is talking on the phone to someone el...

is talking on the phone to someone else cheating?while married!

Posted in the Morristown Forum

First Prev
of 4
Next Last
curiuous

Newport, TN

#1 Dec 4, 2009
say if your sugnificant other was talking to someone on the phone about meeting and getting to know someone considered cheating even though they get caught before they ever get to meet up?
Splish Splash

Knoxville, TN

#2 Dec 4, 2009
yes
it goes against the concept of trust
Jason

Morristown, TN

#3 Dec 4, 2009
curiuous wrote:
say if your sugnificant other was talking to someone on the phone about meeting and getting to know someone considered cheating even though they get caught before they ever get to meet up?
Learn how to spell curious and I'll give you some advice.
been therw

Jefferson City, TN

#4 Dec 4, 2009
definitely if they are afraid to let you know. It is..
curious

Newport, TN

#5 Dec 4, 2009
curious hows that. he did come clean. but he was just busted.
Jason

Morristown, TN

#6 Dec 4, 2009
curious wrote:
curious hows that. he did come clean. but he was just busted.
In that case, I'll elaborate. Call me whatever you want to but no one can ever accuse me of adultry. I've been married for 24 years and I love my wife just as much now as when I did the very first day we met.

My opinion:

For a woman, who discovers infidelity has occurred, the act will damage you to the core. While he, being a more "visual" being is going to have battle terrible images, not only will a wife have to combat the thought of the act, she will probably experience a more "entire being" demoralization. "Why did he do it?" "Is it because I'm not attractive any longer?" "Didn't I satisfy him?" The wife will beat herself up. Don't do that. Time and time again it's proven that marital infidelity has little to do with looks or sexual dissatisfaction. People are hedonistic, plus, society sends all the wrong signals.

When you find your husband has cheated, first, understand that there is absolutely nothing wrong with you. He is the cheater; he is without excuse; he is the one who has a flaw. Next, it is important to move fast regarding any mutual resources. You never know if this is a serious affair with a long-term or permanent third party. He's taken your marriage, he doesn't' deserve the rest of your life, at least at this point.

Don't let him excuse this as "just a phone conversation," because obviously he's "looking" for something else. Regardless of the reason, it's his problem not yours. Tally up every mutual resource you have "together" and make a list. Figure out what you want, don't want etc.. File for divorce but DO NOT leave your house, especially if you're married. "HE" is the one that will lose in the end "NOT YOU" and don't let him convince you otherwise.

Find a good divorce attorney and file immediately. This is "NOT" the man you want to spend the rest of your life with, because think about it for a minute. "IF" he was "THE ONE" this wouldn't have ever happened in the first place.

During the divorce file for legal separation, but again and I can't stress this enough. "DO NOT" leave your home.

Try to gather as much evidence of his infedelity as you can and simply hand it all over to your attorney, and let him cross the finish line.

Other than that, you're on your own. If you don't do something about it "NOW" you're leaving yourself open for even worse in the future. I bid you good luck in whatever you choose and hope that you make the right choices.
mr gator

Talbott, TN

#7 Dec 4, 2009
yea its cheating if the other person doesnt know its wrong point blank
curious

Newport, TN

#8 Dec 4, 2009
back to jason. so you think there is no hope for working a marriage out? i would be throwing 18years down the drain for one phone call. but i do see your point there has been trust issues broken that will take years to mend. your wife is lucky.
Jason

Morristown, TN

#9 Dec 4, 2009
curious wrote:
back to jason. so you think there is no hope for working a marriage out? i would be throwing 18years down the drain for one phone call. but i do see your point there has been trust issues broken that will take years to mend. your wife is lucky.

Consider trust like a vase.. once it's broken, though you can fix it the vase will never be same again. Although a vase is an inanimate object, it's still a fact.
curious

Newport, TN

#10 Dec 4, 2009
thanks jason.i guess God will help me through it.
Tiger

Morristown, TN

#11 Dec 4, 2009
Ummm......it is if you ask the girl to take her greeting off her phone before your wife calls. Just speaking from experience.
Christie

United States

#12 Dec 4, 2009
It is 2009 men and women can be simply friends but if he is married and he is planning on meeting someone who is just his friend then he has no problem taking you. If it is a problem then yes he was up to no good and he needs to be gone.

Its hard to deal with cheater but honey I just went through it so I know.
Jason

Morristown, TN

#13 Dec 4, 2009
curious wrote:
thanks jason.i guess God will help me through it.
If god in fact was ever going to help you through anything, being as he's "all knowing" and so on.. This wouldn't be happening to you, but let's put religion aside for a brief moment and step into reality.

