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Love Dad

Tyler, TX

#1 May 27, 2009
Wisconsin Fathers for Children and Families(WFCF) member and former director Mike O'Grady is apparently the first dad in Wisconsin to successfully bring a John Doe action against his former wife for intentionally withholding a child for more than 12 hours beyond the court-approved period of physical placement. Synthia Y. O'Grady-Klint has been charged 2 counts with violating of Sec. 948.31(1)(b) of the Wisconsin Statutes, a class F felony which could result in a fine of up to $25,000 or not more than 12 years imprisonment.

WFCF has been working with Mike to try and see that justice is done for a change. We accompanied him to meetings with Jane Kolhway, district attorney of Columbia county but she declined to prosecute the case. Mike then went back to court and got a special prosecutor appointed. We went to see him twice and he finally issued charges on 5-18-09.

On two separate occasions Mike came up to Coon Rapids Mn to pick up his kids for court ordered placement. Both times the BM refused to allow the children to go with their father. Mike filed a report with the Coon Rapids police and that help convince a special prosecutor in Wisconsin to file charges. The case will be tried in July in Columbia county WI where Mike resides.

Steve Blake
Wisconsin Fathers for Children and Families
www.wisconsnfathers .org
Pat Todd Jr

Shreveport, LA

#2 May 28, 2009
Love Dad wrote:
Wisconsin Fathers for Children and Families(WFCF) member and former director Mike O'Grady is apparently the first dad in Wisconsin to successfully bring a John Doe action against his former wife for intentionally withholding a child for more than 12 hours beyond the court-approved period of physical placement. Synthia Y. O'Grady-Klint has been charged 2 counts with violating of Sec. 948.31(1)(b) of the Wisconsin Statutes, a class F felony which could result in a fine of up to $25,000 or not more than 12 years imprisonment.
WFCF has been working with Mike to try and see that justice is done for a change. We accompanied him to meetings with Jane Kolhway, district attorney of Columbia county but she declined to prosecute the case. Mike then went back to court and got a special prosecutor appointed. We went to see him twice and he finally issued charges on 5-18-09.
On two separate occasions Mike came up to Coon Rapids Mn to pick up his kids for court ordered placement. Both times the BM refused to allow the children to go with their father. Mike filed a report with the Coon Rapids police and that help convince a special prosecutor in Wisconsin to file charges. The case will be tried in July in Columbia county WI where Mike resides.
Steve Blake
Wisconsin Fathers for Children and Families
www.wisconsnfathers .org
Good for this father. It is about time that the courts be forced to recognize that fathers have rights and that the children of broken families have rights to see both parents. For too long, some courts have sided with mom more times than not. Having finally seen my children after 5 years, I can really appreciate this.

This is not a man or woman issue. For every woman that has issues with visitation, there is a father, brothers and male family that is affected by laws on custody. For every man, there are grandmothers, mothers and sisters who see the other side of the issue.

In the end, the children are the most important factor and their best interests. Sadly, this is where the system fails.

For any parent who withholds children from the other parent based on false statements or plain hatred for the other parent, shame on you!

Remember that while you might not be dealt with by our laws, you WILL be dealt with by God at judgement. That is where I must put my faith with what has happened to me for the last 5 years.
Question

Schuylkill Haven, PA

#3 May 28, 2009
The 'father' of my son took me to court to get visitation after 4 years of having no contact with our child at all. We agreed on a set visitation and he only showed up to two of those.
Why is it that if I (the mother) withhold visitaion, I get in trouble but if the father just doesn't show up for the visit, or even call to say he's not coming, it's ok?
I cannot do anything about him not showing up for the visit but he can have me arrested if I don't. That is BS.
Love Dad

Tyler, TX

#4 May 29, 2009
Let me break it down for you. Fathers love their children too. And believe it or not, most fathers love their children just as much as the mother if not more. The problem is, there has been a tendency to give mother's custody while fathers are expected to pay agregious amounts of "child support" that often times they cannot even afford to pay while the mother sits her ass on welfare or whatever. And even if the mother works, the fact that the father has to support his self and often times his new family and household and the household of the mother as well is just plain fukked. Father's get labeled "dead beat dads" by the propaganda machine of the politicians making the laws so the general public doesn't have to support the children of broken homes. Simply enough, put yourself in the shoes of men/fathers that are denied visitation, custody, and a quality life with their children, yet expected to pay $$$$ to support their often times adulterous spouse that broke up the childs home in the first place. Whatever the case, however the marriage ended, put yourself in the father's shoes. We are not your FN workhorse. This issue is very simple. The government, state and local, makes money off the "child support" enforcement machinery. They, the local government, get money from the federal government, and persons paying the child support. It's an income redistribution progam that is based on a biased view that mothers are better care givers which is progressively changing and fundamentaly flawed.

