Parents Who Coach Their Kids!!!!

Parents Who Coach Their Kids!!!!

Posted in the Newport Forum

First Prev
of 2
Next Last
janice

Morristown, TN

#1 Sep 15, 2010
I dont think that parents should be allowed to coach their kids. You see all these control freaks out here trying to coach every team their kids is on? I understand helping because their child is on the team, but parents who coach or either too hard on them or show favoritism to them!!!!!!
Myopinion

Chino, CA

#3 Sep 16, 2010
This has been going on for a very long time and it always will. All you can do is hope the coach doesn't play favorites too bad, and if he does put your kid on another team. No one will push and be harder on their kid than a parent with a competitive nature. Some kids respond to it, some doesn't.
freshgirl

Morristown, TN

#4 Sep 16, 2010
IT should be a rule that you cant coach if your child is on that team. There are great coaches like Jason Holt who will coach even if his child isnt on a team. He was my softball coach and he is the best! He is fair and doesnt play favorites.
Myopinion

United States

#5 Sep 16, 2010
Then I probably know you. Mine plays for the Lunachix.lol
sometimes

Morristown, TN

#6 Sep 18, 2010
freshgirl wrote:
IT should be a rule that you cant coach if your child is on that team. There are great coaches like Jason Holt who will coach even if his child isnt on a team. He was my softball coach and he is the best! He is fair and doesnt play favorites.
Sometimes they don't have a choice but to coach.
well hi

New Market, TN

#7 Sep 20, 2010
my father always coached my basketball teams..all the way through middle school. he was always more than fair. there was never any special treatment, if anything he was always always 10 times harder on me than anyone else. it is a great time for parents to bond with their kids and i will always have those special memories of my dad that some kids never get the chance to make. i consider myself very lucky to have a dad who was involved enough to be my coach.there is nothing wrong with parents who coach their kids...it just has to be done th right way, with fairness.
francis

United States

#8 Sep 20, 2010
well hi wrote:
my father always coached my basketball teams..all the way through middle school. he was always more than fair. there was never any special treatment, if anything he was always always 10 times harder on me than anyone else. it is a great time for parents to bond with their kids and i will always have those special memories of my dad that some kids never get the chance to make. i consider myself very lucky to have a dad who was involved enough to be my coach.there is nothing wrong with parents who coach their kids...it just has to be done th right way, with fairness.
Then your dad is one of a kind. Because ususally it is that parents show favoritism. And this should not be allowed. Parents didnt even stay t practice when we were little. They should not coach their kids. THey try to make their child a star and when the kid gets in high school they fall. ANd no one can stand when those same parents try to butter up the high school coaches. But the high school coachs will not allow or put up with it. THey have to learn to let their kids have some independence too. Many times it is about control. THey are hurting their kid more than helping. Not every case, but most.
kerrie

Morristown, TN

#9 Sep 20, 2010
we choose 2 coach our own children!we get 2 spend time with them!we never show favortism 2 our own!!!maybe we coach bc we dont want them playing 4 a coach we dont approve of.we love it!jason even coaches football at the park and he doesnt even have a child playin. he just enjoys coaching!!!
freshgirl

Morristown, TN

#10 Sep 20, 2010
kerrie wrote:
we choose 2 coach our own children!we get 2 spend time with them!we never show favortism 2 our own!!!maybe we coach bc we dont want them playing 4 a coach we dont approve of.we love it!jason even coaches football at the park and he doesnt even have a child playin. he just enjoys coaching!!!
And you are right cause Jason is a great coach and will coach even if his child isnt playing. He is definately an exception to the rule! I commend you both, but most of the time parents are not fair like he is.
Whooooaaaa

Maryville, TN

#11 Sep 20, 2010
francis wrote:
<quoted text>
Then your dad is one of a kind. Because ususally it is that parents show favoritism. And this should not be allowed. Parents didnt even stay t practice when we were little. They should not coach their kids. THey try to make their child a star and when the kid gets in high school they fall. ANd no one can stand when those same parents try to butter up the high school coaches. But the high school coachs will not allow or put up with it. THey have to learn to let their kids have some independence too. Many times it is about control. THey are hurting their kid more than helping. Not every case, but most.
you are more like one of a kind. ask anout any kid who played for a parent and they will tell you that they were always harder on them than nayone else. most people like yourself are just jealous that your kid isn't as good as the coaches kid. usually because while your kid id sippin mountain dew eatin cheetos and playin playstation all summer the coaches kid is runnin, shootin hoops throwin a ball or whatever it takes to get better at their sport.
well hi

New Market, TN

#12 Sep 20, 2010
i'm going to have to agree with you, Whooooaaaa. You cant attach a bad name to all kids who are coached by their parents or the parents that coach them. Not every one is bad. when i wsa coached by my dad, the best players always played...everything was done very fairly, believe it or not. i was always always always practicing and i loved every minute of it. I was not spoiled nor favored but i was one of the stars only bc i was pushed to be the best i could be. i never failed in high school sports and my parents NEVER kissed butt...they have more pride than that and i was tauhgt to have more pride than that. even with my dad as the coach, if i had sucked, i would have sat the bench bc he wanted to win just as much as i did.
danielleb

