single dad

Duluth, GA

#23 Feb 23, 2013
You can only raise your kids to a certain point. After that point they have to make their own decisions. It is on you, in the meantime, to do everything to get them ready for the real world. Temptation is everywhere, you can't avoid it yourself let alone on someone else. I'm saying that the earlier you start developing honest and steady conversation with your children about what's right and what's wrong the easier the whole process is. Communication is the key factor in all relationships rather it be your children, wife or friends. It leads to trust. I whole heartedly agree with the person who said that many parents take their problems in life and aggressions out on their children. I know my father did. In this hectic world with so many gadgets and tv channels to distract us its easy to lose focus of the little things. Setting down for supper together, almost a thing of the past. Most families do it only on holidays anymore. Who has time to help their child on Sunday night after they put it off all weekend to help their child with their homework? I mean Sunday night football is on or UK or the walking dead right? I truly believe that if you raise your children right. You set a good example as a person. You take the time to know who and what is going on in their lives, you won't have to raise a fist. I have my son in karate, I want him to know how to defend himself and hell we wrestle and I've taught him how to protect himself. However, its a discipline only used or needed for protection. Also, I agree groundings dont work if they aren't done right. However, you take away their tv and every privelage and for instance your child disrespects you, make them write I will not disrespect my dad/mom 150 times. When they bring it back and its scribbles send them back and redo it all over, they bring it back and its constantly misspelled, send there butt back to do it again. I promise this is way worse than a spankin. For those too young to write, after telling them why and what they did wrong set them in a corner with nothing around them for ten minutes and take away their favorite toy for a day, they scream ot goes to 15 minutes and two days etc...stand your ground. The most important thing im trying to get across really is that open communication is the key. You spank your son or daughter, what have you truly taught them other than fear? Luckily for me I had my daughter first because that's how I adapted my policy. The first time I spanked her her eyes welled up and her little bottom lip popped out and when she started crying it tore me apart. Its different for little daddy's girls. I ended up buying her ice cream. Lol however we had a nice long talk and it worked out great. Thanks mother for the compliment.
my opinion

United States

#24 Feb 23, 2013
I understand what you're saying single dad and my intentions were not to degrade or criticize your method of raising your children. I also understand the parents who take things out on children. All I was saying is that a spanking is not a form of abuse in my eyes when they overstep boundaries knowing the consequences. I didn't grow up fearing my parents and my daughter doesn't fear me but I know right from wrong and she does too. I also raised children who weren't biologically mine which I never spanked but I used the form you refer to in writing sentences over and over and restricting privileges when they acted out. I also believe in rewarding for their efforts and good behavior. I believe in both aspects of communication and discipline.
single dad

Duluth, GA

#25 Feb 23, 2013
my opinion wrote:
I understand what you're saying single dad and my intentions were not to degrade or criticize your method of raising your children. I also understand the parents who take things out on children. All I was saying is that a spanking is not a form of abuse in my eyes when they overstep boundaries knowing the consequences. I didn't grow up fearing my parents and my daughter doesn't fear me but I know right from wrong and she does too. I also raised children who weren't biologically mine which I never spanked but I used the form you refer to in writing sentences over and over and restricting privileges when they acted out. I also believe in rewarding for their efforts and good behavior. I believe in both aspects of communication and discipline.
The daughter I refer to is not mine biologically either but still mine the same. Sister to my paternal son. I didn't take offense to what you said. Its a delicate issue. I understand your stance on some advocates yelling "no spanking" but instead give absolutely no circumstances to their children and baby them. I've seen it and its a disservice to the child. You shelter them too much without any consequences and when they step out in the real world they end up spoiled brats wondering why they are behind bars or on drugs or pregnant at 14. Like I said I am not saying one is right and one is wrong. Believe me, when I discipline my son im not all ewy gewy about it, its a stern voice that he has learned means no playing around. He's had his butt whipped but I seek that as an absolute last resort but still paired with guidance as you also seem to do. I'm more directed at the parents that use it as a full blown, one way to discipline thing that is overused and often unnecessary. Like a couple people commenting saying im an idiot or having the whole, the world needs more azz beatings to turn things around, everyone grab a switch let's change the world type philosophy. You've raised children that are not biologically yours which is respectable and means you also know the challenges that can present. The way I look at it is this. If you believe in spanking when your child is doing something wrong, if you're not with the mother, as im no longer, would you want the man she's seeing to soank your child. I, personally think I might spend some time in the county should that happen to my son. You seem like a good dad man. Great topic and love a good, educated debate. Good luck, we all need it. I worry more about other people's kids and there effect on my own than I do my own. Its a crappy world we live in at times. Take care.
my opinion