Take my case for example, my son's mother murdered her first son when his father sued her for custody of her children and would have won because she was a crackhead. She was wanting to get back together with the father of her daughter which the second husband had adopted and raised for several years. So, she murdered his son; her own son. How did she get away with it you ask? The police and courts covered it up.Then, I come along several years later and marry the crazy, mean and malicious woman unsuspecting that she had any involvement in the boys murder. And what does she do? I find out that she's been having sex with her first cousin all her life and continues to do so while we are married. I file for divorce from her only to have her try to destroy my life and keep my son from me. And the court and it's father bashing apparatus only accomodates her. So I go back to her so that I can be there for my son. Then she starts a sexual relationship with a 15 year old boy and when I confront her about it, she tries to murder me by stabbing me. And when she doesn't succeed at that, she continues to try to use the system which is biased in her favor to have me jailed and destroy my life. What's more, after she stabbed me, the court gave her temporary custody of our son, put me out on the streets, and gave her all of our marital assets which I worked my ass off for. She even got much of the property that I owned before I even met her. She's entered my vehicle just recently and carved up my vehicle's interior, destroyed the exterior of another vehicle I own. And every time I am gainfully employed she tries to get me fired and keeps my son from me to cause me emotional anguish and financial hardship. Simply put, some women think they own the chidren and can kill them if it benefits them. So, perhaps the courts and politicians need to take a second look at who the better parents actually are, and give fathers at least an equal opportunity to be there for their children without trying to turn their lives upside down just to empty their pockets and fill their own. Bottom line, the system is fukked, the politicians and judges are corrupt. And if you try to keep my son from me, let me just say, it won't be my son that gets murdered.

Since: Jan 09

Saline Louisiana

#5 May 29, 2009
Amen to that Lovedad.
I have been in an ongoing battle with my daughters mother for the last four years. Thank
God that my Daughter is finally old enough to make her opinion known.
At the first part of this year I was denied my court ordered visitation for four months...the Bienville Paris District Attorney refused to help, even though she was clearly breaking this statute.....http://law.justia. com/louisiana/codes/146/78541. html, they told me they would use it to arrest me if I kept my daughter passed my alloted time though.
I actually used topix to shame her and her liven in to start communicating again, my daughter came back around and we are happier than ever.
Love Dad

Tyler, TX

#6 May 29, 2009
Highest court criticizes DYFS
Tuesday, April 7, 2009
BY MARY FUCHS
NorthJersey. com
STATE HOUSE BUREAU
In a unanimous decision today, New Jersey’s Supreme Court criticized the state Division of Youth and Family Services for ending an investigation of a woman who had “abused and neglected” her two children.

One night in March 2006, the daughter texted her father, saying that she was having an argument with her mother. From Florida, the ex-husband called New Jersey State Police, who came to the woman’s home and allegedly found her drunk. The daughter had scratches on her arm and had become sick after her mom grabbed her and choked her.
State Police Trooper Kelly Bene called the Division of Youth and Family Services and a case worker came to the home that night. Both children told her that their mother drank every day. The case worker temporarily moved the children to a neighbor’s home.
Through DYFS, the woman accepted substance abuse treatment and counseling, while the kids were temporarily sent to Florida, to live with their father. Eight months after DYFS got involved in the case, the trial court followed the agency’s recommendation and awarded permanent custody of the two kids to the father, in Florida.
A state appeals court previously ruled DYFS and the trial court had made a mistake because they had not weighed the evidence ­ and the woman’s progress ­ when deciding where it was safest for the children to live. Now a lower court will have to do that in deciding which parent will get custody.

