Little Johnny Joke
Scott Bliner

United States

#1 Nov 10, 2010
Little Johnnie's neighbor had a baby.
Unfortunately, the baby was born without ears.


When mother and new baby came home from
the hospital, Johnnie's family was invited

over to see the baby.

Before they left their house, Little
Johnnie's dad had a talk with him and explained that the baby had no ears.

His dad also told him that if he so much as mentioned anything about the baby's missing ears or even said the word ears, he would get the smacking of his life when they came back home.

Little Johnnie told his dad he understood completely.
When Johnnie looked in the crib he said,"What a beautiful baby."
The mother said,'Why, thank you, Johnnie.
Johnnie said,'He has beautiful little feet and beautiful little hands, a cute little nose and really beautiful eyes. Can he
see alright?'

'Yes', the mother replied,'we are so thankful;

the Doctor said he will have 20/20 vision.'

'That's great', said Little Johnnie,'coz he'd be fucked if he
needed glasses'.
hot stuff

United States

#2 Nov 13, 2010
my balls are sweaty
omg

United States

#3 Nov 13, 2010
why would someone post such a thing
jane

United States

#4 Nov 17, 2010
this is not funny
Sense Of Humor

Cathedral City, CA

#5 Nov 21, 2010
To Be 6 Again!

A man was sitting on the edge of the bed, watching his wife, who was

looking at herself in the mirror. Since her birthday was not far off he asked what she'd like to have for her birthday. I'd like to be six again, she replied, still looking in the mirror .

On the morning of her Birthday, he arose early, made her a nice big bowl of Lucky Charms, and then took her to Six Flags theme park. What a day! He put her on every ride in the park; the Death Slide, the Wall Fear, the Screaming Roller Coaster, everything there was.

Five hours later they staggered out of the theme park. Her head was
reeling and her stomach felt upside down. He then took her to a McDonald's where he ordered her a Happy Meal with extra fries and a chocolate shake.

Then it was off to a movie, popcorn, a soda pop, and her favorite candy, M&M's. What a fabulous adventure!

Finally she wobbled home with her husband and collapsed into bed exhausted.

He leaned over his wife with a big smile and lovingly asked,'Well Dear, what was it like being six again?'

Her eyes slowly opened and her expression suddenly changed.

'I meant my dress size, you f...ing retard!!!!'

The moral of the story: Even when a man is listening, he is gonna get it wrong.

SEND THIS TO ALL THE MEN & WOMEN WHO NEED A LAUGH
Sense Of Humor

Cathedral City, CA

#6 Nov 21, 2010
jane wrote:
this is not funny
What is not funny is the picture posted on this site for New City. That picture is distgusting of a person's rear end crack with filthy underpants and fecal matter in close proximity to the buttocks seperaton area. When I return home I wish to enter a picture of New City in the picture area of topix.
get a job

United States

#7 Nov 21, 2010
are you a stand up want to be
get a job

Malone, NY

#8 Nov 21, 2010
sorry left out comedian,and don't give up your day job
ok then

Malone, NY

#9 Nov 24, 2010
one bad joke after another
San Francisco Treat

Mill Valley, CA

#11 Aug 16, 2011
What do Rice-a-Roni and anal sex have in common?
They are both a San Francisco treat!
Wash Your Undies

Laguna Beach, CA

#13 Apr 29, 2012
Sense Of Humor wrote:
<quoted text>What is not funny is the picture posted on this site for New City. That picture is distgusting of a person's rear end crack with filthy underpants and fecal matter in close proximity to the buttocks seperaton area. When I return home I wish to enter a picture of New City in the picture area of topix.
I agree, that is a awful picture. Looks like a Wal Mart Employee

Tell me when this thread is updated:

Subscribe Now Add to my Tracker

Add your comments below

Characters left: 4000

Please note by submitting this form you acknowledge that you have read the Terms of Service and the comment you are posting is in compliance with such terms. Be polite. Inappropriate posts may be removed by the moderator. Send us your feedback.

New City Discussions

Title Updated Last By Comments
News VERPLANCK - A trailer park along the Hudson Riv... (Sep '06) Oct 15 Sadtosee 16
News Gregg Brie released without bail on charges of ... (Jul '08) Oct 15 Lgcollura 109
Reasonable Locksmithing (Dec '13) Sep 26 George 13
Review: Reasonable Locksmithing (Dec '10) Sep 26 Lee 22
News Rockland first in New York in child support enf... (Sep '07) Sep '17 brcnyc 36
Destinie Jupin Sep '17 giving free 2 goo... 2
Angie jupin in jail for drugs. Sep '17 She makes me sick 5

New City Jobs

More from around the web

Personal Finance

New City Mortgages