills"? Wow so your children burden your ability to pay bills so the other parent "owes" you because you made the decision to lay down, got pregnant and left the father. You are pathetic!
My child's father choose to walk away from her. His loss! But instead of running off to child support court, I accepted FULL financial responsibility because I CHOOSE to sleep with him and she was the end result. If you cannot afford your child on your own income then you don't need them. Child support is to help raise the child...not blow it "replacing money you spent" our of your checks that you wanted to use on yourself. My sons dad voluntarily pays support. We opened an account and when he turns 18 it's his to put towards school. I know it's there and can access it to "care" for him but I'm not greedy and I raise my children within my budget means. If you can't do the same then your failing your children!
You're an absolute idiot who obviously has read a damn word I have written. My husband's ex wife is $5k behind in child support, and I am a stepmother. So, I don't think I had children I couldn't afford...so your entire post is just completely off base. Next time, read before you open your mouth.
on point

United States

#71 Mar 24, 2013
What many of you don't seem to understand is the fact that "support"ing a child includes feeding them, clothing them, putting a roof over their head, paying for extra-curricular activities, etc. Child support doesn't mean that if you pay $500/month that all $500 should be seen in that child's clothes, shoes, physical appearance, etc. Granted it doesn't take $500/month to raise a child from EACH parent so I can understand some of the arguments. But, if you are an involved non-custodial parent (as all should be), the amount of child support can be lowered based on involvement and how often you have your children. I know this for a fact because my child support was just cut in 1/2. That's right, cut in half...because I have my child much more than the standard visitation schedule. And the courts are leaning more towards the father than they used to. If you want more time with your child/children, fight for it! Talking about it on topix isn't solving a thing.
ew weeee

Tucker, GA

#72 Mar 25, 2013
Ure jus pissy cuz theyre not urs n u love him n have
To help support kids that arent urs bc of their mother... Well thats ir husbands baggage hunny. Same situation applies to him... If he couldnt support him alone then he shouldnt have made them. Shit happens. Chalk it up as a loss and move on already damn. The kids dont do without. & NOT everyone does the right thing in anything not jus support. Expect to raise ur kids alone. Dont feel as if the world owes u something back. Sad. There is and has been single parents out there who do fine. & God knows our government offers enough assistance for some help. But if the other parent isnt involved financially then owell. Take care of ur kids and get gratification from them. Not money. They will know when they r olde.
thebest

Tucker, GA

#73 Mar 25, 2013
on point wrote:
What many of you don't seem to understand is the fact that "support"ing a child includes feeding them, clothing them, putting a roof over their head, paying for extra-curricular activities, etc. Child support doesn't mean that if you pay $500/month that all $500 should be seen in that child's clothes, shoes, physical appearance, etc. Granted it doesn't take $500/month to raise a child from EACH parent so I can understand some of the arguments. But, if you are an involved non-custodial parent (as all should be), the amount of child support can be lowered based on involvement and how often you have your children. I know this for a fact because my child support was just cut in 1/2. That's right, cut in half...because I have my child much more than the standard visitation schedule. And the courts are leaning more towards the father than they used to. If you want more time with your child/children, fight for it! Talking about it on topix isn't solving a thing.
Hey im goin thru the same thing but the mom wont let me see her as much as i want. I work alot and need her to work arnd my work schedule and she dont or she.com plains the whole time. We have joint custody but rite now i pay over 400 a month and she only lets me see her once a week. Did u get a lawyer? If so which one?
ew weeee

Tucker, GA

#74 Mar 25, 2013
Rob wrote:
<quoted text>
"Foot the bills"? Wow so your children burden your ability to pay bills so the other parent "owes" you because you made the decision to lay down, got pregnant and left the father. You are pathetic!
My child's father choose to walk away from her. His loss! But instead of running off to child support court, I accepted FULL financial responsibility because I CHOOSE to sleep with him and she was the end result. If you cannot afford your child on your own income then you don't need them. Child support is to help raise the child...not blow it "replacing money you spent" our of your checks that you wanted to use on yourself. My sons dad voluntarily pays support. We opened an account and when he turns 18 it's his to put towards school. I know it's there and can access it to "care" for him but I'm not greedy and I raise my children within my budget means. If you can't do the same then your failing your children!
AMEN AMEN AMEN. Couldnt have said it better.
the joker

United States

#75 Mar 25, 2013
Child support...really? This argument will NEVER end because theres those who have to pay it and do.
Those who have to pay it and don't
those who recieve it and do
those who are supposed to recieve it and don't

Dont say "well u laid down and spread ur legs so you should take full repaonsibility" cause its not like the women hope on the d/ck and the guy was trying to sleep. Its called pre mature ejaculation which most of you do. Or..they were both sumb and didnt use protection. Hole in condom..or a planned baby. You dont know the atory so dont open ur mouth.
The non custodial parents obligation is to support their child whether they want anything to do with their kid or not. If its 100-800+ dollars a month so be it. Its based off income. The way the state sees it..the custodial parent has to pay for everything that child needs whether its their money or yours and if you dont send it on time its almost like paying that custodial parent back on your half of the support. If they use it on bills its a roof over their head and it really shouldnt matter. If the kid has everything they need then dont f-kng worry about it.
Either way its going towards the kid. And if it isnt and you have proof then call childsupport with ur suspicions. Instead of whine on forums all day about how unfair it is. There are mothers out there where the dad has left her..and shes left alone to support their child which is a mothers duty. And is that fair?? No.
Lifes unfair sh*t happens so pay up and quit crying
joke

