nathan sturley

Ramsgate, UK

#258 Jul 4, 2014
have to quit drugs soon to go travelling. can't get them through customs see. bloody hasals. customs are strict like that as I found out once.
I set myself the target of been able to be free by working so hard for a few years.
nearly finished now.
just a few more weeks.
passive income for life.
nathan sturley

Ramsgate, UK

#259 Jul 4, 2014
in some ways the police hassals helped me because i need a bee in my bonet to keep me angry enough to get up and work, hard to motivate yourself at times.
have to quit drugs now to get through american customs in october.
nathan sturley

Ramsgate, UK

#260 Jul 4, 2014
maybe i am just a misery guts but tennis is sh*t to watch,
wimbledon is rubbish. Football is the sport man, world cup football is the sport and boxing not tennis,
I aint going wimbledon again.
nathan sturley

Ramsgate, UK

#261 Jul 4, 2014

funny thing how people can be happy with such different things, I was invited to a party in london all celebrity coke and stuff yet don't want to go rather stay in and read. it is through a friend I have known for years who is a dealer.
so i am boring.
thing is when I had a good job lots of money all my mates and me taking loads of beer and coke in my flat in london when I was younger I should have been happy but I was so deeply unhappy.
yet now I am happy just reading and writing.
this song was what I used to listen to back then while I was meant to be happy but wanted to run away and join a monastry or something.
yet now my old mates think I am a c**t for blocking them out yet I really can't live that way again I just can't face it.
i just can't live that way.
I am happiest reading a great book. I don't know why but they think I have blocked them out yet it is just I can't face that kind of life again.
it is like a phobia. Very hard to explain,
nathan sturley

Ramsgate, UK

#262 Jul 5, 2014

This girl I very occasionally see I can't explain it. You'd think with all the reading I do I could express myself better.
I just don't know how I must have thousands of people yet never have I ever instantly cared for a girl. It wasn't like man I want to bang her it was just great care. I don't understand it. And when I occasionally see her she looks at me like I was her new born baby. Some people use the word chemistry. But how is all these years all these jobs I have had all the women I have met yet never felt this type of real care. Surely by now I would have some experience of these emotions but the first time I saw her coming up the road I was overcome with caring feelings like she was hiding inside herself. And she looked absolutely petrified.
I called her Norma jean because she was so kindly pretty. But how is it all the thousands of women I have met yet I never felt such caring feelings. Like I wanted to make her feel happy and confident without scaring her.
There is absolutely nothing I wanted from her I just felt instantly caring and in all my life I never felt like that.
I have always been at odds with the world and fighting people and for some reason I simply can't explain with one look I saw this really kind girl who looked like she was inside but hiding and I felt I am gonna tell her that she needs to know she is very special and very pretty. But also for the first time without even thinking I just felt impelled to care for her.
What is that??????? How come I've done so many things met thousands of people but never ever have I ever felt such empathy and love.
And it wasn't me after something just instantly I felt sooooooooo much care but the poor girl looked terrified.
But last time I saw her she looked older and f****ing gorgeous like really extremely pretty and looked at me in a way I don't think any girl has ever looked at me before. I just can't explain it.
It has changed my whole philosophy to things.
I just can't explain I have no kids but my love life has always been a war zone yet feeling such care is new to me. She dyes her hair red and she is extraordinary pretty.
Old Alf says to me. All your life you have been fighting I wish you could find a girl because I have never ever once seen you happy.
I know I write shed loads of rubbish while my videos are been saved and uploaded but Alf is right not sex or lust but I have never been cared for by a girl who truly cares.
Anyway this is all very very strange emotions for me. It is like feeling like part of me feels real for the first time like I exist like my health matters and I just can't explain this.
nathan sturley

Ramsgate, UK

#263 Jul 7, 2014
excuse me have i spoke too soon my eyes have always followed you around room.....i holding on and waiting for the moment to find me.
nuff said
nathan sturley

Ramsgate, UK

#265 Jul 10, 2014

i actually had a dream of people playing in the dark just like the lyrics I dreamt it last night just like the lyrics i must have been thinking of it.

i while ago I sent eastenders a message asking to give patrick a good storyline and I like to think it helped this.
You can have an influence if you really make the effort.
love to all that is all.
nathan sturley

Ramsgate, UK

#266 Jul 10, 2014

i hope some day you will join us..........
nathan sturley

Ramsgate, UK

#267 Jul 12, 2014

read the lyrics and you can understand what I was trying to say a while back. she'll understand read the lyrics
nathan sturley

