Wake up morons. I am from Philadelphia

Wake up morons. I am from Philadelphia

Posted in the Morgantown Forum

Since: Oct 08

Location hidden

#1 Aug 12, 2010
Only one person could write that, my friend Eagles Fan,“Bryn Eyre” post #170.

It was my good fortune to end up on a forum with such a unique and remarkable individual. Most Topix posters seem to be very well thought out while others appear to be crazy angry, this man seems to posses both qualities at once. Apparently a well educated and successful man that talks like a grade school bully, displaying all the subtlety and charm of an enraged skinhead, and yet giving the appearance of being well connected and worldly. Well... he has truly inspired me, in fact I am dedicating a whole thread to this strange and enigmatic character. So sit back Mr.“I have a big 401K”, this bud's for you.

P.S. I would kindly ask that no one else post in this thread, except of course Eagles Fan.

Since: Oct 08

Location hidden

#2 Aug 12, 2010
I wanted to add a caveat to a play I wrote a couple of months ago. Obliviously I can't use the F-word so I use f or f'ing, when you read this play use the F-word, you will think that Joe Pesci is really angry a Eagles Fan.
This is the greatest scene from one of the greatest movies ever made,“Goodfellas”, a psychotic mobster acting murderously angry just for kicks. Joe Pesci won the academy award for his performance as the deranged “Tommy”, I think Ray Liotta should have won, he looks so uncomfortable in this scene. I call this play “Philly Mob.


EAGLES FAN. Did you know the Klan is hiding under every rock in Berks County? Some of my best friends are black! You people suck, I come from Philadelphia! Your moronic posts only amuse me.
JOE PESCI. I'm funny? Funny how? Like I'm a clown, I'm here to amuse you, how am I funny?
“EAGLES FAN. We need more bars in Berks County, it's always fun to sit downstairs and have a good laugh at the dregs of the area. I feel sorry for you people. I actually find this stupid stuff amusing.
JOE PESCI. I make you laugh? I'm here to f'ing amuse you? What the f' is so funny about me?
EAGLES FAN. Morgantown sucks! Are we ever going to get a second horse. I don't know who I hate more, the Amish the rednecks the Bible thumpers or the old Dutchie's, hold on, I got it, guy's with mullets and missing teeth! I find you idiots amusing.
JOE PESCI. I amuse you? I'm here to f'ing amuse you? What the f' is so funny about me? Tell me, tell me what's funny!
EAGLES FAN. I live in a McMansion, they live in a trailer. I have more in cash in savings and my paycheck than they will ever see. If these freakin' housing prices ever go up I'll be leaving toothless wonders like them behind. Those nitwits only crack me up.
JOE PESCI. What is so f'ing funny about me! Tell me! Tell me what's so funny!

Since: Oct 08

Location hidden

#3 Aug 12, 2010
Eagles Fan
That's some mighty fine writin' my friend! And Pennsyltucky, pure genius, did you write that? I hear the Phila. Inquirer sports page is in want of an astute an' versatile writer such as yourself. When them housing prices go up and you get your hands on a little money, pack-up up the buggy and head to Philly! Why... I hear tell Eagles fans are some of the most distinguished, sophisticated, and urbane people in the country. I guess one could call an Eagles game the worlds largest Mensa meetin'.

You know, you remind me of an ol' cus I once knew, angry at the world! Hated one more than the next, couldn't stand men, sickened by women. White folk, black folk, Latinos you name it, but his heart grew darkest when he laid his evil eyes upon a “hick” as he was fond of calling them. A life full of loathing, revulsion and contempt for his fellow man. Well... one gentle summer afternoon this ol' fella that I speak of, as we all must do, left this beautiful blue orb that we all share. That's right, he went on to meet his maker, which I'm sure wasn't a pretty sight, what with all the hatin' and carrying on he did while he walked this man's earth. Sorta reminds me of that Scrooge fella, and how he was forced to look back on his life with sorrow and regret. But leave it up to old Charley Dickens to pen some of the most profound words ever written when he summed up Scrooge's predicament with “ Mankind was my business!”

Eagles Fan, mankind is your business.


Since: Oct 08

Location hidden

#4 Aug 12, 2010
I noticed Eagles fan was very impressed with the writing of Loyerd6, since they're both such sweet-talkers perhaps an internet “friendship?” These are their words exactly the way they wrote them, so there is no need for quotation marks. It's a typical boy meets girl story, starts out a little rocky, then goes from bad to worse real quick, however they do find a some common ground in the end. I call it “God Bless Us Everyone!”

EAGLES FAN. Well what do we have here?
LOYERD6. Is that the best you've got?
EAGLES FAN. Uhh Uuh aahh aaahh!
LOYERD6. You're not smart enough to even know what that means.
EAGLES FAN. Let me ask you this. When is the last time you're seen a doctor with a mullet, bad teeth, or a black hat? Am I discriminating or being honest?
LOYERD6. You obviously are a sad, pathetic, soul-less creature.
EAGLES FAN. Fortunately I have very thick skin. This mob mentality is typical in human nature. Don't hate us because we're superior. It's not becoming of you.
LOYERD6. NO, I'm not like you. I have never used a different name. You don't know who I know.
EAGLES FAN. This is like watching Schizophrenia translated to the computer screen. No multiple identities here. I say it like it is regardless of who agrees under my lone identity.
LOYERD6. Just because you're a pretentious wanker, don't accuse me of lying.
EAGLES FAN. Pretentious wanker? I love it.
LOYERD6.You're not smart enough to even know what that means.
EAGLES FAN. Let me give you something to stew about. People like you hate Philadelphia and Eagles fans and all that the big metro area represents The part you'll never understand about "us" is that it's about passion and heart...something you lack out here. I spent many of my years with black friends in black neighborhoods...places corn fed innocent little country folks like you would be eaten alive. You people have no clue what real life is about. Keep living in your dream world.
LOYERD6. Karma is a bitch, and when you look up BAD KARMA, your face comes up.
EAGLES FAN. It looks like your true nature has been exposed in this little Freudian Slip. Isn't it true that you are the angry, bitter one here? Many of us are enjoying the verbal banter here and taking jabs here and there, but it is you that has come with such anger and true hatred.
LOYERD6. There's a difference between excuses and explanation. Mine was the latter. Since you only have the mentality of a door knob.
EAGLES FAN. Nice to see we have a redneck among us. I was starting to wonder where all the toothless wonders went. Instead of pissing up a rope, why don't I come over and piss on your doorstep, genius? If you had my job you would have a sizable 401K, stocks, and a nice home rather than a broken down, lopsided trailer with a 1977 Ford Pinto and dilapidated couch in the front yard.
LOYERD6. useless, fcktard, shthead,
EAGLES FAN. Now I am truly scared! Are people welcome if they are from a culture"other than white"?
LOYERD6. shthead, bottom feeding, pretentious wanker,
EAGLES FAN. Pretentious wanker? I love it.
LOYERD6. good for nothing, pencil dicked, child hating, oxygen wasting, peabrained, heartless, trash eating, useless, fcktard,
EAGLES FAN. Not a product of the UK are you, mate?
LOYERD6. You are pathetic. Well with just a preschool education, I guess so!
EAGLES FAN. I love the way you villify me. Based on your writing style I would venture that you were educated in the University of Pennsyltucky and rode to school on a horse and buggy. Am I close?
LOYERD6. God only gave souls to humans!
EAGLES FAN. God Bless Pennsyltucky!
CHARLES DICKENS. God bless us, everyone!

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