Serious question
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Helpmeout

Bowling Green, KY

#1 Oct 24, 2013
I have a question for swingers and couples who engage in sexual play by inviting another or others into the bedroom...
My bf and I have engaged in sexual play with other women, and its hot! We both enjoy it. But it's became the "focus" of our sex... How do I get him to just enjoy crave and desire me without the constant want & desire of the other?

when he gets horny he immediately wants to talk about threesome scenarios and this may be before or during sex.
Sometimes I just want him to be turned on by me and him... And our sex!!!!

Has he lost that forever? Once u start swinging or engaging in threesomes, does sex with just ur partner become less exciting? Less desirable?

We have always had a very strong hot sexual relationship even before the threesomes ... We could get so turned on just from each other and talking about what we would or want to do... And now he just always wants to talk about what her and I will do or what he wants to see... And that's great. It turns me on. BUT. I still need him to want just ME AND HIM and crave "regular sex" like he use to...

I was always hesitant about getting into threesomes and such bc I've heard negative outcomes... So give me the good the bad the ugly.
Have I lost him???? Has our threesomes topped our greatest sex and now regular sex is dead? Boring?
Yes

Owensboro, KY

#2 Oct 24, 2013
Regular sex is not fun for him.
Man

Toledo, OH

#3 Oct 24, 2013
Helpmeout wrote:
I have a question for swingers and couples who engage in sexual play by inviting another or others into the bedroom...
My bf and I have engaged in sexual play with other women, and its hot! We both enjoy it. But it's became the "focus" of our sex... How do I get him to just enjoy crave and desire me without the constant want & desire of the other?
when he gets horny he immediately wants to talk about threesome scenarios and this may be before or during sex.
Sometimes I just want him to be turned on by me and him... And our sex!!!!
Has he lost that forever? Once u start swinging or engaging in threesomes, does sex with just ur partner become less exciting? Less desirable?
We have always had a very strong hot sexual relationship even before the threesomes ... We could get so turned on just from each other and talking about what we would or want to do... And now he just always wants to talk about what her and I will do or what he wants to see... And that's great. It turns me on. BUT. I still need him to want just ME AND HIM and crave "regular sex" like he use to...
I was always hesitant about getting into threesomes and such bc I've heard negative outcomes... So give me the good the bad the ugly.
Have I lost him???? Has our threesomes topped our greatest sex and now regular sex is dead? Boring?
No , most likely you are just over thinking it and being paranoid . If the great sex was already there then it's still there . Having a third person may have made it fun for that short time , but it doesn't take away what was already there in the first place . All men at some point dream of having two woman at once that's natural.
yep

Bowling Green, KY

#4 Oct 24, 2013
It goes as is: he was eating hamburger steaks. Hamburger steaks were good and knocked out his craving and filled him up, because he didn’t know there was anything better. Then one day, you set a top of the line steak in front of him and it was better much better than the hamburger steak, it melted in his mouth. Now, when you are broke and can’t afford the good steak, you can still fall back on the hamburger steak. Put a little a-1 on it to cover up the flavor and trick his taste buds into thinking it’s a grade-A steak. He will get full, but he still tastes the difference and the taste isn’t as satisfying. He’s had a taste of the best.
Honey you are the hamburger. You gave him a steak. Nobody wants to go backwards. Once you have had the best, you don’t want anything less.
Henry B

Toledo, OH

#5 Oct 24, 2013
Well who knows really that's a good questions . Woman now days are hard to read and understand . Sometimes they wanna say they believe their partner is " holding back" and hey want it rougher , but don't know how to tell them without coming off like a slut and somedays they (You woman) want your pussy licked by another female and then all of a sudden they only want it to be the two of you the way it use to be. Probably what's going on here is most likely " Trust or jealousy issues" . You woman want to live a lie then be lucky you even get what you're given .
Pretty Simple

