Florida - Birth Battle: Couple Says S...

Florida - Birth Battle: Couple Says Surrogate Mom Won't Give Up...

There are 231 comments on the First Coast News Jacksonville story from Jun 23, 2007, titled Florida - Birth Battle: Couple Says Surrogate Mom Won't Give Up.... In it, First Coast News Jacksonville reports that:

By Grayson Kamm First Coast News JACKSONVILLE, FL -- A couple paid a First Coast woman to have their child because they couldn't conceive on their own.

Join the discussion below, or Read more at First Coast News Jacksonville.

Peta

Australia

#21 Jul 21, 2007
tigertuu wrote:
<quoted text>
I am a biological mother and an adoptive mother. I am a 'real' mother to all of my children. My children by adoption, are not 'unreal' children. My children by adoption are not 'second class' family members. My children by adoption are not 'pretend' family members. They are real. I am real. My family is real. You insult all families that are not 'biological'.
Errrrrr.....Sorry to let you down but you are not the real mother. You are the adoptive mother and a real mother but NOT THE REAL MOTHER.
You are a person who was extremely lucky to hve been given the baby of your child's REAL MOTHER.
Don't deny the truth.
Bob2

Jacksonville, FL

#22 Jul 21, 2007
I can't imagine the pain of couples who find themselves unable to conceive a child together. It makes me sick when people bring God and religion into it - by the way MARY wasn't impregnated by her husband...so that makes her a....surrogate? And not being raised by your natural mother is not always such a bad thing - there are children who are adopted and raised in a happy, healthy homes. My father was one of them - and after meeting his biological mother - he walked away knowing his REAL mother was his adopted mother.

What a horrible position this woman has created for a childless couple. I can imagine giving up a child is painful - but to impregnant yourself with another woman's husband - fail to sign a contract - mislead them - AND then extort money from them is ridiculous. If she changed her mind - there were better ways to handle this. Mothers are selfless - not SELFISH!!!
Peta

Australia

#23 Jul 22, 2007
Bob2 wrote:
I can't imagine the pain of couples who find themselves unable to conceive a child together. It makes me sick when people bring God and religion into it - by the way MARY wasn't impregnated by her husband...so that makes her a....surrogate? And not being raised by your natural mother is not always such a bad thing - there are children who are adopted and raised in a happy, healthy homes. My father was one of them - and after meeting his biological mother - he walked away knowing his REAL mother was his adopted mother.
What a horrible position this woman has created for a childless couple. I can imagine giving up a child is painful - but to impregnant yourself with another woman's husband - fail to sign a contract - mislead them - AND then extort money from them is ridiculous. If she changed her mind - there were better ways to handle this. Mothers are selfless - not SELFISH!!!
So Bob2 if everything was so great for your dad with his adoptive parents, why did he or how did he have contact with his biological mother?
We, persons who grew up without our real parents, crave for reunions...maybe like your dad?
It is weird to be brought up by "other" parents. We just find it hard to tell people like you, as a big part of adoption is GRATEFULNESS, we are brainwashed.
Believe me that little baby doesn't care about Florida's law system. surrogacy, dollars, fights for rights.....she wants her mother.
Fly

Australia

#24 Jul 22, 2007
Sarah talks much about the child's right to interact with her father. Peta talks much about the child's voice. They are right, in my opinion.

Too much of the adoption and surrogacy debate, too much of all the items in the news about celebrities and where they can find new 'kids', are all about money. And buying lives.

It is proven, scientifically, that children bond for the nine months in utero with their mother. They are not born blank slates - such a phrase comes from Roman times, and the ignorance of 2,000 years ago. It is proven that they recognise their mothers smell and touch. When children are denied this right to be with the only person they have known, the person who has helped create them and protect them, when they are denied this they are TRAUMATIZED.

What is in the child's best interest? Worrying about Judgment Day, which still hasn't come after 4 billion years of life? Worrying about the adoptive parents bank account?

