What kind of mom is this?

What kind of mom is this?

Posted in the Newburgh Forum

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Advice Please

Evansville, IN

#1 Feb 18, 2013
I have a friend who has children but she carries herself as if she doesn't for the sake of fitting in with those, such as myself, who don't have children and to lasso potential suitors.

She leaves them alone at all or odd hours of the night so that she can attend social functions held at bars, nightclubs, etc with friends. At other times, she leaves them to visit one of her children's fathers for sex only to return home just in time to both ready for work and them for school. She even let out that one of her children's fathers had convinced her to join him and another woman in the bedroom upon having been "persuaded" to attend an event at a bar *ugh*.

Should either of her young children seek affection from her, she shoves them away or tells them, and I quote: "get off me".
I have expressed concern about the wellbeing of her children being left alone after hours several times to her but to no avail.

Sometimes, I wonder the following: if she cares at all about them, if she despises them in one way or another, if she is in regret of ever having them or is it a regret of having them by the men that she did.
hmmm

Tucker, GA

#2 Feb 18, 2013
Does she leave them alone with no one at home with them??? Because that would most DEFINITELY be horrible parenting and CHILD ENDANGERMENT!
Kim

Evansville, IN

#3 Feb 18, 2013
How old are the children?. I dont think she should be leaving them alone just so she can have her social life, surely that is illegal under a certain age?
What

Evansville, IN

#4 Feb 18, 2013
Call the State. They will come out and determine if she is a fit parent.

An open case will put a little pep in her step for sure!
SheAHorribleMom

Evansville, IN

#5 Feb 18, 2013
How old is she? It sounds like she regrets having kids because she wants to do what she wants but the kids didn't ask to be here. She should have thought of that before.

Secondly what happens if there is a fire or some other sort of emergency and she isn't home to help them. Is she even concerned about that?
Advice Please

Evansville, IN

#6 Feb 18, 2013
They are 10.
Advice Please

Evansville, IN

#7 Feb 18, 2013
SheAHorribleMom wrote:
How old is she? It sounds like she regrets having kids because she wants to do what she wants but the kids didn't ask to be here. She should have thought of that before.
Secondly what happens if there is a fire or some other sort of emergency and she isn't home to help them. Is she even concerned about that?
The mother is in her late 30s. The fire scenario is a good example.
wow

Evansville, IN

#8 Feb 18, 2013
oh wow. can you please talk to her FIRST, before you just up and call CPS? but then if you talk to her and you call, then she will know you called.

tough situation.
Ulrika Johnson

Evansville, IN

#9 Feb 18, 2013
No, she does not want those kids. Call CPS. Next thing you know your friend will be on the news because she either harmed them or they accidentally set the house on fire and got burned up. Why the hell did she have any kids in the first place if she didn't want them? Trying to keep a man or something?
Ulrika Johnson

Evansville, IN

#10 Feb 18, 2013
wow wrote:
oh wow. can you please talk to her FIRST, before you just up and call CPS? but then if you talk to her and you call, then she will know you called.
tough situation.
So what if she knows she called? I'd rather lose a ratchet ass friend than to see innocent children in danger.
Listen2Me

Evansville, IN

#11 Feb 18, 2013
Before you call CPS you and your friends need to talk to her. Maybe there is more to meet the eyes then what she is not letting you all know. DO you know if she close to her family like her mom or maybe a sister where you can go and talk to them and maybe you all can tag team her to talk.

