Today I Saw

[Katia]

skinwalker wrote:

Katia, here is a line-up of the 10 most wanted Squirrels. I hope you can sort out which one attacked you..http://www.youtube.com/wa tch?v=yyBRRs5QJTY

I tried and tried, but I could not get to the 10 M.W. Squirrels. I'm heartbroken. All I was able to pull up were a bunch of photos of kids with weird nicknames, but no squirrels. I must see those squirrels, I MUST!! I didn't have a problem with the bazooka squirrel or Birdman, but I can't get to the 10 Most Wanted. This is very important to me,as you can imagine, as I think that that little hoodlum is in communication with the cooties, and my life isn't worth 10 cents if they all get together. Help me, S.W.

[Lobo Viejo]

Katia wrote:

<quoted text>
The COOTRON BOMB!!! That's fabulous. I never knew, but up until this situation arose, I never needed to know. You've done an immense service not only to me, but to the countless others, who have, hitherto, suffered in shame and silence at the filthy little hands of abonimable, scheming cooties. The Cootron Bomb should strike fear into each of their miniature hearts, and effectively put the Kibosh on any plans that they may have to divide up, and then conquer, our fair city. Hooray for the Cootron Bomb, and kudos to you for providing this invaluable information just when we need it the most!

Tomorrow I'll tell you about Al Qooda, the cooties terrorist group.

[Katia]

Lobo Viejo wrote:

<quoted text>
Tomorrow I'll tell you about Al Qooda, the cooties terrorist group.

Oooh, I can't hardly wait! That will be sooo scarey. I'm sleeping with a nightlight on, and I'm going to pull the covers all the way up over my head. I hope that there's no tap-tap-tapping on my window tonight like (I think) there is some nights. Because it might be Them. Once they've got your number, you're cooked.

[CallousOneToo]

Katia wrote:

<quoted text>
As for the long, purple thing, presumably an appendage, there are only a few things that it could be. I hope that it comes with a pouch or a pocket or something,'cause that ground is mighty cold, mighty cold.

Yeah... that's just nuts.

[elise in burque]

CallousOneToo wrote:

<quoted text>
Yeah... that's just nuts.

What...no shrinkage?

[skinwalker]

http://www.youtube.com/watch...

[Katia]

skinwalker wrote:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v =EFWeldHtJgI

S.W.: Thank you! I just watched the videos and they are my "Today I Saw" winners. The best was the squirrel and the snake, then the water skiing squirrel, then the drunk squirrel. I really like the Irish ditty, and that squirrel seemed to most resemble the one that attacked me, but to get from Ireland to Denver I wonder if she needed a passport or a visa, and that incident was certainly grounds for deportation, but the squirrel dashed away. I think that the snake and the squirrel were playing. I was able to relate all too well to the drunk squirrel, as I have fallen, while inebriated, out of several trees as well as once or twice tumbling down a hillside full of blackberry bushes, which were excruciatingly painful adventures. That was a long time ago, but I still run in circles just to keep from getting dizzy. Thank you so much! You rock.

[Katia]

P.S. When I picked up the newspaper this morning there was a small piece of paper with it. I could barely make out the writing, it was so small, but what I think it said was perhaps a little ominous, I'm not sure. It was scripted, "Cooteez rul 4 ever". Should I be alarmed?

[skinwalker]

Yes, the phone-call was ominously obscene and was probably one of those plastic "Cooties" with its back two legs missing ob·scen·i·ty (b-sn-t, b-)
n. pl. ob·scen·i·ties
1. The state or quality of being obscene.
2. Indecency, lewdness, or offensiveness in behavior, expression, or appearance.
3. Something, such as a word, act, or expression, that is indecent or lewd.
4. Something that is offensive or repulsive to the senses: "What had once been a gentle hill covered with lush grass turned into a brown obscenity of bare earth and smoke" (Tom Clancy).
Cooties have become bold, brash, bullish, and have started their offensive upon your home. Becareful, when you step outside that you don't step on one that is very damaged but still has a body and will attached itself to your shoe....at this time, over 75% of all dork cooties are in the NV....

[nmweatherman]

skinwalker wrote:

1. The state or quality of being obscene.
2. Indecency, lewdness, or offensiveness in behavior, expression, or appearance.
3. Something, such as a word, act, or expression, that is indecent or lewd.
4. Something that is offensive or repulsive to the senses: "What had once been a gentle hill covered with lush grass turned into a brown obscenity of bare earth and smoke" (Tom Clancy)...

