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1 - 15 of 15 Comments Last updated Jul 16, 2013
at a loss

Owensboro, KY

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#1
Jul 5, 2013
 
as my name states, im at a loss. i know i may get flamed something epic on here for posting this, but topix seems to be the place to post your problems and remain anonymous in the process. my wife and i have been together for less than a few years. when we argue we tend to get into some pretty bad screaming matches. they get so bad that im surprised that her nor i get cops called on us. because of all of this among other things and because of my anger she calls me a psycho even when i am calm and happy. not only that but she has trust issues with me over one small little thing that happened shortly before we got married which was she found an adult video on my computer that i had long forgotten about. she flipped out even when i explained it to her she still thinks i look at porn and such. with all of our marital problems, the arguments, lack of trust, and a child involved, i have no idea what to do at this point. im so depressed and feeling so hopeless and powerless. anytime she and i get into one of these stupid arguments she acts as if im the one in the wrong even when she picks the fight and says something she knows will p-ss me off. one that got started was when we were watching some tv at a friends house recently when a remark was made about how good some female star looked. my wife basically reminded me of my history with porn and such and supposedly what those thoughts lead to. she always makes faulty assumptions and comes off with her holier than thou catholic attitude. her values are so out there that she could put anyone in westboro baptist to shame. and because of that it erupted in an argument once we got home almost to the point where i was about to walk away. but i refuse to because deep down i love her and ive been through a divorce at a young age and it hurts. i dont want to put my child through that same pain even though they see mommy and daddy fight so much. not only that but i have the strong value to stick with her because she is the mother of my child. but at this point i dont know what to do. i feel so down and depressed and feel as if there is no way out. im living in an unhappy marriage and i feel as if i cant go get help for my anger and depression because if i get the wrong therapist she will think i have a thing for that therapist if shes a female. shes that insecure and shallow. im at a loss and i dont know what to do about my sitiuation. i need some advice.
doc

Owensboro, KY

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#2
Jul 5, 2013
 
at a loss wrote:
as my name states, im at a loss. i know i may get flamed something epic on here for posting this, but topix seems to be the place to post your problems and remain anonymous in the process. my wife and i have been together for less than a few years. when we argue we tend to get into some pretty bad screaming matches. they get so bad that im surprised that her nor i get cops called on us. because of all of this among other things and because of my anger she calls me a psycho even when i am calm and happy. not only that but she has trust issues with me over one small little thing that happened shortly before we got married which was she found an adult video on my computer that i had long forgotten about. she flipped out even when i explained it to her she still thinks i look at porn and such. with all of our marital problems, the arguments, lack of trust, and a child involved, i have no idea what to do at this point. im so depressed and feeling so hopeless and powerless. anytime she and i get into one of these stupid arguments she acts as if im the one in the wrong even when she picks the fight and says something she knows will p-ss me off. one that got started was when we were watching some tv at a friends house recently when a remark was made about how good some female star looked. my wife basically reminded me of my history with porn and such and supposedly what those thoughts lead to. she always makes faulty assumptions and comes off with her holier than thou catholic attitude. her values are so out there that she could put anyone in westboro baptist to shame. and because of that it erupted in an argument once we got home almost to the point where i was about to walk away. but i refuse to because deep down i love her and ive been through a divorce at a young age and it hurts. i dont want to put my child through that same pain even though they see mommy and daddy fight so much. not only that but i have the strong value to stick with her because she is the mother of my child. but at this point i dont know what to do. i feel so down and depressed and feel as if there is no way out. im living in an unhappy marriage and i feel as if i cant go get help for my anger and depression because if i get the wrong therapist she will think i have a thing for that therapist if shes a female. shes that insecure and shallow. im at a loss and i dont know what to do about my sitiuation. i need some advice.
where does she work I bet I could give you some advice
Been there done that

