hurting inside
First Prev
of 3
Next Last
needing advice

United States

#1 Dec 27, 2012
How can I get over an ex that was a great person, someone I truely loved and cared for ? He was a drug addict but inside deeply a good person. I don't know why I miss him and think of him often bc of everything he does and did to me . I have another boyfriend and have tried to move on, but it just isn't working. I really need some advice. I don't think he cares about me at all anymore and I'm really having mixed feelings.. will these feelings ever go away?
who

Seattle, WA

#2 Dec 27, 2012
Well who is he? maybe I can talk to him.
needing advice

United States

#3 Dec 27, 2012
I dnt want to say his name because he prob wldnt want it.mentioned . :( he wld hate me for sure if I put his name on here. I just really wish he wld get clean and we cld start all over. I was with him for two years. I feel lost without him. He was my best friend.
character

Wartburg, TN

#4 Dec 27, 2012
Hope things get better for you. A love you can not get over is so sad...almost like a death. Drugs ruins the druggies life as well as the people that love them. I will be praying for you.
Welp

Wartburg, TN

#5 Dec 27, 2012
Best move on! Gets better with time. Drug addicts sadly enough most often end up relapse over and over and over again. Some can go a couple years before it happens and some a couple of months and then your right back being dragged through that mess, they will lose friends, family and your finances will be ruined. Often it gets to the point of domestic violence. Know that you didn't want to hear that but ask yourself this.. Is that really what you want to deal with for the rest of your life and is that what you want your life to be like? Move On!
needing advice

United States

#6 Dec 27, 2012
Thank you. I really do appreciate the comments . It helps me feel better.
sorry

Oneida, TN

#7 Dec 27, 2012
Honey, I am so sorry you are feeling like this but the truth is that if he is a drug addict then he will never love anyone as much as he loves drugs. A life with someone like that will be nothing but pain and sorrow. I know you may care deeply for him but a life with a drug addict is no life at all, and heaven forbid that you all could have children together who would be exposed to his life style.

Time heals all wounds. Stay away from him and happiness will find you when the time is right.
needing advice

United States

#8 Dec 27, 2012
Thank you. It's just been a really tough time for me the past few months . Just keep me in prayer.
well

United States

#9 Dec 27, 2012
How long have you all been separated and is he dating someone also?
truth

New York, NY

#10 Dec 27, 2012
You need to move on. From what you are telling us he is choosing drugs over you and you are the better one for leaving. I agree with the other postings except the praying part but you will be better off physically, mentally, and financial with out him. Also every time you see a cop you don't have to worry about being caught. If he was to truly love you he would quit and get clean and stay away from drug users.
Sorry

Tempe, AZ

#11 Dec 27, 2012
Druggies will never value you as much as they do their drugs. Best to just move on and find someone that you can love and who will love you back. If the guy you're with is not making you happy then he isn't the right one. But the ex BF that's on drugs? He LEFT a LONG TIME AGO. The heartache is not worth it. I found that out. But you get over it and move on. Hope you can too. GL
whatever

Wartburg, TN

#12 Dec 27, 2012
it really bothers me to hear someone call a human being a druggie. It is bad and hurts the whole family. But this is a disease. If a loved one had cancer and hurt the family and finances would you turn your back on them? God can cure this disease and when we start thinking he can't then we are all in trouble. Just believe....
amy

Summerville, SC

#13 Dec 27, 2012
OK so I've been reading this post and I have stayed out of it until now. First off how good of a person are you for not giving your current boyfriend all of you. Does he know you have feelings for an ex? That's deceitful. You're lying to him, not to mention how unfair you're being.
Secondly, to whatever, drug addiction is not a disease. It's a choice that people make. Comparing cancer to addiction? Really? That's why people refuse to take responsibility for what this choice does to their families. "I'm sorry, but it's not my fault I spent all the money for bills, but it's not my fault, it's my disease." Give me a break.
Now to truth, you are absolutely right. Being with someone who doesn't do drugs is great. I am as you know, a former drug addict. I, for one am so glad that I can sit on my front porch, see a county cop go by and not worry bout the cops bothering me.
I just think you should make yourself happy. If that means not being with the guy you're with then so be it, but you should not be deceitful to him.
Jar Head

Knoxville, TN

#14 Dec 27, 2012
Yes sweetie these feelings will eventually go away if you will stop sitting around thiking about how you could have "saved him". My advice to you would be this.......
* Concentrate on your education and career and not on looking for a relationship.
* Break up with your current boyfriend because you are not ready to be in a reltionship at this point.
* Cut ALL ties with your ex, his friends and his family.