Mary Fuchs is a reporter for The Star-Ledger. She may be reached at [email protected] com
In a unanimous decision today, New Jersey’s Supreme Court criticized the state Division of Youth and Family Services for ending an investigation of a woman who had “abused and neglected” her two children.
DYFS should have decided in court where the children could live, free from harm, instead of awarding custody to the woman’s ex-husband, said the justices.
“Rather than relying on the wishes of the children, the division should have focused on whether the children could be safely returned to the custody of the mother,” Justice John Wallace wrote for the court.

Am I missing something here? Is this court saying that an alcoholic, abusive woman is better for the children than a loving Father? Maybe there is more to this story but with the names withheld I can’t find any more info on this family.
Seems its the text-book case for a reversal of custody but the high court has thrown it out and the process has begun all over again. It seems to me the Child Protective Services did exactly what they were supposed to do in this case.
boohoo

AOL

#7 May 29, 2009
Have you ever stopped to think about how much responsibility you hold in this situation?

Why would you choose someone with so many obvious problems to be the Mother of your child? I'll take a wild guess that you didn't take the time to get to know this woman before you said "I do". And then you brought an innocent child into the situation, who is forced to bear the burden for BOTH of your irresponsible choices.

YOU should be ashamed also.

I hope that you are not allowing the anger you have toward this woman to poison your relationship with your child. Do not use him as a pawn to get revenge. Just love him and be there for him as much as you can.

Remember that you are not completely innocent in the sad situation your son is forced to deal with. So put the anger aside and focus on doing everything you can to make your son's life as happy and stress-free as you can.

I don't feel a lot of sympathy for Dad's who pay child support. When a child's life is broke into pieces by divorce, it's the least a caring parent can do. I am familiar with child support tables in this state and the amount you are responsible to pay for one child cannot possibly be as "agregious" an amount as you claim. And why start a "new" family while you're having trouble supporting your existing child? Child support enforcement is a huge burden to taxpayers also, not the other way around.

And I'm a little old fashioned in that respect as well...Father's have a responsibility to support the children they bring into the world. I hope you teach your child that good men take care of their responsibilities and stop complaining about it.

You should let go of the anger and look at your sitch as a a cautionary tale that helps you make better decisions in the future.

Look at your son as lifes greatest blessing, and cherish the time you have with him because that's all that really matters at this point.
Love Dad wrote:
Let me break it down for you. Fathers love their children too. And believe it or not, most fathers love their children just as much as the mother if not more. The problem is, there has been a tendency to give mother's custody while fathers are expected to pay agregious amounts of "child support" that often times they cannot even afford to pay while the mother sits her ass on welfare or whatever. And even if the mother works, the fact that the father has to support his self and often times his new family and household and the household of the mother as well is just plain fukked. Father's get labeled "dead beat dads" by the propaganda machine of the politicians making the laws so the general public doesn't have to support the children of broken homes. Whatever the case, however the marriage ended, put yourself in the father's shoes. We are not your FN workhorse. This issue is very simple. The government, state and local, makes money off the "child support" enforcement machinery. They, the local government, get money from the federal government, and persons paying the child support. It's an income redistribution progam that is based on a biased view that mothers are better care givers which is progressively changing and fundamentaly flawed.
Take my case for example, my son's mother murdered her first son when his father sued her for custody of her children and would have won because she was a crackhead.
Question

