Should Parents Be able To Go Through Children's Phones

Posted in the Morristown Forum

First Prev
of 2
Next Last
Daisey

Morristown, TN

#1 Mar 14, 2013
My daughter always complains about me going through her phone. What is your thoughts ? Does this make me a bad parent to want to snoop through her stuff?
Thoughtful

Morristown, TN

#2 Mar 14, 2013
Personally, I think it shows you want to be a good mother.

The age of the child, how you go about it, to what extent you invaded her privacy, how you react, and what you do with the information you learn all contribute...so it's not clear cut.

Hopefully you can keep an open dialogue so she can feel free to share those things with you, but admittedly, in this age, that's tough.
Beth

Morristown, TN

#3 Mar 14, 2013
I do not have kids, but I WILL give you my opinion. If a parent commits to buying a kid a phone and that kid accepts responsibility for that phone, then the parent has EVERY right to pilfer through it. Parent pays the bill--kid uses good judgement. Winner.
Mel

Morristown, TN

#4 Mar 14, 2013
Die. Die. Die. Death.
concise

Morristown, TN

#5 Mar 14, 2013
It makes you a very good parent. You are being safe about who she is talking to, texting, etc. I do the same here. I know some parents don't agree,and that's ok. My feeling is as long as you are under my roof,you will go by my rules (one being I monitor and screen the cell phone) or if you don't like the rule, there is no cell phone.
Sassy

Fayetteville, NC

#6 Mar 14, 2013
You're crazy if you don't go thru it!!!
Anonymous

Morristown, TN

#8 Mar 15, 2013
i have a two year old but i got my first cell phone when i got into highschool and let me just say my mom never went through mine never asked to go through mine and i mean if you give your child a phone its saying you think they are responsible enough to have one i one think that is like being a hypocrite you prob gave the phone for emergiences incase something happens and they need to get a hold of you but i mean if you gave it to them then you should respect some things i mean im sure you know your childs friends but they can delete stuff before you get it or what if they were having a private conversation and didn't want you to read unless your child is acting up badly where you can't trust them then you should stay out of it and respect them having some privacy, privacy is a part of growing up and if your child wanted to tell you something they would come to you but unless that happens you should not snoop to see what is going on in your childs life besides thats showing your child you don't trust them but i mean there is other ways around going through and seeing without your child thinking you are the phone bill comes in and has numbers and you can even look that stuff up on line...just give your child some breathing room my mom did and still to this day i tell my mom everything that happens good or bad....my opinion of course but its your call
Simple Joe

Morristown, TN

#9 Mar 15, 2013
You have this all wrong. It is YOUR PHONE. You are letting her use it.
Mona

Morristown, TN

#10 Mar 15, 2013
Be sure to forward any questionable messages to your own phone. You'll have proof in case the kid deletes the ones that you have already seen. Kids are little liars these days.
Parental position

New Market, TN

#11 Mar 15, 2013
How pays for the phone...
If your child is responible enough to have a job and pays their own phone bill then trust them to be responible with the phone... However if you pay the phone bill that is YOUR phone and you just let them use it you have every right to go through it...
My sister went thought my niece's phone and found out she had been sexting multiple boys...
Parental position

New Market, TN

#12 Mar 15, 2013
*Who
Not Perfect

Dandridge, TN

#13 Mar 15, 2013
Koolbeans.....It is obvious that you do not have teenagers. While I understand what you are saying about privacy and respect, it is the prudent parent that uses every possible mode to stay up on your child's activities. I'll convey a true story. Carroll O'Conner, the actor who played Archie Bunker, had a son die of a drug overdose. In an interview, through tears, he stated, "Get between your kids and trouble any way possible". What does this mean? Well, in my humble opinion, parents are not being hypocritical by "snooping", they are being responsible adults. I've raised two wonderful children, both are working professionals with families of their own. We were lucky and blessed by God. We also snooped..........
two sides

Linden, TN

#14 Mar 15, 2013
I'm in my mid 20s now, but my parents never went through my phone,car, etc. they always gave me respect and in return I always called them when I was out and came home on time. Now I am a responsible adult that is able to take care of myself and child.