5. Topix posters

[Katia]

skinwalker wrote:

Yes, the phone-call was ominously obscene and was probably one of those plastic "Cooties" with its back two legs missing ob·scen·i·ty (b-sn-t, b-)
n. pl. ob·scen·i·ties
1. The state or quality of being obscene.
2. Indecency, lewdness, or offensiveness in behavior, expression, or appearance.
3. Something, such as a word, act, or expression, that is indecent or lewd.
4. Something that is offensive or repulsive to the senses: "What had once been a gentle hill covered with lush grass turned into a brown obscenity of bare earth and smoke" (Tom Clancy).
Cooties have become bold, brash, bullish, and have started their offensive upon your home. Becareful, when you step outside that you don't step on one that is very damaged but still has a body and will attached itself to your shoe....at this time, over 75% of all dork cooties are in the NV....

Thank you for that valuable information. I hadn't gone so far as to think of them as obscene, Tom Clancy reference notwithstanding, but there is certainly the potential for them to become so. I believe that that would require the wearing, on their part, of minuscule raincoats and small small pants cut off at the knee held up by twine (I believe that's how, traditionally, these things start) and I'd better be ready for that. I don't know what they've got against me, all of a sudden. Can it be that they read these posts and are offended that I'm not especially anxious to be a cootie-carrier, or did they just pull my name out of an exceedingly small hat? Unless....and it's possible....they are IN TOUCH with that squirrel in Denver!?! This may be taking up the shape of a conspiracy. I'm all paranoid now, which is probably exactly what they want. It may soon be time to detonate that Cootron Bomb. And I was not aware that such a large amount of Cootie activity was coming from N.V. As usual, I'm a nervous wreck. However, thanks again for your support.

[Katia]

nmweatherman wrote:

<quoted text>
5. Topix posters

Hi, NMW: I just read your comment,#5, and I don't know what you mean, but I can tell you this--it was not I who put up those 3 judge it signs on it. If I'm mystified by your post, I'm hardly in a position to judge it. Perhaps you could explain your comment, but I warn you, if it's vicious or negative, it will look like you are friends with the Cooties, or maybe even ARE one. I hope not, because I've read other posts of yours, and you're pretty hip. What say you?

[Just left of right]

Katia wrote:

<quoted text>
Thank you for that valuable information. I hadn't gone so far as to think of them as obscene, Tom Clancy reference notwithstanding, but there is certainly the potential for them to become so. I believe that that would require the wearing, on their part, of minuscule raincoats and small small pants cut off at the knee held up by twine (I believe that's how, traditionally, these things start) and I'd better be ready for that. I don't know what they've got against me, all of a sudden. Can it be that they read these posts and are offended that I'm not especially anxious to be a cootie-carrier, or did they just pull my name out of an exceedingly small hat? Unless....and it's possible....they are IN TOUCH with that squirrel in Denver!?! This may be taking up the shape of a conspiracy. I'm all paranoid now, which is probably exactly what they want. It may soon be time to detonate that Cootron Bomb. And I was not aware that such a large amount of Cootie activity was coming from N.V. As usual, I'm a nervous wreck. However, thanks again for your support.

Hmmmm....I can't believe I'm going to say this but........you are very clever and entertaining. Perhaps I misjudged you!

[Katia]

Just left of right wrote:

<quoted text>
Hmmmm....I can't believe I'm going to say this but........you are very clever and entertaining. Perhaps I misjudged you!

Hi-Ho, JLOR! Nay, you did not misjudge me; you were accurate at the time because of what I was saying at the time. I've changed my evil ways. I'm out to bring some levity on to the forum, and I just love the way other people are willing to participate in this nonsense. It's all to make people laugh, and sometimes think. The stories like the guy with the dog treats, the horse on my corner and the guy with the little goat are true enough, so it's not all pure silliness, but the entertainment value when we digress is to be considered. That really did happen, when I was attacked by that squirrel in Denver and had to go to the E.R. and had holes in my lip. And my little mom, an invalid, was going to get a gun and go shoot the squirrel. So thank you so much for your kind comment, and I'm glad that you posted. By the way, have you heard any rumblings from either the Cootie or the squirrel camps? I need valid intel. And if you see anything that moves your heart, or makes you laugh or rejoice, this thread is your spot. Thanks again.

[Katia]

Lobo Viejo wrote:

<quoted text>
Tomorrow I'll tell you about Al Qooda, the cooties terrorist group.

I'm waiting, with a martoonie in hand,'cause I think I'm gonna need it, to learn more about Al Qooda.