Schuylkill Haven, PA

#8 May 29, 2009
Love Dad wrote:
Let me break it down for you. Fathers love their children too. And believe it or not, most fathers love their children just as much as the mother if not more. The problem is, there has been a tendency to give mother's custody while fathers are expected to pay agregious amounts of "child support" that often times they cannot even afford to pay while the mother sits her ass on welfare or whatever. And even if the mother works, the fact that the father has to support his self and often times his new family and household and the household of the mother as well is just plain fukked. Father's get labeled "dead beat dads" by the propaganda machine of the politicians making the laws so the general public doesn't have to support the children of broken homes. Simply enough, put yourself in the shoes of men/fathers that are denied visitation, custody, and a quality life with their children, yet expected to pay $$$$ to support their often times adulterous spouse that broke up the childs home in the first place. Whatever the case, however the marriage ended, put yourself in the father's shoes. We are not your FN workhorse. This issue is very simple. The government, state and local, makes money off the "child support" enforcement machinery. They, the local government, get money from the federal government, and persons paying the child support. It's an income redistribution progam that is based on a biased view that mothers are better care givers which is progressively changing and fundamentaly flawed.
<br>
<br>
I know fathers love their children too. I have never kept the father away. From day one I tried to have him in the child's life. The father chose not to be there. And I refuse to force a relationship when it's obviously not wanted. The father of my child doesn't care about the child. He has said it. He just likes to hurt me by showing up once every year or year and a half and causing problems because I am happily married now to a man that takes care of my child.
He is ordered to pay a little over $100 a month. I don't think that amount is going to make or break him. But he doesn't pay it. He was single and had a good job but quit the job when the child support started coming out of his check. He has quit every job since as soon as the money starts being held out. I had a job as well and didn't make much of anything between paying a babysitter and gas to & from work. But I guess that doesn't matter. If I took the $ he pays (when he actually pays it) and put the same amount with it, my child would be dead. It is NOT enough to take care of a child.
The child support goes to rent/mortgage, electricity, water, food, clothes, ect., ect. Why should just the mother be responsible for all that? She didn't make the child herself.
I am very sorry for you and your situation. That is very fukked up and I would be pissed as well. I hope you get your son soon.
Please do not think ALL mothers are like your ex.
Love Dad

Tyler, TX

#9 May 29, 2009
boohoo wrote:
Have you ever stopped to think about how much responsibility you hold in this situation?
Why would you choose someone with so many obvious problems to be the Mother of your child? I'll take a wild guess that you didn't take the time to get to know this woman before you said "I do". And then you brought an innocent child into the situation, who is forced to bear the burden for BOTH of your irresponsible choices.
YOU should be ashamed also.
I hope that you are not allowing the anger you have toward this woman to poison your relationship with your child. Do not use him as a pawn to get revenge. Just love him and be there for him as much as you can.
Remember that you are not completely innocent in the sad situation your son is forced to deal with. So put the anger aside and focus on doing everything you can to make your son's life as happy and stress-free as you can.
I don't feel a lot of sympathy for Dad's who pay child support. When a child's life is broke into pieces by divorce, it's the least a caring parent can do. I am familiar with child support tables in this state and the amount you are responsible to pay for one child cannot possibly be as "agregious" an amount as you claim. And why start a "new" family while you're having trouble supporting your existing child? Child support enforcement is a huge burden to taxpayers also, not the other way around.
And I'm a little old fashioned in that respect as well...Father's have a responsibility to support the children they bring into the world. I hope you teach your child that good men take care of their responsibilities and stop complaining about it.
You should let go of the anger and look at your sitch as a a cautionary tale that helps you make better decisions in the future.
Look at your son as lifes greatest blessing, and cherish the time you have with him because that's all that really matters at this point.
<quoted text>
FYI, I don't have to pay child support. I am supposed to have shared custody of my son. Problem is that she keeps him from me. I'm not complaining, I'm stating the facts. And when people start coming with a "History Report" stamped on their forehead then unsuspecting partners won't find themselves with buyers remorse. There was no fine print either, just pathological lies that sounded plausible. And I do cherrish every moment with my son. That is why I am speaking out about the bias toward mothers and the abuse that they can bring upon a loving father just because the mother doesn't want them in the childs life. My ex has my son calling her now 17 year old live-in boyfriend dad and calling me by my first name. I have no shame and I'm not asking for your pitty. Your post really doesn't even qualify for a response because you are obviously ignorant to the reality of custody issues and the plight of most men in custody cases. I would suggest that before you go on the attack you gather more information in the future because your assumptions...well you know how it goes. But I do agree with you that my time with him is all that matters aside from the systemic abuse and hurdles that exist in achieving that.
Original Sports Guy

San Angelo, TX

#10 May 30, 2009
Love Dad...please disregard BOOHOO...ignorance is bliss and you can't change someone who believes they are the final word...I could go on but there's no point in having a battle of wits with someone so obviously unarmed as BooHoo.
boohoo

AOL

#11 May 30, 2009
Original Sports Guy wrote:
Love Dad...please disregard BOOHOO...ignorance is bliss and you can't change someone who believes they are the final word...I could go on but there's no point in having a battle of wits with someone so obviously unarmed as BooHoo.
When insults are your first line of defense, it probably means that you don't have enough confidance in your ability to have a meaningful discussion.

