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“Tactful & Classy”

Level 1

Since: Oct 08

at all times

#1 Jan 11, 2011
Let's yuk it up about something other than Nut Hutters and Mascot.
Post funny videos, pictures or jokes.

“Tactful & Classy”

Level 1

Since: Oct 08

at all times

#2 Jan 11, 2011
Cute baby and dog crying.

&fe ature=related
Chief Wiggums

Mason, OH

#3 Jan 11, 2011
Chief Wiggums

Mason, OH

#4 Jan 11, 2011

“Tactful & Classy”

Level 1

Since: Oct 08

at all times

#5 Jan 11, 2011
Chief Wiggums wrote:
I think I heard that conversation a couple of nights ago!

“Tactful & Classy”

Level 1

Since: Oct 08

at all times

#6 Jan 11, 2011
Chief Wiggums wrote:
ACK!!!!
I too skeered to watch it !
Chief Wiggums

Mason, OH

#7 Jan 11, 2011
sanka wrote:
<quoted text>
ACK!!!!
I too skeered to watch it !
Lol. sounds like my daughter..
Chief Wiggums

Mason, OH

#8 Jan 12, 2011
Chief Wiggums

Mason, OH

#9 Jan 13, 2011

“Don't Worry Be Happy”

Since: Apr 09

Happytown, USA

#10 Jan 13, 2011
My husband received this e-mail from a friend. I thought I'd share with you.
Only A Man Would Attempt This (OUCH)
Just try reading this without laughing till you cry!!!
Pocket Taser Stun Gun, A Great Gift For The Wife
A guy who purchased his lovely wife a pocket taser for their anniversary submitted this:
Last weekend I saw something at Larry's Pistol & Pawn Shop that sparked my interest. The occasion was our 15th anniversary, and I was looking for a little something extra for my wife Julie. What I came across was a 100,000-volt, pocket/purse-sized taser.
The effects of the taser were to be short lived, with no long term adverse affect on your assailant, allowing her adequate time to retreat to safety...??
WAY TO COOL! Long story short, I bought the device and brought it home. I loaded two AAA batteries in the darn thing and pushed the button.
Nothing! I was disappointed. I learned, however, that if I pushed the button and pressed it against a metal surface at the same time, I'd get the blue arc back and forth between prongs.
AWESOME!!! Unfortunately, I have yet to explain to Julie what that burn spot is on the face of her microwave.
Okay, so I was home alone with a new toy, thinking to myself that it couldn't be all that bad with only two AAA batteries, right?
There I sat in my recliner, my cat Gracie looking on intently (trusting little soul) and then thought better of it. She is such a sweet cat, but if I was going to give this thing to my wife to protect herself against a mugger, I did want some assurance that it would work as advertised.
Am I wrong?
So, there I sat in a pair of shorts and a tank top with my reading glasses perched delicately on the bridge of my nose, directions in one hand, and taser in another. The directions said that a one-second burst would shock and disorient your assailant; a two-second burst was supposed to cause muscle spasms and a major loss of bodily control; and a three-second burst would purportedly make your assailant flop on the ground like a fish out of water. Any burst longer than three seconds would be wasting the batteries.
All the while I'm looking at this little device measuring about 5" long, less than 3/4 inch in circumference (loaded with two itsy, bitsy AAA batteries); pretty cute really, and thinking to myself, "no possible way!"
What happened next is almost beyond description, but I'll do my best.
I'm sitting there alone, Gracie looking on with her head cocked to one side so as to say, "Don't do it stupid," reasoning that a one-second burst from such a tiny lil ole thing couldn't hurt all that bad... I decided to give myself a one-second burst just for the heck of it.
I touched the prongs to my naked thigh, pushed the button, and
HOLY MOTHER OF GOD. WEAPONS OF MASS DESTRUCTION. WHAT THE ...!!!
I was pretty sure Hulk Hogan ran in through the side door, picked me up in the recliner, then body slammed us both on the carpet, over and over again. I vaguely recall waking up on my side in the fetal position, with tears in my eyes, body soaking wet, both nipples on fire, testicles nowhere to be found, with my left arm tucked under my body in the oddest position, and tingling in my legs! The cat was making meowing sounds I had never heard before, clinging to a picture frame hanging above the fireplace, obviously in an attempt to avoid getting slammed by my body flopping all over the living room.

Cont.

“Don't Worry Be Happy”

Since: Apr 09

Happytown, USA

#11 Jan 13, 2011
Note: If you ever feel compelled to 'mug' yourself with a taser, one note of caution:

There is NO such thing as a second burst when you zap yourself! You will not let go of that thing until it is dislodged from your hand by a violent thrashing about on the floor! A three-second burst would be considered conservative! A minute or so later (I can't be sure, as time was a relative thing at that point), I collected my wits (what little I had left), sat up and surveyed the landscape. My bent reading glasses were on the mantel of the fireplace... The recliner was upside down and about 8 feet or so from where it originally was. My triceps, right thigh and both nipples were still twitching. My face felt like it had been shot up with Novocaine, and my bottom lip weighed 88 lbs. I had no control over the drooling. Apparently I had shit myself, but was too numb to know for sure, and my sense of smell was gone. I saw a faint smoke cloud above my head, which I believe came from my hair.