Owensboro, KY

#6 Oct 24, 2013
All in all it's a very simple answer. Tell him what you just told us. In DETAIL. Let him know that the threesomes were a treat for you both but you are not comfortable with making that "the norm". Change things up a bit. Blindfold him, watch some porn, use a toy on yourself and make him watch, make him use a toy on himself while you play with yourself across the room. Threesome didn't ruin your relationship but if you aren't careful lack of communication is going to.
Helpmeout

Bowling Green, KY

#7 Oct 24, 2013
Ok, well I can't talk to him in detail bc he gets mad then doesn't want sex at all. But with that said, I am not saying our sex is bad bc its great .... I just want when its me and him for the focus to be on us and not thinking/talking of the other... I don't want him to have to talk about a threesome to get horny or be thinking if the threesome while we are just having the norm. And our norm already includes very kinky sex... We have never lacked in the sexual dept... But for example, now since we have had the threesomes say i go home tonight and blindfold him or do any of the mentioned then it will immediately make him go into saying "baby, lets get "so-n-so" over here , I want to watch u eat her and ect... That's my problem... I want him to ENJOY and be satisfied with our kinkiness alone and not keep comparing it to the threesomes. Makes me feel like what WE have alone just doesn't measure up to the other...
And even though the hamburger comment made me cry, maybe u have a point.
Henry B

Toledo, OH

#8 Oct 24, 2013
Helpmeout wrote:
Ok, well I can't talk to him in detail bc he gets mad then doesn't want sex at all. But with that said, I am not saying our sex is bad bc its great .... I just want when its me and him for the focus to be on us and not thinking/talking of the other... I don't want him to have to talk about a threesome to get horny or be thinking if the threesome while we are just having the norm. And our norm already includes very kinky sex... We have never lacked in the sexual dept... But for example, now since we have had the threesomes say i go home tonight and blindfold him or do any of the mentioned then it will immediately make him go into saying "baby, lets get "so-n-so" over here , I want to watch u eat her and ect... That's my problem... I want him to ENJOY and be satisfied with our kinkiness alone and not keep comparing it to the threesomes. Makes me feel like what WE have alone just doesn't measure up to the other...
And even though the hamburger comment made me cry, maybe u have a point.
I'am taking that you two don't talk about much of anything because your to busy talking to strangers about what you both should do and shouldn't do? You should try talking to him sometimes you ladies fail to remember we also are human and have feelings & not just with our dicks . So what's his opinion on you talking to Topix instead of him about this?
Its strange

Toledo, OH

#9 Oct 24, 2013
You sound just like a girl I use to know . Good thing I found her out though because this girl I knew of was the biggest liar and cheat I've ever came across. I know it's not her though because she moved away and doesn't have contact with anyone anymore around here .
Helpmeout

Bowling Green, KY

#10 Oct 24, 2013
Henry b - I take it that u and ur woman have issues....
My bf and I communicate a lot. I know myself and i know I tend to over analyze situations. I was hoping to hear from other experienced swingers/couples that do the same thing. I want to know, is the sex between us going to be ENOUGH now that we have ventured out.
We both have fun with what we do. But he can't stop once its done. He wants to continue the conversation during intimate times with me when I need him to be focused and centered on "us" like we use to be.
We do not have trust issues. We have for the most part a great relationship but like every couple we have our moments.
I would like to hear from other couples who bring others in the bedroom....
I basically am afraid that maybe I opened our relationship up to something that will end up taking more away from US than adding to...
Henry B

Toledo, OH

#11 Oct 24, 2013
Helpmeout wrote:
Henry b - I take it that u and ur woman have issues....
My bf and I communicate a lot. I know myself and i know I tend to over analyze situations. I was hoping to hear from other experienced swingers/couples that do the same thing. I want to know, is the sex between us going to be ENOUGH now that we have ventured out.
We both have fun with what we do. But he can't stop once its done. He wants to continue the conversation during intimate times with me when I need him to be focused and centered on "us" like we use to be.
We do not have trust issues. We have for the most part a great relationship but like every couple we have our moments.
I would like to hear from other couples who bring others in the bedroom....
I basically am afraid that maybe I opened our relationship up to something that will end up taking more away from US than adding to...
No I do believe you've got me all wrong me and my (Girls) don't have any issues that's where you have mistaken . And if my memory serves me well I do believe you my dear are the one with an issue that's coming to Topix asking for advice and I was only sharing with you my thoughts as were asked for by YOU ;)
Megan