I was not trying to put Dad down, I was merely trying to point out the fact that HE is not the victim in that sad situation...his little boy is. Dad's ex sounds like she has some serious issues, but it was Dad's responsibility to find out if she was stable and capable of being a good mother to his children BEFORE he brought one into the world. He obvoiously failed in that respect, and his child is paying the price.

If his court ordered rights are being violated, he should pursue that legally, I hope he has. The claim he made that the enforcement of child support is simply a way for the state to make money off of poor innocent men, is simply false.
Original Sports Guy

San Angelo, TX

#12 May 30, 2009
boohoo wrote:
<quoted text>
When insults are your first line of defense, it probably means that you don't have enough confidance in your ability to have a meaningful discussion.
I was not trying to put Dad down, I was merely trying to point out the fact that HE is not the victim in that sad situation...his little boy is. Dad's ex sounds like she has some serious issues, but it was Dad's responsibility to find out if she was stable and capable of being a good mother to his children BEFORE he brought one into the world. He obvoiously failed in that respect, and his child is paying the price.
If his court ordered rights are being violated, he should pursue that legally, I hope he has. The claim he made that the enforcement of child support is simply a way for the state to make money off of poor innocent men, is simply false.
ummm, I don't think so, but nice try...you boldly told the man he should be ashamed of himself...how is that not putting him down? and to think that anyone can predict how a mother/father will react once a child is born is ludicrous and it is you that should be ashamed. You've judged someone you know nothing about and were very heartless to his situation. Have you not known someone who changed? It's called life and I harbor no ill-will toward you personally, just the fact that you came off really "high and mighty"...I appreciate and respect a lot of what you submitted and look forward to more of your posts.

Since: May 09

Location hidden

#13 May 30, 2009
As a wicked step-mother, let me add my 2 cents. My husbands ex fooled around on him & left him many times before he called it quits. Staying together for the kids was not worth it. After we married we had the 2 children more than she did, one of them practically fulltime, but we still paid her child support. Now I know that support money is for things such as keeping a roof over the kids head, utlities & food among other things. But this women neglected the kids when she DID have them & dressed them in rags while she dressed to the Nines. She also ran her mouth to them about what awful people their Dad & me were and told tham that their dad loved his new family more than he loved them...
Come on people...marriages don't always last...Thank You Sweet Jesus my first marriage did not produce children...sometimes 2 happy divorced parents are better than 2 miserable married ones. By the grace of God she was unsuccessful in turning the children away from their dad. Some people just want others to be as miserable as they are. The ex commited suicide a few years ago. It seems that going from man to man to man still did not make her happy.
boohoo

AOL

#14 May 30, 2009
Original Sports Guy wrote:
<quoted text>
and to think that anyone can predict how a mother/father will react once a child is born is ludicrous and it is you that should be ashamed.
In his original post Dad stated that his ex was a "crackhead" and had "murdered a previous child"...I would call these BIG red flags when making a judgement in the type of mother she might be to future children.

And if he did not take the time to find these things out before he brought a child into the world with this woman...then shame on him!

It's an age old problem, that seems to be becoming more and more frequent. Men and women rush into relationships without taking the time to find out WHO he other person really is. They bring children into the world who will never have the chance to experience a stable 2-parent household.

Parents should be held MORE responsible for the idiotic choices they make. And I guess that's my beef with Dad. His whiny victimhood just struck a nerve with me. I didn't mean to come across as "high and mighty". I'm just really tired of hearing parents complain about their own plight, when they're responsible for creating such a confusing life for their children.
Original Sports Guy

San Angelo, TX

#15 May 30, 2009
boohoo wrote:
<quoted text>
In his original post Dad stated that his ex was a "crackhead" and had "murdered a previous child"...I would call these BIG red flags when making a judgement in the type of mother she might be to future children.
And if he did not take the time to find these things out before he brought a child into the world with this woman...then shame on him!
It's an age old problem, that seems to be becoming more and more frequent. Men and women rush into relationships without taking the time to find out WHO he other person really is. They bring children into the world who will never have the chance to experience a stable 2-parent household.
Parents should be held MORE responsible for the idiotic choices they make. And I guess that's my beef with Dad. His whiny victimhood just struck a nerve with me. I didn't mean to come across as "high and mighty". I'm just really tired of hearing parents complain about their own plight, when they're responsible for creating such a confusing life for their children.
BooHoo - I OWE YOU A BIG APOLOGY! I TOTALLY missed the part about him knowing that his wife had been accused of MURDERING HER CHILD...GEEZ. I kinda have to say I agree that it should have been one of those "BIG RED FLAG" thingee's!

