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1 - 13 of 13 Comments Last updated Oct 22, 2012
Anyone been here

Lebanon, TN

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#1
Oct 20, 2012
 

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I know that I'm not the only one who's ever been here. So I want to know how others have gotten out of major depression. This has gone on for at least 7 months now. I feel abandoned. I don't see any good in myself & everyone just uses me. I've been this way before but was able to work through it by keeping hope for the future. I don't have that this time. I'm numb. I have nothing more to give. Please don't tell me to pray, that's a lot of what started this episode. I solemnly believe that God picks & chooses who He wants. I'm being punished for trying to follow Him. I'm not suicidal. I do want the pain to end. I can understand how someone can become an addict. I just wish I had a real friend but no one cares for me except what i can do for them. Is there just something wrong with me that makes me unlovable? How does everyone else cope?

Since: Apr 09

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#2
Oct 20, 2012
 

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Depression affects people in many different ways.Depression hit me somewhere around 1983 when I was 16 years of age and still in High School.I also suffered from anxiety attacks though back then I really didn't understand what was occurring, such as the symptoms of depression and anxiety.
First, I think we need to address that if this has been an ongoing problem, then you should consider seeing a professional who could prescribe the proper medication for the problem.I'm not ashamed to admit that I've been prescribed depression and anxiety medication for many years.I also enjoy discussing this subject with anyone that depression affects, because I've been down that long dark road of despair and know what it can do to you.Please also realize that there are many like us searching for hope to be happy once again.You are a person who can make a difference in someones life.
You have a purpose in this life and are capable of giving and receiving much love.Once you realize your self worth, then you are on the right track to finding happiness.I've been long considering starting a thread like this, and thank you for doing such.
Ali

Morristown, TN

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#3
Oct 20, 2012
 

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If I may, I want to hitch a ride on this thread and read a few comments before I share any stories of my own.
Anyone been here

Lebanon, TN

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#4
Oct 20, 2012
 

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I've been on antidepressants before. It helped some but it seemed like just admitting what was going on helped more. I've recently been through counseling & tried talking to friends but it hasn't helped this time. I really don't want to talk at all anymore. I have daydreams about becoming catatonic.
Realist

Talbott, TN

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#5
Oct 20, 2012
 

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you need to find a kindred spirit to talk with. Someone who can identify with what you are going though and just offer some compassion and support.
Encourager

Morristown, TN

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#6
Oct 20, 2012
 

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Im sure that is why you are on here to find a kindred spirit to talk to and identify. You have no one to talk to whom you know and can trust, right? I, too have had this problem years ago. I was always a very shy person and would have panic attacks when I was in high school. When the teacher would ask me a question, my head would start to spin, I felt dizzy, my face would get red, my hands would perspire, and I thought I was going to pass out. I had no idea what was happening to me. I had no one to talk to about this, and so I just tried to avoid situations that put me in the spotlight. I tried several half-hearted suicide attempts, such as drinking rubbing alcohol at home, which only made me puke..I never heard of panic attacks back then. I struggled along, and as time went by I kinda outgrew them, I guess you could say. I became more confident in myself, and less self-conscious. I still have a hard time talking in groups and expressing myself. There are some very good medications available for depression such as cymbalta for one. Counseling has helped me along the way. I have become a Christian, and that has helped me more than anything. I am not as self-conscious since I am more interested in others than myself. Reading self-help books has helped me, and watching talk shows and watching TBN and Christian television shows helps me. I love to listen to someone give their testimonies about how they have overcome adverse situations.
I am just trying to help you with letting you know you are not alone, even though you feel you are. I care and am willing to listen and give you some feedback if you want..
Anyone been here

Lebanon, TN

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#7
Oct 21, 2012
 

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Realist wrote:
you need to find a kindred spirit to talk with. Someone who can identify with what you are going though and just offer some compassion and support.
I thought I had that but it turned out to be just another person who needed help but really didn't care about me. My job puts me in a position where everyone brings their problems to me to fix. I made the mistake of thinking some were friends. Other than that, I have no one I can relate to. I've been looking. I'm so desperate now, I'd probably come across as a psycho & scare anyone off anyway. I feel like I'm being held under water.
Anyone been here

Lebanon, TN

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#8
Oct 21, 2012
 

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Encourager wrote:
Im sure that is why you are on here to find a kindred spirit to talk to and identify. You have no one to talk to whom you know and can trust, right? I, too have had this problem years ago. I was always a very shy person and would have panic attacks when I was in high school....
I am just trying to help you with letting you know you are not alone, even though you feel you are. I care and am willing to listen and give you some feedback if you want..
I appreciate you listening. I really do. I used to be shy, experience & my work has gotten me past that. At least in one on one settings. I just don't trust people. I watch them. No one cares for others anymore. But they all expect me to- with no boundaries.
I believe in God. I know he could help me but he chooses not to. It has been during the times that I dare to try getting close to Him that I get hurt the worst. I was relatively happy until I tried that again. Every time I get a glimmer of what my hearts desire has always been then its ripped away.