United States

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#3
Jul 5, 2013
 
at a loss wrote:
as my name states, im at a loss. i know i may get flamed something epic on here for posting this, but topix seems to be the place to post your problems and remain anonymous in the process. my wife and i have been together for less than a few years. when we argue we tend to get into some pretty bad screaming matches. they get so bad that im surprised that her nor i get cops called on us. because of all of this among other things and because of my anger she calls me a psycho even when i am calm and happy. not only that but she has trust issues with me over one small little thing that happened shortly before we got married which was she found an adult video on my computer that i had long forgotten about. she flipped out even when i explained it to her she still thinks i look at porn and such. with all of our marital problems, the arguments, lack of trust, and a child involved, i have no idea what to do at this point. im so depressed and feeling so hopeless and powerless. anytime she and i get into one of these stupid arguments she acts as if im the one in the wrong even when she picks the fight and says something she knows will p-ss me off. one that got started was when we were watching some tv at a friends house recently when a remark was made about how good some female star looked. my wife basically reminded me of my history with porn and such and supposedly what those thoughts lead to. she always makes faulty assumptions and comes off with her holier than thou catholic attitude. her values are so out there that she could put anyone in westboro baptist to shame. and because of that it erupted in an argument once we got home almost to the point where i was about to walk away. but i refuse to because deep down i love her and ive been through a divorce at a young age and it hurts. i dont want to put my child through that same pain even though they see mommy and daddy fight so much. not only that but i have the strong value to stick with her because she is the mother of my child. but at this point i dont know what to do. i feel so down and depressed and feel as if there is no way out. im living in an unhappy marriage and i feel as if i cant go get help for my anger and depression because if i get the wrong therapist she will think i have a thing for that therapist if shes a female. shes that insecure and shallow. im at a loss and i dont know what to do about my sitiuation. i need some advice.
well have you ever cheated on her before? Sry I ask but that's kinda what it seems like it could be I don't know . Well I don't believe ANYBODY should stay in a relationship based solely on sharing a child that's just the way I see it . What causes these arguments between you and her? They are insecure most likely in the relationship for some reason . Ask yourself what it could be and maybe that could be the answer . Couples have to be honest with each other on both sides or its a dead end relationship period!! Good luck with your decision .
sara

Owensboro, KY

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#4
Jul 5, 2013
 
at a loss wrote:
as my name states, im at a loss. i know i may get flamed something epic on here for posting this, but topix seems to be the place to post your problems and remain anonymous in the process. my wife and i have been together for less than a few years. when we argue we tend to get into some pretty bad screaming matches. they get so bad that im surprised that her nor i get cops called on us. because of all of this among other things and because of my anger she calls me a psycho even when i am calm and happy. not only that but she has trust issues with me over one small little thing that happened shortly before we got married which was she found an adult video on my computer that i had long forgotten about. she flipped out even when i explained it to her she still thinks i look at porn and such. with all of our marital problems, the arguments, lack of trust, and a child involved, i have no idea what to do at this point. im so depressed and feeling so hopeless and powerless. anytime she and i get into one of these stupid arguments she acts as if im the one in the wrong even when she picks the fight and says something she knows will p-ss me off. one that got started was when we were watching some tv at a friends house recently when a remark was made about how good some female star looked. my wife basically reminded me of my history with porn and such and supposedly what those thoughts lead to. she always makes faulty assumptions and comes off with her holier than thou catholic attitude. her values are so out there that she could put anyone in westboro baptist to shame. and because of that it erupted in an argument once we got home almost to the point where i was about to walk away. but i refuse to because deep down i love her and ive been through a divorce at a young age and it hurts. i dont want to put my child through that same pain even though they see mommy and daddy fight so much. not only that but i have the strong value to stick with her because she is the mother of my child. but at this point i dont know what to do. i feel so down and depressed and feel as if there is no way out. im living in an unhappy marriage and i feel as if i cant go get help for my anger and depression because if i get the wrong therapist she will think i have a thing for that therapist if shes a female. shes that insecure and shallow. im at a loss and i dont know what to do about my sitiuation. i need some advice.
this I think I heard before and I no who your wife if she works at the new hospital im sorry to say but she is cheating on you and has been for awhile
seriously

Cleveland, TN

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#5
Jul 5, 2013
 
Sara might be right. The one who are cheating tend to be the most insecure. Whatever the case may be. You shouldn't stay just because of the kid. In the end you're only hurting your child by fighting in front of him/her. If you're going to get divorced its better to do it now before they're old enough to remember. In my opinion divorce is the last option so before that maybe you should try marriage counseling. Maybe some sort of marriage retreat. My parents went to one in Nashville and it worked wonders. If she's ok with counseling then maybe she should pick the therapist. You have options but you need to decide sooner than later.
Lol