[Lobo Viejo]

Katia wrote:

<quoted text>
I'm waiting, with a martoonie in hand,'cause I think I'm gonna need it, to learn more about Al Qooda.

I have been trying to decide just how much information I should release to this public forum as I do not want anyone to panic. But Al Qooda operatives have infiltrated the United States.

We know that they are responsible for a string of terrorist attacks where they place paper bags full of fresh dog poop on the front porches of people's homes, squirt lighter fluid on the bag, light it, and then ring the door bell. The resident of the home sees the burning bag and instinctually proceeds to stamp out the fire with their foot.

But they have also done things far worse than this.

[Katia]

Lobo Viejo wrote:

<quoted text>
I have been trying to decide just how much information I should release to this public forum as I do not want anyone to panic. But Al Qooda operatives have infiltrated the United States.
We know that they are responsible for a string of terrorist attacks where they place paper bags full of fresh dog poop on the front porches of people's homes, squirt lighter fluid on the bag, light it, and then ring the door bell. The resident of the home sees the burning bag and instinctually proceeds to stamp out the fire with their foot.
But they have also done things far worse than this.

Without giving too much away, because I know how risky to yourself these revelations are, can you say at this time the exact or approximate # of Cooties it takes to fill, transfer, douse and then light the bag? When they ring the doorbell, do they all run the same direction, or do they scatter? Are the dogs in on this? Good God, the ramifications are horrifying. Why, if this information falls into the wrong hands, or claws, or paws, it could mean total chaos, just for starters. I see what you're getting at. We have to watch out. We could be playing right into their tiny hands. Thanks for the intel. I know that everyone who reads this will treat it Top Secret and not tell the Cooties that we know.
What else have they done? Can you say at this time?

[Lobo Viejo]

Katia wrote:

<quoted text>
Without giving too much away, because I know how risky to yourself these revelations are, can you say at this time the exact or approximate # of Cooties it takes to fill, transfer, douse and then light the bag? When they ring the doorbell, do they all run the same direction, or do they scatter? Are the dogs in on this? Good God, the ramifications are horrifying. Why, if this information falls into the wrong hands, or claws, or paws, it could mean total chaos, just for starters. I see what you're getting at. We have to watch out. We could be playing right into their tiny hands. Thanks for the intel. I know that everyone who reads this will treat it Top Secret and not tell the Cooties that we know.
What else have they done? Can you say at this time?

Cooties, like ants, can carry many times their own body weight so it does not take many of them to carry out a burning-bag-of-poop terrorist attack. The cooties have shot video of many of these attacks, and these graphic and horrifying videos, with lots of closeups of the victim's shoes, are posted on the Al Qooda website.

We know that the Al Qooda are religious fanatics. Prior to each attack, the cooties offer prayers to their God, the Big Coohoona.

I hesitate to describe the next category of Al Qooda terrorist attack because it is so cruel. But, I guess you should know.

[Too much]

Katia wrote:

<quoted text>
Without giving too much away, because I know how risky to yourself these revelations are, can you say at this time the exact or approximate # of Cooties it takes to fill, transfer, douse and then light the bag? When they ring the doorbell, do they all run the same direction, or do they scatter? Are the dogs in on this? Good God, the ramifications are horrifying. Why, if this information falls into the wrong hands, or claws, or paws, it could mean total chaos, just for starters. I see what you're getting at. We have to watch out. We could be playing right into their tiny hands. Thanks for the intel. I know that everyone who reads this will treat it Top Secret and not tell the Cooties that we know.
What else have they done? Can you say at this time?

dumb cutesy COOTIE stuff. You are using it to try to cover up. You have bedbugs. You slipped up and told the truth, whiner.

Get rid of them. Are they listed in your disclosure to prospective buyers? Even if you exterminate, you have to list it, DON"T be a CROOK, as well as your other flawed sides. What are you asking for this house in the N. Valley? I bet a pretty penny. How would you like to buy a house and find it was infested? Do the right thing. FIX it, wimp. And be HONEST.

[Stop]

Lobo Viejo wrote:

<quoted text>
Cooties, like ants, can carry many times their own body weight so it does not take many of them to carry out a burning-bag-of-poop terrorist attack. The cooties have shot video of many of these attacks, and these graphic and horrifying videos, with lots of closeups of the victim's shoes, are posted on the Al Qooda website.
We know that the Al Qooda are religious fanatics. Prior to each attack, the cooties offer prayers to their God, the Big Coohoona.
I hesitate to describe the next category of Al Qooda terrorist attack because it is so cruel. But, I guess you should know.

humoring the wimp. She should get rid of her bedbugs.