im i that bad of a wife/ mother?

im i that bad of a wife/ mother?

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mad yet

White Plains, KY

#1 Jun 11, 2012
I've been with my husband since 1998. We have 3 children And I'm a stay at home mom. I'm not the best housekeeper in the world but the house is clean the laundry is done and supper is on the table most of the time. I just don't understand no matter what I do it doesn't make him happy. Nothing makes him happy. I don't ask for much nothing expensive little things make me happy just to hear that I love you and a hug and kiss every once in awhile would be nice. but if you ask him I'm the bad guy I'm lazy I'm a bitch and im the reason why we don't have any money. Smallest child is 4 years old that's the reason why i don't work. childcare is so expensive we could not afford it. She will start school this fall and I'll be able to go back to work until now I'm nothing but a piece of shit and it's all my fault. And for you smart asses before you ask yes we do have sex when he wants to. he could not see that times are hard. if we run short on money my family is the 1 that bailed us out. so am I that bad of a mother or a wife? I don't run around I don't drink I don't cheat i staying home 24/7 and take care of my kids and try to make him happy. I do however do odd jobs at my parents house for money. I jus wanna be treated like I should be. my heart is breaking and I'm tired of crying over him.
Little Voice in Your Head

White Plains, KY

#2 Jun 11, 2012
Sounds like you need a little fun on the side. Try AshleyMadison.com
sorry

Owensboro, KY

#3 Jun 11, 2012
mad yet wrote:
I've been with my husband since 1998. We have 3 children And I'm a stay at home mom. I'm not the best housekeeper in the world but the house is clean the laundry is done and supper is on the table most of the time. I just don't understand no matter what I do it doesn't make him happy. Nothing makes him happy. I don't ask for much nothing expensive little things make me happy just to hear that I love you and a hug and kiss every once in awhile would be nice. but if you ask him I'm the bad guy I'm lazy I'm a bitch and im the reason why we don't have any money. Smallest child is 4 years old that's the reason why i don't work. childcare is so expensive we could not afford it. She will start school this fall and I'll be able to go back to work until now I'm nothing but a piece of shit and it's all my fault. And for you smart asses before you ask yes we do have sex when he wants to. he could not see that times are hard. if we run short on money my family is the 1 that bailed us out. so am I that bad of a mother or a wife? I don't run around I don't drink I don't cheat i staying home 24/7 and take care of my kids and try to make him happy. I do however do odd jobs at my parents house for money. I jus wanna be treated like I should be. my heart is breaking and I'm tired of crying over him.
I don't think you sound like a bad mother/wife. It sounds like he's one of those people who want to blame others all the time.

“I'm all his!!!”

Level 2

Since: Jun 12

Location hidden

#4 Jun 11, 2012
When men get stressed out over a situation, they tend to lash out. They aren't like women in the regards of us wanting to talk out our frustrations, men tend to hold them in and try to deal with them all by themselves. This often leads to an angry grumpy man and I can assure you that when they get like that nothing you do is ever going to be good enough.

My advice, don't take it personal because it isn't.

Be understanding even though it's hard to do sometimes.

DO NOT ask him to talk to you about it, if he wanted to talk to you about it he would bring it up himself, it's only going to make him more angry.

DO NOT throw up in his face that your parents are the one that help you guys out financially. That is the WORST thing you could ever do to a man. That is the biggest no no ever. He will only resent you more for this. If your parents give you money for the work you do phrase it like this "I worked today doing _____ and made _____" DO NOT mention your parents at all, it's like cutting a guys d!ck off when he is reminded that he has to have help supporting his family. And your parents giving you odd and end jobs probably just makes the situation worse because he feels like they are only doing it because he can't take care and provide for his family.

Just be there, be patient and keep it between you and him. Really, he is probably only belittling you because he feels belittled by you going to your parents for help. I know that you are only trying to help relieve some burden and that's great of you, you just have to watch how you word it and how you present the situation to him.