Owensboro, KY

#76 Mar 25, 2013
Lifes unfair so quit thinkin something should be promised to u. & like ive said... I pay 100% support while the mother is a at 0% and the mother gets 60$ rent and utilities, max foodstamps, wic, & free car from a church. Her mother pays her insurance and her cellphone bill. So ure tellin me i should shut up and pay my 450 a month for what? Diapers, wipes and clothes? & she stilll comes to me every month sayin my daughter needs tylenol or diapers or whatever. Get the fuck outta here. I work too damn hard for fuckin child support. Not bc i dont wanna take care of my child but bc the systems a fuckin joke. Too many whinin ass lazy parents in the system. Who wanna use their children as paychecks. Pathetic. But for u to say get off the site n quit complaining... Thats what this site is for. Dont like it... Dont read it & do us all a favor and dont comment. U sound like ur complaining cuz u got screwed over by ya man. Tough shit. Work for u n ur kid. Who gives a fuck abt them whether they payin r not. Bottom line. Their lose not ur kids. People need to stop feelin like something is owed to them.
parents

Owensboro, KY

#77 Mar 25, 2013
some parents r just selfish and just dont care about their self y do they care about their kids they dont if they dont pay child support parents u all just put ur selfish needs beside u and but ur kids first that is a parent a real parent i pay my child support and more i pay 1005.00 a month and if my child want something like food and they did not have what she want it at the time i went out and got it myself if they parents ask for more money after they got their child support i would not give it to them now if the parents ask me the kids needs something like baby wipes i would go out and get them for the parent i just would not hand money to the parent
the joker

United States

#78 Mar 26, 2013
No the forumbhas better purposes for sh*t not contain a forum for a bunch of crybaby babydaddys who are mad cuz their money is being used for their kid. Whaaaa whaaaa whaaa..the whole system might be f*cked up but i really cant see u doing anything about it but pay what u owe. So this forum isnt gonna change a f*kng thing.
mommyof3

United States

#79 Mar 26, 2013
Ok he has a point. His childs mother gets all that and cant even support her own kid. I mean cmon. The kid should be living with u. 450 is MORE than enough to buy diapers and freakng tylenol. A bag of 60ct is ten dollars at the dollar store! And tylenol? Like 4 dollars? So thats 14 out of 450? What u need to do is call csupport office and ask for a review. Tell them u dont think shes using ur hard earned money for ur kid. It is based on income tho. So if she doesnt have a job and u do ..the more u have to pay unfortunantly. Thats y some parents live of chldsupport. And its pathetic. I have a full time job and the father of my child still has to pay 288 but at least its not 450 because he makes good money. And he doesnt even pay anything but once every couple of months. So all my money supports her. And im fine with that. He wants nothing to do with her and thats fine too cuz personally i dont trust him. But regardless he should chip in at least 100 a month but he cant even do that. If i depended on csupport money like sum of these other parents id be f*cked.
joke

Owensboro, KY

#80 Mar 26, 2013
mommyof3 wrote:
Ok he has a point. His childs mother gets all that and cant even support her own kid. I mean cmon. The kid should be living with u. 450 is MORE than enough to buy diapers and freakng tylenol. A bag of 60ct is ten dollars at the dollar store! And tylenol? Like 4 dollars? So thats 14 out of 450? What u need to do is call csupport office and ask for a review. Tell them u dont think shes using ur hard earned money for ur kid. It is based on income tho. So if she doesnt have a job and u do ..the more u have to pay unfortunantly. Thats y some parents live of chldsupport. And its pathetic. I have a full time job and the father of my child still has to pay 288 but at least its not 450 because he makes good money. And he doesnt even pay anything but once every couple of months. So all my money supports her. And im fine with that. He wants nothing to do with her and thats fine too cuz personally i dont trust him. But regardless he should chip in at least 100 a month but he cant even do that. If i depended on csupport money like sum of these other parents id be f*cked.
Thats all im sayin. Its messed up that the state of KY says a mother is at 0% which means she doesnt have to work until the kid is 4. Bc now my 450 supports my daughter & her deadbeat mom & her other lil girl bc she wont gt childsupport from her father. & i have a son of my own at home i have to support. I think she needs to live wit me also bc i want her n i can get my child out and off government assistance
really

Owensboro, KY

#81 Mar 26, 2013
ew weeee wrote:
Ure jus pissy cuz theyre not urs n u love him n have
To help support kids that arent urs bc of their mother... Well thats ir husbands baggage hunny. Same situation applies to him... If he couldnt support him alone then he shouldnt have made them. Shit happens. Chalk it up as a loss and move on already damn. The kids dont do without. & NOT everyone does the right thing in anything not jus support. Expect to raise ur kids alone. Dont feel as if the world owes u something back. Sad. There is and has been single parents out there who do fine. & God knows our government offers enough assistance for some help. But if the other parent isnt involved financially then owell. Take care of ur kids and get gratification from them. Not money. They will know when they r olde.
But you're wrong. They are mine. I make sure they get get to school, are fed, take care of them when they are sick...they may not be mine biologically, but I am their mom, and they will realize it when they are older. And I'm mad because I work hard to support all of the kids, my biological child and my step children, as does my husband. He gave their mother plenty of time to step up and do something for the kids she completely neglected, and she didn't even get a job. Now she owes $5k to us for child support, and she's having another baby, even though she doesn't take care of her first two, and my husband and I try to be responsible, but would love to have a child together, and we can't because we know we aren't in the financial situation to do so. Yes, of course life isn't fair. This is proof. But don't pretend to understand me or my situation. You don't. And yet still, a parent should support their children, regardless.

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