Should I let my 12 yr old get her nip...
Dr D

Huntsville, AL

#25 Dec 22, 2008
As an emergency room physician I have seen an alarming increase in MRSA (drug resistant staph) infections requiring incison and drainage of large amounts of pus and leaving scars and often reoccurring in the same area. Any site where the skin is broken is at potential risk for this. For this reason, I think you would be putting your 12 year old daughter at risk of a potentially life threatening infection if you allow unnecessary piercing. JUST SAY NO.
PS...I am also a single mom, and no it isn't easy but you need to be strong!
Downtown Bob

Goose Creek, SC

#26 Dec 23, 2008
Dr D that is a different view of things. Might be wise to listen to.

Peacham, VT

#27 Apr 9, 2009
If shes 12 and wants her nipples pierced then you are going to have problems. The only reason people get things pierced is to show you want your 12 year old showing her breasts? Do a compromise of a belly button piercing or another earring, even nose...but I would not suggest letting her get her nipple done.
need feedback wrote:
We both agreed after some arguing that she won't get a tattoo until she's at least 18. She wants me to compromise and let her get her nipples pierced. I don't like it, but I don't think it's nearly as bad as a tattoo. I'd like your opinions, and share them with her while we make our decision. Thanks!

Cumberland, MD

#31 Apr 10, 2009
OMG I cannot even believe the insanity of our culture today. Stop this world I want to get off. I am 50 and quite liberal in my thinking. I am also a therapist and i see what a world running to fast is doing to people.
A 12 year old who wants to get her nipples pierced is a young woman seeking an identity or trying to fill a self esteem void that will not be solidified , or healthy through the brandishing of piercing, tattoos etc. I would be watching for cutting or dysfunctional eating behaviors. To test if she is ready for this procedure Give her a binder clamp (purchased at any office supply store) and let her put these on her nipples, if she enjoys the pain, be concerned. This would be similar to running a needle through a developing 12 year old nipple.
I have to ask who is in control in your house? How about teaching her about life, coping with the word no and about what really matters, which at 12 should not be entertaining nipple piercing.
Don't try to be her friend or her cool parent. Children have enough friends what they need are adults to mentor them about taking life slow, acting your age, learning to make good , rational, decisions. Twelve year olds are not ready to make any decision at this level. When she can pay her own health insurance, take herself to the hospital and can independently support herself and can afford to be out of work for possibly "months" with a MRSA infection, then I say that's a good time to get her nipples pierced.
Come on, what are we doing to our children OMG

Cumberland, MD

#32 Apr 10, 2009
i see that you are a single mother. Do not let that role compromise your ability to make strong healthy decisions for your daughter. If you don't take control and tell her that she is not in charge and that when you say things are non-negotiable, they are non- negotiable. It just sounds like she may be trying to gain the attention of males, in place of the love she has missed from a father role model. Teach her to be strong woman who does not have to define herself through appearing sexually appealing or through riske behaviors. Her brain has not even hit it's last "major stage of development". Her age is 12, her emotional and maturity level are a 12 year olds- throwing a tantrum, being relentless in her badgering to get her way- is immaturity. All behavior like hers "cites" that this behavior gets results. It is apparent that you have given her some sense that you can be negotiated with and/ or beat down until you are worn out or feeling guilty. In order to get different results, you have to change how you are handling your parent role. i wouldn't work for a 12 year old and I certainly wouldn't allow one to run my house. If I would have carried on like this to my parents "just one time", I would still be trying to find my way back to today. I was not abused, but my parents made the decisions. My job was to be a kid and to act my age. My life was good, I had fun at 12 and I didn't grow up too fast. As a result I can endure stress and life's ups and downs. I am resilient and am skilled and confident at making decisions that I am willing to live with consequences that come from them.
Some of the strongest, confident women I know have been single parents. Find your way to your own competence as an adult woman and mentor your kids to be able to feel good about themselves for the people they are, for being a decent human being, for being open minded, for being independent and not someone who follows, but rather someone who can stand still and be content, not for the brand clothes they own or wear, their body art, or adornments.
Survey says

United States

#33 Apr 10, 2009
Give her a good slap.

United States

#34 Apr 29, 2009
I want that 12 year old!!

North Charleston, SC

#35 Apr 29, 2009
I'm a woman with 4 kids who is going through a divorce right now.It is not easy to raise kids on your own.Yes sometimes they are a pain in the butt but for the most part i enjoy being a mom.
I used to spoil my kids but i started to get tougher on them when i realized that other then love they need discipline.Without it they will not make it in this world.Without discipline they is no respect no regards towards other.Everything starts at home.It is our duty as parents to teach our children everything what they need to become good citizens.
I tell me kids that i'm their friend but their mother first.That they have to respect and obey the rules i set in my house.As long as they live in my house they will follow them.When they move out they can set their own rules in their own place and i'll respect them.
I have a 13 year old daughter who is very respectful towards me.I'll sit with her and talk to not only like a mother but also as a friend.Thank God she never came home with that kind of crazy request but if she would believe me once i'm done talking to her she would never ask me twice.I love my kids and do everything for them but they know that they cant manipulate me nor behave that they dont have no sense.They know i'm the adult and they are the kids.I always made sure that they know where their place is.A parent is the one who makes the desicions for their young kids.A parent is the one who guides them the right way and teaches them responsibility.
You dont let a 12 year old make those kids of decisions.She is a child and you have a job to teach her that.If she throws tantrum you stay strong as an adult and ignore her.Find ways to punish her.Each time you give in she will use that to her advance knowing that her screaming will annoy you and give in to everything she wants.Show some backbone.You are not the only single parent in this world.Millions of parents been in your shoes and dealt with that.

