Why do men get along so well and wome...

Why do men get along so well and women hate each other?

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Stabbed in the back AGAIN

United States

#1 Feb 4, 2010
It makes no difference what kind of person you are or how well you treat your friends if you are a woman, there will be a group of other women who can't wait to talk about you. But they act like they just adore you to your face. I will never understand this, can anyone seriously explain why you All are like this? I am a woman, I try to be good and fair to everyone, but no one seems to genuinely like me, they all act like they do, invite me places, call me on the phone, and one by one, i find out that they talk about me behind my back, and NO i dont talk about them, so this is why i do not understand. I get my feelings hurt at least once a week. I want a REAL friend, im am dying for someone i can trust to talk to! Does this female exist? Be serious, im really hurting over this!
Mystery

Mount Sterling, KY

#2 Feb 4, 2010
So what is your age and occupation?
delilah

Englewood, CO

#3 Feb 4, 2010
Stabbed in the back AGAIN wrote:
It makes no difference what kind of person you are or how well you treat your friends if you are a woman, there will be a group of other women who can't wait to talk about you. But they act like they just adore you to your face. I will never understand this, can anyone seriously explain why you All are like this? I am a woman, I try to be good and fair to everyone, but no one seems to genuinely like me, they all act like they do, invite me places, call me on the phone, and one by one, i find out that they talk about me behind my back, and NO i dont talk about them, so this is why i do not understand. I get my feelings hurt at least once a week. I want a REAL friend, im am dying for someone i can trust to talk to! Does this female exist? Be serious, im really hurting over this!
i totally relate, i have the same drama.and ususally if your pretty & thin they HATE you...
Stabbed in the back AGAIN

United States

#4 Feb 4, 2010
Mystery wrote:
So what is your age and occupation?
What does that have to do with anything? As soon as i said, you'd know who i was and would "be stabbing me in the back again" I know who you are, by the way...
Stabbed in the back AGAIN

United States

#5 Feb 4, 2010
delilah wrote:
<quoted text> i totally relate, i have the same drama.and ususally if your pretty & thin they HATE you...
You are exactly right, and it doesnt matter if you pick friends who are thin and pretty as well, they still bash you behind your back. I am married, totally faithful to my husband, totally happy with my life, and i just would like a "girl" friend to shop and hang out with and talk on the phone to. My husband is my BEST friend, but there are alot of things that he doesnt understan, you know, girl stuff! I had a best friend for 10 years, she got married and is no longer "allowed" to hang out with me. He is so jealous of our relationsip, that he wont even let her call me anymore. I realize that it is her fault for allowing this to go on, but i am still crushed over it. She was the last one i had left, everyone else has already turned their back on me, i get so aggravated about this!
Mystery

Mount Sterling, KY

#6 Feb 4, 2010
Stabbed in the back AGAIN wrote:
<quoted text>What does that have to do with anything? As soon as i said, you'd know who i was and would "be stabbing me in the back again" I know who you are, by the way...
See there ya go thinking negative. Now you know why you get stabbed in the back.
forgiven

Mount Sterling, KY

#7 Feb 4, 2010
The simplest and most accute answer to your question is That women do not have the ability to forgive they never have and never will be able to forgive, not anyone anywhere. They are totaly consumed in hate, and jealousy. Ask as many of them as will tell you the truth...they will admit that they don't even like themselves. That is the truth.
hormones

United States

#8 Feb 5, 2010
Could some of this have to do with hormones in the body of girls and women? This thread is as right as rain as they say. Why are the men jealous of their wives talking to another woman on the telephone? I have 2 friends that have husbands like this. I would not put up with that from my spouse! What is this with the men????
Stabbed in the back AGAIN

United States

#9 Feb 5, 2010
hormones wrote:
Could some of this have to do with hormones in the body of girls and women? This thread is as right as rain as they say. Why are the men jealous of their wives talking to another woman on the telephone? I have 2 friends that have husbands like this. I would not put up with that from my spouse! What is this with the men????
I dont know, but my freinds husband, after about a year, has finally somehow convinced her that i am the reason for all her past problems. Truth be told, my husband knows, that it was me going to her rescue all the time and being the lie or excuse that she told to him! She used me to do the things she wanted to do and then would call me to come pick her up or would call me and tell me to say that she was with me. Before she started dating this guy, she was a party girl, my husband works out of town alot, so i had plenty of time to go to her rescue. I would be on the phone with him, trying to argue with her that she needed to come on, it was getting late, etc... Honestly, she used to be the reason that my husband and i would argue sometimes, but i would always defend her! Then she met this guy, she started spending alot of time with him, and settled down somewhat, next thing i know, they are getting married and she doesn't have time for me. It started out that she was so busy, now she doesnt call or answer the phone when i call. Ive heard from others that she talks about me, and sometimes on here (topix) i swear i know its her thats talking about me! I am extremely hurt over this. I expect to get shit on by most people, but i didnt expect it from her!
Could be Worst