United States

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#6
Jul 6, 2013
 
at a loss wrote:
as my name states, im at a loss. i know i may get flamed something epic on here for posting this, but topix seems to be the place to post your problems and remain anonymous in the process. my wife and i have been together for less than a few years. when we argue we tend to get into some pretty bad screaming matches. they get so bad that im surprised that her nor i get cops called on us. because of all of this among other things and because of my anger she calls me a psycho even when i am calm and happy. not only that but she has trust issues with me over one small little thing that happened shortly before we got married which was she found an adult video on my computer that i had long forgotten about. she flipped out even when i explained it to her she still thinks i look at porn and such. with all of our marital problems, the arguments, lack of trust, and a child involved, i have no idea what to do at this point. im so depressed and feeling so hopeless and powerless. anytime she and i get into one of these stupid arguments she acts as if im the one in the wrong even when she picks the fight and says something she knows will p-ss me off. one that got started was when we were watching some tv at a friends house recently when a remark was made about how good some female star looked. my wife basically reminded me of my history with porn and such and supposedly what those thoughts lead to. she always makes faulty assumptions and comes off with her holier than thou catholic attitude. her values are so out there that she could put anyone in westboro baptist to shame. and because of that it erupted in an argument once we got home almost to the point where i was about to walk away. but i refuse to because deep down i love her and ive been through a divorce at a young age and it hurts. i dont want to put my child through that same pain even though they see mommy and daddy fight so much. not only that but i have the strong value to stick with her because she is the mother of my child. but at this point i dont know what to do. i feel so down and depressed and feel as if there is no way out. im living in an unhappy marriage and i feel as if i cant go get help for my anger and depression because if i get the wrong therapist she will think i have a thing for that therapist if shes a female. shes that insecure and shallow. im at a loss and i dont know what to do about my sitiuation. i need some advice.
WHEW I've heard it all now . I'd say just hang it up seriously because from what I've been made aware of and have seen first hand it isn't going anywhere and you both are only dragging each other down . Deception , sneakiness , depression , trust issues for obvious reasons are not going to change from my own perspective . Good luck to ya !
at a loss

Owensboro, KY

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#7
Jul 6, 2013
 
Been there done that wrote:
<quoted text> well have you ever cheated on her before? Sry I ask but that's kinda what it seems like it could be I don't know . Well I don't believe ANYBODY should stay in a relationship based solely on sharing a child that's just the way I see it . What causes these arguments between you and her? They are insecure most likely in the relationship for some reason . Ask yourself what it could be and maybe that could be the answer . Couples have to be honest with each other on both sides or its a dead end relationship period!! Good luck with your decision .
well our arguments start over the littlest things like and theyre so little i never know when to expect her to attack me. i cant hear all that well sometimes as well and when i ask what she says she gets irritated. also when we are watching something a little racy on tv she asks if im hard. i mean wtf is that?!? its ridiculous. and to answer another question, no ive never cheated on her but as depressed as i am im almost feeling like i could because i just need someone who loves me for who i am and not someone who drags me down.

and to clear up some other questions my wife doesnt work at the hospital nor am i going to tell where she works because id like to keep names out of this situation. now does that mean she is cheating on me? ive had my suspicions but every time ive checked her facebook it comes up clean and she only talks to her female friends on there and i know she isnt gay or anything.
There two

United States

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#8
Jul 6, 2013
 
I'm where u are i love him for the kids but I hate him. I want out but I don't, I can't take it anymore its like we drag each other down. I want to b happy but I can't even fake a smile anymore. Is there any hope??? Ps if she's always saying ur a cheater doesn't mean she is I did tht to my man and never cheated. Now that I'm so unhappy and I've asked for a divorce I've began to mess w a friend but I don't feel guilty bc we r so far gone yet it doesn't help the way I feel at home so if u think of messing aroud b sure u can handle it bc some cant
Leave

United States

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#9
Jul 6, 2013
 
I have been in the same situation for a long time. Life is to short to be miserable. If you can't trust or enjoy the one you're with then it's time to leave. After many many years I just accomished this recently. It takes a heavy weight off your shoulders and you'll be glad you did.
Doctor on the house