United States

#26 Feb 23, 2013
Everything you just said was exactly the point I was making. I did bring up the switch thing and yea that is kinda taking it to the extreme but I was referring to the sense of no discipline. I agree totally with another man disciplining my daughter in that manner that's why the ones that are not biologically mine never got spanked by me. Children need guidance and positive role models growing up and I would like to think I do my best to teach and guide them along the way. Example doing their homework. They would get so irritated at me when they brought me their homework and I wouldn't just give them the answer but would give them enough to make them think and come up with the correct answer. To me it teaches them they can come to me for guidance but they ultimately have to make the right decisions. Its even harder in your situation raising children being single. I have enjoyed this topic and hearing the different opinions. My philosophy is everyone can always learn something from another person. Take care and have a good day
free

Owensboro, KY

#27 Feb 23, 2013
That's messed up
Two cents

Vine Grove, KY

#28 Apr 7, 2013
just curious wrote:
I was visiting a friend recently and her 6 year old son had been acting up. Despite repeated warnings, he would not stop and his mother said she was going to "bust his butt". Now I have no problem with spanking a child, but she to proceeded to put him over her lap and pull his pants and underwear down and spank his bare fanny. I could see his bottom get redder and redder during the spanking. Do most parents spank this way?
I always spank on the bare. It's fair to all my children. Was the spanking effective?
hmmmmm

Eddyville, KY

#29 Apr 7, 2013
single dad wrote:
Look, my father whipped me with switches. He used to get drunk and whip me for no reason. Sure, I was scared of him. He was still my hero bit I also thought that was what men do. We hit and fight. I was a troubled teenager, I was filled with anger and because I was taught that talking about feelings was being a puss* I bottled it up. I in turn got stronger and bigger and thought that since dad faught and hit that it was cool. I rebelled. I got into fights at school and had alcohol problems. It took a lot of time to get thru that. A lot of years. I squared off with my old man several times and although I would never hit a woman, my mothers whoopins didn't really have much potency. So you teach hitting as a means of punishment as opposed to talk right? I call that neglect really. Why? Because you're neglecting to take the time to explain why its wrong. Parents have the market cornered on "because I said so". That's the easy way out. When my son hit his sister for the first time as a child I took him to the side and told him that only cowards hit girls. That all women are princess' no matter how they act or what they look like. In a stern voice. Just that alone , a look and a stern voice, was enough for him to know he was in the wrong. I suppose if your son hit his sister you'd go yank him up and spank (a form of hitting) him. How does that make sense? If you hit your sister I will hit you? Sure there were times, i.e. my boy was sticking his fingers in an electrical socket, partly my fault i thought they were all covered, but i ran up and gave him a quick swat and still said, that can kill you stay away. So there is a time for it. However, too many people use it for the wrong reasons. Remember, you can only soank for so long and when your kid grows up and he's had enough spankins and he looks you in the eye, you'll wish you took the time to talk to him because he's just lobble to crack you upside the head. What's next, bats and guns? "by golly i will show him who's boss". Talk to your kids, start early, let them know it's ok to talk to you. Not only does your method only teach intimidation it also, in many cases makes a child withdrawal from speeking about how he feels in fear that might also be wrong and worthy of a crack on the butt. As far as the kids that do the shootings and are out doing whatever they want. Those are usually from households of neglect and overbearing. Usually kids that are isolated and picked on for having no social skills, how could they they were never thought any. So they resort to one thing they know...violence. I blame the parents if these killers every bit as much as the killers themselves. You're a product of you're environment, raised by an iron fist leads to more of the same. You wouldn't have to take discipline teenagers so much if you laid a foundation based on understanding and rationalization thru conversation as adolescents. Now berate my opinion all you want. Both my children are honor role students that have never had one disciplinary note from school. I'd say my philosophy is working for me, best of luck with yours. Either way this is not a right or wrong forum, each person can raise their children the way they want, we each are dealt different hands. Its merely my opinion. FYI, im 31 with over a dozen tattoos and played sports and am a personal trainer. I'm not some lame that you may think.
I agree with you. Kids should do what they are supposed to do out of respect, not fear. I don't agree with spanking but i dont have a problem with people who do it. I have spanked my children on occasion. It should never be done out of anger though.
really

Gilbertsville, KY

#30 Apr 7, 2013
Time out works wonders if you do it right. If they violate it, it starts over. Just make sure it's short. Short time outs work wonders, but long ones aren't really any better, but just a waste of time. Short means a few minutes.

