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1,641 - 1,660 of 2,631 Comments Last updated Friday
Jesse

United States

#1701 Mar 25, 2013
Hey guys you have a poster used to post under the username justaminute who is using other people's usernames to post liberal progressive b.s. She's been doing this on another thread then claims WMCOL or DustyOutlaw are the ones posting under other people's usernames.

Justaminute or justaliar as she has become known by those of us who have figured out what she was up to, doesn't care about anything but spreading liberal talking points and outright lies are her trademark.

Since she's totally unoriginal she'll probably post using my name some kind of stupid b.s. figured you guys would want to know what was going on.
Jesse

United States

#1702 Mar 25, 2013
fake Packing Heat wrote:
Oklahoma Governor Mary Fallin was in Boston Monday to deliver the keynote address at Harvard University's conference on education, workforce development, and Marketing.
Buzz word in today's business world is MARKETING
However, people often ask her for a simple explanation of "Marketing" and she practices it very well.
Well, here it is:
1.You're a woman and you see a handsome guy at a party. You go up to him and say, "I'm fantastic in bed."
That's Direct Marketing
2. You're at a party with a bunch of friends and see a handsome guy. One of your friends goes up to him and, pointing at you, says, "She's fantastic in bed."
That's Advertising.
3. You see a handsome guy at a party. You go up to him and get his telephone number. The next day you call and say, "Hi, I'm fantastic in bed."
That's Telemarketing.
4. You see a guy at a party; you straighten your dress. You walk up to him and pour him a drink. You say, "May I?" and reach up to straighten his tie, brushing your breast lightly against his arm, and then say, "By the way, I'm fantastic in bed."
That's Public Relations.
5. You're at a party and see a handsome guy. He walks up to you and says, "I hear you're fantastic in bed."
That's Brand Recognition.
6. You're at a party and see a handsome guy. He fancies you, but you talk him into going home with your friend.
That's a Sales Rep.
7. Your friend can't satisfy him so he calls you.
That's Tech Support.
justaminute aka justaliar stop posting under other people's usernames.
Zane

United States

#1704 Mar 25, 2013
The Pope and Governor Mary Fallin are on the same stage in front of a huge crowd.

'Her Majesty' and His Holiness, however, have seen it all before, so to make it a little more interesting, the Governor says to the Pope,'Did you know that with just one little wave of my hand I can make every Republican in the crowd go wild?'

He doubts it, so she shows him. Sure enough, the wave elicits rapture and cheering from every Republican in the crowd. Gradually, the cheering subsides.

The Pope, not wanting to be out done by such a level of arrogance, considers what he could do.

'That was impressive. But did you know that with just one little wave of MY hand I can make EVERY person in the crowd go crazy with joy? This joy will not be a momentary display like that of your subjects, but will go deep into their hearts, and they will forever speak of this day and rejoice.'

The Governor seriously doubts this, and says so.'One little wave of your hand and all people will rejoice forever? Show me.'

So the Pope slapped her
JAG

United States

#1705 Mar 25, 2013
The seven ugly repug igiots go to the Vatican, and because they are the seven ugly repug igiots, they are immediately ushered in to see the Pope. Packing Heat leads the pack.

"Packing Heat, my son," says the Pope, "What can I do for you?" Packing Heat asks, "Excuse me your Excellency, but are there any ugle repug igiot nuns in Rome?" The Pope wrinkles his brow at the odd question, thinks for a moment and answers, "No, Packing Heat, there are no ugly repug igiot nuns in Rome."

In the background, a few of the ugly repug igiots start giggling. Packing Heat turns around and glares, silencing them.

Packing Heat turns back, "Your Worship, are there any ugly repug igiot nuns in all of Europe?" The Pope, puzzled now, again thinks for a moment and then answers, "No, Packing Heat, there are no ugly repugs igiot nuns in Europe."

This time, all of the other ugly repug igiots burst into laughter. Once again, Packing Heat turns around and silences them with an angry glare.

Packing Heat turns back and says, "Mr. Pope, are there ANY ugly repug igiot nuns anywhere in the world?" The Pope, really confused by the questions says, "I'm sorry, my son, there are no ugly repug igiot nuns anywhere in the world."

