funny story about my father
Posted in the Mountain Grove Forum
#1 Dec 20, 2009
me and my father were in the mall last week doing some shopping (not much shopping, he's 92 years old) and decided to get something to eat at the food court. well some teenager sat at the table next to us, and his hair was a spiked mohawk, with red, blue, green, orange coloring. my dad could not stop staring it was so embarassing! well the kid finally got tired of my dads constant staring and he said "whats wrong old man? aint you ever done anything crazy in your life?" and my dad never hesitated he quickly said "yeah...got drunk once and fucked a peacock...just wondering if you were my son"
#2 Dec 20, 2009
that jokes been around for a long time......got anything new?
#3 Dec 20, 2009
Maybe it has been around a long time, but it is still funny! Thanks for the laugh. Soooo much better than the crap that is usually on here.
#4 Dec 21, 2009
That was the first time I had heard the joke and enjoyed it myself. Read it to my friend and they laughed histerically. To answer, since you seem to know everything, where's your big joke of the day. You're not the only audience out there you know. Can't even tell a freaking joke without someone being an ass. So what if you've heard it. It's funny damnit, laugh again.
#5 Dec 21, 2009
that comment wasn't a intended to sound mean. i just meant it was an oldie,and i asked for another joke. you didn't have to cuss at me. merry christmas too you all.
#6 Dec 21, 2009
I'm sorry, I took your comment wrong. This site is so negative and nobody has anything good to say about anything, I thought this was another instance. It was a good joke and I enjoyed it and chuckled outloud and then passed it on. Forgive me for my language and acting like the others that I can't stand on here. Seems no topic is safe on here. My father passed away this time last year and I commented on here about my memories of him and missing him, only for someone to comment back to me something very negative about my married name I was still going by. I couldn't believe someone could be so cruel and negative about something that had nothing to do with them or even effected them in any way, at that painful time in my life. When I'm wrong I say I'm wrong. Merry Christmas to you!
#7 Dec 21, 2009
I thought it was very funny! Thank you for sharing. I am sorry for the loss of your father. It is very hard to lose a parent, and the memories are especially painful at this time of year. I am so sorry that someone was cruel to you. It amazes me the things people say on here, how thoughtless and uncaring so many are. But it was kind of you to bring us a smile, and I thank you.
#8 Dec 22, 2009
Well I had never heard it before and think it was funny as all get out..... thanks for the laugh.
#9 Dec 29, 2009
litle tyrone (a little black boy)was watching his mom cook dinner. he covered his face with flour and sais LOOK! I AM A WHITE BOY!! his mom slapped him on the head and said, show your daddy what you just did,,, his daddy slaps him upside the head and he said show your granny the stupid thing you just did. so he did, his granny slapped him upside the head and asked him, what have you got to say for yourself,, Tyrone said i have only been white 5 minutes and i already hate you ni***rs,,
and before the rude comments i am not racists, i just thought this was cute
#10 Dec 29, 2009
just wait.. someone will get on here and call you racist for telling a cute simple little joke!
#11 Dec 29, 2009
These are funny! And cute. I dont think its racist
#12 Dec 31, 2009
Never heard this one before and thought it was cute and repeated it myself to another friend.
#13 Dec 31, 2009
> It is near the Christmas break of the school year. The students
> have turned in all their work and there is really nothing more to do.
> All the children are restless and the teacher decides to have an early
> Teacher: "Whoever answers the questions I ask, first and
> correctly can leave early today."
> Little Johnny says to himself "Good, I want to get outta here.
> I'm smart and will answer the question."
> Teacher: "Who said 'Four Score and Seven Years Ago'?"
> Before Johnny can open his mouth, Susie says, "Abraham Lincoln."
> Teacher: "That's right Susie, you can go home."
> Johnny is mad that Susie answered the question first.
> Teacher: "Who said 'I Have a Dream'?"
> Before Johnny can open his mouth, Mary says, "Martin Luther
> Teacher: "That's right Mary, you can go."
> Johnny is even madder than before.
> Teacher: "Who said 'Ask not, what your country can do for you'?"
> Before Johnny can open his mouth, Nancy says, "John F. Kennedy."
> Teacher: "That's right Nancy, you may also leave."
> Johnny is boiling mad that he has not been able to answer to any
> of the questions.
> When the teacher turns her back Johnny says, "I wish these
> bitches would keep their mouths shut!"
> The teacher turns around: "NOW WHO SAID THAT?"
> Johnny: "TIGER WOODS. CAN I GO NOW?"
#14 Dec 31, 2009
A husband and wife were sitting watching a TV program about psychology and explaining the phenomenon of mixed emotions.
The husband turned to his wife and said,Honey, thats a bunch of crap. I bet you cant tell me anything that will make me happy and sad at the same time.
She thought for a moment and then said:Out of all your friends, you have the biggest p***s
#15 Dec 31, 2009
The Pope and Nancy Pelosi are on stage in front of a huge crowd. The Pope
leans towards Mrs. Pelosi and said, "Do you know that with one little wave
of my hand I can make every person in this crowd go wild with joy? This joy
will not be a momentary display, like that of your followers, but go deep
into their hearts and for the rest of their lives whenever they speak of
this day they will rejoice!"