If they need time out dozens of times per day, it seems like a lot of work for the parent. But, after a few days, they won't need it as often. Once they know when to expect it, it will be doing its job. The real key is that they know when to expect it. It will often prevent bad behavior, simply because they will know it will lead to a time out.
Grow a pair

Owensboro, KY

#31 Apr 7, 2013
just curious wrote:
I was visiting a friend recently and her 6 year old son had been acting up. Despite repeated warnings, he would not stop and his mother said she was going to "bust his butt". Now I have no problem with spanking a child, but she to proceeded to put him over her lap and pull his pants and underwear down and spank his bare fanny. I could see his bottom get redder and redder during the spanking. Do most parents spank this way?
People like you are the reason our society is being set up for complete and utter failure. Questioning the spanking of a child?? Really? Ahhhh. Did his little tushy get too red???! Better call child social services, he might not make it til morning with a life sustaining injury like that!!

You sound like a complete and total panty waste from top to bottom. I bet you think it's child abuse if a kid plays in the mud too. If my kid gets out of line, I blister his ass! Anyone who wants to tell me how to raise mine, well, lets just say Ill blister yours too!! Freaking wimp!!!
PDX Dave

Portland, OR

#32 Jun 25, 2013
hmmm wrote:
I wonder if this is how spanking/whipping fetishes start?
No I don't think it's how they start, I think people are born with their fetishes. I know that when I was needing spanked (which in all honesty I did fairly frequently...) beginning when I was around 11yo I would always get a full erection during the paddling. Routine was for me to go to my room and take off my pants and then go to my parents bedroom where mom would be waiting, I'd be wearing only a T-shirt, barefoot of course and nude from the waist down. I was required to stand with my hands together fingers interlaced laying at rest against my belly, and she would would do the spanking as I stood with my ankles tight together while she smacked my bum with a ping-pong paddle. As I said I would get completely hard, because I found the whole thing tremendously arousing and that was not something which I learned from the spankings, rather something I learned about myself because of the spankings. After it was over and my cheeks were stinging and I had tears on my cheeks, mom would turn me to face her and taking me by the shoulders tell me she didn't like spanking me and that she loves me very much and she always maintained eye contact never looking at or seeming to notice my pubescent erection. As I said I was closing in on my 12th birthday and I would go to my room and close the door and relief myself into a wad of tissue as I remembered the spanking, and would often fantasize about her turning the around and spanking me in the front with her open hand. That never happened, but I thought about it as I filled the tissue paper. So, no I don't think fetishes are born out of spanking but a lot of people beginning early in life really enjoyed getting whacked around a bit!
Logic Speaks

Owensboro, KY

#33 Jun 25, 2013
If spanking works, then please explain why there ais a 100% rate of prisoners or those in local jails who were spanked as kids.

Google the statistics for yourself.
Retard

United States

#34 Jun 25, 2013
Logic Speaks wrote:
If spanking works, then please explain why there ais a 100% rate of prisoners or those in local jails who were spanked as kids.

Google the statistics for yourself.
All facts can be made to say whatever you want them to say 93.7% of the time
Keshia Basham

United States

#35 Jun 25, 2013
You can pull mine down and spank me for a cookie!
Emma

UK

#36 Nov 19, 2013
My daughter gets her bum smacked on the bare, I make a point of pulling her knickers down when she has done wrong, this humiliates her and the spanking teaches her not to do wrong again. I have spanked her in front of family members and friends of hers and mine. She only has to strip from the waste down, I have no intention of having her naked, all except 1 time when she swore at me for sparking her in front of 2 of her friends.
Usually she is called downstairs to the front room at about 8, and told she is having a spanking, she pulls down her tights, I put her over my knee and pull down her knickers. But if she does bad in front of people and embarrasses me, I make sure I embaras her, for example we had a family dinner at mine, she swore and argued with me.
I got her to stand up after we had finished eating, told her that I was gonna smack her in front of everyone, and the reasons why, I got her to bend over the chair, she was begging not too, I lifted her skirt, pulled down her tights, and smacked her on her underwear, I heard the relief as she thought I wouldn't pull them down, so I did, I yanked down get knickers and smacked away, she was crying and begging me to stop, but she learnt her lesson.
igottheflyswat