You seem like a nice girl and I hope things work out for you. God has a plan for you and a real, meaningful, loving relationship will come to you when you are ready. Just stop looking and trying to manufacture love when it doesnt really exist. I promise this will save you a divorce and a lot of pain and suffering in the future. Best of luck to you.
needing advice

United States

#15 Dec 27, 2012
im not being deceitful. my current bf knows all the pain i go thru about my ex. he knows i still care about him as a person. he is trying to help me overcome all of it. it just makes me sad bc i wanted it to work out realy bad, bc i believe with god all things are possible.
not

Charlotte, NC

#16 Dec 28, 2012
Why do people call drug addiction a disease. That's ignorance trying to place logic. No child grows up with it in them to be on drugs. Yes you can build a dependency to drugs but don't act like they couldn't help it. It's an excuse. As for the ex I'm sorry about that it's been 6 years an from what I've saw it gets easier but you don't forget.
Welp

Wartburg, TN

#17 Dec 28, 2012
I am taking the time to write this because I believe that you are genuine and seeking honest opinions. That said I don't think topix is the best place to get your advice.

Recovering from drug addiction often involves at least one relapse, and many users will backslide multiple times. A lot of addicts will enter addiction treatment programs again and again without achieving long-term sobriety.

So whatÂ’s the point in trying to get off heroin, cocaine or meth if the statistics are so grim? According to the National Institute on Drug Abuse (NIDA), addiction should be treated like any other chronic illness that affects the brain and body. The odds against achieving a flawless recovery are high. However, many recovering addicts still manage their disease.

Another post:
Of the group of people my husband spent 2 years in drug court with, over half have repeated a post drug court rehab, are in prison for new drug related charges or have been in jail since for same. Of the remaining, less than half of those will you find in area meetings and they may, or may not be clean.

We've seen a great majority of the people from the last rehab center he was in, on the streets in questionable, places behavior and attire. My husband has managed to not repeat jail or rehab but has not stayed clean.
I can also say the ones we thought would make it....havent

Again, my last question for you. Do you want the rest of your life to look like this?
whatever

Wartburg, TN

#18 Dec 28, 2012
amy wrote:
OK so I've been reading this post and I have stayed out of it until now. First off how good of a person are you for not giving your current boyfriend all of you. Does he know you have feelings for an ex? That's deceitful. You're lying to him, not to mention how unfair you're being.
Secondly, to whatever, drug addiction is not a disease. It's a choice that people make. Comparing cancer to addiction? Really? That's why people refuse to take responsibility for what this choice does to their families. "I'm sorry, but it's not my fault I spent all the money for bills, but it's not my fault, it's my disease." Give me a break.
Now to truth, you are absolutely right. Being with someone who doesn't do drugs is great. I am as you know, a former drug addict. I, for one am so glad that I can sit on my front porch, see a county cop go by and not worry bout the cops bothering me.
I just think you should make yourself happy. If that means not being with the guy you're with then so be it, but you should not be deceitful to him.
So it doesn't bother you to be called a druggie? I totally disagree with you. I do however agree that at first its a choice, but after that, its like selling your soul to the devil. I've seen people cry and beg for help. They don't want to be in this shape but can't seem to stop it. I've read alot on this and have seen Dr. call it a disease.
amy

Summerville, SC

#19 Dec 28, 2012
whatever wrote:
<quoted text>
So it doesn't bother you to be called a druggie? I totally disagree with you. I do however agree that at first its a choice, but after that, its like selling your soul to the devil. I've seen people cry and beg for help. They don't want to be in this shape but can't seem to stop it. I've read alot on this and have seen Dr. call it a disease.
As hard as it is to admit, I was a druggie. I'm no longer that. I'm a great mother, wife, and someone who has an awesome life now. I don't care what doctor has called drug addiction a disease. It's not. It's a choice. Everyone who is addicted makes the choice to do a pill or not. I truly believe that people who say that it's a disease are letting addicts get away without taking responsibility for their actions. I quit my drug problem with no suboxon, methadone or rehab. I did it on my own after realizing that I had a choice and was responsible for just about destroying my children's lives.
well

United States

#20 Dec 28, 2012
What is your name, if you don't mind me asking?

Tell me when this thread is updated:

Subscribe Now Add to my Tracker
First Prev
of 3
Next Last

Add your comments below

Characters left: 4000

Please note by submitting this form you acknowledge that you have read the Terms of Service and the comment you are posting is in compliance with such terms. Be polite. Inappropriate posts may be removed by the moderator. Send us your feedback.

Oneida Discussions

Title Updated Last By Comments
Trump 3 hr Wyatt 100
Jacob and Elisha Phillips (Oct '15) 7 hr Foreigner 32
R there any young boxers or mma fighters?? 12 hr don lacy 4
Last Days (Jan '16) 22 hr Preach 224
Olivia holtsclaw Fri Olivia Holtsclaw 6
danielle yancey Fri Awesome person 4
Married men Fri Hunnng 9

Oneida Jobs

More from around the web

Personal Finance

Oneida Mortgages