Mount Sterling, KY

#10 Feb 8, 2010
I have a friend that I would like to be closer to who told me strait up that she couldn't trust women anymore cause her last "girl" friend ended up sneaking around with her husband. She was married for 15 years and really trusted them together. The husband was a basketball coach and her "friend" was a mom of one of his players. Trish is such a wonderful person that I cant understnad how either of them could have done this too her. I personaly blame the "friend" even more than the husband because Trish would talk to her about her problems and the slut would go behind her back and use the information to convince the husband he wasnt appreceated. The kicker is that the slut was and is still married to some man in the army. Its no wonder than girls and women have problems with trust and forgiveing.
Wise in Mt Sterling

Mount Sterling, KY

#12 Feb 9, 2010
forgiven wrote:
The simplest and most accute answer to your question is That women do not have the ability to forgive they never have and never will be able to forgive, not anyone anywhere. They are totaly consumed in hate, and jealousy. Ask as many of them as will tell you the truth...they will admit that they don't even like themselves. That is the truth.
BS
zombie

Fairborn, OH

#13 Feb 9, 2010
There are many selfish people out there. Male and female. No offense but it seems like maybe you are picking the wrong kind of friends. The person you wrote about was a user. If you are honest with yourself you will probably admit you kinda knew it all along. You put up with her crap because you just wanted a friend. And she knew it. I have had friends like that myself. But I learned to be more careful. If you really want some advice I'll give you some. 1 Take your time. Deep frienships need time to develope. Don't assume the person shares your feeling about loyalty and honesty until you have known them for a long time. 2 Some people will never be more than casual friends. They can be fun to hang out with but you will not be able to trust them with your secrets, fears and dreams. They just don't have it in them. Just accept them for what they are. 3 All friendships have a natural ebb and flow. Sometimes you are close, other time not so much. Don't get too upset everytime it seems a little one sided. 4 Don't give too much and when you do be sure of your intentions when you do. People may think you are trying to manipulate them or buy them somehow and resent you for it. Or they may take advantage of you good nature.
There are women out there who can be fantastic friends. I lost my best friend in a car accident 2 years ago. I think about her every day and I still smile. I could trusted her with my life. I have female friends I have known for years. Don't give up. But you need to examine your motivations and above all don't settle for bad friendships.
Old Hippie

Mount Sterling, KY

#14 Feb 9, 2010
Forgiven wasn't bullshitting Its the truth whether you want to believe it or not. Just do something wrong to a woman and you will live with it every day until the day you die.
zombie

Fairborn, OH

#15 Feb 9, 2010
Old Hippie - Have you ever heard the expression water seeks it's own level? I have forgiven and been forgiven by some wonderful women. If you are spending time with someone bitter and nasty maybe it's because you are also bitter and nasty. Try forgiving them for their faults and maybe they will forgive you.
Wise in Mt Sterling

Mount Sterling, KY

#16 Feb 9, 2010
zombie wrote:
There are many selfish people out there. Male and female. No offense but it seems like maybe you are picking the wrong kind of friends. The person you wrote about was a user. If you are honest with yourself you will probably admit you kinda knew it all along. You put up with her crap because you just wanted a friend. And she knew it. I have had friends like that myself. But I learned to be more careful. If you really want some advice I'll give you some. 1 Take your time. Deep frienships need time to develope. Don't assume the person shares your feeling about loyalty and honesty until you have known them for a long time. 2 Some people will never be more than casual friends. They can be fun to hang out with but you will not be able to trust them with your secrets, fears and dreams. They just don't have it in them. Just accept them for what they are. 3 All friendships have a natural ebb and flow. Sometimes you are close, other time not so much. Don't get too upset everytime it seems a little one sided. 4 Don't give too much and when you do be sure of your intentions when you do. People may think you are trying to manipulate them or buy them somehow and resent you for it. Or they may take advantage of you good nature.
There are women out there who can be fantastic friends. I lost my best friend in a car accident 2 years ago. I think about her every day and I still smile. I could trusted her with my life. I have female friends I have known for years. Don't give up. But you need to examine your motivations and above all don't settle for bad friendships.
So very true. I also have friends on several different levels, from very long time friendships to casual acquaintances. And I pick and choose who to trust with my confidences. But, I find women, in general, to be very loyal and compassionate. I wouldn't waste my friendship time with a woman that isn't as honest and up front as I am.
What

Mount Sterling, KY

#17 Feb 9, 2010
Could be Worst wrote:
I have a friend that I would like to be closer to who told me strait up that she couldn't trust women anymore cause her last "girl" friend ended up sneaking around with her husband. She was married for 15 years and really trusted them together. The husband was a basketball coach and her "friend" was a mom of one of his players. Trish is such a wonderful person that I cant understnad how either of them could have done this too her. I personaly blame the "friend" even more than the husband because Trish would talk to her about her problems and the slut would go behind her back and use the information to convince the husband he wasnt appreceated. The kicker is that the slut was and is still married to some man in the army. Its no wonder than girls and women have problems with trust and forgiveing.
Which Trish are you talking about? And who is the friend?
stabbed in the back