Being that this is happening to you, I'd at least consider other options in my decision for my future if I were you. However, I can only give my advice to you and hope your decisions bid you well in the future.

To know just what has do be done, then to do it, comprises the whole philosophy of practical life, and the decisions you make today, will significantly effect your tomorrow.

Also, I'm not sitting here telling you this guy is the worst thing since obama got elected. This could in fact be a wake-up call for him and your life would be a fairy tale of how the perfect relationship should be. I'm merely saying that statistics and history disagree, and if history holds true, "which it is not only true but fact," you need to do what's best for you and your future and find that someone who's going to worship you and the ground you walk on. Someone who longs to see you at the end of each day, and someone who has no interests in other women.

In any event, I'm done on this topic and I hope my advice helped at least a little, and the rest of your life is what it was meant to be.
curious

Newport, TN

#14 Dec 4, 2009
christie, did you catch him before he slept with her or after. my only problem is my spouse told me after he talk to this girl on the phone that he was sorry and had no intentions of ever talking to her again. he has been so tore up he has been vomiting.he didnt have to come clean. so from my point im really confused because even though he came clean i still se it as cheating.what is even worse he met this women on my sons field trip from school.
AWAY

Morristown, TN

#15 Dec 4, 2009
Don't give up 18 years over a phone call, there are temptations everywhere. Forgive, I wish I had.
curious

Newport, TN

#16 Dec 4, 2009
forgiving is easy forgetting is the hard part. the only thing is our kids are in the same school the same grade the same christmas play. how do i sit with this woman and not rip her head off
Christie

United States

#17 Dec 4, 2009
curious wrote:
christie, did you catch him before he slept with her or after. my only problem is my spouse told me after he talk to this girl on the phone that he was sorry and had no intentions of ever talking to her again. he has been so tore up he has been vomiting.he didnt have to come clean. so from my point im really confused because even though he came clean i still se it as cheating.what is even worse he met this women on my sons field trip from school.
Actually my situation was similiar but I found out through an email through myspace. While I was on the phone with him his new girlfriend was Imin me on myspace telling me about it. The only reason why any man would be upset is because he was caught.
CHEATERS SUCK

Nashville, TN

#18 Dec 5, 2009
Christie wrote:
<quoted text>
Actually my situation was similiar but I found out through an email through myspace. While I was on the phone with him his new girlfriend was Imin me on myspace telling me about it. The only reason why any man would be upset is because he was caught.
myspace is from the devil...
Candeeda

Morristown, TN

#19 Dec 5, 2009
The best advice for everyone is, don't waste your time trying to be in a relationship, a marriage or finding someone who loves you. This world is falling to hell in a hand basket and it seems more and more people only care about the new pierce of ))) they might get or get tired of what they've got at home and start looking. The way I see it is if you don't give a damn about anyone they will spend their time trying to make you give a damn about them. The moral is keep it that way cause when you let your guard down they'll dump or screw around on you.

Since: Dec 09

Russellville, TN

#20 Dec 5, 2009
I agree.ait is cheating.And you will never really know what he was planning to do.He's not going to tell you that he was going to sleep with this woman.But never the less,if you love him and plan on staying with him.It will take a long time to get the trust back.I have been there.I've been with my husband for 10 years and he has made alot of mistakes.It has been almost 5 years.I still don't trust him.And every time we have an argument the past comes up.You will never forget what he has done.One things for sure.If i where you i would let this other woman know that i knew and that if she messed with my husband again i would rip her head off.This is just my thoughts.And i would'nt throw away 18 years.And put your kids threw that.

Tell me when this thread is updated:

Subscribe Now Add to my Tracker
First Prev
of 4
Next Last

Add your comments below

Characters left: 4000

Please note by submitting this form you acknowledge that you have read the Terms of Service and the comment you are posting is in compliance with such terms. Be polite. Inappropriate posts may be removed by the moderator. Send us your feedback.

Morristown Discussions

Title Updated Last By Comments
out of control cops 52 min Sad but True 47
loads of bullshit at LAC 1 hr Hcounty 12
Can an infant be taken away if they live in a h... (Oct '15) 1 hr Mr Goldstein 29
Jody Dalton 2 hr Mr Goldstein 1
snitches in morristown and Russellville 2 hr Mr Goldstein 40
The Mentality of a Factory Worker. (May '13) 2 hr Wannabango 31
Cherokee Park 3 hr Fyi 81

Morristown Jobs

More from around the web

Personal Finance

Morristown Mortgages