Divorced dad worried that ex lets dau...

Divorced dad worried that ex lets daughter sleep in same bed

There are 192 comments on the Chicago Tribune story from May 18, 2008, titled Divorced dad worried that ex lets daughter sleep in same bed. In it, Chicago Tribune reports that:

D ear Amy: I am a single dad with a 10-year-old daughter. When my daughter was born, my wife and I owned a house with one bedroom on the ground floor and two bedrooms on the second floor.

Join the discussion below, or Read more at Chicago Tribune.

First Prev
of 10
Next Last
Just Me

Lynnwood, WA

#1 May 19, 2008
Ok, I know we've already hashed this out to no end with the last letter about a child who was sleeping with their parent well past the point that most of the people posting thought was appropriate, but here goes...

I think, male of female child,sleeping with mom or dad, at this age is not a good thing. This girl needs her own space, she should be in her own bed.
Garth Algar

United States

#2 May 19, 2008
Get to work everyone. No entertainment value in today's letters. (or create your own fun)
hannah

Denton, TX

#3 May 19, 2008
LW-1 there are a few things that seem off in this letter, but I know that the co-sleeping topic is a heated one, so I'll stay away from that part of the letter. However, I will say I find it interesting that the letter writer used a year to distinguish when he moved out rather than stating his child's age as he did twice in the letter.
"My daughter is ten" "When my daughter was four.."
it just seems weird that he wouldn't use his daughter's age to clarify when he moved out.(in 2002) Not that we couldn't do the math, but it just seemed odd.
I'm probably reading too much into it though.
are you kidding me

AOL

#6 May 19, 2008
you left so unless what she is doing is illegal or physically harmful you have no say.
Angelique

Vancouver, WA

#7 May 19, 2008
LW3. I remember this letter from a Miss Manners column. Garth Algar is right no entertainment value in today's letters.

EEE where are you? Your letters are so much better.
iconoclast59

Wayne, IL

#8 May 19, 2008
LW1 - Five-plus years is plenty of time to get past the trauma of the separation and divorce. A ten-year-old girl should be sleeping in her own bed, in her own room. LW1 didn't say whether the other bedroom on the 2nd floor was occupied -- perhaps Mom can move there if she feels she needs to be closer to her daughter. I think Amy's onto something when she says that the ex-wife may be encouraging the co-sleeping out of her own sense of neediness, not the daughter's. Kids should never be emotional surrogates for their parents, which is another reason why the girl should be in her own room.

LW3 - Oh, Amy, you really shouldn't have said, "Spend only what you can safely afford." I once dated a guy who was "so tight he squeaked" when it came to money. We were invited to the swanky downtown wedding of some very good friends of his. Since they were his friends, and he worked only a block or two from the (then) Marshall Field's on State St, I told him to swing by there and pick out something from the couple's registry. He came home that night with a small box that contained...two linen napkins! I asked how much they cost; he proudly replied that they were only $8 each,'cause they were on sale! I had to give him a crash course on the average cost of weddings and explain to him that the couple was probably spending $70 minimum to wine and dine us at the reception, and we were NOT going to embarrass ourselves by walking in there with a $16 gift! We wound up going back to Field's and getting the the rest of the napkins (12 total), which still felt kind of cheesy to me; I felt that, if that was what we were going to pick from the registry, we should've got the full set, i.e., napkins AND tablecloth. But we couldn't afford the entire set, and I didn't want to quibble about it anymore. Anyway, Amy should've given LW3 a estimated minimum amount, just in case he/she is a cheapskate like my ex-BF!
hannah

Denton, TX

#9 May 19, 2008
regarding funny registry stories- a friend of a friend registered for a toilet plunger! i really wish I was kidding. I still have a hard time understanding why you would register for that, and that my friend actually bought it for them!
Heather of Collinsville

West Hartford, CT

#10 May 19, 2008
Wow... two old topics in one column. I thought there were more issues in our society to discuss than wedding presents and child sleeping arrangements.

Ok folks, let's try this letter instead...

Dr Polarity, Dienne, Rational, EEE, Flawless, Angelique, et al,

My friend (yes, it's really a friend) recently learned that she had been utterly deceived by her ex-boyfriend.

They dated for 6 months. After their first two dates he informed her that he was in the process of divorcing. He assured her that the only issue remaining was child custody. He pursued her with poems, love letters, songs, etc, but my friend was hesitant to date him. After a month of wooing, he hooked her.

After 6 months, he dumped her via email stating that he needed to focus on his children during this difficult divorce. He ended it by saying how much he loved her and hoped they could be together after his divorce was final and his life was settled.

One week later, she was checking out his website (he's a photographer). She noticed a blog about marriage. The whole blog was about how difficult marriage was and how his wife was his shinning star. It was a sanctimonious load of bull sh!t. My friend was crushed.

She confronted him. He told her she didn't understand. He had to try to fix
his marriage for his kids. She asked if he had ever filed for divorce. He refused to answer.

She believes she should tell his wife that her husband has been deceiving other women into affairs. She doesn't want to hurt her or his children, but she feels that she would want to know if her husband cheated. What do you think?

Torn in Collinsville

How'd I do EEE? To long? It is a reall situation though.
Stone Thrower

Chelsea, MA

#11 May 19, 2008
Heather of Collinsville wrote:
Wow... two old topics in one column. I thought there were more issues in our society to discuss than wedding presents and child sleeping arrangements.
Ok folks, let's try this letter instead...
Torn in Collinsville
How'd I do EEE? To long? It is a reall situation though.
Did you write about this before? It seems very familiar. I think your friend should give her ex a choice. Either he tells his wife or she will.

