Judged:
1
I suppose I can play devils advocate. I've cheated on my wife. Numerous times. She found out about one of them and it almost broke up our marriage. I've cheated with someone else since that happened.
So why do men cheat you wonder. Frankly, it doesn't have a thing to do with not being in love with my wife. I still love my wife very much and would be lost without her.
So why do I continue to cheat? On the surface I could say purely for the sex. But it's deeper than that. If you could ask any married man what he missed about being single and get an honest answer, most of the answers would be along the lines of they missed potentially having sex with hot random women.
Not that they would not like the sex itself, but the "chase" I guess you'd call it. Flirting, trying to see who they can sleep with, seeing how hot of a woman they can get. That sort of thing.
Think of it like you would a lion in the wild. When they're young, they chase antelope. They get captured and put in a zoo. While they're in a zoo, what do they dream of? Chasing antelope again.
Anyways why do we cheat? There's no one answer because everyone is different. For myself personally it was to know I could sleep with random hot women still I suppose; that I still "had it" so to speak. Does it make it right trying to justify it? Of course not. But it is what it is.
Let me let you ladies in on a secret. Men are stupid. I know you're thinking "we already know", but seriously, you have no idea. We do things that we think are fine at the time, but then afterwards we think why on earth did I do that.
Such is my situation now. As I've grown older, I realize that it's way too much work to have affairs. The hiding, chasing, etc is too exhausting, especially since I want to stay married. Now i look back and wish i never had done it to begin with, but the die is cast.
So my realization to (hopefully) stop cheating is as a result of laziness? As a guy, I can resoundingly say "Yup". Trust me, we don't like working any more than we absolutely have to at things.
Will he cheat again? Everyone's different. There is no yes or no answer. And how would "the truth" help anything? One thing I've never got is the whole "if you love/respect/etc the other person you'll tell them everything" argument. Why? I'm not being facetious here, but lets be realistic, everyone has their own personal secrets. If she's happy, you're happy, why even bring it up, when all it will do is destroy things? That makes 0 sense.
As far as your forthcoming "you shouldn't have cheated in the first place" argument, you're correct I shouldn't have. But what's done is done.
Your "you cannot care for her because you don't respect her" comment is invalid. First off, read my previous posts. Men are stupid. Respecting our spouses has nothing to do with our own stupidity. As for not caring about her? Please. If that were accurate, every time someone cheated in a relationship, that relationship would end right there, which simply isn't true.
As far as living a lie, everyone does to some extent. I'm assuming you're a woman? Do you wear makeup? When you go out, do you try to dress up to give off the appearance that you're prettier, more well off, from a higher social class than you truly are? Or have you ever done anything like that. Sorry to burst your bubble, but everyone wears masks to some extent to hide who they truly are.
vw
Scorpio