(that sound you hear is hell freezing over as I humbly slither back into my cave of shame).

pls accept my apologies, but its understood if you don't! I made this bed and shall now go lay in it. Crow will be waiting for me for breakfast.
Love Dad

Tyler, TX

#16 May 31, 2009
Folks, you're both missing the point to my posts. To clear things up, I didn't know that the ex had a previous history of crack use, and I didn't know when I married her that she had murdered her son. I learned about that after I filed for divorce from her and conducted extensive research into the boys murder.

The point to my post is that fathers are parents 2, just as the post is titled. And our (fathers) plight in custody cases is not yet where it needs to be. Men can be very nurturing and loving parents as well and fathers deserve an equal opportunity to parent their children. The courts need to recognize this and when a mother has a history of wacked out behavior, then judges need to protect the children from them. For a greater appreciation for the issues that I am interested in bringing to the publics attention and political agenda please see Dr. Stephen Baskerville's web content. He's an authority on the plight of men in divorce and custody issues. Call it whining or whatever you like. I'm standing firm on the reality of these issues and working to promote a more equitable plight for fathers and a more promising future for our children.
Love Dad

Tyler, TX

#17 Jun 2, 2009
Just wanted to invite some more debate and keep this topic on the public agenda. If there are anymore Boohoos out there, your welcome to post. And most certainly any man, woman or child that has been victimized by bias in custody cases and the court of law.
Good Dad

United States

#18 Jun 3, 2009
Sure are!
Love Dad

Tyler, TX

#19 Jun 3, 2009
I met with Judge Harrington today for the second time in the past three weeks to request that he issue a civil warant to force the ex to comply with our custody agreement that he himself signed as an order of the court. He refused both times. The first time, he suggested that I get an attorney. He said "that is what they do". I believe our constitution gives us the right to serve as our own counsel.

I then met with Danny Hall, the DA investigator, and requested that he charge the ex for failure to comply with the court order. He suggested that I file another rule for contempt and bring our case back into court. In other words, he is not going to charge her at this time.

The problem is that I have filed two (2) rules for contempt previously and proven my case by the civil standard of preponderance of the evidence. However, he has failed to hold the ex in contempt. So, she continues to do as she pleases because the court is not enforcing the court order. What is a parent to do?

I have filed a civil case against the ex for stabbing me last year since the sheriff's department failed to charge her after they insured me that they were going to. I will have no problem proving that she intended to stab me/murder me. I'll let you all know how it turns out in court.

For now, however, the ex is keeping my son from me in contempt of court. I'll be filing another rule for contempt by the end of next week if there is still no compliance from the ex.
Love Dad

Tyler, TX

#20 Jun 3, 2009
If any of you parents are having similar custody issues and you are not able to afford an attorney, let me know. I'm getting good at preparing the motions for contempt and other civil issues.

I've represented myself now in at least 4 court appearances. You may not be impressed with the recent resistance that I've faced, but there is strength in numbers.

Consider this: I paid a top notch attorney $500 for a 15 minute consultation at the onset of my custody case only to have her tell me that the courts are biased toward mothers.

We need to take OUR courts back over from the corrupt politicians (judges are politicians) and the greedy lawyers.

You have the right to serve as your own counsel.

For a nominal fee of $20 to $50 dollars I will get you back into court within a month or two of you contacting me. All you have to do is gather any evidence that you may have, and get any witnesses that can support your case to show up so you can win your case. I will even assist you with that for a nominal fee of $100.

Just ask yourself this: Isn't it worth $50-$150 vs. a $2,500 retainer that virtually every local attorney will charge you just to take your case?

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