Stepmother jealous that husband kisse...

Stepmother jealous that husband kisses his daughter on the lips

There are 341 comments on the Chicago Tribune story from Jul 23, 2008, titled Stepmother jealous that husband kisses his daughter on the lips. In it, Chicago Tribune reports that:

D ear Amy: How much affection between a father and daughter is considered socially acceptable? My husband, "Ed," always kisses his 22-year-old daughter smack on the lips.

Join the discussion below, or Read more at Chicago Tribune.

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pam

Burlington, WI

#1 Jul 24, 2008
Sounds like a family with cultural differences - maybe he is upset his wife isn't a hugger - you never know.

House might not be able to be sold in this market, good luck! That's why unmarried people who buy homes together need a contract laying out what will happen if they split - could it be they put the house in her name only though he contributed? That's a recipe for disaster!
rebecca

Savage, MN

#2 Jul 24, 2008
LW1 - I was raised in a household without affection (physical kind) but had a tendency to be jealous when my friends' dads would hug or kiss them or say "I love you" just because I think that is what I was craving.

I also was abused by a family member when I was young, so when I do see physical signs of affection like that, I always "wonder" if it is appropriate, too... and possibly feel a little uncomfortable. If any adult male relative wants to hug me (even now as an adult myself) I get suspicious and uncomfortable. Especially if they want to hug a young female relative.

I wonder if wifey here may have had some issues like I did growing up.

-----

About the house -- my boyfriend and I own 5 rental properties plus our home. The current home is in his name only, just because we are not married. He is a veteran and was able to get a VA loan, with WAY better terms than a conventional mortgage, so I am not on the mortgage. We just purchased the house but now will put my name on the quick claim deed, so at least I am listed as an owner. We both contribute 50% to the upkeep and payments. The other properties -- 2 are in his name and 3 are in my name -- we each upkeep separately and are responsible for our own properties. He will help me if something needs a simple repair that I am unable to do, and I will help him find tenants for his properties (something I am good at).

It works well. If we ever split, I don't know what we would do, nothing is in writing, but we aren't anticipating that. If I ever did lose him, then I don't care, he could have the house! I would rather have him than a piece of property!
Michelle

Arlington Heights, IL

#3 Jul 24, 2008
"I don't want to come off sounding like the jealous spouse; I simply believe there are some things that should be reserved for spouses."

Assuming that he is having sex with spouse and not daughter, and holding intimate conversations with spouse and not daughter, there are many things reserved for spouses. In my family, we kissed on the lips, too.
Angelique

Portland, OR

#4 Jul 24, 2008
LW2. Sucker. He needs Amy to tell him he's being used!
AS SEEN ON TV

Loxahatchee, FL

#5 Jul 24, 2008
.

I smell a divorce cookin' up.

He would probably kiss his wife a little more if she wasn't spewing her psychotic poison for "all" to hear.
Aurora

Newark, DE

#6 Jul 24, 2008
Angelique wrote:
LW2. Sucker. He needs Amy to tell him he's being used!
I can't actually believe he needs Amy to tell him that...it should be obvious.
miss cat

Columbus, OH

#7 Jul 24, 2008
LW1 sounds weird, why is she so upset over father-daughter affection? get over yourself.

“Death to humans!”

Since: Jul 08

A long way from here...

#8 Jul 24, 2008
I wonder what "Feel the Meat" will have to say about LW1...

“It's all good”

Since: Jul 08

Leesburg, FL

#9 Jul 24, 2008
Angelique wrote:
LW2. Sucker. He needs Amy to tell him he's being used!
Right....He actually needed to write in on that one....Wow, I would say that LW 2 is living in a alt reality if he thought Amy was going to say "No, You're not being used" I want to take a trip to the world that he lives in - the drugs must be really good there and in the air

“Be the change you wish to see ”

Since: Jul 08

West Hartford, CT

#10 Jul 24, 2008
Does anybody else think LW1 sounds like Cinderella's evil stepmother before her father died?

LW1 is clearly jealous of the affection her husband shows his daughter. Although my Dad and I don't kiss on the lips, I don't see anything wrong with the interaction described between Dad and his sweetheart daughter. Some families kiss on the lips; others kiss on the cheek. It's not a big deal. It's healthy displays of affection. Stepmommie needs to get used to it or move on.

