OMG! Santa Claus is only 4+ months away! Quick! Raise the gas prices!
OH NOOOOO! Taco Bell is running out of Taco Shells! Quick! Raise the gas prices!
HOLY SMOLY! The Drew Peterson Trial has begun! Quick! Somebody raise the gas prices!
WHAT!?!?! United Airlines lost someone's luggage in Tulsa??? Quickly now! Raise the gas prices!
OH MY Fukkin Gawd!!! Did you hear about Michael Phelps quest for Olympic glory?!?! My goodness, quick, raise the price of gas!
WELL NOW! Fifty Shades of Grey is a best seller though I do not care to read it! Guess we should raise the price of gas!

Anyone else have a good reason for all this nonsense? Better say it quickly before they...wait for it....raise the price of gas.