Money can't buy affection. Money can't give security. It can't give a sense of self. Is it right that wealthy adults, for their own needs, should destroy another person's sense of self? No, it's not.

What is in the child's best interests? What if the child had a voice? Would it say 'I want to be with my mother', or would it say 'I want to be with the woman who thinks she owns me because she paid for me'? What is a life worth?

If food can't be placed on a table, then these adoptive parents can give money to help support families who feel they must or need give up their children.

If we, as responsible adults in such great nations, want to protect our children, and give them every chance to lead a 'life well lived' then they must have the essential basic - a sense of self. Try to think about what it's like to "not know", as child, as an adolescent, as an adult. Why has anyone the right to take away a child, and a child's sense of self? They don't.

Since: Jun 07

Brunswick, GA

#25 Jul 22, 2007
Yeah the only reason that baby was n utero in the first place was because there was a plan for the baby to live with the father and HIS wife, not the mother.

It doesn't matter whats in the adoptive parents bank accounts or how good of a mom the birth mother was, this child simply would not have been born if not for the fact that the fathers sperm was used in an attempt for surrogacy.

So yeah, the baby had 9 months to bond with the birth mother in the womb but what about the fathers rights? It is HIS baby too.
concerned one

Eddyville, KY

#26 Jul 22, 2007
Peta??? For your info. you just insulted all the mothers out there who for what ever reason are not able to conceive on their own the right to have children through TS or GS.And all adopted children that call their adopted mother, mother not to mention all the surrogates that are doing this for all the right reasons.You don't have to be biologically related to child to be a mother.There are alot of children who just want to be able to have someone they can even call mother.I quote the child of the Baby M story who said I love my family very much and am happy to be with my IP's, I am very happy I ended up with them. I love them, they are my best freinds in the whole world and that is all I have to say about it unquote.These were words straight from Melissa Stern Baby M.And I will leave you with that.
Peta

Australia

#27 Jul 22, 2007
I hope these people either win custody of the child or they don't have to pay damages (child support) on the child and can find another surrogate that is trustworthy.

So yeah, the baby had 9 months to bond with the birth mother in the womb but what about the fathers rights? It is HIS baby too.

Joyleaf7, those are your quotes above.
You rightly talk about the father's rights.
But you don't want him to pay any money to his own flesh and blood unless the baby lives in his house.
Well, I am thinking of the baby here, not the selfish wants of the adults.
Everyone should love and care for this child. The baby did not get into this mess by herself. She deserves to be loved and cared for and not fought over.
Peta

Australia

#28 Jul 22, 2007
Concerned one. I do not mean to insult anyone and I can't work out what a did to upset you. Maybe facing the truth is difficult for you for some reason. An adoptive mother is not the real mother. I say this referring to the fact she did not bear the child. She is not genetically related to it.I am sure adoptive mothers can do real mothering (skills, love, care etc.) It is just black and white. Get real!
Concerned One

White House, TN

#29 Jul 24, 2007
Peta??? You are so hung up on the fact that children are better off with there REAL mother what about the children who were with there REAL mother their biological mother and were abused by there REAL mother and adopted out. Do you still believe they to should be with there REAL mothers. Just because you are related by blood doesn't always mean that you should or even would want to be with your REAL mother. I have known quite a few people through out my life who were adopted and none of them longed for their biological parents because to them there adoptive parents was the only parent they ever wanted to know. Yes I think it is natural for a child who has been adopted to be curious about there biological parents and wonder why there mother gave them up. But I disagree with you that it is a yearning for the biological parents because it is "YOUR BIOLGICAL MOTHER". So I have to disagree with you on the fact that just because you are genetically or blood related that , that somehow makes you better qualified to raise a child or that it is that simple BLACK & WHITE I think you should get real. It sounds to me Peta maybe your a little bit bitter because you yourself were adopted by the wrong people and your basing your analagies on your on experience not all children adopted feels that way.You are intitled to your on feelings. But those feelings want be hashed out in this forum.And you want make me believe that it is that simple. And you have to agree Peta that we emulate the people we are raised by do you think this SM who is scamming these people in Florida should raise this child? Because this child is going to grow up to be just like her scamming mother. Is that what you want for this child to be in 20 years down the road following in her mother's foot steps I think not.But we will have to see what happens want we.