My friends parents went through his phone, truck, etc. his whole teenage and early adulthood. So he always rebelled against them because they were overbearing. Now he has two kids and isn't a responsible adult and in rehab.
Clara Fy

Morristown, TN

#15 Mar 15, 2013
koolbeans wrote:
i have a two year old but i got my first cell phone when i got into highschool and let me just say my mom never went through mine never asked to go through mine and i mean if you give your child a phone its saying you think they are responsible enough to have one i one think that is like being a hypocrite you prob gave the phone for emergiences incase something happens and they need to get a hold of you but i mean if you gave it to them then you should respect some things i mean im sure you know your childs friends but they can delete stuff before you get it or what if they were having a private conversation and didn't want you to read unless your child is acting up badly where you can't trust them then you should stay out of it and respect them having some privacy, privacy is a part of growing up and if your child wanted to tell you something they would come to you but unless that happens you should not snoop to see what is going on in your childs life besides thats showing your child you don't trust them but i mean there is other ways around going through and seeing without your child thinking you are the phone bill comes in and has numbers and you can even look that stuff up on line...just give your child some breathing room my mom did and still to this day i tell my mom everything that happens good or bad....my opinion of course but its your call
Ever hear of a period? Or punctuation at all? Perhaps that's what they were teaching in school the day you got your 2-year-old,'cause you missed it somewhere!
i just love it

Dunlap, TN

#16 Mar 15, 2013
I set my kids down and told them, if you want a phone then you must agree that I can look at it ANYTIME I see fit. The same went for Facebook, I have all their passwords and email address. I went to the website and showed them where I can see when every text or call to their phone. I told them if anything gets deleted before I see it, I take the phone and they won't get it back till they move out. There are no questions ask! Kids don't know all they think they do! I don't owe them any kind of privacy! Who the hell came up with that idea, oh yeah KIDS did. When I was a teenager I could not be trusted, and neither could anyone else. What I do owe my kids is protection at any means I see fit! Oh yeah and there is the my house my rules! My kids don't have a problem with this. I don't abuse this right, I rarely look, but do every once in a while. Now they are according to the law grow ups, 20, and, 19, and one in his early teens. One of the older one work full time and the other is full time at Carson Newman. They don't try to pull the I am over 18 crap on me! They live in my house, so my rules. They know and will tell you that I have their best interest at heart, its not about controlling them, its about helping them not making stupid mistakes I did. Now I know some of you are going to say that I don't have the right to do this, but they are my kids and I don't need your permission. If the two oldest didn't like it they could have already move out. Well the one in college does live in the dorms during the week, but runs right home as soon as class is out on Friday.
two sides

Linden, TN

#17 Mar 15, 2013
i just love it wrote:
I set my kids down and told them, if you want a phone then you must agree that I can look at it ANYTIME I see fit. The same went for Facebook, I have all their passwords and email address. I went to the website and showed them where I can see when every text or call to their phone. I told them if anything gets deleted before I see it, I take the phone and they won't get it back till they move out. There are no questions ask! Kids don't know all they think they do! I don't owe them any kind of privacy! Who the hell came up with that idea, oh yeah KIDS did. When I was a teenager I could not be trusted, and neither could anyone else. What I do owe my kids is protection at any means I see fit! Oh yeah and there is the my house my rules! My kids don't have a problem with this. I don't abuse this right, I rarely look, but do every once in a while. Now they are according to the law grow ups, 20, and, 19, and one in his early teens. One of the older one work full time and the other is full time at Carson Newman. They don't try to pull the I am over 18 crap on me! They live in my house, so my rules. They know and will tell you that I have their best interest at heart, its not about controlling them, its about helping them not making stupid mistakes I did. Now I know some of you are going to say that I don't have the right to do this, but they are my kids and I don't need your permission. If the two oldest didn't like it they could have already move out. Well the one in college does live in the dorms during the week, but runs right home as soon as class is out on Friday.
I got my own phone and place to live when I was 19. I was very responsible an didn't have parents do everything for me either!
regular kid