Hope this helps.
Friend

Owensboro, KY

#5 Jun 11, 2012
mad yet wrote:
I've been with my husband since 1998. We have 3 children And I'm a stay at home mom. I'm not the best housekeeper in the world but the house is clean the laundry is done and supper is on the table most of the time. I just don't understand no matter what I do it doesn't make him happy. Nothing makes him happy. I don't ask for much nothing expensive little things make me happy just to hear that I love you and a hug and kiss every once in awhile would be nice. but if you ask him I'm the bad guy I'm lazy I'm a bitch and im the reason why we don't have any money. Smallest child is 4 years old that's the reason why i don't work. childcare is so expensive we could not afford it. She will start school this fall and I'll be able to go back to work until now I'm nothing but a piece of shit and it's all my fault. And for you smart asses before you ask yes we do have sex when he wants to. he could not see that times are hard. if we run short on money my family is the 1 that bailed us out. so am I that bad of a mother or a wife? I don't run around I don't drink I don't cheat i staying home 24/7 and take care of my kids and try to make him happy. I do however do odd jobs at my parents house for money. I jus wanna be treated like I should be. my heart is breaking and I'm tired of crying over him.
I want you to get a book, The Power of The Praying Wife. Read that book and it will help you. Don't listen to the people that post on here with stupid suggestions about cheating or whatever they say. I am sorry to hear that you are hurting. Many, many people are in the same boat. You should be admired for your dedication to him and for holding your vows in a high place. Keep doing that, I don't know if you are a religious person or not. I promise this book will help. Your husband sounds like he has a "hardened heart", my situationjh was very similiar. We made it through and our marrriage is stronger than ever. Don't look outside of the marriage to make you feel better, if you are not going to church I highly suggest you do that as well. Good luck and I will be praying for you.
mad yet

White Plains, KY

#6 Jun 11, 2012
Novocainesgirl wrote:
When men get stressed out over a situation, they tend to lash out. They aren't like women in the regards of us wanting to talk out our frustrations, men tend to hold them in and try to deal with them all by themselves. This often leads to an angry grumpy man and I can assure you that when they get like that nothing you do is ever going to be good enough.
My advice, don't take it personal because it isn't.
Be understanding even though it's hard to do sometimes.
DO NOT ask him to talk to you about it, if he wanted to talk to you about it he would bring it up himself, it's only going to make him more angry.
DO NOT throw up in his face that your parents are the one that help you guys out financially. That is the WORST thing you could ever do to a man. That is the biggest no no ever. He will only resent you more for this. If your parents give you money for the work you do phrase it like this "I worked today doing _____ and made _____" DO NOT mention your parents at all, it's like cutting a guys d!ck off when he is reminded that he has to have help supporting his family. And your parents giving you odd and end jobs probably just makes the situation worse because he feels like they are only doing it because he can't take care and provide for his family.
Just be there, be patient and keep it between you and him. Really, he is probably only belittling you because he feels belittled by you going to your parents for help. I know that you are only trying to help relieve some burden and that's great of you, you just have to watch how you word it and how you present the situation to him.
Hope this helps.

I should just let him talk to me the kids like were dogs. and hope it gets better?
mad yet

White Plains, KY

#7 Jun 11, 2012
Friend wrote:
<quoted text>
I want you to get a book, The Power of The Praying Wife. Read that book and it will help you. Don't listen to the people that post on here with stupid suggestions about cheating or whatever they say. I am sorry to hear that you are hurting. Many, many people are in the same boat. You should be admired for your dedication to him and for holding your vows in a high place. Keep doing that, I don't know if you are a religious person or not. I promise this book will help. Your husband sounds like he has a "hardened heart", my situationjh was very similiar. We made it through and our marrriage is stronger than ever. Don't look outside of the marriage to make you feel better, if you are not going to church I highly suggest you do that as well. Good luck and I will be praying for you.
We have tried church every time we go something happen. the last time we went the guy he was working for fired him before church started. I cant get him to go he doesn't believe in anything. he lost both of his parents before the age of 30. He says if there is a god this how could he have done that to me. I'm just tired of everything being my fault.
sorry

Owensboro, KY

#8 Jun 11, 2012
mad yet wrote:
<quoted text>I should just let him talk to me the kids like were dogs. and hope it gets better?
He needs help. You both need therapy. It's a useful tool to work out what's bothering him and you on a safe, non-judgemental environment. Do you think he would agree to trying counseling?
what a joke

Owensboro, KY

#9 Jun 11, 2012
Novocainesgirl wrote:
When men get stressed out over a situation, they tend to lash out. They aren't like women in the regards of us wanting to talk out our frustrations, men tend to hold them in and try to deal with them all by themselves. This often leads to an angry grumpy man and I can assure you that when they get like that nothing you do is ever going to be good enough.

My advice, don't take it personal because it isn't.

Be understanding even though it's hard to do sometimes.

DO NOT ask him to talk to you about it, if he wanted to talk to you about it he would bring it up himself, it's only going to make him more angry.

DO NOT throw up in his face that your parents are the one that help you guys out financially. That is the WORST thing you could ever do to a man. That is the biggest no no ever. He will only resent you more for this. If your parents give you money for the work you do phrase it like this "I worked today doing _____ and made _____" DO NOT mention your parents at all, it's like cutting a guys d!ck off when he is reminded that he has to have help supporting his family. And your parents giving you odd and end jobs probably just makes the situation worse because he feels like they are only doing it because he can't take care and provide for his family.

Just be there, be patient and keep it between you and him. Really, he is probably only belittling you because he feels belittled by you going to your parents for help. I know that you are only trying to help relieve some burden and that's great of you, you just have to watch how you word it and how you present the situation to him.

