In love with my ex that I cheated on

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I messed up

Morristown, TN

#1 Aug 1, 2011
I have fallen back in love with my ex boyfriend who I cheated on. We dated a very long time and were about to get engaged, he was looking at rings. He then found out I had cheated on him with a couple guys. I was lying to him, saying I was with friends when I was really seeing another guy.

It has been 3 years since we broke up. I recently began speaking to him, and he has told me that he has moved on and wouldn't ever give me another chance. I have grown up a lot since then and am a different person. I am 25 now and know I messed up and want him back. I know I crushed him and he found out I was cheating at a crucial time in his life when he was going through some serious matters. Is there anything I can do to show him I have changed and get him back? We are both single and in our upper 20's.

He tells me he forgives me but still his feelings have changed and he never could fall in love with me again. What do I do???
Amber

Morristown, TN

#2 Aug 1, 2011
Pour your heart out to him and let him know you are very remorseful for your actions. Try to be friends first and see where that takes you. Is he currently dating anyone?

“Typical of the area”

Since: Aug 10

College Park, MD

#3 Aug 1, 2011
I messed up wrote:
Is there anything I can do to show him I have changed and get him back?
Yes, there is something you can do. Move on with your life as he has his own. Stop playing games with people's feelings. You knew exactly what you were doing when you did it. That man was looking at wedding rings for you, and the whole time you were lying and fcking other people behind his back. You're the epitome of low-life trash that plagues this world. What happened? Did your other victims figure out you were a little wh0re3 as well? Good for them if they did.

Here's some advice for you. Leave the guy alone, you don't deserve him. You are trashy and you do not deserve anyone who's going to treat you right. What you deserve is precisely what you do to other people, and nothing more.
yup

Blacksburg, SC

#5 Aug 1, 2011
Good_Luck wrote:
<quoted text>
Yes, there is something you can do. Move on with your life as he has his own. Stop playing games with people's feelings. You knew exactly what you were doing when you did it. That man was looking at wedding rings for you, and the whole time you were lying and fcking other people behind his back. You're the epitome of low-life trash that plagues this world. What happened? Did your other victims figure out you were a little wh0re3 as well? Good
for them if they did.

Here's some advice for you. Leave the guy alone, you don't deserve him. You are trashy and you do not deserve anyone who's going to treat you right. What you deserve is precisely what you do to other people, and nothing more.
sounds right to me.
Move on 2

Maryville, TN

#6 Aug 1, 2011
I know a bitch just like you. Same as the post above. Move on and stay the hell out of other people's life. Some insecure bitch like you needs to have the hell beat out of them by some woman and the man you wrecked his life - he needs to ask you what part of get out of my life bitch don't you understand. Hanger- on-ers like you are a damn emotional crazy ass sick bitch. So shut your whinning oh I love him mouth and get on with your life elsewhere. Give me your damn name and I'll call Cherokee to see if I can get you an appointment. Maybe they can help you work out your emotional issues so you can get on and stay out of people's life.
Move on 2

Maryville, TN

#7 Aug 1, 2011
Good_Luck wrote:
<quoted text>
Yes, there is something you can do. Move on with your life as he has his own. Stop playing games with people's feelings. You knew exactly what you were doing when you did it. That man was looking at wedding rings for you, and the whole time you were lying and fcking other people behind his back. You're the epitome of low-life trash that plagues this world. What happened? Did your other victims figure out you were a little wh0re3 as well? Good for them if they did.
Here's some advice for you. Leave the guy alone, you don't deserve him. You are trashy and you do not deserve anyone who's going to treat you right. What you deserve is precisely what you do to other people, and nothing more.
Good Luck so very well said. Trash like this makes me so sick I could puke for a week.
Move on 2

Maryville, TN

#8 Aug 1, 2011
Amber wrote:
Pour your heart out to him and let him know you are very remorseful for your actions. Try to be friends first and see where that takes you. Is he currently dating anyone?
How the hell old are you - frigging 16. Take your high school advice back to school in a few days and hopefully you will mature up a bit before you ever have a serious relationship. If you're trying to be Ann or Abby you need to find a different career path.
Lisa

Morristown, TN

#9 Aug 1, 2011
Once someone is cheated on....all trust is gone. Trust is not given freely. It is earned. Yes, people screw up and do stupid things but unless you were like 12 or 13 (and if I did the math correctly, you were not) you knew full well what you were doing and what the outcome would be. Being cheated on is one of the worst feelings your heart will ever experience. It embarrasses you, makes you feel like you weren't good enough, makes you hate the person who cheated and it also makes you have major trust issues in the future. This could be why he is still single. Mental abuse (and being cheated on falls into this category) does affect your ability to trust in the future and this guy may still be struggling with that with other women. Although it is not fair to any other women who may be interested in him because they are paying for YOUR screw up.