Find out what is really going on in her life to why she want to leave the kids alone in the house like that. Once you have that talk with her and she not trying to change then call CPS. One day she going to leave those kids in the house there might be a fire or someone could break in and harm the kids.
Advice Please

Evansville, IN

#12 Feb 18, 2013
Listen2Me wrote:
Before you call CPS you and your friends need to talk to her. Maybe there is more to meet the eyes then what she is not letting you all know. DO you know if she close to her family like her mom or maybe a sister where you can go and talk to them and maybe you all can tag team her to talk.
Find out what is really going on in her life to why she want to leave the kids alone in the house like that. Once you have that talk with her and she not trying to change then call CPS. One day she going to leave those kids in the house there might be a fire or someone could break in and harm the kids.
I really don't think that she is trying to change at all. She does have two sisters and her mother is still around.
Concerned

Evansville, IN

#13 Feb 18, 2013
There is no excuse to leave kids that young home alone to meet men and go clubbing. If she was actually working at night then maybe I would feel a tinge of sympathy but this is crazy. She knew what her situation was before she had the kids. If you didn't have the means for one why have more?
I would call the kids school and tell their social worker and let them call cps or call cps anon. God forbid something happens to those kids. You will feel responsible, tell someone before its too late.
Pitch Blease

Evansville, IN

#14 Feb 18, 2013
I hope to God you aren't out partying with her while she leaves her kids home alone. If so you are just as guilty IMO. I would call her out, call CPS and bounce. No way in hell I could be out and about with a shitty mother who neglects her kids in favor of some male attention and cocktails. What if you are partying with her on the night her kids are harmed or killed????? The fact that you KNEW they were home alone makes you just as f&cked!!!!
proud momma

United States

#15 Feb 18, 2013
my older sister did the same thing wit her son didnt want nothin to do wit him my 70 year old aunt basically had to raise him the first year he was born she was always out nd when she was home she didnt wanna do nothin but sleep nd watch tv my aunt got up wit him in the middle of the nite its fuked up but some people just arent ready to grow up for a while but in her situation if she is leavin the kids alone wit noone there then ya somethin needs to b done nd cps needs to b called if u loose her as a friend its a whole lot better then haftin to loose those kids do to a accident that could have been avoided but if someone is there watchin them then u should probably talk to her first nd c wats goin on
Niecy

Evansville, IN

#16 Feb 18, 2013
Sounds to me like she's not ready to be a mother...can't really say she despises them...she might though. I'd hate to think that a mother flat out hates her children, maybe she feels having them has held her back.

Maybe she used the children to keep her man but it failed so she feels obligated. If I were you and knew she left them home alone I would call the police that night then let dcfacs/dcyf/CPA get involved. If you call the agency first it will be hard to prove what she is doing, but if the police catch her first they can report it.
Kay6588

Evansville, IN

#17 Feb 18, 2013
Unfortunately she won't and will not change. Personally I think parents that do things like this have severe mental issues.

Something will happen, whether now or later. Injury to the children now or teenage pregnancy or juvenile delinquency. Either one is tragic.

As one previous poster said, call the police when you know for a fact that she is out and let them handle it. I guarantee that she will loose her children. Trifling.

I had a friend some years ago that would do that, I called CPS and THEY gave me the 3rd degree, like I was trying to set her up or had a personal vendetta against her, hence my reason for reporting her!!! I vowed I would never ever call CPS again, and I didn't , that was about 20 years ago.
Advice Please

Evansville, IN

#18 Feb 18, 2013
Pitch Blease wrote:
I hope to God you aren't out partying with her while she leaves her kids home alone. If so you are just as guilty IMO. I would call her out, call CPS and bounce. No way in hell I could be out and about with a shitty mother who neglects her kids in favor of some male attention and cocktails. What if you are partying with her on the night her kids are harmed or killed????? The fact that you KNEW they were home alone makes you just as f&cked!!!!
I don't go out with her.
Advice Please

Evansville, IN

#19 Feb 18, 2013
I'm persuading her to have her mom or sisters keep her kids.
oh god

Florence, KY

#20 Feb 18, 2013
Im only 20 and id much rather stay home and watch Elmo and play with cars and blocks then go out..parents like that needs their children taken from them..not be given a talk...they shouldn't be given time to change!.they knew what they were getting into when they decided to keep the child!...

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