How East-Tennesseean Are You?
Posted in the Morristown Forum
#1 Jul 2, 2011
A friend of mine put this together. I thought you folks might get a kick out of it.
You're from East-Tennessee if you can name all four seasons, but you're REALLY from East-Tennessee if they are: Mosquito Season, Snake Season, Speed-Trap Season, and Mud Season.
You're from East-Tennessee if you own flannel shirts, but you're REALLY from East-Tennessee if you've ever worn a tie with one.
You're from East-Tennessee if you drive back-roads, but you're REALLY from East-Tennessee if you drive them to avoid cops.
You're from East-Tennessee if you own a pick-up truck, but you're REALLY from East-Tennessee if it has four-wheel-drive and winches on both ends.
You're from East-Tennessee if you visit the flea-market, but you're REALLY from East-Tennessee if you don't bother to bring any money.
You're from East-Tennessee if you live on a dirt-road, but you're REALLY from East-Tennessee if there is a plywood fence around the house, a vegetable garden out back, a wood-pile somewhere, and old appliances on the front porch.
You're from East-Tennessee if you eat at McDonald's, but you're REALLY from East-Tennessee if you call it MacDonaldses.
You're from East-Tennessee if you read the Sentinel, but you're REALLY from East-Tennessee if you believe it.
You're from East-Tennessee if you know everyone in town, but you're REALLY from East-Tennessee if they're all related to you.
You're from East-Tennessee if you go to the dump on Saturday, but you're REALLY from East-Tennessee if you leave with more than you brought.
#2 Jul 2, 2011
Someone changing a tire on the side of the road causes traffic to slow down and back up for five miles, but no-one stops to help.
'Vacation' really means 'public swimming-pool'.
You measure distance in hills.
When asking for directions, a dead possum is used as a landmark.
You have a snow-blower and don't know why.
You carry a chain in your car... and you know why.
You have used air-conditioning in January.
Your grandpa drives faster on dirt than on the highway.
You've seen people wear pull-over tee-shirts and stretchy-waist shorts to funerals.
Your neighbor stole your security-lights.
The four major food-groups are: Spam, beer, potato-chips, and Pepsi.
You threw away your jumper-cables and started carrying an extra battery.
You've ever seen a truck using six parking-spaces at Wal-Mart.
You've hit a pot-hole and totalled your car.
A five-mile drive takes an hour.
You have to drive 150 miles to get to a town 20 miles away.
Pascal's Wager is taught at the public schools.
You know how to merge from six lanes... to one.
You have to drive 50 miles to buy a beer... 150 on Sundays.
You've ever gotten a ticket for having a road-map on the dash from a drunk cop.
You've never passed a construction-site without a sleeping state-trooper in front of it.
If someone is nice to you, either they want something, or they're from out-of-state.
You could own a small town in Minnesota for the cost of your house.
The local EMS people got a pay-raise when the minimum wage was increased.
There are seven Wal-Marts within 20 miles of your house.
You can name ten roads with more than four different speed-limits.
You cringe whenever anyone on national television mentions Tennessee.
It's not tailgating unless your bumper is actually touching the car in front of you.
You know that the turn-signal on the car approaching you means absolutely nothing.
You slow down to turn right on the shoulder... you learned the hard way.
You see a car going 80 in a 25 zone... and think nothing of it.
The best mosquito deterrent is a shot-gun.
You know what a flashing orange traffic-light means.
You know of a dozen bridges with signs saying, "Cross at your own risk."
You buy the processed meat... it's safer that way.
You know someone who was killed by KFC food.
You know that that large puddle with level pavement on all sides could swallow a Buick.
The smell of sewage brings back childhood memories.
An old drunk guy driving a lawn-tractor down the highway-shoulder pulling a trailer full of children is nothing unusual.
Someone bumps into you, and you automatically check for your wallet.
That old lady arguing with herself? Perfectly normal.
You carry snow-chains year-round.
You know someone who has been abducted by aliens.
You know someone who has seen Bigfoot.
You know someone who has been abducted by aliens and has seen Bigfoot.
You've ever worn a three-piece suit with rubber boots.
You know the true value of large fender-tire clearance.
Your neighbor's house has taillights.
You've been married three times and still have the same in-laws.
The high-school supplies babysitters for the prom.
There are 5,000 types of snake, and 4,998 of them live here.
There are 10,000 types of spider, and we have them all, plus a few no-one's seen before.
Since: Jun 11
#3 Jul 2, 2011
thanks!! I just sat and laughed til i cried! LOL
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