United States

#38 Nov 20, 2013
When we were kids my sisters and I would get spanked with a fly swatter from nana. I'm not shooting up schools or making bomb threats. I've been in maybe 3 fights in my life where I've had to resort to some sort of violence. Spanking children when young is a great tool when used properly. You don't have to do it hard or often. Its like a dog. It trains them...for example...child makes choice to do something "bad" consequence is spanking properly. If the punishment is consistant then child will then think before making poor decision. A vet once told me how to keep my new Labrador retriever puppy from jumping on people. She said that EVERYTIME puppy jumped on me to gently step on the end of its back paws. It would send a sharp pain to the dog but not do any damage. So the next day I did what the vet told me. Jax jumped on me, I stepped on his paw. He let out a welp and jumped off. A few minutes later he jumped on me again. I repeated my punishment. This continued for a couple days but after about 10-12 times jax quit jumping on me or anyone else. He knew if I do this I get hurt...maybe I shouldn't do that. Same concept. Inflict short pain and do it consisntantly and boom...u got a fairly decent kid on your hands. Of course kids will be kids and may not be perfect and that's when u give them a reminder. So raise your kid how you want and ill raise mine but I promise u my daughter won't be pregnant at 16 or make any bomb threats.
igottheflyswat

United States

#39 Nov 20, 2013
Horrible wrote:
Pants pulled down for spanking is a sex crime against children. Owensboro has a lot of pedophiles. People should call the police when they witness such crimes. Just because spanking doesn't seem like a very serious crime doesn't mean that's all they do. It's probably the tip of the iceberg. The kind of people who would commit such crimes in front of witnesses would commit much worse crimes when those witnesses aren't there. Imagine what they do to those poor children in the privacy of their bedroom.

So you r an idiot. I agree it shouldn't be done in front of everyone but to say its a sexcrime???? I guess you are a pervert if you give your child a bath?
ABC123

Owensboro, KY

#40 Nov 21, 2013
I've always loved the quote "Discipline your kids so prison guards won't have to." While studying Criminology we learned the statistics of prisoners who were spanked as a child was well over 80%. The problem isn't that parents aren't spanking, the problem is the consequences end there. in school they are allowed to get away with everything and handed a thousand excuses for their behavior. It's moms fault. It's dads fault. It's everyones fault but juniors. When they gt older they keep getting break after break when what they need is to sit their a$$ in jail on work release while they think about what they've done. Kids are listening to trashy music and admiring even trashier celebrities. Moms used to stay home and raise their kids but now everyone has to work 2 jobs just to pay bills so kids are raising themselves.
mr unPC

Owensboro, KY

#42 Nov 21, 2013
If my kid acts up, I whip his A$$. He has a healthy fear of me, but he loves his daddy and I love him. I don't believe in beating on your kids, but I'll wear his butt out, and it WILL be red, and it WILL hurt, and I WILL do it in public with no fear or remorse. And if the social services get called, let them come out to my place. If she's hot, I'll pull her pants down and spank her too.
Katie

London, UK

#44 Dec 15, 2013
I'm 39 and my daughter is 13. She has been spanked since about the age of 5. I never use any tools, just my right hand. Yeah I do smack her on the bare. After the bad things she has done, I do not see why she should have her knickers up. I have smacked her infront of family and friends, it teaches her not to be naughty and respect. She knows I love her dearly and that I would never hit her out of anger of rage.
When she needs a spanking, I call her down to the living room, sometimes I have a friend or 2 over. Only females though, who also spank there children. Tell her that she is getting that bum smacked, for the offence she commited. The order her to strip from the waste down. She doesn't have to take it all off, just skirt, then can pull her leggings/tights/jeans down. I then tell her off, and pull down her knickers in one movement.
She goes over my knee, for smacks. Then back to her room for the rest of her night.
tsk

Owensboro, KY

#45 Dec 15, 2013
Katie wrote:
I'm 39 and my daughter is 13. She has been spanked since about the age of 5. I never use any tools, just my right hand. Yeah I do smack her on the bare. After the bad things she has done, I do not see why she should have her knickers up. I have smacked her infront of family and friends, it teaches her not to be naughty and respect. She knows I love her dearly and that I would never hit her out of anger of rage.
When she needs a spanking, I call her down to the living room, sometimes I have a friend or 2 over. Only females though, who also spank there children. Tell her that she is getting that bum smacked, for the offence she commited. The order her to strip from the waste down. She doesn't have to take it all off, just skirt, then can pull her leggings/tights/jeans down. I then tell her off, and pull down her knickers in one movement.
She goes over my knee, for smacks. Then back to her room for the rest of her night.
Katie what is your address? You need to be reported

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