I'm still looking for my testicles, and I'm offering a significant award for their safe return!

P.S. My wife cant stop laughing about my experience, loved the gift and now regularly threatens me with it!

“U DTF wit me?”

Since: Jan 11

Location hidden

#12 Jan 14, 2011
What's funny is taking a black cock at the same time while ur taking a white cock

“Tactful & Classy”

Level 1

Since: Oct 08

at all times

#13 Jan 14, 2011
Oh my, a not so funny post.
Flipping freak.

“Tactful & Classy”

Level 1

Since: Oct 08

at all times

#14 Jan 14, 2011
Just went and looked that new poster is a poor inbred teeager from the hills of West Virginia.
I hope they have stay in school.
Chief Wiggums

Mason, OH

#15 Jan 14, 2011

“Don't Worry Be Happy”

Since: Apr 09

Happytown, USA

#16 Jan 14, 2011
You want to see something funny? Make fun of the Little Engine That Could, and watch ngrace come out swinging for her man!!! LOL!

“Concerning children”

Level 8

Since: Nov 09

Location hidden

#17 Jan 14, 2011
tribe mom wrote:
You want to see something funny? Make fun of the Little Engine That Could, and watch ngrace come out swinging for her man!!! LOL!
That would be funny... Also if no one responds to any of their posts, and just talk about 'em to the Caylee supporters, the meltdown should be amusing when they can't get a response...lol...or some one does, don't hit the reply button.

“Tactful & Classy”

Level 1

Since: Oct 08

at all times

#18 Jan 29, 2011
Voted Best Joke in Ireland

John O'Reilly hoisted his beer and said, "Here's to spending the rest of me life,
between the legs of me wife!"

That won him the top prize at the pub for the best toast of the night!

He went home and told his wife, Mary, "I won the prize for the Best toast of the night."

She said, "Aye, did ye now. And what was your toast?"

John said, "Here's to spending the rest of me life, sitting in church beside me wife."

"Oh, that is very nice indeed, John!" Mary said.

The next day, Mary ran into one of John's drinking buddies on the street corner.
The man chuckled leeringly and said, "John won the prize the other night at the pub
with a toast about you, Mary."

She said, "Aye, he told me, and I was a bit surprised myself. You know, he's only
been in there twice in the last four years. Once he fell asleep, and the other time
I had to pull him by the ears to make him come."
Saturday

Ormond Beach, FL

#19 Jan 29, 2011
Second Opinion!

The doctor said,' Jo e, the good news is I can cure your headaches. The bad news is that it will require castration

You have a very rare condition, which causes your testicles to press on your spine and the pressure creates one hell of a headache. The only way to relieve the pressure is to remove the testicles.'

Joe was shocked and depressed. He wondered if he had anything to live for.He had no choice but to go under the knife. When he left the hospital, he was without a headache for the first time in 20 years, but he felt like he was missing an important part of himself. As he walked down the street, he realized that he felt like a different person. He could make a new beginning and live a new life.

He saw a men's clothing store and thought,'That's what I need... A new suit...'

He entered the shop and told the salesman,'I'd like a new suit..'

The elderly tailor eye d him briefly and said,'Let's see... Size 44 long.'

Joe laughed,'That's right, how did you know?'

'Been in the business 60 years!' the tailor said.

Joe tried on the suit it fit perfectly.

As Jo e admired himself in the mirror, the salesman asked,'How about a new shirt?'

Joe thought for a moment and then said,'Sure.'

The salesman eyed Jo e and said,'Let's see, 34 sleeves and 16-1/2 neck.'

Joe was surprised,'That's right, how did you know?'

'Been in the business 60 years.'

Joe tried on the shirt and it fit perfectly.

Joe walked comfortably around the shop and the salesman asked,'How about some new underwear?'

Joe thought for a moment and said,'Sure.'

The salesman said,'Let's see... Size 36.

Joe laughed,'Ah ha! I got you! I've worn a size 34 since I was 18 years old.'

The salesman shook his head,'You can't wear a size 34. A size 34 would press your testicles up against the base of your spine and give you one hell of a headache.'

New suit -$400
New shirt -$36
New underwear -$6
Second Opinion - PRICELESS

“Justice for Caylee”

Level 3

Since: Jun 09

Location hidden

#20 Jan 30, 2011
Texting Lingo for Seniors
.> ATD: At the Doctor
> BFF: Best Friend Farted
> BTW: Bring the Wheelchair
> BYOT: Bring Your Own Teeth
> CBM: Covered By Medicare
> CGU: Can't get up
> CGIP: Can't get IT up
> DWI: Driving While Incontinent
> FWIW: Forgot Where I Was
> GHA: Got Heartburn Again
> HGBM: Had Good Bowel Movement
> IMHO: Is My Hearing-Aid On?
> LMDO: Laughing My Dentures Out
> LWO: Lawrence Welk's On
> OMSG: Oh My! Sorry, Gas.
> ROFL...CGU: Rolling On the Floor Laughing... and Can't Get Up
> SGGP: Sorry, Gotta Go Poop
> TTYL: Talk to You Louder
> WAITT: Who Am I Talking To?
> WTFA: Wet the Furniture Again
> WTP: Where's The Prunes?
> WWNO: Walker Wheels Need Oil

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