Teardrop

United States

#21 Jan 5, 2012
Go 2..to teardrop..that is where you told me she is your white fire...that is how I know...& #nine well that I can't explain...only that I feel you...I can't understand it myself...I don't know who you are & I know you don't know me...I am not her
Teardrop

United States

#22 Jan 5, 2012
Please don't leave...I'm telling u the truth...I wish I was her...I'm just someone who believes in you...I just really listen 2 you...I know you care a lot bout her...just like I do him...I really need to hear from you...if you want me 2 leave you alone just tell me...just don't leave me like this..
Teardrop

United States

#23 Jan 5, 2012
The only thing I can tell you about the #9, is that there is a song I like & there is where I got it...listen 2 it "Cloud number 9" by: Bryan Adams...that's when I was talkin' 2 Shakes...whom I thought he was you...talk 2 me, please...did you go back 2, to teardrop, that is where you told me, she was your white fire...that's how I know...please Archangel!!!

Since: May 11

Location hidden

#24 Jan 5, 2012
I'm so sorry! Wow, I feel like such a dumbass...you shouldn't use things that I've said about her to get my attention, it messes with my head too much, lol. okay, ANYWAYS, let's just forget all that stuff even happened okay?:-)

Since: May 11

Location hidden

#25 Jan 5, 2012
i meant where you put "nine words"...

thought i had it all figured out...i feel crazy with that stuff sometimes, lol.

i don't mind if we just chat here, i thought the e-mail stuff would be better cuz it'd be more private, just you and me and no one else's prying eyes, even if they're not from Fal'

it's whatever you want, but you have my word that your name/identity would be safe with me. i wouldn't tell a soul, i don't even know that many people there.:-)
Teardrop

United States

#26 Jan 5, 2012
Are you ok? I am sorry...I won't do it again...did you move?...you really like her...you must be in love with her...I feel bad 4u...you should be together. I wonder how this happens...why is it that, the one person that you hold so close 2 your heart, is the that is the farthest? You made me write "Teardrop" on the other topix. Your not a dumbass...your just a guy...that I laugh with...did you ever finish hearin' the other songs...if you don't hear from me I'm off to pick up my little one

Since: May 11

Location hidden

#27 Jan 5, 2012
Yes, we've already moved.:-)

I just want what God has planned, as far as being with her. If it's destined, then it will be. If not, than I will be her greatest Friend.
Teardrop

United States

#28 Jan 5, 2012
Don't you feel sometimes like helpin' "destiny" alittle...just my thought...you have such will power...I use 2 b afraid of so many things...you know my first boyfriend, don't laugh, at the age of 18yr, old...I kid you not...my first around 22, now you can laugh...but not 2much...oh well I guess it wasn't a bad thing, right? I guess when you live in a ranch, there's really nothing bad you can do, & I never wanted 2 worry my mom! I'm really shy too...& I guess I never thought I was pretty enough...sad right? I came across a schoolmate, & I asked him, he said that most were probable afraid 2 ask me cuz I was shy & would say no...maybe he was being nice...I don't know!

Since: May 11

Location hidden

#29 Jan 5, 2012
Well, if I help Destiny, than that destiny would cease to be REAL! That's what I think anyways.

I won't laugh cuz I waited 'til I was 19 to lose my virginity to someone I thought was special, and the very next day she told me she had a boyfriend and she didn't wanna hurt him, lol. So I preceded to "catch up" in the year following that...was very lucky I didn't catch anything...how romantic right?:-P

Your friend might have a valid point.:-)
Teardrop

United States

#30 Jan 5, 2012
Your so funny...not me I'm not that experienced, aside from him...I've been with 4! Wow! I've a lot of men come up 2 me but No way...not 4 me...but I'm scared cuz of him...I really feel so much for him...he's being good...I don't want 2b & I do...women right? Go figure. Do you watch the GMC channel? There goin' 2 watch a good movie on the 29th...To Save A Life...they show a lot of Christian movies & sing a lot of Christian songs...I like 2 watch that channel most of the time...they were watch Angels amongst us on Chrismas eve...I stayed up till 2am, the I had 2 get up early. I can't stop being happy...thank you!!

Since: May 11

Location hidden

#31 Jan 5, 2012
lol

i'll have to check that channel out!

it's not like i had a woman every night for that year or something, just here and there...I was an idiot, I felt like I'd waited and waited and then it ended up being for nothing, so i felt like i had some catchin' up to do, with a wound...

don't be so hard on your own kind, y'all can't help it! baaahahaha, just kidding.:-P
Teardrop

United States

#32 Jan 6, 2012
What r u doing up? Can't sleep?...what do you mean my kind? My kind can teach you a thing or two? J/kidding...have you not heard that song lonely women make good lovers...I love music...if only...so do you still sing looney sonds, that r stuck in your head from along time ago...how did you lose weight?...I've lost around alittle, I like the way I feel inside & out...but I need to lose alittle on the low belly! I mean I'm not that bad, when I put jeans its not all hangin' out but still I want like maybe to tone it up...