Hope this helps.
You are such a joke. She needs to tell him to be a man and grow the hell up or leave his ass. No person should have to deal with that kind of person every day. You could get a life as well. I don't get on here much but when I do you are always on here.

“I'm all his!!!”

Level 2

Since: Jun 12

Location hidden

#10 Jun 11, 2012
mad yet wrote:
<quoted text>
I should just let him talk to me the kids like were dogs. and hope it gets better?
Nothing is going to change over night. He's going to continue to do that until his mood improves, if you don't want to deal with it, the harsh truth is the only thing you can do to resolve the situation quickly is leave him. These things take time. Sometimes there is nothing you can do, but you were asking on what you could do to change things and I gave my advice. But if you expect immediate results you are going to be sadly disappointed.

“I'm all his!!!”

Level 2

Since: Jun 12

Location hidden

#11 Jun 11, 2012
what a joke wrote:
<quoted text>
You are such a joke. She needs to tell him to be a man and grow the hell up or leave his ass. No person should have to deal with that kind of person every day. You could get a life as well. I don't get on here much but when I do you are always on here.
I get bored at work... so I get on here, you're right, I'm sitting here making more money than most of you guys do per hour and playing on topix, I know that has to sting a little, but I completely understand.

And you are absolutely right, when the going gets tough you should always get up and run away because that will solve all of your problems.

I could have said what I was really thinking, I have a 4 year old, I work. I pay my childcare and all of my bills all by myself with no help from anyone, so don't use the kids as an excuse to not get out there and help your husband support the family. I was really trying not to be a harsh b!tch about the situation, but I guess next time I'll just speak my mind, after all if you guys are going to dislike me I should really give you a reason.
Really Now

Richmond, KY

#12 Jun 11, 2012
what a joke wrote:
<quoted text>
You are such a joke. She needs to tell him to be a man and grow the hell up or leave his ass. No person should have to deal with that kind of person every day. You could get a life as well. I don't get on here much but when I do you are always on here.
You don't just leave your husband and the father of your children. Everything is not going to be better because he's gone. You're just trading one set of problems for another and depriving your children of a 2 parent home in the process. Why don't you help the original poster instead of downing someone else's answer? What kind of help is that to the o.p. to tell her husband to be a man or [email protected] o.p. Seriously, ask him to go to therapy with you to work on some issues you're having. You don't want to win by making him see he's not treating you well; you want to win by changing his behavior towards you. Good luck!
mad yet

Owensboro, KY

#13 Jun 11, 2012
Novocainesgirl wrote:
<quoted text>
I get bored at work... so I get on here, you're right, I'm sitting here making more money than most of you guys do per hour and playing on topix, I know that has to sting a little, but I completely understand.
And you are absolutely right, when the going gets tough you should always get up and run away because that will solve all of your problems.
I could have said what I was really thinking, I have a 4 year old, I work. I pay my childcare and all of my bills all by myself with no help from anyone, so don't use the kids as an excuse to not get out there and help your husband support the family. I was really trying not to be a harsh b!tch about the situation, but I guess next time I'll just speak my mind, after all if you guys are going to dislike me I should really give you a reason.
No need being a b!tch to me im not the one that said it. I appreciate your advice.

“I'm all his!!!”

Level 2

Since: Jun 12

Location hidden

#14 Jun 11, 2012
mad yet wrote:
<quoted text>
No need being a b!tch to me im not the one that said it. I appreciate your advice.
That was not geared at you in anyway, I can tell you that it's not easy. Once my marriage went south I stayed for 4 long years trying to make things better and they never were, but I believe that in most situations if things wee once good they can be again.
mad yet

Owensboro, KY

#15 Jun 11, 2012
Sorry for asking. just needed to get some stuff off my chest. I would never leave my husband I just want him to realize what he has. we have a roof over our heads food on the table and healthy kids. Be happy appreciate what you have Because 1 day it could all be taken away from you.

“I'm all his!!!”

Level 2

Since: Jun 12

Location hidden

#16 Jun 11, 2012
mad yet wrote:
Sorry for asking. just needed to get some stuff off my chest. I would never leave my husband I just want him to realize what he has. we have a roof over our heads food on the table and healthy kids. Be happy appreciate what you have Because 1 day it could all be taken away from you.
Unfortunately you can't change the way a persons mind works, but you can change the way they interpret what you say. Not saying you are doing anything wrong, I'm just saying as long as he is in this mood he will try to use everything he can against you.

