This is me: ...

Hometown: Mt. Tabor, Parsippany, NJ

Occupation: NASA Astronaut, Hip-Hop Party DJ

Lived here since: 2001

Local Organizations: Heaven's Gate cult, Mt. Tabor Chapter.

Why do you live in Parsippany? I decided to move to Parsippany so that when I retire from NASA I can get a local government job with a free government car, a big salary, a fat pension, and an opportunity to steal manhole covers from the township.

Favorite thing about Parsippany? We have a well-rested police force. I was surprised to hear that they're even allowed to sleep in their cars while on duty.

The Worst Thing? I tried to get my property rezoned Recreation, Conservation & Wildlife to reduce my property taxes by 2/3, but I don't have enough local politcal conncetions yet and I'm not a good liar.

Favorite place in town? Whitewood Drive. I go up there visualize what it's like living next to an old landfill.

Best Kept Secret in Town: The more than $1,000,000 of taxpayer money that went from the township to the association in Mt. Tabor.

Something your neighbors wouldn't know about you? I learned all I know about politcs from Roy Messmer...God help me.

How long will you live here: I will stay long enough for the spaceships to land in Mt. Tabor and take our cult members and me to a better place.