The other ugly repug igiots collapse into a heap, rolling and laughing, pounding the floor, tears rolling down their cheeks, as they begin chanting.... " Packing Heat shagged a penguin! Packing Heat shagged a penguin! Packing Heat shagged a penguin!"
JAG

United States

#1706 Mar 25, 2013
FAKE JAG wrote:
The seven ugly repug igiots go to the Vatican, and because they are the seven ugly repug igiots, they are immediately ushered in to see the Pope. Packing Heat leads the pack.
"Packing Heat, my son," says the Pope, "What can I do for you?" Packing Heat asks, "Excuse me your Excellency, but are there any ugle repug igiot nuns in Rome?" The Pope wrinkles his brow at the odd question, thinks for a moment and answers, "No, Packing Heat, there are no ugly repug igiot nuns in Rome."
In the background, a few of the ugly repug igiots start giggling. Packing Heat turns around and glares, silencing them.
Packing Heat turns back, "Your Worship, are there any ugly repug igiot nuns in all of Europe?" The Pope, puzzled now, again thinks for a moment and then answers, "No, Packing Heat, there are no ugly repugs igiot nuns in Europe."
This time, all of the other ugly repug igiots burst into laughter. Once again, Packing Heat turns around and silences them with an angry glare.
Packing Heat turns back and says, "Mr. Pope, are there ANY ugly repug igiot nuns anywhere in the world?" The Pope, really confused by the questions says, "I'm sorry, my son, there are no ugly repug igiot nuns anywhere in the world."
The other ugly repug igiots collapse into a heap, rolling and laughing, pounding the floor, tears rolling down their cheeks, as they begin chanting.... " Packing Heat shagged a penguin! Packing Heat shagged a penguin! Packing Heat shagged a penguin!"
Dumb bitch stop posting in my name!
El Chapo

Austin, TX

#1707 Mar 25, 2013
>> Barack Obama was visiting a primary school in North Carolina and he visited a fourth grade class. They were in the middle of a discussion related to words and their meanings.
>>
>> The teacher asked the president if he would like to lead the discussion on the word 'tragedy.'
>>
>> So our illustrious president asked the class for an example of a 'tragedy.'
>>
>> One little boy stood up and offered: "If my best friend, who lives on a farm, is playing in the field and a tractor runs him over and kills him, that would be a tragedy."
>>
>> "No," said Obama, "that would be an accident."
>> A little girl raised her hand: "If a school bus carrying 50 children drove off a cliff, killing everyone, that would be a tragedy."
>>
>> "I'm afraid not," explained Obama. "That's what we would call great loss."
>>
>> The room went silent. No other child volunteered. Obama searched the room. "Isn't there someone here who can give me an example of a tragedy?"
>>
>> Finally at the back of the room, Little Johnny raised his hand.
>>
>> The teacher held her breath.
>>
>>
>> In a quiet voice he said: "If the plane carrying you and Mrs. Obama was struck by a 'friendly fire' missile and blown to smithereens that would be a tragedy."
>>
>> "Fantastic!" exclaimed Obama. "That's right. And can you tell me why that would be a tragedy?"
>>
>> "Well," says Johnny, "It has to be a tragedy, because it sure as hell wouldn't be a great loss... and you can bet your ass it wouldn't be an accident either!"
>>
>>
>>
>>
>>
>>
>>
>> The teacher fainted!
Maddy

United States

#1708 Mar 25, 2013
Last year Malia Obama spent her Spring break in Mexico and it cost over 115k to the US taxpayer. Then this year Obama Administration suspends White House tours citing secret service cost of 74k a week..Some reports say its closer to 18k week in secret service cost.

Our nation's children earn money all year in bake sales and other events so they can have a Spring break and visit historic Washington D.C. and the White House is part of that history. Now they are denied access to the "People's House".

Obama spent a cool million on his afternoon of golf with Tiger Woods on the taxpayer's dime. If the million dollars had been kept it would have funded the White House Tours for the foreseeable future. Our children who earned money to go to the White House would be awarded a trip they earned instead of being denied.

Guess where Malia and Sasha are spending their Spring break this year?

Atlantis Resort on Paradise Island in the Bahamas!