My husband was cheated on by his ex wife. For almost 3 years before they divorced. He only found this out after he and I had been together for almost a year so it didn't affect his ability to trust me as I had already gained that trust. But it still affected him. Not as bad as it would've had he of known when it was going on but a part of him, understandably, felt like he wasn't good enough for her and all he did for her. Thankfully, he knew he had a better woman in his life who he could trust and who would never betray him. I let him feel his emotions and his anger and that is the past and he and I don't live in his past. We have a healthy, happy marriage and are very much in love today.

This man deserves better than you. I'm not saying your a bad person. I'm saying he deserves someone who will be faithful to him. You were not. If you truly this guy, leave him be. Allow him to find happiness with someone else. Does it suck for you? Yes. Is it your fault? Hands down. Sometimes people don't realize what they have until it is to late. They think there is always something better. This sounds like the case with you and was the case with my husbands ex wife as well. She thought, because he didn't give her everything she wanted on demand that some other man would. Being young at the time is irrelevant as you knew what you were doing so age is not a factor. And having cheated on him when he was going through whatever it was he going through is an even bigger slap in the face for the poor guy. If you had loved him you would have been by his side through whatever it was he was going through and not out here triffling around. And to top it all off you weren't only cheating, you were lying to him too. Nothing worse than a liar in my book. Even if he did, and I hope he has more sense, did take you back you would need to be prepared for a lifetime of questions, answering to him every where you go and every move you make, him snooping through your phone, computer, everything looking to see if you're up to your old tricks. He would not let his guard down for one second and what kind of life would that be for either of you? Sure, it might not bother you at first that he was questioning everything you did but over time you would be like "when is he going to trust me again" or "will he ever trust me again" and that alone would cause major issues for you both.

You ask for advice. Mine would be, move on and leave this guy alone. For both your sakes.
Move on 2

Maryville, TN

#10 Aug 1, 2011
Lisa wrote:
Once someone is cheated on....all trust is gone. Trust is not given freely. It is earned. Yes, people screw up and do stupid things but unless you were like 12 or 13 (and if I did the math correctly, you were not) you knew full well what you were doing and what the outcome would be. Being cheated on is one of the worst feelings your heart will ever experience. It embarrasses you, makes you feel like you weren't good enough, makes you hate the person who cheated and it also makes you have major trust issues in the future. This could be why he is still single. Mental abuse (and being cheated on falls into this category) does affect your ability to trust in the future and this guy may still be struggling with that with other women. Although it is not fair to any other women who may be interested in him because they are paying for YOUR screw up.
My husband was cheated on by his ex wife. For almost 3 years before they divorced. He only found this out after he and I had been together for almost a year so it didn't affect his ability to trust me as I had already gained that trust. But it still affected him. Not as bad as it would've had he of known when it was going on but a part of him, understandably, felt like he wasn't good enough for her and all he did for her. Thankfully, he knew he had a better woman in his life who he could trust and who would never betray him. I let him feel his emotions and his anger and that is the past and he and I don't live in his past. We have a healthy, happy marriage and are very much in love today.
This man deserves better than you. I'm not saying your a bad person. I'm saying he deserves someone who will be faithful to him. You were not. If you truly this guy, leave him be. Allow him to find happiness with someone else. Does it suck for you? Yes. Is it your fault? Hands down. Sometimes people don't realize what they have until it is to late. They think there is always something better. This sounds like the case with you and was the case with my husbands ex wife as well. She thought, because he didn't give her everything she wanted on demand that some other man would. Being young at the time is irrelevant as you knew what you were doing so age is not a factor. And having cheated on him when he was going through whatever it was he going through is an even bigger slap in the face for the poor guy. If you had loved him you would have been by his side through whatever it was he was going through and not out here triffling around. And to top it all off you weren't only cheating, you were lying to him too. Nothing worse than a liar in my book. Even if he did, and I hope he has more sense, did take you back you would need to be prepared for a lifetime of questions, answering to him every where you go and every move you make, him snooping through your phone, computer, everything looking to see if you're up to your old tricks. He would not let his guard down for one second and what kind of life would that be for either of you? Sure, it might not bother you at first that he was questioning everything you did but over time you would be like "when is he going to trust me again" or "will he ever trust me again" and that alone would cause major issues for you both.
You ask for advice. Mine would be, move on and leave this guy alone. For both your sakes.
Good for you too Lisa. You are one hell of a smart woman. Your guy is lucky he has you and not the piece of cheating trash he was lucky enough to get rid of.
Lisa