Since: May 07

Fernandina Beach

#31 Jul 24, 2007
Peta wrote:
<quoted text>
Errrrrr.....Sorry to let you down but you are not the real mother. You are the adoptive mother and a real mother but NOT THE REAL MOTHER.
You are a person who was extremely lucky to hve been given the baby of your child's REAL MOTHER.
Don't deny the truth.
Not denial here. I am the child's 'real' mother.

Since: May 07

Fernandina Beach

#32 Jul 24, 2007
Fly wrote:
Sarah talks much about the child's right to interact with her father. Peta talks much about the child's voice. They are right, in my opinion.
Too much of the adoption and surrogacy debate, too much of all the items in the news about celebrities and where they can find new 'kids', are all about money. And buying lives.
It is proven, scientifically, that children bond for the nine months in utero with their mother. They are not born blank slates - such a phrase comes from Roman times, and the ignorance of 2,000 years ago. It is proven that they recognise their mothers smell and touch. When children are denied this right to be with the only person they have known, the person who has helped create them and protect them, when they are denied this they are TRAUMATIZED.
What is in the child's best interest? Worrying about Judgment Day, which still hasn't come after 4 billion years of life? Worrying about the adoptive parents bank account?
Money can't buy affection. Money can't give security. It can't give a sense of self. Is it right that wealthy adults, for their own needs, should destroy another person's sense of self? No, it's not.
What is in the child's best interests? What if the child had a voice? Would it say 'I want to be with my mother', or would it say 'I want to be with the woman who thinks she owns me because she paid for me'? What is a life worth?
If food can't be placed on a table, then these adoptive parents can give money to help support families who feel they must or need give up their children.
If we, as responsible adults in such great nations, want to protect our children, and give them every chance to lead a 'life well lived' then they must have the essential basic - a sense of self. Try to think about what it's like to "not know", as child, as an adolescent, as an adult. Why has anyone the right to take away a child, and a child's sense of self? They don't.
Sometimes, the birth mothers do not want their children. I have seen several case where they absolutely did not want the child or anything to do with it. I have also seen the birth mothers make a little business out of it. I personally know of one who shows up ever year and has for over 7 years. She comes in, gives birth, and the same adoption lawyer picks up the baby. She tells me she makes good money and she makes people happy. She told me once that they ( the babies) weren't hers, she had them for others. This is not a surrogate situation.

For those of you that were adopted and never bonded with your adopted families, sorry to here it. The birth families are not always perfect either.

I adopted children old enough to remember their parents not wanting them. Not making any effort to help them. Neglecting them and abusing them. My children are young adults now. They know who these people are. They have never made any effort to contact them even though I saved everything. Not every adopted child rejects his or her family.
Cammy

Lake Worth, FL

#33 Jul 24, 2007
comments cannot be blank
Cammy

Lake Worth, FL

#34 Jul 24, 2007
tigertuu wrote:
<quoted text>
Sometimes, the birth mothers do not want their children. I have seen several case where they absolutely did not want the child or anything to do with it. I have also seen the birth mothers make a little business out of it. I personally know of one who shows up ever year and has for over 7 years. She comes in, gives birth, and the same adoption lawyer picks up the baby. She tells me she makes good money and she makes people happy. She told me once that they ( the babies) weren't hers, she had them for others. This is not a surrogate situation.
For those of you that were adopted and never bonded with your adopted families, sorry to here it. The birth families are not always perfect either.
I adopted children old enough to remember their parents not wanting them. Not making any effort to help them. Neglecting them and abusing them. My children are young adults now. They know who these people are. They have never made any effort to contact them even though I saved everything. Not every adopted child rejects his or her family.
I've seen children of blood relation wish they weren't. It all depends on each individual family.