United States

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#10
Jul 6, 2013
 
at a loss wrote:
<quoted text>
well our arguments start over the littlest things like and theyre so little i never know when to expect her to attack me. i cant hear all that well sometimes as well and when i ask what she says she gets irritated. also when we are watching something a little racy on tv she asks if im hard. i mean wtf is that?!? its ridiculous. and to answer another question, no ive never cheated on her but as depressed as i am im almost feeling like i could because i just need someone who loves me for who i am and not someone who drags me down.
and to clear up some other questions my wife doesnt work at the hospital nor am i going to tell where she works because id like to keep names out of this situation. now does that mean she is cheating on me? ive had my suspicions but every time ive checked her facebook it comes up clean and she only talks to her female friends on there and i know she isnt gay or anything.
it's a medical fact that depression DOES NOT make a person to decide to cheat .
If that is the case then you would truthfully only be using it for a excuse to cover up your actions .
Best of luck to you !
Lol

United States

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#12
Jul 7, 2013
 
at a loss wrote:
as my name states, im at a loss. i know i may get flamed something epic on here for posting this, but topix seems to be the place to post your problems and remain anonymous in the process. my wife and i have been together for less than a few years. when we argue we tend to get into some pretty bad screaming matches. they get so bad that im surprised that her nor i get cops called on us. because of all of this among other things and because of my anger she calls me a psycho even when i am calm and happy. not only that but she has trust issues with me over one small little thing that happened shortly before we got married which was she found an adult video on my computer that i had long forgotten about. she flipped out even when i explained it to her she still thinks i look at porn and such. with all of our marital problems, the arguments, lack of trust, and a child involved, i have no idea what to do at this point. im so depressed and feeling so hopeless and powerless. anytime she and i get into one of these stupid arguments she acts as if im the one in the wrong even when she picks the fight and says something she knows will p-ss me off. one that got started was when we were watching some tv at a friends house recently when a remark was made about how good some female star looked. my wife basically reminded me of my history with porn and such and supposedly what those thoughts lead to. she always makes faulty assumptions and comes off with her holier than thou catholic attitude. her values are so out there that she could put anyone in westboro baptist to shame. and because of that it erupted in an argument once we got home almost to the point where i was about to walk away. but i refuse to because deep down i love her and ive been through a divorce at a young age and it hurts. i dont want to put my child through that same pain even though they see mommy and daddy fight so much. not only that but i have the strong value to stick with her because she is the mother of my child. but at this point i dont know what to do. i feel so down and depressed and feel as if there is no way out. im living in an unhappy marriage and i feel as if i cant go get help for my anger and depression because if i get the wrong therapist she will think i have a thing for that therapist if shes a female. shes that insecure and shallow. im at a loss and i dont know what to do about my sitiuation. i need some advice.
Advice ? Get out of the relationship .
theoneloss

Madisonville, KY

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#13
Jul 7, 2013
 
I have been in a relationship now with the woman i am with and fill i am stuck with when she is very controlling and thinks she can tell me when to goto bed and get up but in sometimes she gets mad and takes off but idc... but the main reason i cant leave is all my friends disagreed on how we got started three years ago we stunk around behind her husband's back for almost two years and now lived together for a year but it has really went down hill in the last 6 months every one says leave but i don't know where i am going to go because my mother won't let me back in her apartment because there's four people living there and ect and all my other family is stuck up also looking for advice
Maybe

Madisonville, KY

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#14
Jul 7, 2013
 
theoneloss wrote:
I have been in a relationship now with the woman i am with and fill i am stuck with when she is very controlling and thinks she can tell me when to goto bed and get up but in sometimes she gets mad and takes off but idc... but the main reason i cant leave is all my friends disagreed on how we got started three years ago we stunk around behind her husband's back for almost two years and now lived together for a year but it has really went down hill in the last 6 months every one says leave but i don't know where i am going to go because my mother won't let me back in her apartment because there's four people living there and ect and all my other family is stuck up also looking for advice
you could shoot yourself in the face that always fixes everything .
theonekilla

Madisonville, KY

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#15
Jul 7, 2013
 
Maybe wrote:
<quoted text> you could shoot yourself in the face that always fixes everything .
Shoot your punk azz so stfu
So many sad stories

Owensboro, KY

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#16
Jul 16, 2013
 
I feel for those who are being pushed around. It sucks, so the best advice I can give is stand up for yourself and don't take $#!t from anyone

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