Step-Parent's Rights
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step-mother

Chicago, IL

#1 May 20, 2013
What rights do we have about the children our spouse had with a past relationship? I am not a bad person. I have a child of my own that my husband has adopted. We have a healthy and happy marriage. With one child I have a amazing relationship with the mother. With the other child, the mother is completely of her rocker. I want to have a relationship with ALL my children. They are like my own. So, what rights do I have? What should I do? How should I go about this?
What

Owensboro, KY

#2 May 20, 2013
So you want to adopt one of the kids? That's how I'm reading this. If so, she might sign her rights over. Other than that, there's not much you can do.

If CPS says she's an unfit mother, you might be able to adopt her.
Step-Mother

Owensboro, KY

#3 May 20, 2013
Well taking full rights of the child is possible for the future. Not going into detail. For right now though I just want to be around the child though. Can she refuse visitation to me?
yep

Owensboro, KY

#4 May 20, 2013
Step parents have no rights. We are just glorified babysitters. Sorry. It sucks, but, no. The kids aren't biologically ours, so we have no legal rights.
Confused

Owensboro, KY

#5 May 20, 2013
If it's the way you explain it, refusing visitation to you is also refusing visitation to the father. The father has rights to visitation. Those visits can be with both the father and the stepmother.
Jesse

Dunmor, KY

#6 May 20, 2013
We need a hot step mom, we need a MILF, we need a sexy cougar, we need a ho old lady, we need a government program...
Jesse is for pedo rights

Centertown, KY

#7 May 20, 2013
Jesse wrote:
We need a hot step mom, we need a MILF, we need a sexy cougar, we need a ho old lady, we need a government program...
You need a new joke...
Yep

Owensboro, KY

#8 May 20, 2013
Mom cannot refuse dad visitation if it is court ordered. She also has no control over who dad has the child around during his time. She can go to court and try to say u r a danger to the child but she would have to have proof- arrest records, etc before a judge would rule that dad can't have child around you. However- without dad u have no rights at all. You don't get his time if he isn't there to exercise it (working out of town, etc). You have no right to medical or school records etc.
step-mother

Chicago, IL

#9 May 20, 2013
Yep wrote:
Mom cannot refuse dad visitation if it is court ordered. She also has no control over who dad has the child around during his time. She can go to court and try to say u r a danger to the child but she would have to have proof- arrest records, etc before a judge would rule that dad can't have child around you. However- without dad u have no rights at all. You don't get his time if he isn't there to exercise it (working out of town, etc). You have no right to medical or school records etc.
Thank you!!! That's really what I wanted to hear.
hmmmm
#10 May 21, 2013
my step child has lived with us 14 yrs. Mom gets every other weekend. although not probably legal, i do all paperwork for schools, docs, etc. we share the last name so never questioned. mom is aware but since custody agreement says she gets weekends (fri at 6 to sunday at 6) she cant even check her own child out of school.
Umm

Owensboro, KY

#11 May 21, 2013
If the child's mother is very much a part of the child's life then u need to be respectful and know ur place. The child has a mother already, I mean u can love the child but u need to remember he/she already has a mother so watch the boundaries and if anything, out of respect for the child, respect their mother. Just because YOU don't think she's a suitable mother doesn't mean she doesn't love her child and obviously she cares or she wouldn't still be in their life. You can't just rip a child from their mother because she makes mistakes, noones perfect and as long as it's not affecting the child it shouldn't matter
step-mother

Chicago, IL

#12 May 21, 2013
Umm wrote:
If the child's mother is very much a part of the child's life then u need to be respectful and know ur place. The child has a mother already, I mean u can love the child but u need to remember he/she already has a mother so watch the boundaries and if anything, out of respect for the child, respect their mother. Just because YOU don't think she's a suitable mother doesn't mean she doesn't love her child and obviously she cares or she wouldn't still be in their life. You can't just rip a child from their mother because she makes mistakes, noones perfect and as long as it's not affecting the child it shouldn't matter
I never said she didn't love you child and I never said I want to rip the child away from their mother. I just want to be apart of the child's life. I know she loves her child. Also, in the long run, if things keep going the way they are going then the child's life is being severely affected. A child also needs her father. A threat of ripping that child out of his life, which means her brother and sisters life and of course mine every other day isn't healthy. Ill put it this way, just because he decided to be with me the rest of his life doesn't mean he also doesn't love his child. That's where she loves to go. The child, siblings, and the child's father and our family shouldn't have to suffer because her screws are loose. But thank you everyone. I feel like I have enough to go on to make a happy an healthy decision and with in the right time.
Yep

Chicago, IL

#13 May 21, 2013
I can promise you that if mom went to check the child out of school - the school would let her- they don't care what her visit times are- she is the legal parent and has rights
The school probably won't question stepmom doing paperwork etc unless mom puts up a fight- then they have to respect moms legal role as mom and stepmoms legal role as legal stranger
hmmmm
#14 May 21, 2013
Yep wrote:
I can promise you that if mom went to check the child out of school - the school would let her- they don't care what her visit times are- she is the legal parent and has rights
The school probably won't question stepmom doing paperwork etc unless mom puts up a fight- then they have to respect moms legal role as mom and stepmoms legal role as legal stranger
check the law dear. if the custody agreement says 6pm friday and they let mom check her out its illegal. they ask for custody papers for this purpose. what if a noncostodial parent checks her out at 3 n never brings her back? the school wld b liable for leting her leave against court ordered visitation rules :)
Yep