College Station, TX

#13 Oct 19, 2010
My mother was my high school volleyball coach and it was one of the best experiences ive been through. She never showed favoritism and my teammates didnt see me as being greater than they were. I think it depends on the type of parent that should decide if they should coach or not. Yeah they will have a hard time with other parents hating on them, but its a sacrifice they make. So if its the right kind of parent coaching, then they should have every right to coach their own kid!
YO HOCKEY MOMMA

Central Islip, NY

#14 Jan 8, 2011
I believe when parents volunteer to coach their children when they are younger, it is with excitement and with every good intention. However, once the teen years arrive and things start to get more competitive it has been my experience (after experience) that these father's lose sight of why they should be coaching--for the good of a team, not just for their own child. I know several boys that have not been to a legit. tryout ever. And why? Because their fathers have put themselves in a coaching or asst. coach position. This year there are four coaches on my son's bench.(and yes, it looks ridiculous!) Those kids made the team before the tryout even took place!! If this was a legit tryout, the head coach's son definitely would not have made the team and a couple of the asst. coach's kids wouldn't have either. I have seen "dad" coaches who are so concerned with their kids stats that they will "reel in" a kid that may be doing better than their own by sitting them and putting their own kid out on the rink. With coaching comes control: they can control their kids playing time and control someone that may be doing too well. We all know kids that have not been coached by anyone other than their fathers, and they are the only ones that benefit. This is not to say I haven't met anyone who can separate their role as dad and their role as coach. I know there are fathers out there somewhere that can coach without favoritism to their own child, but they are rare. The solution: Fathers should not coach a team if their own child is on that team. I also don't want to hear that they unselfishly devote their time--b.s.!! They do it for their own child's benefit and not anyone else's. It is really unfair to the boys that deserve the playing time to lose out to the coach's kids that may not be deserving. I have paid way too much money this season to see this guy's kid reap the benefits while the team morale is down--the boys are unhappy and the parents are unhappy too. To make matters worse, he never gives encouraging words to the kids--he only brings up the negative but doesn't have a solution or tries to work on these things in practice. He will tell the kids they played lazy, but this is a coach whose coaching is lazy--he doesn't inspire, he cannot adapt to changes during the game--he "rolls" the lines. There is no power play unit, no penalty kill unit, no break out plays--nothing! He just rolls the lines, but somehow, his son ends up on the rink during opportunistic times during the game. My son has learned nothing from this "coach". Basically it's been a waste of time and money for me and the other parents and for these boys. This is AAA hockey no less!! You can't just "roll" lines and hope for the best. I believe everyone has something to offer to a team. The point is, a good coach should be able to recognize these talents and put them to use.
YO HOCKEY MOMMA

Central Islip, NY

#15 Jan 12, 2011
Excuse my above tantrum! After a frustrating weekend tournament, a long drive and another $1000 later, I really needed to get that off my chest!! This is my third child (he's 13) I am experiencing this with. I had the same experiences with my two older sons with fathers that coach their kids in other sports as well--it's not only hockey, we've had this in soccer, baseball, basketball... All I have to say is that I'm glad my youngest child is a girl that does not play sports and loves dance (and her instructor does not have her own child in the class!!)
Jim

Franklin, MA

#16 Apr 15, 2011
YO HOCKEY MOMMA wrote:
I believe when parents volunteer to coach their children when they are younger, it is with excitement and with every good intention. However, once the teen years arrive and things start to get more competitive it has been my experience (after experience) that these father's lose sight of why they should be coaching--for the good of a team, not just for their own child. I know several boys that have not been to a legit. tryout ever. And why? Because their fathers have put themselves in a coaching or asst. coach position. This year there are four coaches on my son's bench.(and yes, it looks ridiculous!) Those kids made the team before the tryout even took place!! If this was a legit tryout, the head coach's son definitely would not have made the team and a couple of the asst. coach's kids wouldn't have either. I have seen "dad" coaches who are so concerned with their kids stats that they will "reel in" a kid that may be doing better than their own by sitting them and putting their own kid out on the rink. With coaching comes control: they can control their kids playing time and control someone that may be doing too well. We all know kids that have not been coached by anyone other than their fathers, and they are the only ones that benefit. This is not to say I haven't met anyone who can separate their role as dad and their role as coach. I know there are fathers out there somewhere that can coach without favoritism to their own child, but they are rare. The solution: Fathers should not coach a team if their own child is on that team. I also don't want to hear that they unselfishly devote their time--b.s.!! They do it for their own child's benefit and not anyone else's. It is really unfair to the boys that deserve the playing time to lose out to the coach's kids that may not be deserving. I have paid way too much money this season to see this guy's kid reap the benefits while the team morale is down--the boys are unhappy and the parents are unhappy too. To make matters worse, he never gives encouraging words to the kids--he only brings up the negative but doesn't have a solution or tries to work on these things in practice. He will tell the kids they played lazy, but this is a coach whose coaching is lazy--he doesn't inspire, he cannot adapt to changes during the game--he "rolls" the lines. There is no power play unit, no penalty kill unit, no break out plays--nothing! He just rolls the lines, but somehow, his son ends up on the rink during opportunistic times during the game. My son has learned nothing from this "coach". Basically it's been a waste of time and money for me and the other parents and for these boys. This is AAA hockey no less!! You can't just "roll" lines and hope for the best. I believe everyone has something to offer to a team. The point is, a good coach should be able to recognize these talents and put them to use.
I heard a similar story from my sister in law, and really didn't believe it. My son just had tryouts for Hockey after his first year. Coaches favoring their kids.( FACT )
Morals Anyone