Linden, TN

#18 Mar 15, 2013
i just love it wrote:
I set my kids down and told them, if you want a phone then you must agree that I can look at it ANYTIME I see fit. The same went for Facebook, I have all their passwords and email address. I went to the website and showed them where I can see when every text or call to their phone. I told them if anything gets deleted before I see it, I take the phone and they won't get it back till they move out. There are no questions ask! Kids don't know all they think they do! I don't owe them any kind of privacy! Who the hell came up with that idea, oh yeah KIDS did. When I was a teenager I could not be trusted, and neither could anyone else. What I do owe my kids is protection at any means I see fit! Oh yeah and there is the my house my rules! My kids don't have a problem with this. I don't abuse this right, I rarely look, but do every once in a while. Now they are according to the law grow ups, 20, and, 19, and one in his early teens. One of the older one work full time and the other is full time at Carson Newman. They don't try to pull the I am over 18 crap on me! They live in my house, so my rules. They know and will tell you that I have their best interest at heart, its not about controlling them, its about helping them not making stupid mistakes I did. Now I know some of you are going to say that I don't have the right to do this, but they are my kids and I don't need your permission. If the two oldest didn't like it they could have already move out. Well the one in college does live in the dorms during the week, but runs right home as soon as class is out on Friday.
Your kids are probably weirdo's too. No normal 20 yr old likes their parents going through their phone. Im betting they are socially challenged. Also what person has time to keep up with 3 different kids texts and calls. Most normal people text at least 20-100 times a day.
i just love it

Morristown, TN

#19 Mar 15, 2013
First I think if you read my post, I said I hardly ever look at them. I just keep the
right too. Second I don't think they have any social problems, as there are always at least 6-10 of there friends here. The one going to college has played football since he was 6 till now (playing for Carson Newman). They always had plenty of girl friends. You are right they probably don't like it, but they do like living for free. Instead of spending all their money on rent, lights, groceries, etc. I would never read their text to their girl friends or anything, that would be a little far even for me. Like I did say its just about learning to live by rules in life.
regular kid

Linden, TN

#20 Mar 15, 2013
Normal kids don't have their friends hanging out at their parents house on the weekends UNLESS they aren't there (PARTY). But your kids probably don't even know what that means.
father

Shelbyville, TN

#21 Mar 15, 2013
Daisey wrote:
My daughter always complains about me going through her phone. What is your thoughts ? Does this make me a bad parent to want to snoop through her stuff?
Until she turns 18, it's Dad's way or no way. That's my decision, not hers, and certainly not a concern of anyone on Topix. She has the option of my or no phone. Simple.

Tell me when this thread is updated:

Subscribe Now Add to my Tracker
First Prev
of 2
Next Last

Add your comments below

Characters left: 4000

Please note by submitting this form you acknowledge that you have read the Terms of Service and the comment you are posting is in compliance with such terms. Be polite. Inappropriate posts may be removed by the moderator. Send us your feedback.

Morristown Discussions

Title Updated Last By Comments
Local pill dealers (May '11) 3 hr SEM 312
cops gone bad #9 4 hr Curious 44
Tater 4 hr Janice 9
Who snitched on Brandon purkey and frank gobble 5 hr concenred 3
tonya lewis (Feb '10) 5 hr Friendofurs 86
ESPN report Peyton Manning 6 hr LnP 5
adultery 6 hr Long Legs 9

Flood Warning for Hamblen County was issued at March 05 at 12:00PM CST

Morristown Dating
Find my Match
More from around the web

Morristown People Search

Addresses and phone numbers for FREE

Personal Finance

Mortgages [ See current mortgage rates ]

NFL Latest News

Updated 2:46 pm PST

Bleacher Report 2:46PM
Panthers Sign TE Olsen to 3-Year Extension
ESPN 3:04 PM
Olsen inks 3-year, $22.5M deal with Panthers
Yahoo! Sports 3:14 PM
Panthers give Greg Olsen 3-year, $22.5M contract extension
CBS Sports 4:38 PM
Greg Olsen signs 3-year extension with Panthers: 4 things to know
NFL 4:47 PM
Ereck Flowers of Miami a possible fit for Carolina Panthers