Ramsgate, UK

#268 Jul 13, 2014

i think i am an empath. many traits fit me. lots of them at the festival I hope.
nathan from festival

London, UK

#269 Aug 4, 2014
that festival was fantastic hippies everywhere.
hippies there hippies here hippies everywhere.
I will hook up with purple head around christmas time.
till then

purple head is a babe.
i've got soooo much to do till christmas teeth need fixing overall health finances and stuff I am at it now with a new vigour fresh plans.
see purple head then. not before. gotta sort my trash out.
nathan sturley

Manchester, UK

#270 Aug 8, 2014
See me and purple head don't carry out our affairs like trash in public.
We are intelligent and progressive.
Not tinkers fighting openly about money.
I cannot stand her and her family dragging my family name through the mud. My family wouldn't even speak to such scum.
But me and purple head we aint doing that.
We have refinement and dignity.
We may move to tonbridge or sevenoaks or somewhere if she wants to.
Do things the way things should be done.
That festival was great. I saw a hippie and he was the most hippie hippie anyone has ever seen. I saw so many good people with good intentions and PEOPLE WITH THEIR DOGS!!
Anyway, I now love purple head. Funny how chemistry works. I have to pull my boots up and start to fly right to impress her and make sure she is my girl. I have to make her my permanant bird. I really feel for her. And she came along at just the right time. She is definatley an empath.
I really like her. I like her clothes and her style and her positive open friendly manner and he smile she gives me.
I want to do some courses at the city lit in holborn this autumn. I just love studying. I love reading and learning and doing exams and stuff. I am a bookworm for sure.
I see me doing my autumn courses and meeting purple head after for a meal then home. I just can't decide where to live I really can't.
My fav time of year is autumn. I love halloween and bonfire night and the build up to christmas. my fav time of year. I am gonna do some courses maybe about literature at the city lit.
Where shall I live maybe blean. But in blean they only have 5 bedroom houses and no smaller places. I can't decide. But I know for absoluetly sure I WANT purple head. Just the right girl. I just know that. There is just a girl for every man out there. I really want her so I have to go about my business in such a way to make her want me as much.
nathan sturley

Canterbury, UK

#271 Aug 10, 2014

me meeting purple heads family!
nathan sturley

Canterbury, UK

#272 Aug 10, 2014
I need to give the right impression to purple head and her people not have them start thinking like I enjoy drugs or come across as cocky.
Anyway I was thinking like I often do of buying furniture and then spending all day moving it around the room deciding where to put it then discussing which outfit to wear to bluewater today to do some long long clothes shopping all (bloody) day then having a coffee with some friends and slating the boyfriend of whatever girl couldn't make it before settling down with a big pot of luxury yogaurt and watching either beeches or titanic ......again.
Then running a long hot bath with the new homeopathy herbs I bought in body shop to invigorate and excite and relax and soothe ( i wont know if I'm coming or going and I may listen to my favorite tunes on heart fm. I am sure they will play hero by hulio englasicies and I will survive and carelss wisper. Let's face it there has never been an hour that it hasn't played those songs.
That will be my day. Just so purple heads people understand.
nathan from festival

Canterbury, UK

#273 Aug 10, 2014
seriously though, there is something about that girl that really leaves me with admiration. She picked me and despite what I know everyone would have said. That means soooo much to me. To be chosen and for the girl to not listen to anyone. I can't tell you how much that means to me deep inside.
When I was talking crap on that website that was purely to get links to my sites. I was doing that on loads of sites. You don't need to now on fiverr people in india do it for you for just a few quid.
But I was also drinking loads then.
But there is something about that woman that leaves me full of pride and admiration. It is chemistry. I just adore her. For the first time I feel caring and protective and not like I am going into war and battle.
She picked me and that despite all the crap she didn't care. There is something about that to me deeply.
It is very hard for someone to get it unless they experience it themselves. Like you find a soulmate or someone who goes out to get you and you feel so honoured. And she was so nervous yet she still was keen on me. That is it.
nathan the green festival