Morristown, TN

#11 Aug 1, 2011
Thank You. Thank You very much :). I'm lucky to have a great husband too. Thank God his ex did cause him to be jaded because he and I both would have missed out.
Lisa

Morristown, TN

#12 Aug 1, 2011
That should be "didn't cause him to be jaded"....lol
Word

Marshall, NC

#13 Aug 1, 2011
WOrd, move on and leave him alone. If ya didn't. Have the chemistry to keep ya from strayin ' then ya don t deserve a the guy
I messed up wrote:
I have fallen back in love with my ex boyfriend who I cheated on. We dated a very long time and were about to get engaged, he was looking at rings. He then found out I had cheated on him with a couple guys. I was lying to him, saying I was with friends when I was really seeing another guy.
It has been 3 years since we broke up. I recently began speaking to him, and he has told me that he has moved on and wouldn't ever give me another chance. I have grown up a lot since then and am a different person. I am 25 now and know I messed up and want him back. I know I crushed him and he found out I was cheating at a crucial time in his life when he was going through some serious matters. Is there anything I can do to show him I have changed and get him back? We are both single and in our upper 20's.
He tells me he forgives me but still his feelings have changed and he never could fall in love with me again. What do I do???
JMB

Marshall, NC

#14 Aug 1, 2011
I don't know I mean I ve gotten money orders behind my husbands back fvor different stuff so I think everybody deserves a second chance for lying. I mean that's just my opinion everyone cheats at one time or another right ? Was it with his friend ?
OMG

San Jose, CA

#15 Aug 1, 2011
It's very difficult to realize your mistakes as time passes. If we only had a rewind button? You will have to move on, I mean its been three years, and for your own peace I would cut off all ties with him, because you will only be haunted by what you once had. I am glad you learned from your mistakes for that is what makes us all human. No one is perfect and with that said you will be a better woman for the next man in your life. Having emotions for him again in normal you will grieve and if you haven't already this is the point you truly realize your mistakes but you will also learn to never make that same stupid mistake again.
Word

Marshall, NC

#16 Aug 1, 2011
If ya was lying to me straight faced would be enuf for me to never get lied to ya again, ya know ? Can t stand a torn up liar I d rather be smacked
Sick of it

Morristown, TN

#17 Aug 1, 2011
JMB wrote:
I don't know I mean I ve gotten money orders behind my husbands back fvor different stuff so I think everybody deserves a second chance for lying. I mean that's just my opinion everyone cheats at one time or another right ? Was it with his friend ?
Would you want your husband lying to you?
behavin

Manchester, TN

#18 Aug 1, 2011
Lisa wrote:
Once someone is cheated on....all trust is gone. Trust is not given freely. It is earned. Yes, people screw up and do stupid things but unless you were like 12 or 13 (and if I did the math correctly, you were not) you knew full well what you were doing and what the outcome would be. Being cheated on is one of the worst feelings your heart will ever experience. It embarrasses you, makes you feel like you weren't good enough, makes you hate the person who cheated and it also makes you have major trust issues in the future. This could be why he is still single. Mental abuse (and being cheated on falls into this category) does affect your ability to trust in the future and this guy may still be struggling with that with other women. Although it is not fair to any other women who may be interested in him because they are paying for YOUR screw up.
My husband was cheated on by his ex wife. For almost 3 years before they divorced. He only found this out after he and I had been together for almost a year so it didn't affect his ability to trust me as I had already gained that trust. But it still affected him. Not as bad as it would've had he of known when it was going on but a part of him, understandably, felt like he wasn't good enough for her and all he did for her. Thankfully, he knew he had a better woman in his life who he could trust and who would never betray him. I let him feel his emotions and his anger and that is the past and he and I don't live in his past. We have a healthy, happy marriage and are very much in love today.
This man deserves better than you. I'm not saying your a bad person. I'm saying he deserves someone who will be faithful to him. You were not. If you truly this guy, leave him be. Allow him to find happiness with someone else. Does it suck for you? Yes. Is it your fault? Hands down. Sometimes people don't realize what they have until it is to late. They think there is always something better. This sounds like the case with you and was the case with my husbands ex wife as well. She thought, because he didn't give her everything she wanted on demand that some other man would. Being young at the time is irrelevant as you knew what you were doing so age is not a factor. And having cheated on him when he was going through whatever it was he going through is an even bigger slap in the face for the poor guy. If you had loved him you would have been by his side through whatever it was he was going through and not out here triffling around. And to top it all off you weren't only cheating, you were lying to him too. Nothing worse than a liar in my book. Even if he did, and I hope he has more sense, did take you back you would need to be prepared for a lifetime of questions, answering to him every where you go and every move you make, him snooping through your phone, computer, everything looking to see if you're up to your old tricks. He would not let his guard down for one second and what kind of life would that be for either of you? Sure, it might not bother you at first that he was questioning everything you did but over time you would be like "when is he going to trust me again" or "will he ever trust me again" and that alone would cause major issues for you both.
You ask for advice. Mine would be, move on and leave this guy alone. For both your sakes.
You sound like the Newport/Trailer trash that broke up my friends marriage,If you were seening him for a year and he was married,then you weren't the only one he was sleeping with,once a ho always a ho,man ho woman ho,they never stop! And if you are who i think you are neither one of you got a prize ,but you deserve each other,And his exwife never cheated just in his mind !Women and men like you and him will come to a sad end..wait and see..and you will deserve it!
I messed up