Pelosi replied, "I seriously doubt that; with one little wave of your hand?
So the Pope slapped her.
#16 Dec 31, 2009
A couple was on their honeymoon, lying in bed, about ready to consummate their marriage, when the new bride says to the husband, "I have a confession to make,I'm not a virgin."
The husband replies, "That's no big thing in this day and age."
The wife continues, "Yeah, I've been with only one other guy."
"Oh yeah? Who was the guy?"
"Tiger Woods, the golfer?"
"Well, he's rich, famous and handsome. I can see why you went to bed with him."
The husband and wife then make passionate love.
When they are done, the husband gets up and walks to the telephone.
"What are you doing?" asks the wife.
The husband says, "I'm hungry, I was going to call room service and get something to eat."
"Tiger wouldn't do that."
"Oh yeah? What would Tiger do?"
"He'd come back to bed and do it a second time."
The husband puts down the phone and goes back to bed to make love a second time.
When they finish, he gets up and goes over to the phone. "Now what are you doing?" she asks.
The husband says, "I'm still hungry so I was going to get room service to get something to eat."
"Tiger wouldn't do that."
"Oh yeah? What would Tiger do?"
"He'd come back to bed and do it again."
The guy slams down the phone, goes back to bed, and makes love one more time.
When they finish he's tired and beat. He drags himself over to the phone and starts to dial.
The wife asks, "Are you calling room service?"
"No! I'm calling Tiger Woods.
To find out what the par is for this damn hole."
#17 Dec 31, 2009
A blonde and her husband are lying in bed
Listening to the next door neighbor's dog.
It has been in the backyard barking for hours and hours.
The blonde jumps up out of bed and says,
"I've had enough of this".
She goes downstairs.
The blonde finally comes back up to bed
And her husband says "The dog is still barking,
What have you been doing?"
The blonde says,
"I put the dog in our backyard,
let's see how THEY like it!
Two Blondes With Hammers...
Lynn and Judy were doing some carpenter work on a Habitat for Humanity
House.?Lynn was nailing down house siding, would reach into her nail
Pouch, pull out a nail and either toss it over her shoulder or nail it
Judy, figuring this was worth looking into, asked,'Why are you
Throwing those nails away?'
Lynn explained,'When I pull a nail out of my pouch, about half of
Them have the head on the wrong end and I throw them away.'
Judy got completely upset and yelled,'You moron! Those nails aren't
Defective! They're for the other side of the house!'
A blonde hurried into the emergency room late one night with the tip
Of her index finger shot off.'How did this happen?' the emergency
Room doctor asked her.
'Well, I was trying to commit suicide,' the blonde replied.
'What?' sputtered the doctor.'You tried to commit suicide by shooting
Off your finger?'
'No, Silly' the blonde said.'First I put the gun to my chest, and
Then I thought,'I just paid $6, 000.00 for these implants..
I'm not shooting myself in the chest.'
'So then?' asked the doctor.
'Then I put the gun in my mouth, and I thought,'I just paid $3,000.00
To get my teeth straightened I'm not shooting myself in the mouth.'
'Then I put the gun to my ear, and I thought:'This is going to make a
Loud noise. So I put my finger in my other ear before I pulled the
A blonde was driving home after a game and got caught in a really bad
Hailstorm. Her car was covered with dents, so the next day she took it
To a repair shop. Theshop owner saw that she was a blonde, so he
Decided to have some fun.. He told her to go home and blow into the
Tail pipe really hard, and all the dents would pop out.
So, the blonde went home, got down on her hands and knees and started
Blowing into her tailpipe. Nothing happened.. So she blew a little
Harder, and still nothing happened.
Her blonde roommate saw her and asked,'What are you doing?' The first
Blonde told her how the repairman had instructed her to blow into the
Tail pipe in order to get all the dents to pop out.
The roommate rolled her eyes and said,'Uh, like hello!
You need to roll up the windows first.'
A blonde goes into work one morning crying her eyes out.
Her boss asked sympathetically,'What's the matter?'
The blonde replies,'Early this morning I got a phone call saying that
My mother had passed away.'
The boss, feeling sorry for her, says,'Why don't you go home for the
Day? Take the day off to relax and rest.'
'Thanks, but I'd be better off here. I need to keep my mind off it and
I have the best chance of doing that here.'
The boss agrees and allows the blonde to work as usual. A couple of
hours pass and the boss decides to check on the blonde. He looks out
from his office and sees the blonde crying hysterically.
'What's so bad now? Are you gonna be okay?' he asks.
'No!' exclaims the blonde.'I just received a horrible call from my
sister. Her mother died, too!'
HAPPY NEW YEAR EVERYONE! MAY 2010 BE GOOD TO US!
#18 Jan 1, 2010
now thats funny!!!!!
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