Since: May 11

Location hidden

#33 Jan 6, 2012
lol...well, I've gained a little back, but it takes me 2 weeks on a treadmill and whatever I've gained over the holidays will disappear, just waitin' 4 the semester to start so i can use the gym with my student i.d....no, i can't sleep, was about to try again, but then i saw your message...i actually feel great, don't know why i just don't wanna sleep lately...

oh I'll always sing those looney songs, im just a big dork, lol

how did you know i was still up?

you can't sleep either or what?
Teardrop

United States

#34 Jan 6, 2012
I woke up & decide 2 check if you ever responded back...& 2 my surpise you did. I love typin' 2 you! I 've really enjoy you, you real, pure & your nice so it seems. it let's me know your still here with me...do u talk a lot 2 ur friend? Send me one of your looney songs...midnight angel...that's how I know

Since: May 11

Location hidden

#35 Jan 6, 2012
well...last night she kinda finally let me know that she's seein' things a lot more clearly lately, and things have been goin' a lot better with her husband, so the waves, as she would always put it, when it came to missin' me, she said she's not feelin' anymore...she's better at puttin' the feelings in a place deep inside, so she says, and I have more trouble controlling them...luckily things have been going so much better with my wife...that I've been seein' things a lot more clearly as well...otherwise, I'd be hurtin' pretty bad right now.

so yeah...i don't think we'll be talkin' as much anymore...i mean, we already weren't talkin' that much...i don't wanna make it hard for her, so i think i will just completely lay off any sort of communication with her, except for responding if she messages me...and if she ends up suddenly feelin' one of those waves again (this has happened a couple times before where she was committed to keeping her feelings for me in check but then ended up missing me so much they re-surfaced), I will be strong and not feel my own wave back. The lack of communication might backfire and make her miss me too much, but something tells me she is more for real about this time. I think the only thing that bothers me about the whole thing is feeling like she's felt like this for much longer than she has...honestly i think she told me a good while back...i just feel like sometimes she thinks she has to baby me, like tell me things to re-assure me, which would make what she's telling me somewhat deceptive or insincere, but I'm trusting that she means every single thing she says, cuz she has such a wonderful, pure heart.
Teardrop

United States

#36 Jan 6, 2012
I don't know what 2 say...but you have always talk in away a woman only dreams a man would feel 4 her...what you have 4 this friend is much more than can be said...I guess u have 2 be outside the window lookin' in...its sad, so much feelings but that's where it stays...& sometimes its where they should stay...I guess your right "if its destiny" it will happen, when the time is right...or she will have the greatest friend! I was listening 2 this song & it reminded me of you, how I see you "Courageous" by: Casting Crown...I'm sure you have heard it...I'm goin' 2 make me something 2 eat, I am very hungry...
moosetafha

Charleston, SC

#37 Jan 6, 2012
do you have aids?

Since: May 11

Location hidden

#38 Jan 6, 2012
yeah, it's funny, but I used to cling on to the hope that one day we would eventually be together, but now, it's like that has dissolved, but in a good way. I'm at Peace with everything. I hope she trusts that in me. :-)
Teardrop

United States

#39 Jan 6, 2012
I don't know but the friend that I was talkin' 2 you about...when I saw him, that very first day we met...was right in front of me, minus the rain...when you have so much love 4 that person it never ends...shakers was right there r no endings...him & I were never together like that...never got the chance...the want & need was there but he held back...the reason he now tells me is cuz he loved me enough not 2 hurt me...now look where we r...I would have held on 2 him...a love like that doesn't come around often...how is it that there r things in us that we just can't explain or fix...with every tear I have cryed in my life...I will never forget that day, when he said he was not goin' see me anymore...for so long I waited 4 him & now he is here...but he is still him...runnin' from what is real...I haven't a clue, how 2 let go of him...he is the one true man that I will love forever...& I guess that love that I feel will b the thing that may set me free from him...he is confusin' says things then goes in another direction, crazy...men go figure them, you 2...Mr. Circle...let's go watch the movie "War horse"

Since: May 11

Location hidden

#40 Jan 6, 2012
Wow! That is a lot of weight to bear, my friend.

I'm sorry that you have to feel that pain, I felt like that for so long, wanted my wife to be her so bad, but it really comes down to...the importance of what's best for me and what's best for my friend being of equal importance...until that's acheived, one side will always be less or greater than the other. I always wanted what was best for my friend and her family, but until I wanted what was best for myself and my own family with the same passion, it remained unhealthy.

Now reading the Word on a regular basis, and the importance of not letting the devil attack my wife and children through me outweigh it all.

;-)

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