Wonder how much the US taxpayer is paying for Obama's kids to have a great Spring vacation but our nation's children are left out in the cold without access to our national historical sites that are paid for and maintained by the US Taxpayer?

King Barack,Queen Michelle, Princess Malia, Princess Sasha...

Does anyone else see how WRONG and UNFAIR closing the White House Tours instead of cutting back on waste which is everywhere in the federal government?

Call your Congress person and raise bloody hell. They are sitting on the Hill enjoying high paying jobs with heathcare package denied to the American Public while we struggle for a good paying job and FORCED to be on ObamaCare, private insurance premiums have doubled in the last couple of years. Actuaries tell us the price will go up future as more ObamaCare regulations take affect.

What are you going to do about it?
El Chapo

Austin, TX

#1709 Mar 25, 2013
Maddy wrote:
Last year Malia Obama spent her Spring break in Mexico and it cost over 115k to the US taxpayer. Then this year Obama Administration suspends White House tours citing secret service cost of 74k a week..Some reports say its closer to 18k week in secret service cost.
Our nation's children earn money all year in bake sales and other events so they can have a Spring break and visit historic Washington D.C. and the White House is part of that history. Now they are denied access to the "People's House".
Obama spent a cool million on his afternoon of golf with Tiger Woods on the taxpayer's dime. If the million dollars had been kept it would have funded the White House Tours for the foreseeable future. Our children who earned money to go to the White House would be awarded a trip they earned instead of being denied.
Guess where Malia and Sasha are spending their Spring break this year?
Atlantis Resort on Paradise Island in the Bahamas!
Wonder how much the US taxpayer is paying for Obama's kids to have a great Spring vacation but our nation's children are left out in the cold without access to our national historical sites that are paid for and maintained by the US Taxpayer?
King Barack,Queen Michelle, Princess Malia, Princess Sasha...
Does anyone else see how WRONG and UNFAIR closing the White House Tours instead of cutting back on waste which is everywhere in the federal government?
Call your Congress person and raise bloody hell. They are sitting on the Hill enjoying high paying jobs with heathcare package denied to the American Public while we struggle for a good paying job and FORCED to be on ObamaCare, private insurance premiums have doubled in the last couple of years. Actuaries tell us the price will go up future as more ObamaCare regulations take affect.
What are you going to do about it?
I know what I would like to do, but I would be in federal prison for my actions.
Maddy

United States

#1710 Mar 26, 2013
El Chapo goes to the doctor and is told he is suffering with an incurable condition and has only a month to live.

"No doc, no - I'm too young to die! Please, please, there must be something, anything that can be done to help me!"

"Well, the doctor says, you could try taking a mud bath several times a day and twice at night".

"Really doc really? Do you think it will help? Could I actually be cured?"

"No, the doctor says, but it will help you to get used to being in the dirt".
El Chapo

United States

#1711 Mar 26, 2013
Maddy goes to the doctor complaining of painful menstrual cycles.

"Well, the doctor asks, what kind of flow do you have?"

The woman glances up at the doctor with a quizzical look and replies "Linoleum"
Donnie

United States

#1712 Mar 26, 2013
re all these stupid, ill-mannered, republicans and wantabee repigs in the 1% of the ultra rich or are they just surrogates for the 1%?

A mouthpiece for the rich and usually talking out their azz because their mouth knows better."""
Donnie

United States

#1713 Mar 26, 2013
how fascinating the mind of a six year old
is. They think so logically.

A teacher was reading the story of the Three Little Pigs to her class. She
came to the part of the story where first pig was trying to gather the
building materials for his home. She read ...'and so the pig went up to
the man with the wheelbarrow full of straw and said:'Pardon me sir, but
may I have some of that straw to build my house?'

The teacher paused then asked the class:

'And what do you think the man said?'

One little EL Chapo raised his hand and said very matter-of-factly ...'I think
the man would have said -'Well, f*ck me!! A talking pig!'

The teacher was unable to teach for the next 10 minutes.
Donnie

United States

#1714 Mar 26, 2013
Help!

"Send someone over quickly!"
The old Maddy screamed into the phone. "Two naked bikers are climbing up toward my bedroom window!"
"This is the Fire Department, lady," the voice replied. "I'll have to transfer you to the Police Department."