Nashville, TN

#17 Apr 15, 2011
Hockey Momma is right on. Never had one play hockey, but had kids in other sports. It's the same with all of them. The little kids just want to have fun and the parent take all the fun out of. There is another kind of coach that you didn't bring up. The father who coaches his child at home and thinks he knows more than the real coach does. All he does is run the sidelines and shoot off his mouth about the coach, and drag everybody else's kid down because his is the star. He is living his dream through his kid or trying to get the kids college paid for. He usually burns his kid out and makes all the other kids hate his child. The team suffers, but he is not in the least interested in the team. No one is a team.
old crow

United States

#18 Oct 10, 2011
I have coached my own kids in baseball, basketball and football in the past years. I was always found the positon that each player benefited from and went from there. If another player was better at any spot then my own kids they played over my kid I had no problem putting my kids on the bench. My problem is watching a game and seeing coaches who are parents play their kids first regardless of skill and then also include their friends kids regardless of skill be out there for 90 percent of the game and the rest of the kids play very limited or not at all. I have seen this from 6 yr olds on up to 13. We all agree middle and high school is different but at the little kids league level it is grossly sickening.But if you bring it up to who is in charge of the league they ignore it or you are black balled out!
Sigh

Morristown, TN

#19 Oct 10, 2011
It isn't just with the younger kids. It goes on at CCHS, especially in basketball! I have seen way better talent wasted on the bench for someone without any at all playing when if they were at any other school they wouldn't have even made the team! It's sad, very sad! The girls team should have went to state a few years back with the talent they had! But, of course, the coach did not use the talent the way it should have been used!
Irritated mom

International Falls, MN

#20 Jan 8, 2012
old crow wrote:
I have coached my own kids in baseball, basketball and football in the past years. I was always found the positon that each player benefited from and went from there. If another player was better at any spot then my own kids they played over my kid I had no problem putting my kids on the bench. My problem is watching a game and seeing coaches who are parents play their kids first regardless of skill and then also include their friends kids regardless of skill be out there for 90 percent of the game and the rest of the kids play very limited or not at all. I have seen this from 6 yr olds on up to 13. We all agree middle and high school is different but at the little kids league level it is grossly sickening.But if you bring it up to who is in charge of the league they ignore it or you are black balled out!
I agree with this comment fully! My son plays basketball and is in 5th grade...the two coaches consistantly favor their boys and "friends" whether it is doing plays in practice or playing games and tournaments! And there are other kids on the team that are probably better then their own boys. It really isn't fair and they hold down the other kids because they don't get as much playing time or attention....and I think these two coaches in particular are trying to do just that. The two coaches that coach the grade ahead have boys in the sport too....but I don't see the same favoritism with them and their kids. My older son also had a coach when he was in the grade school level who had a son on the team and he was very fair and really a great coach with all the kids. I have seen this unfair favoritism with my younger sons coach in every sport his kid is in....basketball, football and baseball...it is very very frustrating!!! I don't think they should be allowed to coach if it is that way!!
sadly

United States

#21 Jan 10, 2012
I read what has been posted and I know from the past that your exactly right some things will never change. I think that some of these parents are living through their children what they didn't do growing up maybe they just could not afford it or they were just the ones that sat on the sidelines because they wasn't good enough to play what these parents don't realize that they are setting their on children up for disappointment because when they get with other children from other schools ( college, elementary, middle,high ) they will then realize that someone is better than them and they are then let down and if you wanted to be a coach then maybe you should go to college and get yourself a degree.

Tell me when this thread is updated:

Subscribe Now Add to my Tracker
First Prev
of 2
Next Last

Add your comments below

Characters left: 4000

Please note by submitting this form you acknowledge that you have read the Terms of Service and the comment you are posting is in compliance with such terms. Be polite. Inappropriate posts may be removed by the moderator. Send us your feedback.

Newport Discussions

Title Updated Last By Comments
bald guys 1 hr hairer 3
Cocke County 1 hr newporthater 1
New Sports Bar and Grill in Newport 1 hr John Taffer Bar R... 2
Heather stokely 2 hr courious 5
billy crowder 2 hr Seriously 9
Country getting in bad shape 6 hr Facts 12
Terry Pierce 7 hr Truth 1
More from around the web

Newport People Search

Addresses and phone numbers for FREE

Personal Finance

Newport Mortgages