Charleston, SC

#36 Apr 30, 2009
You gotta be kidding to even be considering that. This is exactly why the society has degenerated to where it is. Stop with the "not as bad as" crap and be a parent. Stop thinking you have to be their friend.

Since: May 09

Fort Huachuca, AZ

#37 May 1, 2009
Gee Mom, thanks for letting me get my nipples pierced. You know what would be cool, letting Bobby spend the night!! Please Mom, that would be so cool! The other girls are doing!!
young college student

Charleston, SC

#38 May 2, 2009
I'm 24 and have nokids bu I feel if you even have to think about that question for more than one momment to realize the answer is NO, I now realize why this world is so f*cked up. We have too many people in it that shouldn't be parents!!!!!!!!!!Your little girl won't grow up to be the lady you would love to see if you let her get that done. PLUS. You decided to have a child so put up with the annoyance and screaming it's your job!!! I think it may be agaist the law too. If not it should be. Then again, this question could all be a joke which I hope it is!

Beaufort, SC

#40 May 9, 2009
To let a 12 year old child go out and get her nipples pierced is crazy... Even to consider it the parent must be crazy... I would think if she wanted it pierced she would want to show it off... A 12 year old shouldn't be showing her nipples to anyone even the person piercing it... That is just bad parenting to think about that... If my child came home with her nipples pierced I think I would knock some sense back into her... Or maybe just rip the rings right out... I think at 12 years old the parent has the right to say no to anything the child ask... Not to compromise with the child... This is just a sick question to ask and you shouldn;t have to think about something like this or ask people to help you out... You are the parent use you head... Didn't God give you a brain or when he was handing them out where you to busy doing something else... Come on people... This is why the world is the way it is now... Stop being so stupid...

Los Angeles, CA

#41 May 11, 2009
datz a stupid ass question what good parent in their right mind would even have to think about something like that...

first off she's only twelve she shouldn't even be thinking about that right now.
Second she's not fully developed yet soi can get really infected and may cause minor damages.

and she's to young and by you being a parent you should have slap her in her mouth and told her to stay in a childs place...its not lady like and its very sluttly to guys and usually if they know you have them they know you'll will make yourself available..

so my answer is hell naw she need to be in them books,,,,damn she cant even get a job yet and she want some piercing haha please

London, UK

#42 May 14, 2009
Omfg your nutz if you let her have this done 12 years old im 15 and ive got a few pericings but now i find them soo boring seriously. you need to put your foot down be4 its too late

Columbia, SC

#43 May 18, 2009
I understand where you are coming from. I do not have any children, but I've worked with children for years. Watching screaming kids wears on you--especially when you are already worn out from work and other responsiblities. I also have a lot of piercings. First, 12 is way to young. Unless they have changed the rules, it is illegal in this state unitl you are 14 by a licensed shop.
Second, nipple piercings are super painful and take months to heal. They also have a high risk of rejection (meaning, if the piercing pushes itself out of her skin, she'll have hard scar tissue in her nipples--not very attractive). Third, everyone on hear is totally right. I was very rebellious at 12, and I thank God everyday that my mother stepped up and put her foot down. She was a single mother whose husband had just left her after purchasing a new, much more expensive house which she could not afford so she had oodles of stress at the time. I feel bad now that I wasn't able to relieve her of some of the stress. I wanted to get my navel pierced. She told me she would pay for it on my 14th birthday if I wanted to get it done at that time. I think your daughter is just trying to be different, edgy, cool. This is not the way. Maybe you could tell her, that unfortunately she can't get it done here right now, but if she'd like, you'll take her out and get her hair done really crazy, however she'd like. If she's into the emo/rebel/goth phase like I was, pink and teal hair would be much cooler than a nipple piercing that burns from the pressure of a shirt. Idk, just food for thought. The most important thing to learn from this situation, is DO NOT GIVE UP OR IN. It WILL get better, and she'll RESPECT you in the end. My mother is my best friend. We talk about everything, and I wouldn't trade it for the world.

Sunman, IN

#44 May 22, 2009
You are a dumb bi*ch. She is a kid and not capable of making sound decisions, this is where you THE PARENT should come in. What the hell is wrong with you?

Since: Jun 08

United States

#46 May 29, 2009
Raising a future pole dancer.

Tokyo, Japan

#47 Jun 20, 2009
i am pretty sure a piercing/tattoo shop would never ever ever pierce a 12 year olds nipples....

Since: Jun 09

Huntsville, AL

#48 Jun 20, 2009
12 yrs, WTF is wrong with you, letting your kid run you. Be a parent, this is a no-brainer. Idiot

Woodbridge, Canada

#49 Jul 14, 2009
This mother should never have been a parent. You are a disgrace to mothers around the world. You should jump off a cliff right now or take a 45 to your head

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