I need an honest answer!
atmywhitzend!!

United States

#1 Feb 28, 2013
Two young people who work different shifts. One on first. One on third. We have kids and busy schedules in between. What's a normal sex life for a couple in this position. I would say once or twice a week. My partner wants it every time they ask!! Which is everyday. What's a healthy compromise. Am I just wrong here?
okay

United States

#2 Feb 28, 2013
I'd say that you're right. If the responsibilities are equal, you could work to compromise. I don't know how to tell you to do that, sorry! Usually one partner will feel slighted. If there is mutual love and respect, it can be worked out. I feel for you especially if you're the one carrying the most responsibility. Best to ya!
more to it

Tucker, GA

#3 Feb 28, 2013
Ok, I think your situation has more to it than sex, I believe that with all of the work you two have been doing, along with children, you two are most likely lacking intimacy...between work and children there's probably very little, if any, personal time spent with just the two of you...with that being said, the sex he's desiring is most likely his best way to achieve the intimacy he feels is lacking...ok, now, as humans, we strongly desire intimacy, and with that being said, if what I've said so far is accurate, I can tell you with certainty, that for you two to remain strong and loving, what he asks almost must happen, unless you two can make an he or so a day dedicated to just you... sex isn't a bad thing and it pleases both sides usually... Even when one doesn't feel " in the mood", once foreplay begins, the mood will come naturally... sex on a regular basis will strengthen couples.... If love is your two's reason to function, this will keep things going in a positive direction, probably not what you were truly expecting but hope this helps!:)
mee

Nicholasville, KY

#4 Mar 1, 2013
I agree with the person above. Intimacy is about more than sex. You need to find a way to make more quality time with your other. If they are already so sexually frustrated that they are wanting sex every day, then it is a big problem. Most of the time cheating comes when a person feels like they are being ignored at home. A person should never feel forced to have sex when they don't want to, but two happy people who love each other should want to have sex often. It keeps your relationship happy and brings you closer. Also you cant set a schedule for it. There are times were you should do it more than others. I can honestly see how your other is upset about it. If I told my husband that we could only have sex once or twice a week, we would fight to. I'm not trying to be mean but it sounds like you are being a little selfish in deciding how often it is going to happen. If you love your partner you should want to see to their needs. When sex becomes a chore in your relationship its time to do something about it. If not the ill feelings will fester until they destroy the relationship. I suggest you flirt your ass off! I have been married for 10 years now and I think we flirt more now than we did when we are dating. It keeps things fun. We have a very healthy sex life and we do it sometimes 4-5 times a week,that's just an average though. Some weeks it may be more and some less. It is about mutual need, for both partners. I do suggest you do something soon though. I have seen many relationships fall apart over lack of sex. Good luck to you I hope you figure it all out.
jessamine

United States

#5 Mar 1, 2013
It doesn't matter how much you give it to em they still want it everyday. It can be tiring. I feel your pain.
saying it straight

Lexington, KY

#6 Mar 1, 2013
Just say NO!
lmao

Thorntown, IN

#7 Mar 1, 2013
I get it three times a day and Im not that young,
Interesting

Whitewater, WI

#8 Mar 11, 2013
LMAO so give in hey as a female I like to be with my husband as often as I can even if is just a quick bend me over deal it feels a need for both of us it doesn't have to be a marathon every time. Whats 5 mins sad as it sounds 5 mins is 5 mins its a little longer than a commercial break. It's an important 5 mins for both of you.
hey

Clarksville, IN

#9 Mar 12, 2013
Interesting wrote:
LMAO so give in hey as a female I like to be with my husband as often as I can even if is just a quick bend me over deal it feels a need for both of us it doesn't have to be a marathon every time. Whats 5 mins sad as it sounds 5 mins is 5 mins its a little longer than a commercial break. It's an important 5 mins for both of you.
Marry me lol :)
lol

Lexington, KY

#10 Mar 13, 2013
As a female, I think we should have quality time once in a while but if it's hard to come by then a quickie is sufficient at my house. If the quickie doesn't do it for me then, then hi oh silver bullet for me! lol As far as your situation, I would say 2 or 3 times a week. But you're young. When I was young it was everyday or every other day, the more I got the more I wanted. But they say a guy thinks of sex more than a woman. When there's a woody we have to do something with it....
atmywhitzend!

United States

#11 Mar 13, 2013
You guys are not helping me any. I guess no one sees my side. Judging by all your comments maybe I need to see a doctor. I just could care less about it. I want it maybe once a week and that's it. The rest is a chore for me. I'm tired and busy and our schedules are different. And when I feel like I have to then I don't want to. I think it's unnatural to "schedule" sex. But I guess it's just me. I must be the problem.
lol

Clarksville, IN

#12 Mar 13, 2013
[QUOTE who="atmywhitzend!"] You guys are not helping me any. I guess no one sees my side. Judging by all your comments maybe I need to see a doctor. I just could care less about it. I want it maybe once a week and that's it. The rest is a chore for me. I'm tired and busy and our schedules are different. And when I feel like I have to then I don't want to. I think it's unnatural to "schedule" sex. But I guess it's just me. I must be the problem.[/QUOTE]
Yes u are weird if u don't like or want to enjoy sex. If u are that tired and busy for even sex then u need to change ur life
Understanding

Nicholasville, KY

#13 Mar 13, 2013
Hey, I understand where you're coming from!!! We as woman have so many responsibilities and when we get home at night and finally get to sit down, sex is the LAST thing on my mind!! I'm in my mid 30's and I could care less if my husband and I have sex once a week or not...hell, I don't think we've had sex in a few months... I'm lucky and my husband doesn't fuss about not getting it regularly...(And no he's not getting it anywhere else...we spend a lot of time together so I know where he is most of the time..) I have noticed that when we spend less time together,(like during the summer) our want for sex is greater. But like now, during the winter months when we spend a lot of time together, we don't have sex regularly.
No one can tell you what is the right amount of sex for you and your man, but if you have no want for it at all, then yes maybe you should consult a doctor. Are you on any meds? Sometime certain meds can decrease your sex drive. Could you all do a 'date night' once a week to just be with each other? No kids or work, just the 2 of you.. I know I'm not very helpful, good luck!!!
Debbie

Lexington, KY

#14 Mar 14, 2013
When i started my anti-depressants it made my sex drive drop WAY down. Lucky for me my husband understood and was great about it. If you are on meds talk to your doctor. If you're not on meds, it could be a lack of a certain hormone. Or even a thyroid problem. There's help for you,you just have to find it and you should start with talking to your doctor.Good Luck to you.

Tell me when this thread is updated:

Subscribe Now Add to my Tracker

Add your comments below

Characters left: 4000

Please note by submitting this form you acknowledge that you have read the Terms of Service and the comment you are posting is in compliance with such terms. Be polite. Inappropriate posts may be removed by the moderator. Send us your feedback.

Nicholasville Discussions

Title Updated Last By Comments
The pill Queen 2 min yep 14
Mandi on backpage 2 hr Omgoodness 2
Brooke "Danielle" Smallwood 6 hr Byron 4
Tiffanie silvers and Robert is a queery 8 hr Lindsay 6
Haley Purdue an Marcus 10 hr Ashley 3
nba 10 hr Jus sayin 2
New Jessamine County Mugshots (Jun '13) 17 hr Sadi 5
More from around the web

Personal Finance

Nicholasville Mortgages