Its intrusive and I'm sure on some level wrong for her to meddle, but if he is stepping out on his wife he could also be putting her at risk for diseases. That alone is worth the ultimatum.
sarahm

Storrs Mansfield, CT

#12 May 19, 2008
Heather of Collinsville wrote:
She doesn't want to hurt her or his children, but she feels that she would want to know if her husband cheated. What do you think?
Torn in Collinsville
How'd I do EEE? To long? It is a reall situation though.
If I were the wife, I'd definitely want to know if my husband was being unfaithful. Not only is the husband deceiving his wife by sleeping around, he could infect her with an STD and destroy her health.

But that's just me; others may have different opinions.
hannah

Denton, TX

#13 May 19, 2008
Heather- that letter sounds very familiar. Didn't you post this before?

Garth Algar

United States

#14 May 19, 2008
Heather of Collinsville wrote:
Ok folks, let's try this letter instead...
She believes she should tell his wife that her husband has been deceiving other women into affairs. She doesn't want to hurt her or his children, but she feels that she would want to know if her husband cheated. What do you think?
Torn in Collinsville
(flips a coin) Heads, tell her.
Chicago Boy

Minneapolis, MN

#15 May 19, 2008
Heard this at many, many Polish weddings in Chitown: "Don't seal the envelop until after the reception." Happened more than one would think it would.
Heather of Collinsville

West Hartford, CT

#16 May 19, 2008
hannah wrote:
Heather- that letter sounds very familiar. Didn't you post this before?
I don't think so, but anything is possible.
cindy fl

Tallahassee, FL

#17 May 19, 2008
oh gag me. I swear if ever get married will forego gifts altogether. dont your money money to ch arity ps!!
marie s

Greenwood, IN

#18 May 19, 2008
iconoclast is right on. and, sorry, but after throwing my own wedding (modest and still expensive), I do believe guests should give a minimum (these days) of $100 or so. And about the napkin story -- I was laughing, because we had one guest who did just that -- gave us only napkins. What blew me away, was we had probably 2 guests or so who showed up and gave absolutely nothing. Rude!

Re: lw1: is anyone besides me rolling their eyes at the semantic BS term "co-sleeping"? It's horse hockey. It's called "sleeping with the parents." Yes, I know, no sex, but "co-sleeping" sounds like a way to Nice-up some not-so-cool behavior. Yuck.
EEE

Chicago, IL

#19 May 19, 2008
Heather of Collinsville wrote:
<quoted text>
I don't think so, but anything is possible.
Hi, HofC!!!

Either you posted this story once already or else this c*ckscab has multiple girls on the line and they all have friends who post in Topix.

I say give the guy a chance to come clean to wifey-poo but if not, TELL HER.
Jane

United States

#20 May 19, 2008
marie s wrote:
iconoclast is right on. and, sorry, but after throwing my own wedding (modest and still expensive), I do believe guests should give a minimum (these days) of $100 or so. And about the napkin story -- I was laughing, because we had one guest who did just that -- gave us only napkins. What blew me away, was we had probably 2 guests or so who showed up and gave absolutely nothing. Rude!
Re: lw1: is anyone besides me rolling their eyes at the semantic BS term "co-sleeping"? It's horse hockey. It's called "sleeping with the parents." Yes, I know, no sex, but "co-sleeping" sounds like a way to Nice-up some not-so-cool behavior. Yuck.
So if you invited a relatives, a family including of a parents and 3 children, you would expect the parents to pay $500.00 for the pleasure of attending your reception?
I get it - it cost a lot of money for receptions - but I don't think it is realistic to expect your guests to foot the bill. If you can't afford it - don't do it.
Jane

United States

#21 May 19, 2008
should read "a family including two parents" sorry.
idunno

Portland, OR

#22 May 19, 2008
I tried this, but my guests wanted a registry, so i put a few things on the registry and they bought every single item and asked me to go back and add more. It was awful. It was a fantastic reunion with friends and family, I wish someone had advised me to schedule an extra day to take all them out for brunch the next day so we could really visit.
cindy fl wrote:
oh gag me. I swear if ever get married will forego gifts altogether. dont your money money to ch arity ps!!

Tell me when this thread is updated:

Subscribe Now Add to my Tracker
First Prev
of 10
Next Last

Add your comments below

Characters left: 4000

Please note by submitting this form you acknowledge that you have read the Terms of Service and the comment you are posting is in compliance with such terms. Be polite. Inappropriate posts may be removed by the moderator. Send us your feedback.

Orlando Discussions

Title Updated Last By Comments
News Barack Obama, our next President (Nov '08) 2 min Earl 1,707,243
CASEY: Does the State Have the Goods to Convict? (Mar '10) 4 hr Murphey_Law 515,695
News Once slow-moving threat, global warming speeds ... (Dec '08) 11 hr SWEET FARTS 64,463
New Game ***Last Word + 2 (Oct '11) 12 hr Joi C 13,111
Word Association 2 (Jul '10) 14 hr So_da_lish_us 23,147
3 word game (Jan '11) 14 hr So_da_lish_us 14,352
News Feds raid Florida Career College campuses (Oct '07) 19 hr Victim Jr 366

Orlando Jobs

More from around the web

Personal Finance

Orlando Mortgages