Lexington, KY

#18 Feb 10, 2010
zombie wrote:
There are many selfish people out there. Male and female. No offense but it seems like maybe you are picking the wrong kind of friends. The person you wrote about was a user. If you are honest with yourself you will probably admit you kinda knew it all along. You put up with her crap because you just wanted a friend. And she knew it. I have had friends like that myself. But I learned to be more careful. If you really want some advice I'll give you some. 1 Take your time. Deep frienships need time to develope. Don't assume the person shares your feeling about loyalty and honesty until you have known them for a long time. 2 Some people will never be more than casual friends. They can be fun to hang out with but you will not be able to trust them with your secrets, fears and dreams. They just don't have it in them. Just accept them for what they are. 3 All friendships have a natural ebb and flow. Sometimes you are close, other time not so much. Don't get too upset everytime it seems a little one sided. 4 Don't give too much and when you do be sure of your intentions when you do. People may think you are trying to manipulate them or buy them somehow and resent you for it. Or they may take advantage of you good nature.
There are women out there who can be fantastic friends. I lost my best friend in a car accident 2 years ago. I think about her every day and I still smile. I could trusted her with my life. I have female friends I have known for years. Don't give up. But you need to examine your motivations and above all don't settle for bad friendships.
you sound like a very wise person. When you wrote that"people may think you are trying to buy them and resent you for it, and they may feel like you are manipulating them", something clicked inside my head! I always go above and beyond for my "friends", i try to treat them or do for them what i think i would like, and if they need something that they cant afford, i find myself buying it or calling in a favor to a friend for them, i have a business here in town, and have alot of customers that are from different types of businesses. This has got to be what i do wrong, i am the object of alot of critisizm and hate here on topix. It has been written several times that i manipulate people, OMG, i never use anyone, if i ever do ask for anything, its always for someone else and i return the favor by trading my services for theirs, you know, bardering( i dont know how to spell that, although i should,lol) My "friends" say that the person or persons who are talking about me are just jealous of my success or whatever, i dont buy it. I think they are just miserable, and misery loves company. I am normally a very positive and happy person, but lately i feel really alone and untrusting of anyone. I have made it a point not to talk to ANYONE about ANYTHING for the last four months. I dont go anywhere but to the store and back, i live in the country, have no neighbors, my husband definately doesnt discuss anything outside our house with anyone, and i am still being talked about, EVERYDAY, on here, on a topic that i will not mention, by some female person. Granted that its all past crap they are bringing up, of course, adding more information that is just plain out lies, and completely making up alot more than could ever be truth. Ive tried responding, and not responding, note, this has been going on for about two years now. My "friend" that i discussed and you responded to, she and i havent spoken a word to one another for about seven months, and i stopped calling or hanging out with all of my other "friends" long before that because of all the bashing on here, to try and nip it in the bud, but it is so getting worse and i am completely lonely. My husband is awesome at listening to me, and he really is my best friend, but i want a female friend. How would you suggest i go about it? Now, i am terrified of trusting anyone.
zombie

Fairborn, OH

#19 Feb 11, 2010
Try joining a book group at your local library or if you are a church person a Bible study. Don't go looking to make a life long friend, just to spend time and get to know people. There are walking groups, movie groups and even dining groups. Some of them you can do with your husband. Look them up online at www.meetup.com
The key is to really take your time. Don't trust somebody right away. At least not with everything. You have to go through things with people to bond with them. That's why some of our oldest friends are our best friends.
I am a very giving person too. I come from a home where we always set an extra place at the table and I would often wake up to find someone asleep on the living room sofa. Money means nothing to me so I spend it on the people I care about. But people who have lived a different way don't understand that and are sort of suspicious of my motives. The people I grew up with understand because they remember my folks and the their hospitality. But I haven't lived in my home town for years. So I understand.
It's great that your husband is so supportive but you're right, you do need female friends too.
Check out the meet up website I mentioned and good luck. Keep us posted, I'd like to hear that you're happy and meeting people.
By the way, really look for red flags. People with constant problems in their lives sometimes have them because they make bad choices. Or they are the cause of the problems. For instance don't trust a woman who cheats on her husband or boyfriend. If she would do that to him think about what she'd pull on you!

“Live Fast;; Die Pretty!!”

Since: Feb 10

Mt. Sterling

#20 Feb 11, 2010
Whether Your Friends Are Male Or Female. They Will Stab You In The Back Some Way. But You Will Eventually Learn To Trust No One But Yourself.
Sorry

Mount Sterling, KY

#21 Feb 20, 2010
What wrote:
<quoted text>
Which Trish are you talking about? And who is the friend?
Trish stull used to be a teacher. I don't remember her husbands name but he is a coach. The slut friends ne is Missy Begley and she betrayed Trish bad enouhg that she mostly has men friends. She told me that her women friends usually can't be trusted abs that is so sad. She is such a good person who would give you the shirt off her back. One good thing about what Missy and the Nicola girl did is that trish looks happier than she has in a while. It's just a shame that women do this to each other. Time to go to work. I'll check back later.

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