Owensboro, KY

#15 May 21, 2013
I know the law because i went rounds with the board of education all the way up to the state dept of education. They are not in the business of enforcing court orders. If the parent has joint legal custody they do not care when the visitation times are listed. All they need to see is that the parent has joint legal custody. There is nothing they can do to stop the parent.
When my ex was on supervised visitation only I had to get a court order barring him from taking the child from school. Their policy is that he had joint legal custody and it was not their job to enforce visitation court orders- that's the job of the police and courts.
They have copies of ur custody papers specifically to see if both parents have legal custody (which is the normal case) and whether there are any orders prohibiting certain info etc.
yep

Owensboro, KY

#16 May 21, 2013
Yep wrote:
I know the law because i went rounds with the board of education all the way up to the state dept of education. They are not in the business of enforcing court orders. If the parent has joint legal custody they do not care when the visitation times are listed. All they need to see is that the parent has joint legal custody. There is nothing they can do to stop the parent.
When my ex was on supervised visitation only I had to get a court order barring him from taking the child from school. Their policy is that he had joint legal custody and it was not their job to enforce visitation court orders- that's the job of the police and courts.
They have copies of ur custody papers specifically to see if both parents have legal custody (which is the normal case) and whether there are any orders prohibiting certain info etc.
That is true, from what I understood when my ex thru a big stink at my son's elementary school. They school said that if it is joint custody, he's allowed to get any school records/report cards, come to any school functions, and I am pretty sure they would let the noncustodial party check a child out from school if you didn't have a court order saying they couldn't. My ex was just trying to exert some sort of control because he's not going to pick my son up from school, or get copies of report cards or come to school functions. I don't have the school call him if my son needs to be picked up because he wouldn't come anyway...same with my step-sons' mom.

And, yes, I fill out all the school paperwork, all of that. But my husband signs all the important stuff. I couldn't add someone to my step-son's check-out list at school though, which I thought was funny because I'm the one that made the list in the first place, but his biological mom could...stupid stuff like that just makes me mad. I take care of these kids more than their mom ever did, but I have absolutely no legal rights to see the kids; I just happen to be married to their father. Oh, well. So long as they know I work hard for them, which they are starting to. My stepson gave me his Mother's Day presents, instead of giving them to his biological mom...not that I ever asked for them, and I asked him multiple times if he was sure he didn't want to give it to his mom. He didn't.
Sad

Owensboro, KY

#17 May 21, 2013
yep wrote:
<quoted text>
That is true, from what I understood when my ex thru a big stink at my son's elementary school. They school said that if it is joint custody, he's allowed to get any school records/report cards, come to any school functions, and I am pretty sure they would let the noncustodial party check a child out from school if you didn't have a court order saying they couldn't. My ex was just trying to exert some sort of control because he's not going to pick my son up from school, or get copies of report cards or come to school functions. I don't have the school call him if my son needs to be picked up because he wouldn't come anyway...same with my step-sons' mom.
And, yes, I fill out all the school paperwork, all of that. But my husband signs all the important stuff. I couldn't add someone to my step-son's check-out list at school though, which I thought was funny because I'm the one that made the list in the first place, but his biological mom could...stupid stuff like that just makes me mad. I take care of these kids more than their mom ever did, but I have absolutely no legal rights to see the kids; I just happen to be married to their father. Oh, well. So long as they know I work hard for them, which they are starting to. My stepson gave me his Mother's Day presents, instead of giving them to his biological mom...not that I ever asked for them, and I asked him multiple times if he was sure he didn't want to give it to his mom. He didn't.
Well if ur stepson gave u his mothers day presents then they probably came from the dad buying them who told him they were for u...a child wants to please whoever they are with at the time that's just their way. I'm sure he loves his real mother and gave her mothers day presents when he was with her. I can't stand these step moms that try to be super mom and try to make the kids like them more it's ridiculous these kids have a mother let her do her job. When the kid gets older they will realize thats what ya'll are tryin to do and see right through u so it's all good
Your rights

Owensboro, KY

#18 May 21, 2013
You have the right to be married to the kids father. Period that's the only rights you have for someone else's kids GET OVER IT
yep

Chicago, IL

#19 May 22, 2013
Sad wrote:
<quoted text>
Well if ur stepson gave u his mothers day presents then they probably came from the dad buying them who told him they were for u...a child wants to please whoever they are with at the time that's just their way. I'm sure he loves his real mother and gave her mothers day presents when he was with her. I can't stand these step moms that try to be super mom and try to make the kids like them more it's ridiculous these kids have a mother let her do her job. When the kid gets older they will realize thats what ya'll are tryin to do and see right through u so it's all good
Actually, no. They weren't bought gifts. I didn't get anything bought for Mother's Day, even from my biological son. These were things that he made at school, for his mom, for Mother's Day, and he chose to give them to me, not to her. And both my husband and I asked him several times who he wanted to give them to, and he said me. So, you have no idea what you're talking about because you're some bitter mom. He's lived with me for half of his life. I make sure he's fed, goes to the doctor, makes it to school, take him to fun things...he's just as much my son now.

Why can't some of you accept that its okay for a child to have two women that love him like a mom?
yeah

Owensboro, KY

#20 May 22, 2013
yep wrote:
<quoted text>
Actually, no. They weren't bought gifts. I didn't get anything bought for Mother's Day, even from my biological son. These were things that he made at school, for his mom, for Mother's Day, and he chose to give them to me, not to her. And both my husband and I asked him several times who he wanted to give them to, and he said me. So, you have no idea what you're talking about because you're some bitter mom. He's lived with me for half of his life. I make sure he's fed, goes to the doctor, makes it to school, take him to fun things...he's just as much my son now.
Why can't some of you accept that its okay for a child to have two women that love him like a mom?
Maybe he went to his mom's house and decided to make her a special card on his own.

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