LW2- Wow! I didn't know there were suckers like this out there. I'd heard rumors, but I never really believed someone could be so obtuse.
barb

United States

#11 Jul 24, 2008
I think Rebecca is right about lw1-I to, grew up in a house without affection and my family now is not the hugging type (I am tearing up writing this). I think the stepmother grew up without this or even worse. Now, if the husband was doing a Hulk Hogan, slathing lotion all over his daughter's butt or lingering over the kiss, don't be worried.

The co owner of the house, why did he need advice? Does HE not want to let go?
Got2bme

Brooklyn, NY

#12 Jul 24, 2008
My dad and I have a great relationship, and he has always showed all of us 3 boys and myself alot of affection, There ia nothing wrong when a father and daughter have a close relationship(appropriate) It also helps a girl to "pick" a decent guy, That knows how she should be treated with respect and dignity!!
Sounds like she is a jealous woman!
Midwest Mia

Chicago, IL

#13 Jul 24, 2008
LW!: Control freak!
Angelique

Portland, OR

#14 Jul 24, 2008
Aurora wrote:
<quoted text>
I can't actually believe he needs Amy to tell him that...it should be obvious.
You're right Aurora. That should have been a question mark rather than an exclamation mark after my sentence. It's difficult to believe that anyone would be that naive.
suzyq

Madison, TN

#15 Jul 24, 2008
LW1 has a strange sexual paranoid reverse Oedipal thing going on in her head. A 1-2 second peck on the lips between father and daughter doesn't sound too perverted to me. I kiss my granddaughter & grandson on the lips for a second and I am not entertaining any sexual thoughts about them. Just affection. I tend to call my hubby, friends, boss, even my dog & cat by all kind of silly names - sweet pea,
dearie etc and it really means - nothing. Maybe she was raised in a repressed household where everything is dirty and immoral.

“A half-truth is a whole lie”

Since: Jun 08

United States

#16 Jul 24, 2008
LW1- Simple fact, SOME women no matter the relation to the male will always feel a need to compete for attention. Sounds like you are one. I have seen non related older men kiss younger girls on the lips for a second and it means nothing it's a cultural thing. I, myself would not, but I don't see anything wrong with anyone who does. You need to stop being insecure.

LW2- BIG MISTAKE! Unless you are married, you should not invest into anything with anyone. NEVER! People grow apart, things change, blah-blah-blah. At least when you're married you know where you stand in the division of assets.
Angelique

Portland, OR

#17 Jul 24, 2008
H of C wrote:
Does anybody else think LW1 sounds like Cinderella's evil stepmother before her father died?
LW1 is clearly jealous of the affection her husband shows his daughter. Although my Dad and I don't kiss on the lips, I don't see anything wrong with the interaction described between Dad and his sweetheart daughter. Some families kiss on the lips; others kiss on the cheek. It's not a big deal. It's healthy displays of affection. Stepmommie needs to get used to it or move on.
LW2- Wow! I didn't know there were suckers like this out there. I'd heard rumors, but I never really believed someone could be so obtuse.
Morning HofC!
Angelique

Portland, OR

#18 Jul 24, 2008
JLee1176 wrote:
<quoted text>
Right....He actually needed to write in on that one....Wow, I would say that LW 2 is living in a alt reality if he thought Amy was going to say "No, You're not being used" I want to take a trip to the world that he lives in - the drugs must be really good there and in the air
LOL!

“Death to humans!”

Since: Jul 08

A long way from here...

#19 Jul 24, 2008
Morning Angelique, HofC! How are things today?
Angelique

Portland, OR

#20 Jul 24, 2008
LW1. Family rules differ from family to family. Some families kiss each other on the cheek, some on the lips, some show very little affection. Perhaps the LW is from a family where very little physical affection was shown. This couple could have benefited from premarital counseling where topics such as family rules, communication skills, etc. are discussed. Why hasn't she spoken to her husband about her discomfort. So many of the problems described in the letters to Amy and Abby could have been resolved if people simply communicated with each other.

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