Canterbury, UK

#274 Aug 11, 2014
What I really like about her is she was really frightened yet she still showed me she cared. I cared for her too so much but felt "I don't want to drag her down moaning and complaining but as time went on I started thinking about her more then noticed her in places and slowly I started thinking she cares about me too.
But now I feel I need to do things like whiten my teeth get a good house etc sort my trash out.
She was really frightened yet she still cared. I know this sounds very cocky but there are very very few people I respect and most of them I do respect like Alf are old and wise. I find the few people i respect have been old wise people and I don't respect most people but I respect her. She has something about her. A sort of something that I find extremely attractive. Like she is real lady. Like she decided okay I have heard bad things about him but he won't treat me bad I can assure you and that trust and confidence I admire and adore. Everyone would say to her pass kid but she was kind to me. Also I don't play around I prefer real love with one woman I just prefer real love it is much more fulfilling.
I passed her in the street a while back and she looked all concerned and her friends were been all giggly and she looked like "oh shut up, just ignore them. I look Ike I don't notice but I did.
nathan sturley

Canterbury, UK

#275 Aug 14, 2014
i am now concentrating on the simplest video ever it took my 20 seconds to make yet the search volume is huge on google.
it is on page 3 or 4.
just focus on that one now it will trump all the rest if i get it top of the pile.
it is also so simple just facts only 1 minute long.
work on that now may go camping on monday.
nathan sturley

Canterbury, UK

#276 Aug 15, 2014
I have finished writing my second self help book chicken soup for confidence a follow up to "feel the fear shit your pants what the hey"

I went to my brothers and he shouted "for f**ks sake nathan why you leave the sink full of dishes?" and I responded "ah shucks you know you are right I am very messy but you know I am also sometimes clean. I will try to be more tidy but please allow me to grow and learn and we can understand each other"
Then I went to the pub and got too drunk and the landlord shouted "get outta my boozer you are pissed" and I responded "you know you are right sometimes I can be a real pain but you know I am trying. If you cut me some slack I will make a real effort to be more socialble in the future"
He said £get the fawk outta my boozer geezer or i'll glass ya!
Purple head is such a babe. She will look after me and cook me nice dinners. I have moved on from been angry. I have a new bird and all is well because she doesn't cause me greif she is caring and clever and sensible,
nathan sturley

Canterbury, UK

#277 Aug 15, 2014

i know i go about it and drove my old mates in the 90's mad but I love kate bush.
I mean look at her clothes so feminine and beautiful.
How many women dress feminine and like this. You go down the town centre and all these boilers with tatoos like big fat cattle branded eating chips.
How many women have that beautiful feminine way and clothes that drive me mad with desire.
Look at her in her red clothes she looks so powerful because she is so feminine. The power she exudes feminine power. Thats how to do it she has me like putty in her hands.
Not like these boilers all tatooed and orange and common as muck.
See my point.
People knock kate middleton cept me she is beautiful and has such class that gives her power over men like me. that kind of power is the kind like a spell like a hold and a respect I feel.
nathan sturley

Canterbury, UK

#278 Aug 15, 2014
Funny thing everyone used to love blondie but I never fancied her or madonna. I just don't go for blondes at all. I know they are pretty artists but I just feel nothing for them. I love women who look dark haired like sussana reid or madeline stowe out of film twelve monkeys.
Thing is I have gone through a period of flux thinking about purple head getting my life in better shape looking at my finances and health and my usage of drugs etc. I am really working on it all getting my teeth whiter losing weight I weight only 15 stone now I lost two stone in a few weeks.
Thing is I hate to think she suffered thinking about me and felt I never cared because I did big time. Funny thing relationships very hard. One thing I do think is that other people can ruin things like jealous or money or family etc.
I really care about her. Because I go every day all days all year never meeting my match and she feels that. I just like a dog sensed it instantly but held back because she looked so frightened.
I really really feel for her. I love her feminine way her caring but most of all her way of sort of making everything seem okay. Like I said I require a strong woman because I am prone to negative thoughts, depression, lethargy and sloth. I need a woman who has that edge to take me in hand. don't get me wrong I am not always like that but when I am I need a strong kind woman to pull me up and cheer me up.
anyway people gossip but such is life. She knows I care about her and wouldn't hurt her. I never hurt anyone I care about I would rather hurt myself then cause them pain. I need that strong woman to get the best out of me.
anyway, if i caused her pain it was because I never knew my liking her was mutual. I held back so as not to frighten her. But I did feel differently about her. She has something I can'y explain but what I admire is she felt nervous but she still made moves for me. I feel so flattered. It is hard to explain but I feel so honoured. The fact she felt so frightened yet she still let me know. I can't explain it is just chemistry. It is harder for me because I NEVER EVER meet a girl I like anywhere. till her. I go my whole life all seeing boilers and bad attitude no real feminine charm till her. I just never see any woman I like till her. You can't blame me for been over the top. Just now sort my trash out and sort things.

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