Morristown, TN

#19 Aug 1, 2011
Wow such kind comments. I am sorry I was an immature 22 year old girl. Yes I did screw a few guys behind his back and yes he was faitful and honest to me for four years. I made a mistake, I have realized that for a very long time.

I wish I could feel different and not be in love with a man, who I cheated on but I am. I felt horrible when I found the receipt for the down payment on a ring and realized he was looking at rings.

You know what all the guys I cheated on my ex boyfriend with turned out to be jerks and when I wouldnt have sex with them, didnt want me to come over and I hated myself for a very long time for breaking a faitful persons heart.

I believe all mistakes are forgivable, and I just cant give up, my heart aches thinking about not being with the man I love. I cry about it every night, just hoping for that one chance. I know cheating on someone is very wrong and I am truly sorry for what I did. I have apologized in letters, email and in person and nothing I do is going to change his mind. I just dont understand why he says I couldnt earn his trust back, I will commit my whole life to trying.
Amber

Morristown, TN

#20 Aug 1, 2011
I think it is mature of you to recognize your mistakes and to be a woman and apologize. No one is perfect and if these people who posted above are quick to judge you...I sure hope they never make any serious mistakes in their lives. I wish there were "perfect" advice for you, but the truth is...you may need to try to move on. I don't know how healthy it is for you to stay in an emotional limbo over a man who has no desire to be with you. It may be realistic for you two to be friends...maybe that would at least help you feel better to have him as a friend rather than not have any relationship with him at all. Keep your head up and try not to make the same mistake twice. You are still very young and have the opportunity to have a healthy & happy relationship in the future.
take it from an old dude

Talbott, TN

#21 Aug 1, 2011
I messed up wrote:
Wow such kind comments. I am sorry I was an immature 22 year old girl. Yes I did screw a few guys behind his back and yes he was faitful and honest to me for four years. I made a mistake, I have realized that for a very long time.
I wish I could feel different and not be in love with a man, who I cheated on but I am. I felt horrible when I found the receipt for the down payment on a ring and realized he was looking at rings.
You know what all the guys I cheated on my ex boyfriend with turned out to be jerks and when I wouldnt have sex with them, didnt want me to come over and I hated myself for a very long time for breaking a faitful persons heart.
I believe all mistakes are forgivable, and I just cant give up, my heart aches thinking about not being with the man I love. I cry about it every night, just hoping for that one chance. I know cheating on someone is very wrong and I am truly sorry for what I did. I have apologized in letters, email and in person and nothing I do is going to change his mind. I just dont understand why he says I couldnt earn his trust back, I will commit my whole life to trying.
Honey I think you little young immature gals need to grow up and move on. Stay out of this man's new life. Chances are he is happy and you don't filter into his equasion any more. Many years ago a gal and I tried to rekindle a relationship we had before. We had changed and there was way too much stuff between the years for there to ever be anything there again. I sorta kinda agree with some things said here. The one thing that comes to mind is you obviously have a problem. So now you need to do just as I said move on down the road.

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