My mind says I want to die all the time but really I just want to disappear & see if anyone would notice other than those looking for me to do something for them.
parent

United States

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#9
Oct 21, 2012
 

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How old are you? I'm very sorry your dealing with this. I have a teen that is dealing with anxiety and depression as well. Meds only made things worse so they aren't always the answer:/and friends are a joke, often not understanding, sometimes even using it against my teen using words like "spoiled "or "hypercondriac" making a person go deeper in that dark place. Just know your not alone in this:/
Anyone been here

Lebanon, TN

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#10
Oct 21, 2012
 
I feel for your child. I'm 40 & there are times it's been better since high school but it always comes back. I thought I had it licked & one event triggered the worst bout I've ever had with it.

Word of advice to you: be a friend to your child. He/ she needs a safe haven but don't just assume they know you are there for them. My father wasn't there & my mother died when I was young. I wonder if one had been there if I'd be better at dealing with this today.
A Christian

Morristown, TN

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#11
Oct 21, 2012
 
I can tell you from my own experience with this same problem that God did help me overcome depression and anxiety..I cannot tell you that it was easy, it came from praying to Him and having faith in Him that it eventually went away. I have had many nights that I have went to bed praying that God would help me take away the anxious feeling that someone was going to break in on me and kill me. I would pray and it would go away and I would fall asleep. With counseling, I learned that the feeling came from someone breaking in on myself and getting to close to me. There is no easy solution. I have a family member who is fighting the same thing, only deeper. He has never had a father figure or mother either to be there for him. He has alot of anxiety, and depression and we are trying to work through it. You certainly are not alone. Prayer and faith in God helps more than anything else. Try to think positive and remember that God does love you and people do care. I care, and I want to help you, just keep on praying and trying to find ways to help someone else, that works best for me, and it takes my mind off myself. I wonder how a support group for people with depression and anxiety would work. Have you ever thought about that? I have never thought about it before. I know there are support groups for just about everything, so why not for that? Sounds good to me..Just getting together with others who are likeminded and sharing sounds good. What do you think?

Since: Apr 09

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#12
Oct 21, 2012
 

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Anyone been here wrote:
<quoted text>
I appreciate you listening. I really do. I used to be shy, experience & my work has gotten me past that. At least in one on one settings. I just don't trust people. I watch them. No one cares for others anymore. But they all expect me to- with no boundaries.
I believe in God. I know he could help me but he chooses not to. It has been during the times that I dare to try getting close to Him that I get hurt the worst. I was relatively happy until I tried that again. Every time I get a glimmer of what my hearts desire has always been then its ripped away.
My mind says I want to die all the time but really I just want to disappear & see if anyone would notice other than those looking for me to do something for them.
It is a basic Human need to be wanted and loved.Sometimes in our varying moods associated with depression, we shut out everyone else that is in our life.It does appear that in this day and time folks are so cruel to each other.It also appears that a lot of people are out for all they can get with no apparent guilt nor remorse for those they hurt in the process.These are the people that I don't allow to be around me.Try to surround yourself with folks that have a positive outlook in life, and those that truly want to help instead of hurt.
Anyone been here

United States

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#14
Oct 22, 2012
 
A Christian- thank you for the response. I'm glad you are doing better. It was my trying to get back into a string relationship with God that started this for me. I'm so mad at God right now i cant stand it. There's a lot to that story that I won't share on Topix but the long & short is that I helped other people who then completely turned away from me & the whole thing turned me onto the talk of the town. Which brings me to your question about a support group- I am very private. I would never sit in a group where people can identify me & share my skeletons with the rest of town for the sake of good gossip.
Echostar- I want to surround myself with people who care but I have a case of invisibility. I try to talk to people but they just blow me off- unless they need something of course. The sad truth is, I've gotten more support out of this thread on Topix than I have any of my so called family or friends.
Please don't stop writing. I may sound negative, I'm trying not to. What I say is nothing compared to how I feel inside.

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