Since: Jul 07

Bronx, NY

#35 Jul 24, 2007
Cammy wrote:
<quoted text>
I've seen children of blood relation wish they weren't. It all depends on each individual family.
You are right Cammy!
Fly

Australia

#36 Jul 26, 2007
tigertuu wrote:
<quoted text>
Sometimes, the birth mothers do not want their children. I have seen several case where they absolutely did not want the child or anything to do with it. I have also seen the birth mothers make a little business out of it. I personally know of one who shows up ever year and has for over 7 years. She comes in, gives birth, and the same adoption lawyer picks up the baby. She tells me she makes good money and she makes people happy. She told me once that they ( the babies) weren't hers, she had them for others. This is not a surrogate situation.
I am absolutley stunned at the shameful ignorance that is being expressed so confidently on this website.

Do you think, seriously, that because someone is making a 'good living' out of selling babies, that it is right? Are you equating everything back to the dollar again?

Don't you think that this woman mentioned above, who denies the babies are her's, is wrong. I mean, any rational person would say, well, actually, the baby is your's.

And once again we come back to the simple question, she gives them away to make money, is that in the best interests of the child?

As for abuse and bad real mothers etc etc. It's not the point being argued. 1 in 4 girls are abused, and 1 in 7 boys, statistically. Abuse is terrible. But , if we must argue about abuse, then what about the trauma of emotional and psychological abuse. Should we encourage psychological abuse by stealing someone's identity?

If you actually read about adoption from the adoptee's perspective, you would read many who have been abused etc and who say the WORST thing they have EVER experience is not knowing who they are. The secrets. The lies. The feeling of not belonging. Why don't you get that.

The question being argued is about identity, the best interests of the child, and why people hold up money to be more important than anything else.
Peta

Australia

#37 Jul 26, 2007
Please tigertuu for your childrens sake read Nancy Verrier, Betty Jean Lifton and Joe Soll.
Let the EXPERTS educate you.
I give up.
Just google these names and a new world will open up.
FathersRightsAdv ocate

Pompano Beach, FL

#38 Jul 26, 2007
Sarah: I think that you are completely and wholly inaccurate when you are assuming that Mr. Lamitina does not want to support the child.
Bad assumption. He has stated on the record that since the child is his, he will support the child, regardless of what the Court rules. He just wants to have his child that was intended for him and would be his, but for the fraud and deceit of this Surrogate Mother who should go to prison for her actions.
Is it so wrong for a father to want to be with his child?
Peta

Viewbank, Australia

#39 Jul 26, 2007
Please all read Nancy Verrier's book, The Primal Wound or at least google her.
We all want our "rights" but paramount are the rights of the child.
Read her book to gain a new perspective.
pawsnfur

Dearborn, MI

#40 Jul 27, 2007
I met the biological mother a few years ago when she was a licensed daycare provider. My son was only in her care for three days because he was always dirty and uncared for and her house was dirty and smelled of cigarette smoke. She bragged about her plans to become a surrogate mother because she already had her own kids and wanted to give someone else a child and that she could make a killing....about $30,000 and that her family needed the money. She even said i should consider it, I wouldn't have to go back to work and could make a killing. I left there that day feeling like she was only in it for the money. Her husband has since left her and I wonder what his take is on this. He knows her best. She probably pretended to sign the papers and then flipped the contract closed, so one would think they were signed. Doing that is fraud...making someone think one thing, knowing full well you aren't going to hold up your part of the bargain is being a liar.
Lee

Jacksonville, FL

#41 Jul 27, 2007
The Surrogate mother should face jail time, she didnt sign the papers, but she knew by recieving the check and cashing it that was like signing, if not then that was theft, the Surrogate mother is guilty as hell, her actions show that if it was really a change of heart, she wouldnt be acting this way, she deserves all the crap she will be given. I feel so bad for the family that is going threw this

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