Since: Nov 11

Wild Blue Yonder

#17 Jun 11, 2012
mad yet wrote:
I've been with my husband since 1998. We have 3 children And I'm a stay at home mom. I'm not the best housekeeper in the world but the house is clean the laundry is done and supper is on the table most of the time. I just don't understand no matter what I do it doesn't make him happy. Nothing makes him happy. I don't ask for much nothing expensive little things make me happy just to hear that I love you and a hug and kiss every once in awhile would be nice. but if you ask him I'm the bad guy I'm lazy I'm a bitch and im the reason why we don't have any money. Smallest child is 4 years old that's the reason why i don't work. childcare is so expensive we could not afford it. She will start school this fall and I'll be able to go back to work until now I'm nothing but a piece of shit and it's all my fault. And for you smart asses before you ask yes we do have sex when he wants to. he could not see that times are hard. if we run short on money my family is the 1 that bailed us out. so am I that bad of a mother or a wife? I don't run around I don't drink I don't cheat i staying home 24/7 and take care of my kids and try to make him happy. I do however do odd jobs at my parents house for money. I jus wanna be treated like I should be. my heart is breaking and I'm tired of crying over him.
First of all, the fact that you are asking if you're a bad mom or wife tells me you are not. Secondly, after reading your circumstances, it confirms that you are doing whatever you are able to at this time to contribute. You don't have to have the cleanest house or cook 3 meals every day for your family to have a happy home or happy children. When a husband can't appreciate a great wife and mother of his children when she's right in front of him, that is not your problem, that is HIS.
Nichole Stewart

Owensboro, KY

#18 Jun 11, 2012
mad yet wrote:
I've been with my husband since 1998. We have 3 children And I'm a stay at home mom. I'm not the best housekeeper in the world but the house is clean the laundry is done and supper is on the table most of the time. I just don't understand no matter what I do it doesn't make him happy. Nothing makes him happy. I don't ask for much nothing expensive little things make me happy just to hear that I love you and a hug and kiss every once in awhile would be nice. but if you ask him I'm the bad guy I'm lazy I'm a bitch and im the reason why we don't have any money. Smallest child is 4 years old that's the reason why i don't work. childcare is so expensive we could not afford it. She will start school this fall and I'll be able to go back to work until now I'm nothing but a piece of shit and it's all my fault. And for you smart asses before you ask yes we do have sex when he wants to. he could not see that times are hard. if we run short on money my family is the 1 that bailed us out. so am I that bad of a mother or a wife? I don't run around I don't drink I don't cheat i staying home 24/7 and take care of my kids and try to make him happy. I do however do odd jobs at my parents house for money. I jus wanna be treated like I should be. my heart is breaking and I'm tired of crying over him.
I'm Nichole Stewart I have no life I am on Topix mad because Amy Gillette livin rent free in Aunt Sue's mind. She prettier than us and she has teeth. Aunt Sue gonna OD on Buspar if I don't post. Nick aint no prize but Aunt Sue loves Nick, Aunt Sue wants to fuck Nick. Aunt Sue the only one obsessed with her own son. Aunt Sue is my God I shall have no other gods before her!
mad yet

Owensboro, KY

#19 Jun 11, 2012
Nichole Stewart wrote:
<quoted text>
I'm Nichole Stewart I have no life I am on Topix mad because Amy Gillette livin rent free in Aunt Sue's mind. She prettier than us and she has teeth. Aunt Sue gonna OD on Buspar if I don't post. Nick aint no prize but Aunt Sue loves Nick, Aunt Sue wants to fuck Nick. Aunt Sue the only one obsessed with her own son. Aunt Sue is my God I shall have no other gods before her!
what the hell? Crazy bitch
you are an idiot

Richmond, KY

#20 Jun 11, 2012
Novocainesgirl wrote:
When men get stressed out over a situation, they tend to lash out. They aren't like women in the regards of us wanting to talk out our frustrations, men tend to hold them in and try to deal with them all by themselves. This often leads to an angry grumpy man and I can assure you that when they get like that nothing you do is ever going to be good enough.
My advice, don't take it personal because it isn't.
Be understanding even though it's hard to do sometimes.
DO NOT ask him to talk to you about it, if he wanted to talk to you about it he would bring it up himself, it's only going to make him more angry.
DO NOT throw up in his face that your parents are the one that help you guys out financially. That is the WORST thing you could ever do to a man. That is the biggest no no ever. He will only resent you more for this. If your parents give you money for the work you do phrase it like this "I worked today doing _____ and made _____" DO NOT mention your parents at all, it's like cutting a guys d!ck off when he is reminded that he has to have help supporting his family. And your parents giving you odd and end jobs probably just makes the situation worse because he feels like they are only doing it because he can't take care and provide for his family.
Just be there, be patient and keep it between you and him. Really, he is probably only belittling you because he feels belittled by you going to your parents for help. I know that you are only trying to help relieve some burden and that's great of you, you just have to watch how you word it and how you present the situation to him.
Hope this helps.
No wonder you're so horrible at relationships. Your advice sucks.

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