"No, it's YOU I want!" she yelled. "They need a longer ladder!"

Ya'll have a nice day
Donnie

United States

#1715 Mar 26, 2013
ElChapo and Maddy, who have never met before, but are both married to other people, found themselves assigned to the same sleeping room on a transcontinental train.

Though initially embarrassed and uneasy over sharing a room, they were both very tired and fell asleep quickly...he in the upper bunk and she in the lower.

At 1:00 AM, the man leaned over and gently woke the woman saying, "Ma'am, I'm sorry to bother you, but would you be willing to reach into
the closet to get me a second blanket? I'm awfully cold."

"I have a better idea," she replied. "Just for tonight, let's pretend that we're married".

"Wow! That's a great idea!" he exclaimed.

"Good," she replied. "Get your own damn blanket!"

After a moment of silence, he farted.
Mary Fallin

United States

#1716 Mar 26, 2013
Little El Chapo returns from school and says he got an F in arithmetic.

“Why?” asks the father.

“The teacher asked:‘How much is 2 x 3?’” says Little Johnny,“And I said ‘6′.”

“But that’s right!”

“Then she asked me:‘How much is 3 x 2?’”

“What’s the f**king difference?” asks the father.

“That’s what I said…”
Mary Fallin

United States

#1717 Mar 26, 2013
The 70-year-old El Chapo went for his annual physical. All of his tests came back with normal results. Dr. DoLittle said,“ElChapo, everything looks great physically.

How are you doing mentally and emotionally? Are you at peace with yourself, and do you have a good relationship with your God?”

El Chapo replied,“God and me are tight. He knows I have poor eyesight, so He’s fixed it so that when I get up in the middle of the night to go to the bathroom, poof! the light goes on when I pee, and then poof! the light goes off when I’m done.”

“Wow,” commented Dr. DoLittle,“That’s incredible!”

A little later in the day Dr. DoLittle called El Chapo’s wife.“Maddy,” he said,“El Chapo is just fine. Physically he’s great. But I had to call because I’m in awe of his relationship with God. Is it true that he gets up during the night and poof! the light goes on in the bathroom and then poof! the light goes off?”

El Chapo’s wife exclaimed,“That old fool! He’s peeing in the refrigerator again!”
El Chapo

United States

#1718 Mar 26, 2013
''The Okie Head Honcho asked all the lowly peons to assemble in the main room of the Great House at 3 pm.
When they did, she proceeded to tell them>

''Peons, I have just been informed that we NOW have 3 cases of GONORRHEA in the mansion..

''Oh, Thank You, Great One '' said an elderly peon - she continued>

''What a pleasant change that will make from the Mexican Vodka ''!!!
Maddy

United States

#1719 Mar 26, 2013
FAKE Maddy wrote:
El Chapo goes to the doctor and is told he is suffering with an incurable condition and has only a month to live.
"No doc, no - I'm too young to die! Please, please, there must be something, anything that can be done to help me!"
"Well, the doctor says, you could try taking a mud bath several times a day and twice at night".
"Really doc really? Do you think it will help? Could I actually be cured?"
"No, the doctor says, but it will help you to get used to being in the dirt".
Everyone on the other thread say it's justaminute who is posting using other people's usernames. I didn't post this and would ask whoever is doing this to stop.
Donnie

United States

#1720 Mar 26, 2013
El Chapo wrote:
<quoted text>
I know what I would like to do, but I would be in federal prison for my actions.
I see old justaminute the village idiot is posting in other people's usernames just to stir a ruckus. She's so bat shit crazy liberal progressive no one on the threads want to post with her because of her constant stream of lies. Other liberals don't like her either so that should tell you how extreme her posts can be.
El Chapo

Austin, TX

#1721 Mar 26, 2013
Donnie? Why don't you graduate to a mature name... How old are you, anyway? Are your brothers Billy, Robbie and Scottie? I can hear it now, your mommy calling you for dinner....Donnie, time to come in now for vittles...you leave that donkey alone...

Donnie has terminal nut, anal and throat cancer all attributed to his homosexual and pedophilia lifestyle. He dies...end of story..nobody cares...

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