Toledo, OH

#12 Oct 24, 2013
Helpmeout wrote:
Henry b - I take it that u and ur woman have issues....
My bf and I communicate a lot. I know myself and i know I tend to over analyze situations. I was hoping to hear from other experienced swingers/couples that do the same thing. I want to know, is the sex between us going to be ENOUGH now that we have ventured out.
We both have fun with what we do. But he can't stop once its done. He wants to continue the conversation during intimate times with me when I need him to be focused and centered on "us" like we use to be.
We do not have trust issues. We have for the most part a great relationship but like every couple we have our moments.
I would like to hear from other couples who bring others in the bedroom....
I basically am afraid that maybe I opened our relationship up to something that will end up taking more away from US than adding to...
If your relationship is so wonderful I'am only wondering why another was even added in the mix? How many times? Was it with a close friend? And how long have the two of you been in the relationship? That also will make a tremendous difference if the relationship can uphold after this has been done.
need2know

Owensboro, KY

#13 Oct 24, 2013
He's just still excited about the threesome. It's not that that's the only thing that turns him on. It's like if you experience something exciting in your life, doesn't have to be sexual, you replay it constantly so you can relive that moment over and over in order to keep experiencing that amazing feeling.

I'd suggest keeping your sex life between you and him for awhile and sharing your threesome together without involving someone else. Eventually the new and exciting will wear off and the two of you can find something else exciting to share and the threesome will be a past memory.
Bradly

Madisonville, KY

#14 Oct 24, 2013
Helpmeout wrote:
Henry b - I take it that u and ur woman have issues....
My bf and I communicate a lot. I know myself and i know I tend to over analyze situations. I was hoping to hear from other experienced swingers/couples that do the same thing. I want to know, is the sex between us going to be ENOUGH now that we have ventured out.
We both have fun with what we do. But he can't stop once its done. He wants to continue the conversation during intimate times with me when I need him to be focused and centered on "us" like we use to be.
We do not have trust issues. We have for the most part a great relationship but like every couple we have our moments.
I would like to hear from other couples who bring others in the bedroom....
I basically am afraid that maybe I opened our relationship up to something that will end up taking more away from US than adding to...
HMU if it doesn't work out . If interested I'll send email . What's for dinner anyways?
Billy

Hopkinsville, KY

#15 Oct 24, 2013
Take it to another level. Dangerous places. Examples elevator, park bathroom, tower at panther creek, bathroom hobby lobby. You have to show another side of you. Nothing is better than a woman who knows what a man wants. And honey we want it all the time and like adventure.
Another guy

Evansville, IN

#16 Oct 24, 2013
If he loves you. He shouldn't need anyone else but you. Not to break you all up. But when he starts talking about another girl. Ask him why can't we add a guy? See how he feels about that
okay-

Madisonville, KY

#17 Oct 24, 2013
This is discusting. If you wanted him to focus on you because after all he is with you, you shouldn't have allowed that oppurtunity to come about. You fcked up big time. You want him to want you, not anybody else. That's all I'm gonna say.
insideinfo

Hopkinsville, KY

#18 Oct 25, 2013
I agree what if you both caught something?then who do you blame?and who do you leave? I would never share my man. If he needs something extra than its granted...but not that. Almost anything butt that..hahahahaahaha
need2know

Owensboro, KY

#19 Oct 25, 2013
insideinfo wrote:
I agree what if you both caught something?then who do you blame?and who do you leave? I would never share my man. If he needs something extra than its granted...but not that. Almost anything butt that..hahahahaahaha
Then don't judge someone that makes different choices than yourself. Not everyone does the same thing as you. It isn't wrong or disgusting. Just different.
big guy

Toledo, OH

#20 Oct 25, 2013
I guess y'all don't have much going with each other to involve a nother woman to the bed . Y'all both must not be satisfied with each other or care about each other.

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