Dean Sleen

West Palm Beach, FL

#1 May 4, 2013
Iím human. Iíll admit it right now; I am. And one of the things this means is that Iím subject to human cravings and desires and occasionally I like to have a drink. Itís not the biggest deal in the world but itís something that I shouldnít do. But then, there are a lot of things in life that I shouldnít do and I get tired of not doing them all.

And I was feeling weak and weary and tired of my own mind and my own troubles so I drank some gin. This is something that takes place in every restaurant, in every bar, in every pub, every day.

Of course, Iím not like those people. Iím a medicated bipolar. For me, drinking is more meaningful.
Neighbor

West Palm Beach, FL

#2 May 16, 2013
Sick, ugly , drunk , freak to start with she is a weird danger to herself and anyone who is near her. Patty should just kill herself and get it over with she is worthless and hated by all around her.
Dater

Palm Beach Gardens, FL

#3 Jun 4, 2013
Now a hater what a flat chested looser based on what i've seen! A real looser in my opinion too much to talk about just read the police reports. A real mess to our great state and town! Bill?/Patty it's me white Escolade!
Mike Neighbor

Palm Beach Gardens, FL

#4 Jun 4, 2013
alcoholics, like all persons with an addiction, will frequently lie. It's functional, that is, it works, to support their addictive behaviour which they are sure you, and others would disapprove of, and give them a hard time about, and/or try to stop them indulging in. They rationalize that their lying is okay/acceptable/necessary because you are so controlling or unreasonalbe about their right to drink/drug/gamble/work etc. Their sophisticated rationalizations and false justifications enable them generally to be excellent liars, hard to catch them in their lies, which for the friend/family member leaves them feeling even more distressed by the betrayal of their trust because they were "duped" by the addict, and feel stupid, pathetic etc possibly for the "crime" of simply having trusted someone they love and used to know. An addict may even gloat over his/her skill in being able to con you, and rationalize further, that it was okay because you were so stupid as to fall for it.
I agree with my prior responder to this question that the lying is a feature of the "addictive personality" and that the person addicted, once sober, may deeply regret his/her lying and feel shame, even want to make it up to their victim, which, for the victim can be very confusing and/or lead them to be very suspicious of their addict's sincerity (with good reason!). I love a book called "The Addictive Personality" I think by Craig Nakken for helping me understand the "dual personality". I suggest that you be vigilante and do not trust anything your addict says that is likely to give them access to money or circumstances that will enable her/him to engage in their addictive behaviour. For example: The Con: "I just need $20 to buy a new tire! How could you possibly not understand that! You are just a control freak!" Their goal here may be to manipulate you with shame for possibly being what he/she accuses you of, a "control freak", and to manipulate with supposed urgency,(must have new tire for safety reasons). Possible Solution? Don't buy into the put-down (, addicts usually blame and don't own their bad behaviour too. His/her addiction is in control and he/she is colluding with it) Offer to buy the tire yourself and it is likely they will come up with another urgent request for money which I would not supply.
Your other likely source of lies are explanations for behavours ie. absences, missing money and items pawned etc. I do not recommended accusations (it is just bad form to me) but I do recommend sharing your reasons for not believing them and doing covert research and if you can catch her or him in the lie definitely confront them with the facts/proof and use this evidence for why you cannot trust them the next time. There can be an element of truth in these lies so be careful here too.
Finally, my advise is to hate the addiction, the drugs or the alcohol, not the person under their control. Love sometimes has to be tough however ( another book by Dr. James Dobson). Once a person is addicted I think it is necessary to accept the reality, that they will lie, steal, disappear, let you down etc. and protect yourself from acute disappointment/shock by having these realistic expectations. I suggest by planning that you could be disappointed you will feel prepared vs. shocked and have a back up plan and thus experience less pain when he/she let's you down.
I hope these thoughts are helpful to you in your relationship.
Answer
No, just bad spellers.
Answer
An Alcoholic or an addict is under the influence of a drug and the entire focus of their day to day existence is spent aquiring the drug recovering from the ueage and then ensuring there is more of the drug to stabilize them to avoid detox symptoms it should also be noted that while the addict or alcoholic is under the influence of their drug the ability to decypher honesty from dishonesty is gravely impacted as a result of their useage
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