how long should u wait to date after ...

how long should u wait to date after your spouse dies

Created by RESPECT on Nov 12, 2009

983 votes

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1 year atleast

2 years

6 months

1week

1 month

3 of more years

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thinkaboutit

United States

#1 Nov 12, 2009
I guess this really depends on how much you loved your spouse and how long it takes you to get over them. I would say if you really loved them its going to take a couple of years. If there is minor children from the marriage you definitely should wait awhile so they won't have a hard time with you dating.
Cat

Oceana, WV

#2 Nov 12, 2009
That's an interesting question. Morally, I don't think it matters, parted by death. Emotionally, I believe at least a year before a person should even consider it. To love someone and loose them is such a terrible thing to bare. It takes time to grieve and to heal.

I agree with thinkaboutit, when it comes to children and a lost parent. If there are kids, it's a whole other ball game. It really comes to personal choice and finding another right person to spend your life with. It would be difficult.
shadow

Pineville, WV

#3 Nov 12, 2009
How long would they want you to waste away ? They are gone into another plane where there is no jealousy or bad feelings. You are still here, and they wouldn't want you to be lonely, or suffer. So, actually, It's up to you, and you alone. Others will criticize you, no matter how long you wait. Go for it when you're ready. You already realize that life can be gone, for you, in a flash.
dogg

Schaumburg, IL

#4 Nov 13, 2009
(ONLY YOU WILL KNOW) there is no poll that can answer that.In your heart and mind.(only you will know)feeling for you (DOGG)
Nice

Pineville, WV

#5 Nov 13, 2009
Well for me personally, I don't think I would ever date again. My hubby and I are both 45 and we've been married for 25 years. We have two wonderful sons, they are 13 and 15. For me, I could never picture myself with anyone else, ever. No other man could ever fill his shoes or walk in his footsteps. If for some terribly tragic reason, that I should lose him, then I would love him until I died. He is my only real soul mate, and one day, I would join him again in heaven. It would not be fair to another man, because I could never give him my heart. My husband will always and forever have that.

“Do Right”

Since: Dec 08

Oceana

#6 Nov 13, 2009
I think when you lose a spouse, you go into shock for a while. You are told to not make any decisions that will change your life for 6 months. I suppose 6 months to a year would give a person time to grieve and understand their own feelings.

Don't ever make hasty decisions when you lost someone you love.
wellll

Welch, WV

#7 Nov 13, 2009
In my opinion, I think it just depends on the person. Some people get over things faster than others. It doesn't matter how much you loved your spouse; even if you start seeing someone else, that doesn't mean the love you have or had for them is ever going away. Sometimes it's easier to have someone to talk about things with, maybe just a companion or a close friend.
dumb and dumber

Oceana, WV

#8 Nov 13, 2009
Nice wrote:
Well for me personally, I don't think I would ever date again. My hubby and I are both 45 and we've been married for 25 years. We have two wonderful sons, they are 13 and 15. For me, I could never picture myself with anyone else, ever. No other man could ever fill his shoes or walk in his footsteps. If for some terribly tragic reason, that I should lose him, then I would love him until I died. He is my only real soul mate, and one day, I would join him again in heaven. It would not be fair to another man, because I could never give him my heart. My husband will always and forever have that.
Well you and your husband sure do have something rare. I went through a very painful divorce and my heart was shattered. I will never love like that again.
im right

Ann Arbor, MI

#9 Nov 13, 2009
a day or so
Chick

Welch, WV

#10 Nov 13, 2009
I think over time you heal and you want to start over, how long is different for each person, so you cant have a time for everyone.
funny

Pineville, WV

#11 Nov 14, 2009
Well if I die tonight I hope God sends my husband a woman that same night. I love him so much and I want him to have a wonder life. I don't think we should put a time limit on anyone in this time of need. I think let life continue.
Chick

Welch, WV

#12 Nov 14, 2009
I would want my spouse to find love and happiness again. You dont know what your going to do until it happens to you.
Lynco_neighbor

United States

#13 Nov 14, 2009
Chick wrote:
I would want my spouse to find love and happiness again. You dont know what your going to do until it happens to you.
True...i went through it,its very very hard thing go through.my fianace been gone almost 2 yrs january,im still nott over him,i have tried movin on too.i have talked,to 2 guys since hes been gone.he was my love,my mr.right..we was happy..

Level 1

Since: Oct 09

Location hidden

#14 Nov 16, 2009
You should live in solidarity for the rest of your life, and honor your marriage to the grave yourself. That's how much I love my husband.

FDG

“Have facts, will travel!”

Level 7

Since: Feb 08

The Big Town!

#15 Nov 16, 2009
Ignorance is Intolerable wrote:
You should live in solidarity for the rest of your life, and honor your marriage to the grave yourself. That's how much I love my husband.
What about "till death do us part"?

Level 1

Since: Oct 09

Location hidden

#16 Nov 17, 2009
FDG wrote:
<quoted text>
What about "till death do us part"?
I take that as until we both die, and then will again meet in heaven. I'm not being totally serious, but I think at least a good 15 year waiting period is in order.

FDG

“Have facts, will travel!”

Level 7

Since: Feb 08

The Big Town!

#17 Nov 17, 2009
Ignorance is Intolerable wrote:
<quoted text>
I take that as until we both die, and then will again meet in heaven. I'm not being totally serious, but I think at least a good 15 year waiting period is in order.
It only takes one person to die before "Death due you part".

Level 1

Since: Oct 09

Location hidden

#18 Nov 17, 2009
FDG wrote:
<quoted text>
It only takes one person to die before "Death due you part".
I understand the literal meaning as I am not ignorant. I just don't see myself moving on if something were to ever happen to my husband. We have been together for a very long time, and the devastation would last until I die I am sure. i.e. I would be too devastated to move on. This is my personal response
basket

United States

#19 Nov 17, 2009
at least til after the funeral, and all company has left.
BGP

Charlottesville, VA

#20 Nov 17, 2009
dogg wrote:
(ONLY YOU WILL KNOW) there is no poll that can answer that.In your heart and mind.(only you will know)feeling for y
ou (DOGG)
I like the person up above the spouse is gone and its entirely up to you-you don't know how you feel until you been through it if you wait 10 yrs. people ar going to critize you anyway so do what you feel in your heart!!!!!!!!!!

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