Does anyone know a good divorce attorney

[ComplEmentary]

itskim wrote:

Kudos to all of the posters who are happily married! Wouldn't it be nice it worked that way for everyone?
Marriage can be a wonderful thing - if it's healthy.
Responsibilities should be equally shared. If they're not and it bothers one of the spouses it can be unhealthy. Also if there is a third party in the marriage, whether it be a parent or "friend", and this bothers a spouse it can be unhealthy as well.
Divorces and marriages are two things that should never be rushed. I wouldn't condemn anyone for divorcing any more than I would condemn someone for staying in a loveless/unhappy marriage (there are plenty of those). Everyone has the right to make whatever life choices they feel necessary.
Good luck to the OP, I hope it works well for you and your family whatever path you choose.

Fine post but I disagree with the "responsibilities should be shared" bit. This is morning TV talk show fantasy.

Responsibilites should workm in a complEmentary fashion.

In our household, one spouse hates cleaning so the other does much of it. As well, one is not mechanical so the other who is handles those duties.

With regard to children, I helped them with reading/writing/spelling/histo ry/English while my wife did math and science with them.

One would go crazy sitting down and saying, "Hmm, your 50% is...."

Find what YOU are skilled and willing to do and agree to 'buck up' the other on his/her on the weak points.

Of course this is all predicated on knowing each other very, very well. There are surprises in marriages but they should be few and relatively insignificant.

[itskim]

ComplEmentary wrote:

<quoted text>
Fine post but I disagree with the "responsibilities should be shared" bit. This is morning TV talk show fantasy.
Responsibilites should workm in a complEmentary fashion.
In our household, one spouse hates cleaning so the other does much of it. As well, one is not mechanical so the other who is handles those duties.
With regard to children, I helped them with reading/writing/spelling/histo ry/English while my wife did math and science with them.
One would go crazy sitting down and saying, "Hmm, your 50% is...."
Find what YOU are skilled and willing to do and agree to 'buck up' the other on his/her on the weak points.
Of course this is all predicated on knowing each other very, very well. There are surprises in marriages but they should be few and relatively insignificant.

The wording is different, but the idea is the same. Shared equally relates more to comfort levels than "percentages". It's quite simple, if someone in the marriage feels that they are taking on more responsibilty than what they feel comfortable with then there is a problem. No calculator needed. If both people are comfortable with whatever "percentage" they do and this isn't an issue then there is no problem.

As you stated, using your strengths is important. It sounds like you and your wife work well together, and that is the key.

[Appalled]

ComplEmentary wrote:

<quoted text>
Fine post but I disagree with the "responsibilities should be shared" bit. This is morning TV talk show fantasy.
Responsibilites should workm in a complEmentary fashion.
In our household, one spouse hates cleaning so the other does much of it. As well, one is not mechanical so the other who is handles those duties.
With regard to children, I helped them with reading/writing/spelling/histo ry/English while my wife did math and science with them.
One would go crazy sitting down and saying, "Hmm, your 50% is...."
Find what YOU are skilled and willing to do and agree to 'buck up' the other on his/her on the weak points.
Of course this is all predicated on knowing each other very, very well. There are surprises in marriages but they should be few and relatively insignificant.

How did you get 50/50 split out of Kim's post? Sharing responsibilities does not mean 50/50 on each individual task, i.e. you wash the front of that shirt and I'll wash the back, or you take the diaper off and I will put one back on. That is an illogical conclusion.

Sharing responsibility is about jumping in and doing whatever needs to be done, no matter what your level of expertise. And while there are areas where one partner may be more suited than the other to do the task, a "that's your job" mentality is not good for the marriage either. With a stay-at-home spouse (like I was for many years) it is easier to handle the division but in today's climate of two income families, if something needs to be done, your spouse is counting on you to step up. That is shared responsibility.

[Equally]

Appalled wrote:

<quoted text>
How did you get 50/50 split out of Kim's post? Sharing responsibilities does not mean 50/50 on each individual task, i.e. you wash the front of that shirt and I'll wash the back, or you take the diaper off and I will put one back on. That is an illogical conclusion.
Sharing responsibility is about jumping in and doing whatever needs to be done, no matter what your level of expertise. And while there are areas where one partner may be more suited than the other to do the task, a "that's your job" mentality is not good for the marriage either. With a stay-at-home spouse (like I was for many years) it is easier to handle the division but in today's climate of two income families, if something needs to be done, your spouse is counting on you to step up. That is shared responsibility.

Did you see the word EQUALLY? Does that suggest 60-40, 80-20, or 99-1? Seems that it'd indicate 50-50.

EQUALLY. Not similar or congruent, but EQUAL.

[Appalled]

Equally wrote:

<quoted text>
Did you see the word EQUALLY? Does that suggest 60-40, 80-20, or 99-1? Seems that it'd indicate 50-50.
EQUALLY. Not similar or congruent, but EQUAL.

I understand equal just fine, B.O. It is you who didn't understand that equal meant equal total workload, not individual tasks. Just pointing out that comprehension problem of yours. Maybe your wife should have handled the reading too.

[giddy up]

Just use common sense.

[again]

Appalled wrote:

<quoted text>
I understand equal just fine, B.O. It is you who didn't understand that equal meant equal total workload, not individual tasks. Just pointing out that comprehension problem of yours. Maybe your wife should have handled the reading too.

Blow me.

[itskim]

Appalled wrote:

<quoted text>
.. equal meant equal total workload, not individual tasks.

Exactly.

[hold on]

Who knows what goes on behind closed doors? What works in one marriage, may not work in another. Bottom line if you don't like that person anymore DUMP HIM. PEOPLE CHANGE. If your fights come down to chores, it's OVER! You only have one life and it's too short to waste your time on someone you don't get along with. This is a no fault state. Each person will get their fair share.

[my favorite posts]

"blow me" and the perennial favorite,
"any jew lawyer will crush him."""

OMG!!! this is what is wrong with society.

how come clinton hasn't been blamed yet??

[Unincorporated]

I'll bet Clinton is behind this! The shlapper!